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i suffer through restless nights
sleeping upright, feeling uptight
i dig my nails into the bedside
casting curses into the twilight
you might then find me among those fools
who walk the streets between dog and wolf
but there are devils in the detail
sprites that hide between the cracks
i pour over concrete slabs to find
their bright eyes peering back
and if i find them we might speak
and if we speak we might agree
they might agree to let me sleep
and i might let my demons be
i’d step on your neck at the best of times but
i wish you the best of luck with the rest of your life
break a leg, hit your head, break every bone in your body
though i hope you make it out alive because i’d hate to feel sorry
i hope roses by your bedside would suffice for a goodbye
i hope we never have to speak for the rest of your long life
break a leg
suffocate through conversations
like drawing blood from a stone
misplaced faith in constellations
broken hearts and scattered bones
erase the faces, names, and places,
allow those distances to grow
forgive the people that i need
forget the people that i don't.
lest i tire of living alone -
take my hand, and read my palm
find where my falling star may land
i will comply with guiding lights
if i may find a better life
we sat in separate rooms for the best part of our lives
learning to talk through the floorboards,
shoot daggers through open doors,
hold my breath from upsetting the dust,
trust that you'd do the same.
i never knew how to help you
you never knew that i wanted to
we felt unwelcome
living in a stranger's home
for the best part of our lives
i caught myself digging up old friends
as if i need to see their faces again
i went away and i stayed the same
you lay there and withered away
maybe there's better meadows
to bury these bones beneath
decomposing, roots grow slowly
you could help push the daisies
foul weather friends creep in with the clouds
misery keeps company on the inside looking out
    “i’d pull all the teeth from your open mouth
before i’d ever let you frown”
it's all gore from here on out
heavensent friends descend from the clouds
hiding fangs behind kind hands
you can hardly hide your smiles
    “i’d rather see the frown torn from your mouth,
than ever think i’d let you down”
friends from above, keeping me from looking up
i can’t ever be like them if i don’t learn to stomach blood
    “you could be happy, smiling with all your teeth -
but then why would you need me?”
wading through the faces as they fade into the portraits
swallowed by the room of fresh pressed funeral suits
cold eyes boring holes into the back of my head
all the boring jokes i've told to best dressed mourning guests

the rest, my best guess
arrived to celebrate your death
no one thinks to bring flowers for the living
april showers bring may flowers
but you pushed daisies into my hands
when you're left holding the bouquet
you won’t stop to smell the roses
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