As the skyline alters its guise
From the lively azure
To an idle whitish hue
Which ended into
A mournful shade of gray
Like the shade in films of retros.

A frightening sound,
A roar from an angry beast echoed
After every glowing zigzagged lines
Which I thought he drew.

Louder it went
Like drum rolls
Of an ill-staged concerto,
But uglier it turned into.

Haunted, I cupped my hands on both ears
Crept under the covers
And wished it all away.

Don't try to make me wait
In the cold dark night
I am my own ray of light
You will melt like snow
You're an awkward firefly
Losing its glow.

How dare you
Stereotype girls
As worthy of a bouquet
And not
How dare you
Imply that
You were not to be seen
With her in public
Was she a monster, a ghost
Or something else?
Was she ugly or what?
Maybe she wasn't as pretty
As those girls
You've been following on Facebook
Liking their profile pictures
Every time they make updates
Or that ******* the wallpaper
Of your phone
Or that girl you've always been dying for
To be your girlfriend
Who looked so much like
That teen star on TV.
How dare you
Tell her you loved her
Call her baby
When all you did in the end
Was left her
For another girl
Who now bears your future baby
How dare you
Drive her home after work
For a week or two
Ask her if she still loves you
Because you think you are still
In love with her
But then after a month
You're with another girl
Took pictures on that
Famous hilltop
Then said she was just a fling
How dare you
Read her poems
Make her believe
You admired her poetry
But all you did
Was get this idea
And tried writing a poem
For another girl you courted
How dare you
Demand for her time
When you were so bored
Of all of your free time
And all she did
Was to free her me time
Just to compromise
How dare you
Tell her you feel the same
When all she supposedly
Wanted was to be just friends
But you hid from her
That you already have your own girl
How dare you
Dare me
Was I a fool
When all I thought
That love
Was the most beautiful feeling?
How dare I?

you can meet me at twilight
and maybe we'll stay up
until midnight
watch the stars, the moon
and what's beyond
and tell stories we haven't told anyone

I am not alone now every 2:15 a.m
You meet me somewhere in between the stars and heaven
We tell stories without hearing our own voices
Or tell stories without seeing the twists on our faces
Once, we've thought we're only fooling ourselves on April first
But the rest of the twenty-nine days proved it was never
Not lying, never fooling, only falling to infinity until forever.

run, baby let's run
one, two one four
new romantics, you and i
escape this town now
leave all the worries behind.

it all started with a single hi
three days, three nights
of unstoppable phone conversations
life lessons from three decades
of each other's existence
then, one midnight
you drive past the city lights
to meet me on the other side..

they say what you see is what you get
but what if the walls were built too high,
what would you do to see what's inside?

Memories,
Nothing but just an old trick.
The past,
Crammed with both agony and fear
Dignity is condemned from the outwitted.

Memories,
Nothing but just a recurring nightmare.
The future,
Hindered by unresolved guilt and shame.
Misfortune shadows the pessimistic soul.

Memories.
Everything that tells your history.
The present,
Judged by the notorious in disguise.
Faith is your only guidance this time.

I've been strolling for an hour along the outskirts of this sad empty town. My stomach grumbled upon the smell of the hot sweet corn cob sold at the nearby park. I hadn't eaten breakfast.

I see a lot of people at the park. There are street sweepers, lovers, and children. I stare directly into their eyes and they signify a common thing. But I can’t seem to describe it immediately. All I know is that I know they weren't happy.

One little girl playing a ball with her brother caught my attention. I always see them here. I know they are happy. They are laughing. The boy tosses the ball into the air then the girl catches it. Sometimes, she runs after it when she misses a toss. Then suddenly, the ball came rolling from her. She had a hard time chasing it. So I run after the ball and luckily I made it stop by blocking it with my body before it can completely reach the street. I’m also afraid the girl might get hit by any passing vehicle.
 
I guess that was a great leap. But I wasn't hurt at all.

Then the little girl picked up the ball and went back to playing. I was still there on that spot where I made the ball stop. I look around to see what the others are doing.

To my surprise, the little girl suddenly came near to me. She smiled, and then chuckled. Her cheeks were turning red as she gradually patted my head. Then the boy took something from their picnic box and later joined us. He gave me a half-eaten sandwich. I heartily ate it. My hunger was then satisfied. I barked twice as a sign of thanking those kids.

“Good!” the boy said as he was touching my back too.

I thought I would be having playmates this time. But the kids have to leave soon since it’s already lunch time. Their mom might be waiting for them.

Then they left. And I was left there at that park where I usually stay during day time. I see different people come and go.

I remembered one time when I met *****. She was so cheerful. We were playing for a couple of hours and soon she needs to go.

The next day, I wake up to the loud voices coming from business people having conversation about investments and sales. I hardly understand a thing about their talk. But I know they were arguing about big amounts of money. I know about money. They are pieces of paper and small circular objects which strollers used to buy food in the park.

Since I have no idea what those two people are dealing with, I just hopped and landed to the ground and ran away from that bench which they were situated.

Why do people keep on arguing about big complex things? This is a question which I can’t seem to answer. I have been living a simple life. My daily routines have never been changed since the day I made this park my home.

As I was running away, I bumped into someone. He was a frail old man with a wooden cane in his left arm. Our slight collision almost made him trip and fall to the ground. But he kept his balance, probably because of that cane which aids him in walking. I too kept my balance. Then, the old man stooped to sit down on the humid grassy ground. I was just there in front of him.
 
“You, little one,” he whispered in a monotone.

I was feeling a little bit of excitement upon being with this man for some moments. He talked a lot about his son named Abe who was taken away from him by the government because he can’t afford to sustain his needs. His wife too met another man while working abroad.

An hour has passed. A little girl suddenly came running near to us. She was Ashley, as what the old man introduced to me. I thought I’d be having companions for today but Ashley only came to fetch the old man because she was looking for him since yesterday. And soon, they left.

It’s always like this. I get to meet someone or some other people but then after a short moment of having enjoyed their companies, they would then leave. I know they have their own homes and lives to attend to. And they wouldn't be wasting their time to some ordinary being like me.

I wished of leaving the park, move to some other place and maybe hope that someone would like me and bring me home. But I guess there would be no one. And I, would always be that same hopeful park dog.

Your tan skin
and your curly hair,
I miss
the tingling sensation
they create.

Your eyes
and the curve of your lashes
as they gently pull down
every time
my palm touches
your cheeks.

Your hands
and your fingertips
warmth mine
when you wrap
them around.

Your green
or blue-green shirt,
I think you have one
because green
used to be our favorite.

Your red sneakers
that you often wear
and the way you walk
along the corner.

Your big bike,
the highway,
the rain,
the passing vehicles,
the cold wind
and the drive home.

Your bonnet,
that grey
with zebra-like skin weave
that perfectly suits on you
because you love bonnets
and I think I love bonnets too.

Your guitar
which you and I
both had it played
on the third of the first month
when we’re on the seaside
and it was a Friday
and it was your birthday
in particular.

And I did sing you happy birthday twice,
first over the phone
in the middle of the night
and second on the seaside.

And then, we kissed
and we laughed
and we told each other’s story
of how we fell in love
and I said,
“If ever you break my heart,
I will close my door to anyone.”

So that would mean you’ll be my last
but my tongue is of a fortune-teller
and what’s going on so far?

Is the world I carry with me.
At the back of my head,
Are these words I play back and forth.
At my back,
Is a child who's always
Fond of furs and cats,
Afraid of thunder and ghosts;
And there in front of me,
Is a lady perfecting
How to become a woman,
Waiting for the right man.

W a i t !

The best of me
  is yet to come
  or maybe,
  just maybe
  it's hidden under these
  g a r m e n t s

        *or

        six
        feet

  under the ground.

The depths of my despair are gradually fading away.
My downfall, my shortcomings, I've familiarized them already.
Any wise words could never ever blow a gun on me,
Preach to me not, nothing would matter really.

It was like a century of pure sentiments;
You will be haunted of my innocence and silence.
Discontentment will creep back to you as if it were a consequence
Run to your hideouts now and bid farewell to your merriment.

Shuffling yesterdays and tomorrows that may fall into a fusion;
Have you pore over yourself and have your own evaluation?
Oh! My dear old friend, I guess you haven’t.. it’s just safe not to mention.
And for a conclusion, that’s why you've made that quick decision.

Well said, well done and my emotions enslaved me for an instance,
An avalanche of good and bad memories flashes back without any nuance
But, fearless, I am this time and ready to embrace acceptance;
Rejection and motivation that is definitely a balance.

A blue sky, I’ll paint and maybe world peace, I’ll create,
You will soon notice me like fireworks with just a free spirit
Midst conflicting egos before anyone could speculate,
I’ll leave my mark, a highlight, and that is how I’ll operate.

maybe i was wrong
when i believed
that it should age
like a fine wine
because sometimes,
it's only good
when it started.

Sent my tear-stained shirt off to the laundry
Nothing else more to worry
Sleeves would be as bold as of an army
Collar's persnickety like the majesty
Cleansed and free from insanity
No traces of crumples and folds
From any of your memories.

I didn't want you to know how much I wanted you so I kept writing poems about you, put them in a box, buried it at the backyard near the mango tree where I carved your name. And, I left you a note during my last visit.*

I was rocking my chair there at  the front porch cuddling my kitties like an eighty-year-old lady was supposed to be on a sunny afternoon. Then there's this little boy (who looked so much like you when you used  to be kid with chubby cheeks on a picture in a frame hanged from your living room wall) who never stopped nagging me about those letters in a box he found at the backyard.

My uninvited guest has left me chest bombs.
He still lurks around the neighborhood
frightening us every now and then with no
known pattern unlike the whereabouts of a serial killer.

My uninvited guest knocks never from
the front door or the rear ones but tries to pound under
the floorboards shattering every home, stirring hopes.
He destroyed facades, detested our faith.

My uninvited guest has come once upon a time
turning the sunshine morning sight
into a shaking mourning scene. And up until now,
I still rush to the doorstep not to welcome him
but to run away, run for my life.

Whispers from deep voices that seemingly deteriorate;
We chorused into the thunderous sound of that old cello.
Not a harmony we could ever create,
This is not what I intend, everything turned askew.

That old pendulum is swaying to its usual way,
A resemblance of our long gone grieves
It was an affair crammed with dismay.

But darling, you've got your demons now;
Down to the age of your throwbacks, stupefying you every now and then
And here I am, still that vigilant somehow.

The double six tragedy was indeed an epic.
Distance, silence, timing, all falling into an illusion,
And yes, that was your treacherous scheme, making me even more frantic
But life never stops there, in the end there would still be an affirmation.

She envied the way
He talked to the saleslady
Asking her for a pack
Trying to charm her in every way.

She loathed the way
He used to puff smoke from his mouth
Smiling at the passers-by
In front of the hallway.

She hid his ashtray
In the bottom of the top drawer
He searched for it
From corner to corner.

She went away
Carrying her suitcase
Never left a word
When she knew
He had found the ashtray.

She’s gone for a week,
But three knocks came
From the front door
He thought it was her
But it was never.

She wrote him a letter,
The mailman said
Handed it to him
Along with an urn.

She said in the letter
She breathed
Every smoke he blew
And now,
She turned into
Like that powder in gray
On the ashtray.

The city lights
will shout at me
forcing me to stay
but the stars
shall whisper
to my ear,
you are calling
out my name.

are you even tastier
than coffee
that i crave for you
even on nights
that i'm widely
awake?

the stars have pretty much aligned
when my manifestations did work,
a year ago, i scribbled your name
nine times across a blank page
sending you vibrations that i still exist;

now, mercury is in retrograde
i’ve stopped asking for signs over the weekend
a year later, more than nine, a hundred times
your name appears on my phone screen,
stalling, i'm just staying still
send me a text and let me know if in my life
you still want to exist.

We deserve healing,
The kind of healing that cures
Our deepest, hidden, past sorrows;
We deserve relief,
The kind of relief that sets
Us stable and tranquil;
We deserve peace,
The kind of peace that keeps
Us safe from the wars outside;
We deserve warmth,
The kind of warmth that eases
Our troubled minds and heart;
We deserve love,
The kind of love that feels
Home, a sanctuary.
We deserve happiness
We deserve to be treated so right
We deserve a soft landing
We deserve assurance;
We deserve to watch every sunset
And never doubt its glow,
We deserve to wish upon every shooting star
And believe that wishes always do come true,
We deserve this safe space between us
We deserve everything
My love, we deserve each other.

You were as blurry
As the windshield
Of that passenger vehicle
I rode on just this noon
When I’m coming home
And I've waited for your text message
And I kept on looking at the screen
Hoping your name might appear
With you saying
You missed me so much
But it didn't happen
And it rained so heavy
The wiper’s dysfunctional
Causing the driver a hard time
Tracing down
The slippery road.