Our backs are barren
**** and cold,
and we'll hug warmly
in a sporadic breath.

Reflected boldly
on a royal sword;
a caress will freeze
drowned in coldness and blush.

Broken bits of a tempo
slowly find their way;
and we'll replay back the symphony
when we're in dismay.

Like puzzle pieces trapping
scrambled sand in an hourglass;
only meaningful when time
elapses through an atom of sand.

Those puzzle pieces
are scattered and raw
small, radiant words
and bleary, missing faces.

Typically vivid when
they're glued correctly to show
a painting of a hidden memory;
it's a noisy, deserted strand.

So whenever we fight
I'll willfully lose my psyche;
to replay back the moment
I embraced you in my sight.

You held my hand as I showed you my deepest of scars,
and I held yours as you did the same.
We each held the moment as though it were to die should we release it.
And because of your grasp, I knew it was a moment worth keeping.

I don't have time for self-analysis and overthinking. I live in the moment and here time doesn't exist.

5:07 am: a man on a bike was riding exceptionally fast along a dead street. I smiled to myself. Where had he been? where was he going? was he leaving someone? or was he returning? The beauty in the moment is that i'll never know.

Nervous tick, like a beating drum, thumping, dumping.....

Pouring, waves, into your chest, waves of pure blue.

And electricity shoots through like a power surge
A fluttering heart cracks open ideas, waves of amazement
And dreams of vulnerability
And dreamers of fleeting ideas, caught in one giant (tornado)

Always a mess, undressed - eyes of green, blue, sage, summer days - wasting away

Are the feelings reciprocated?

Until a physical touch, is no longer caught in the distance. Until a physical touch is mentioned in your prescience

And all your tornados became storms of grey, black, and darkness shrouded your thoughts until you were touched with hesitancy.... with consistency.... with assurance

Disheveled and groggy, I wake to your smile as you calmly run your hand over your face.
Tired eyes meet mine and I welcome you.
I grasp my pillow when I am urged to hold you;
You are not mine.
Your eyes are focused on your phone and impulse begs me to take it,
throw it to the side,
and kiss you.
It beckons me to distract you from the hectic that has been your recent days.
I clench my pillow.
You turn your attention to me and ask what the matter is.
The anger dissipates from your clouded eyes when landing on me.
As dim as the room is, it reminds me of moonlight.
Soft, embracing.
Instead of responding, I trace the flames on your right forearm.
In this moment, I am warm.
You do not further in asking, instead you lean your head against mine and let out an exasperated sigh.
My free hand clenches my pillow.
Inside I am imploring,
"I want to love you how she never could.
"I want to love you purely.
"I want to love you wholesome."
Instead, I softly press my lips against the tattoo I was tracing.
Your fingers loosely find their way to mine, and we lay.
Quietly,
Comfortably.
I recite the moment I kiss your lips.
I plan it, step by step.
Perfectly.
Doubt drowns me out and while our lips are mere inches apart,
this is not the moment I will close the gap.
I instead bring my eyes to yours and scream every emotion I am feeling.
You grin softly at me and lay your head down, closing your eyes.
I lazily drape an arm across your chest and you drift off with an arm around me.
As you drift away to the sleep you **** well deserve,
I whisper all of the things I'd never tell
you
while you
were
awake.

***** smiles that are breathed from
          that vessel sailing on each others hearts

Embarking on the shores of rapture
      feeding the other syllables of love

Let me tell you about that fleeting moment
when I felt an emotion
that I cannot describe.

LIGHT.
drowsy and switched on by that little flutter in your heart,
the shine glides across the space
till it has molded the world
around it into warmth.

DISTANCE.
far enough to be another world, yet just close enough to be real.
the warmth is out of reach now
but we’ll get there someday, soon, but
the metres between turn my sight blue.

BODIES.
his hands twirling her and her hands guiding him,
their movements spell out words and raw beauty.
so while the world falls deaf to my ears and
their shadows dance with them-
I hear echoes of laughter, clinking glass and…love.

HAPPINESS.
I feel it all at once, yet the words escape my mind before I can
make a sound to spit them out, I don’t understand
what this feeling is.

It’s a wish to see that happiness reflect in my life,
a wish to not fear the future.
So I, a boy with the world at my fingertips and
a cloud over my heart,
describe that fleeting moment
in an attempt to understand it.

if life is like a box of chocolates
and i will never know what i’ll get,
how long do i have to await
the poisoned one?

or is every piece filled
with a little bit of poison
that takes eighty years to ****
or seventy five
or tomorrow
or today.

you ever wake up at 6 am on a holiday
and try to force yourself back to sleep?
bur your body just refuses and insists
to slouch into the arms of your mind
the arms of your mind that keep you
in shackles of an uncertain next second
what if a bomb goes off
what if an earthquake happens
what if that plane in the sky i hear crashes into my window
what if my neighbours die
what if someone is murdered in front of my eyes
what if what if what if
this uncertain next second is certain
to be the cradle i lay in as i take my last breath
will you say goodbye?
or will you walk by like you’ve always done?

will you fulfill the hunger at the pit of my stomach?
will you play my favourite songs at my funeral?
(will there even be a funeral?
do you know my favourite songs?)

this uncertain next second will sing me to slumber
and shake me awake at 6 am on a holiday
remind me of my 2 am poetry
and put my body in your hands to carry.