You look in the mirror and know bloating is your enemy
You have people tell you, you are too flat
You are not skinny, you are not fat
When food can be your frenemy

You put in all this work
You have people tell you it will never be enough
You are not strong, you are not weak
When your body can call your bluff

You always try and stick to the rules
You have people tell you that you could do better and include this and that
You are not memorable, you are not forgetful
When your diet looks like something you do not get at

I could feel the tension
I could feel all the blood in me
settling to the bottom, within my feet
my feet, now red, under pressure
pulling me down, I could not seem
to fight the weight that was
pulling me down, down and down

my feet now full, now red, like a bucket
full of water, ready to spill, ready to give way
my feet now ready to burst and set free
the tensed blood for once and for all

-Kaya

Colour me optimistic
But I think I'm gonna make it
Gonna take that ridge
And prove to the fatalistics
That nothing's out of reach
If you stick at it
- And you're a little opportunistic.

You say it's not much
But it's all relativistic
So please don't begrudge me
My uncharacteristic
Success this last week:
I did loose a little
weight.

The sunshine beats down
******* your
Rough skin
You told yourself
To give up
Blood and sin

Down you said
You'd try to ****
The pain
After all the times you said
You'd find
Your way

Times like these
They never seem
To stick
Wash off all the tears
You tried so hard
To flick

You never thought
You'd ever be
This sick
What'll you say now
When the strings are cut
Too quick

After all there's
Nothing else left
To be said
Let the water rush
Over your sunken
Chest

now is not enough,
so
     say
             it
                                 slow.

every syllable drops

                                    another weight on
my chest

every phoneme
another league
i continue to sink (faster)
within
.