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Artem Mars Sep 2020
I'm scared you'll do something
I'm scared it's my fault
because I am a coward
and you are not
that scares me
a lot
you don't want to be your dad
but you don't see
I already am my dad
because he was my hero
but he's not a good person
I'm scared you will do something
and I think I know why
it's because of me
and all that I did
but if you look closer
I'm the only one that's bad
You told me you'd be fine
but it's kind of selfish
to leave the planet
and not care what it does to me
you think I'd be better
it would destroy me
I'll talk you down
I know it's not your fault
guess. just guess. :)
Artem Mars Sep 2020
I've found that I am hopeless
I am a bad person
I lash out
I hurt people
Just by sticking around
You can deny it all you want
i am a bad person
you dont even know
dont tell me you hurt me
you know what i did
i yelled and i cried
made you feel you were mine
but if you were mine,
i think i would trust you
but thats too much
i cant even hold you
i am not a good person
i dont deserve your forgiveness
im sorry.
i am.
dont do anything because of me
haha im literally very bad at poetry
Artem Mars Sep 2020
We hexed the moon
We burned downtown
We killed Carlos
We started a plague
We started riots
We almost started a 3rd war
We protested and got shot
We killed our year
We said it would be better
We lied and broke it
We tried and failed it
And now I'm sick of resentment
But we can improve it
It's been quite a while since I wrote something but I'm back for a bit :)
Artem Mars May 2020
I want to improve
I wish I was better
please, someone, help me
understand my pain and suffering
please send a doctor
I am from perfectionists
but they haven't  fixed me
and I'm sad that I'm not ok
and it's not ok that I'm sad
I just want to feel something
when I can only feel nothing
why does Salem haunt me
why do witches follow me
and ghosts love me
I just want to feel safe
I just want to feel perfect
i wanna feel ok
  May 2020 Artem Mars
𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒢𝓂𝑒𝒹 π‘œπ’» π’Ήπ“‡π‘œπ“Œπ“ƒπ’Ύπ“ƒπ‘”,
𝒾𝓃 𝒢 π“ˆπ‘’π’Ά π‘œπ’» π’Έπ“π‘œπ“Šπ’Ήπ“ˆ, 𝒢 π“ˆπ‘’π’Ά π‘œπ’» π’·π“π“Šπ‘’,
𝒢𝓃𝒹 π“Œπ’½π’Ύπ“‰π‘’.

𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒽 π“ˆπ“…π“π’Άπ“ˆπ’½π‘’π“ˆ π‘œπ’» π’Έπ‘œπ“π‘œπ“‡π“ˆ,
π“ˆπ‘œ π“‚π‘’π“ˆπ“‚π‘’π“‡π’Ύπ“π’Ύπ“ƒπ‘”.

𝐼 π’»π‘œπ“Šπ“ƒπ’Ή π“‚π“Žπ“ˆπ‘’π“π’» 𝒹𝓇𝒾𝒻𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔,
𝒾𝓃 π‘’π“ƒπ’Ήπ“π‘’π“ˆπ“ˆ π’½π‘œπ“‡π’Ύπ“π‘œπ“ƒπ“ˆ.

π’©π‘œ π’½π’Άπ“‡π’·π‘œπ“‡ 𝒾𝓃 π“ˆπ’Ύπ‘”π’½π“‰.
Artem Mars May 2020
They can separate themselves from their demons
I can’t
The demons I carry around have been my best friends for so long,
I can’t tell the difference from them,
And me
They know when a thought is being placed there from something non-human
I don’t
They talk so much it pours out my mouth
The demons say they love me,
So Me, being desperate for love
Accept them
Then I follow their rules
- eat little- sleep none- cry always- tears never
And so many more
I’m no longer self-regulated because I'm no longer myself
They swallowed me
Since I can’t tell the difference between us, I willingly gave myself up
Traded myself
For a monster
That only brings others down, or drags me down, to lift others higher
They have become me
They are me
There Isn't a distinction anymore
There isn’t a red font to tell me what ideas to avoid
Because I don’t avoid any ideas at all
Nothing is off-limits, they tell me if I see a thought,
Take it
No matter who it hurts, especially if it hurts me, if you think it, you can do it!
They tell me
You only live once
So they make it hell, but only to prepare me for what’s to come,
They’ve convinced me they only have my best interest in mind, I let them make walls
To protect me
a lil poem about my brain
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