Your eyes are calling me,
Don't say, just stay.
There's nothing to do,
A midnight will be soon.

But one thing you should know,
I don't fit almost nowhere.
I wanna know so hard,
Is there anyone with pure heart.

It's up to you, but
Don't be scared, just stay.
So wonder with me,
Is there original human being.

With me, you're safe.
You can be all what you are.
My eyes won't be closed,
My heart will be warm.

So how many thoughts can one have

all at once?

All at once

my eyes close

and my mind drifts

to open shores


Fly!

My beautiful daughter

Fly!

Till the end of the day


For if time comes

and you receive thy chain

free to fly never again you shall be.


Pardon my view but I have lived through too many

and know nothing new.

Why must I feel the way I feel?
Want to wake up but this nightmare is real
Too many mazes clouding my brain
Swirling in circles driving insane  
Poor judgement leading emotions down hazardous roads
Lugging regrets like oversized loads
I worry
Stress over nothing at all
Convince feet I'm destined to fall
Tripping over thoughts I create
Actual obstacles don't get in the way
Self-sabotaging before having a chance to fail
Sink the boat BEFORE setting sail
It is better to know you're a loser than be unaware
Best get used to being alone because others won't be there

I lay,
Soft head in soft pillow.
Floating.
Fabric against porcelain skin.
Heart spread wide open.
Floating.
Gentle stream filled with warmth,
The hush of one thousand voices
in my mind,
Silenced.
And even through the ceiling is dark,
I can feel the gentle warmth of the
Sun
above.

Nothin I do but sit here and stare
Contemplatin all of my fears
I miss my grandpa in unimaginable ways
Fearin how he would respond to my ways
I sit here and stare at your gaze
I wish I knew how many days
We’re left so I knew my fate
And I wouldn’t be late
I’m sorry for all the apologizing
Ima hypocrite but I won’t admit it
I hate people who lie to themselves
But still can’t find myself
For all the times my moms been hit
And I didn’t do nothin
Wishin one of these days I’d get my wish
I think the lamps is broken
I’m a ******* and I know it
But I’m not gonna change
And as long as I say I’m not a hypocrite
Then I’m not right?
Wrong
**** this song
**** all the things Thas wrong
My life ain worse but it’s never been good
I guess that’s why I’m misunderstood
The stars the only ones that help
To bad the future covers them up
It’s been a long time since I seen her smile
And I bet she better off without
I drove her away what a surprise
To many things keep me up at night
I wonder when my brother will pop his last
Yesterday it was ketmanine
Today it’s sum xans
The bloods mixed with the alcohol
I wonder if it’ll be my downfall
Only time I feel sane and escape
Is when my lighter shows it’s flame
And I purchase a one way ticket
Across the nation
For 10 dollars I have my cheap vacation
Nothin lasts as long as you want
Hopefully in two years this gon stop
Hopefully this poem will end
And I won’t relive it to the end
I don’t wish for my own death
Just to go to sleep and not wake up
Cause maybe some peace will come
I drove her to drugs and I know it
I left her but I couldn’t help it
She was to blame
I was to blame
We both know it
Moms moved on
Sobriety seems to be helpin
But she always relapses over somethin
The coke stains still on the mirror
“Do as I say not as I do”
“Do as I say not as I do”
“Do as I say not as I do”
How many times till I’ll move on
I wish I could write songs
And be like all those that help me
But I’m not that lucky
I’m not that lucky
I’m not that lucky
Hopefully I’ll live to be happy
Hopefully I’ll have a family
So I don’t ruin it
And have somethin to live for
To all those that worry
I’m not contemplating
If I was it’d be to late already
I wanna drink so I’ll tell myself the truth
It is what it is
My thoughts carried in soot
Carried till I kick the boot
I wish I was a doctor so I coulda save ya
No shame in the ones that’s broken
I miss my bestfriend but she’s better off
My girl don’t know half of my problems
I called god hopin he’d pick up
I’ve sent him the messeges
Maybe there stuck
In transit I sit in traffic
My mind sifts the past tense
What memory will haunt me today
The interrupted last phone call
The one where my sister was off k
How bout one from the other day
I popped it only cause I wanted
“Sigh” i don’t know
Settlement?
What do you do when everybody’s trippin
Stay sober and wait for them to finish
No, get high and forget your problems
Don’t ever admit them
Just forget it
member them times I told you I loved you
Just forget it
Where he at, did he forget it?
A call every two weeks don’t do it
A call every two weeks don’t do it
A call every two weeks don’t do it
Don’t ask how I’m doin
If you cared you would remember
These memory’s stick forever
You were lucky to be drunk
I can’t forget it
I can’t forget it
I won’t forget it.

I am not sorry for anything
There were problems easy to see
That's why I am letting you know
I am not even sorry for me

I think I know these people
When they are only real to me
Because I made them alive
But only in my head
When their memories started to fade from mine
I put them onto paper
I made them characters
They made me feel safe
Like I wasn't alone
But I was, and I didn't know

I think I know these people
That I see in my daily life
But when I look at them
They all start to fade away
Because these people are not who I think they are
They are people that I never knew
Because I never bother to hear their story
When I was so caught up in mine
Turns out every person I thought I knew was a lie

I think I know
When someone is sad
Or they are hurting
But I just look at them
With a saddened look in my eye
And walk away
Waving goodbye
To the people I think I know
The people who know everything about me
Know every detail right down to my soul
When I don't really know them
Because I am so self-involved