When life is thrown at you and hurled too fast,
You can’t even see, or even look past,
The struggles that hit you so evenly.
They leave no room for purpose or meaning.

I tried to color inside life’s challenging lines,
But realized quickly there’s not even enough time,
To draw what was always invisible.
The colors I used are not even giveable.

When you ask my name, and what you should call me,
I ignore the preference because it’s not worth recalling.
I’m just another lonely boy in a lonely world,
Where emotions and hardships are suddenly hurled.

The impact they cause is too painful to describe.
But if you felt what I felt, you’d know how I’d die.
It jabs you in the heart and never stops stabbing.
Yet I’m still standing here, my heart still beating,

It gives all it can give, pumping every bit of blood.
It doesn’t give up and just give up trying,
For it knows it’s ultimately dying.
It pumps as long as the sun is still rising.

I am no longer a slave to fear,
I suffered and struggled,
but all was lefted higher
when I let you cary me
through the fire.

I gathered my well
I built my wall’s stronger
all in your name,
I gave you all of my strife
and excepted my life.

I lived as life pushed on
harder, as is your well
and your desire.

You gave me kindling
to build my fire,
allowing my flame
to grow higher.

I have just one desire,
to live for you
and grow until
I can’t grow any higher.

You are my hope and dreams,
you bring me to my knees,
not in vain but for
strangth and exceptance.

Aman

**© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

Anxiety is a monster
Inside my mind
Its claws scrape my skin.
It tongue traces my
Clock and rewinds
Its red eyes glow
When I grin
Makes me wonder
Who I am?
When it’s angry
I aspire to change
My body vibrates
Like a crashing wave.
My nails
Nip and pick
My head spins
My hands are in my hair
Pulling from the stems.
Anxiety you are a beast
You live inside me
Burrowing deep enough that
You are a part of me
You are the roots and I am the tree.

I am a woman
Who once was young
Before my phone wrung
Before my long days begun
I woke up with a smile
That lasted a while
My cheeks would sting
I was not worrying about any ring
The only thing was
Half the time it was only me.

I have always been a loner
and to me that was fine
I liked being by myself
and I spend so much time
wandering around thinking
about how the world could be

I have always been a dreamer
This world was not for me
theres way too much rules
But I wanted to be free
I dont need power or money on mass
I just wanted to be safe
and not a person out of glass

I have always been honest
and never backed out
stood up for mistakes
And never had a doubt
about doing the right thing

I have never been a coward
and rarely dropped a tear
I always met challenges
and rarely feld fear

But then the day came
When I first saw her smile
To see it again I would run through hell
and it would be worth every mile
She made my brain freeze
and my heart stopped a while
It was a moment like no other
this moment of her smile

Its been a year and my feelings wont budge
but Im too afraid to ask her out
A yes from her would change my life
But i guess that is what love is about

I dont want to be alone anymore
And theres no need to dream when she is around
Her no is the only thing that I fear
but I guess I have to stand my ground

I am a coward
Im too weak for this
I guess I should stop it
And never hope for a kiss

I tried to forget her
and go back to the start
but her glance broke my will
and her smile stole my heart

By His grace,
            I have lived a life full of contentment.
By His grace,
            I have climbed the steepest mountains.
By His grace,
            I have learned what eternal love is.
I have felt the sun and its warmth,
I have felt the rain and its ice cold pain,
But by His grace,
            I made it through.

Another late night
I struggle to sleep
My cold, pale, heart
And a million broken dreams

Another late night
I'm stuck here alone
Agony chews the skin
Straight to the bone
The stitches in my chest
Have begun to divide
Blood gushes from my soul
Drowning me deep inside

Another late night
Eyes too tired to stay closed
My hopes dance away
With the shadows on the wall
I'll shut my eyes again
Try to sleep before dawn
Snag a few hours
Before they're all gone