i still dont know why
why i love you so much

So i became an addict
Drug addict
You were my drug
And you were my end.
Everytime my lips touched yours
I was a step closer to the death
Everytime i breathed near you
I was left without a breath.
I still feel your lips on mine
I still feel your smell on my neck
I still feel your hands on my head.
And i still feel the loneliness
That i am feeling from the night you went away.

theres this girl
she always feel alone
its like she wished
she was never  born

she always get bullied
but she didnt expect that someone will stand up for her

he's always there for her
they laugh together
and she think she feels happy
first time in forever.

she let go of the knife
because shes already having the time of her life
she also dreamt about becoming his wife

but another girl entered the story
and the new girl tries to steal the guy from her
its like her life now is full of misery
a misery she'll never forget,  no more glory.

the guy left her, and slowly, and slowly
she's alone again, she's again full of melancholy

after days
she tried to stay
at the back of the room
when she left, she saw the guy
and the girl... fighting.
the girl was begging the guy to stay
but the guy said no.

she had a chance to follow the guy
she grabbed his hands and hugged him
she asked him what the problem is
he said nothing
but she know there is something

i want to know why you left me
she asked
the guy looked at her with a concerned eyes...
and she heard the words she didnt expect to hear..

i did that to keep you safe from harm, because i love you.

and the sadpart is...
thats the last word she heard from the guy

and they never get to get along again.
maybe thats just life...
full of pain.

i know that would happen
but i end up tryin
now look, im all in pain.

im like a feather
flying and scattered
anywhere, and everywhere.

i dont know why
but right now all i wanna do is fly
maybe to be free
and maybe to feel and see
what freedom looks like

its funny how i can only write this
when im feeling down like this
and its funny how no one will
ever be able to understand
how i freaking feel.

my mom told me to explain
so i did, i explained every pain.
everything, but she didnt believe me again.
she said she knows im lying, im insane.

im telling you i was telling the truth.
but no one believed me.

she gave me a second chance
she said explain everything and tell me the truth
i just sat there
not even looking at her
she shouted im only gonna say that once
so i gave her a glance
i didnt bother to speak
for what?
even tho
i'll explain everything, the truth
she still wont believe me.

im over it, cause i said my sorrys
she said her sorrys too.
but still, i felt miserable.
cause *the one who i thought would always believe me
just told me that no one will believe me.

there was once this girl
she loves ice cream twirls
and she loves it when her hair is curled

she loves the color black and red
one day, blood stains shed.
her mom found out
all she could do was pout

her parents told her to explain
explain all the pain.
she explained everything, but again.
no one believed her, no one understand her.

they didnt believe her, no one does.
she cried, and she tried to be strong thus
her parents are mad.
while there she is sad.

she didnt really did it in purpose
she surely said the truth
but still, no one believed her.

and what hurt the most is when her parents told her that
"say anything you want, no one will believe you."

i feel so happy right now
do you wanna know
the reason?
well, its not about the season.

its about for those person
who send me tons
of messages.

showing care.
your messages make me think that i live in fairytales

because in reality
my life is such a fail.

nobody cares about me
well, no one shows me that they love me.
they make me feel so useless.
thats why im hopeless.

thats why, thankyou for the messages!
i am so grateful!

I love you wonderful.