i always associated the colour scarlett with a brightness.
the love of valentines day or the blush filling one's cheeks on a chilly saturday.
scarlett meant life to me,
and i never thought it'd represent opposite.

scarlett was love.

scarlett was a heart shaped box of chocolates,
the sparkle of fireworks,
a can of cranberry sauce on thanksgiving day.

scarlett was optimism.

scarlett was a thank you card,
a bright balloon at a birthday celebration,
or the painted lips of a woman on a first date.

scarlett was never meant to be pain.

scarlett wasn't meant to be a sharp bracelet of numbness,
a sleeve of anger that melted into the floor,
or the cold emptiness that accompanied silver.

scarlett wasn never meant to be anger.

scarlett wasn't meant to be the screaming i hear in my head at night,
the holes in the door,
or the deep stain of aggression falling against my knuckles.

the first syllable seems to fit too well nowadays.

You can’t stand to see me.
It’s okay,
I’ve put it
Away
In the locket I keep
Deep in my heart—
The chains
Scraping my lungs;
It’s why I can’t speak.
It’s okay,
I hurt you
And you hurt me
And it’s okay.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Please do not let your significant others
Keep you from talking to your friends
Because our time on this earth is limited
And we need all of the people we can
To live our days as if they are the last.
By shutting me out, dear,
You are taking pieces of my life.

“Don’t ruin my artwork”
He said to me when I was still his canvas
But he grew less fond of my colors, now dull
My blues to greys
Fading away
The white washed over me
And I was no longer his masterpiece

I get lost in my own words
don’t know where I end and the character begins.
Writing to keep the ink from spilling
the blood in my veins flowing.
Wishing that time would start slowing.
There is so much to do
so much time to sleep
so much time to fill
knowing that it is time to
replace the silence
and speak the truth.

I was a wobbly little girl
Tortured by my devil
She chased and chased me
Hunting me down


Criticised my success
Laughed at my victory
Shortened my smiles
Prevented my laughs


My first tear
My only snap
My loudest sob
The whitest flag


I cried for help
there she was
I called emergency
there she was
I raced to school
there she was
I ran back home
there she was


Darkness flowed through her veins
Jealousy kept her running
Black magic empowered her
Sorcery concealed the naked


my head ******
my hands tied
my face torn
my vision blurred


Now she shoots and shoots
and shoots right through me
She strikes and strikes
and strikes up my smile


Protected by my love
I realised right then
I tried to die once
Never again.

Tell me I’m a star
At least that way
I won’t feel bad
For burning out

It started with a hug
years of desire and affection
summed up in one simple
heart warming gesture.

Foreign sensations
a little fumbling to find my Mark
we fit right in.

Perfect opposites
the Lark and the Owl
Cold and Warm
the Neophyte and the Teacher

Forgotten fears
and new found peace.
We must meet again.

sometimes I find it hard to talk to you
so I make lists in my sleep,
of something I could say.
but still I come up empty.
what is it about you?
I can’t live with you or without you.
every single day, I sit in my anxiety.
trying to find a way to say anything.
won’t you remember that I’m your baby?
and if you give a ****, won’t you not leave me?
you’re the one I’ll always choose,
please be mine and don’t waste my time.
love me for who I’m meant to be,
so won’t you please give me something?
because sometimes it’s hard for me to talk to you.