Totality escapes beneath me, all that I’ve left unexplored collapses unto me.

Triggered, by self centered inundation, I might as well be gone.

For what do I provide the collective? But neglect and self indulgent plunder.

Relive this aeonic cage, cyclic and persistent. Yet each existence we reach a new peak.

So benevolent, and elegant. I need to relive samsara to fill my void.

Be meaningful to others. Because I do not matter, what I do matters.

Momentarily, this escapes me, shameful and foolish, I must regain such tonic insight.

It combats my abysmal fear of inconsequentiality.

I’ve reflected in infantilism, however I think I’ve found what guides us to actualization.

At least myself anyway, I need to mean something to others.

I need to teach and learn from my peers, whom I overlook as of now.

How myopic and repugnant. White from shame I apologize to those who’d listen.

I open my arms to all. Let me help, show me how to help.

Did you know someone's proud of you?
That someone finds you beautiful inside and out?
Did you know someone loves you for who you are?
That you don't have to feel ashamed of your scars?
Did you know that you're enough? That you're strong?
Even through the computer, I can see you crying, saying "you're wrong."
But I'm telling you these things because they're true. Even if they're not true now, they will be.
Now say it with me.
"Someone's proud of me."
"Someone finds me beautiful, inside and out."
"Someone loves me for who I am."
"I don't have to be ashamed of my scars."
"I'm enough. I'm strong."
One more thing. "It's okay to tell my story."

pacify me
hold me until the sun rises
blood orange over the horizon
tell me i'm the only one
as if i didn't know
bury my fears
as deep as my head on your shoulder
hold me closer
closer, closer

It's hard to live for the moment when you're dying by the second.
It's hard to dream about the years ahead when you know that someday, it will all come to an end.
It's hard to talk to people when you're secretly afraid of your own shadow.
It's hard, but if you find something that makes you happy, you'll be amazed how much you grow.