#anxious poems on Hello Poetry

silvervi Jan 2019

Anxious

To lose yourself
Is scary

As not to know
The way

You see a million directions
And you're afraid to choose

You're overanalyzing
Lose touch to any feeling

You're transparent like a ghost
There's no sense in your existence

You see no sense at all.

Like a trombone
The sound of pain in mind
Your brain gets hurt
You're stuck

Can barely breath
Why breath at all?
If you're a ghost

You're scaring, hurting others.
What a shame.

Who will be ever able to love you?
It mustnt be true, it must be a game.

It's a process though. In darkness you can see the light even better, even if it's a tiny spot somewhere far away. Keep holding on to it.

#losing #mind #afraid #weak #worry #anxiety #anxious #fear #insecurity #confusion

Astral Jan 2019

Talking

I hate this feeling,
Deep inside my gut,
That makes me feel like bleeding.
I wish my mouth would shut.

That when I want to look,
My eyes would turn away.
And then when I feel shook,
I realize its my fault, I should pay.

#talk #worried #anxious #shook #fault #feeling

Javanne Jan 2019

Out of Reach

I know you're sick of this
Sick of this
Confounding admission of
Frustrating nothingness

You wait with baited breath
For my mouth to open
My tongue to unfurl into
Something, Anything

You see glimpses
Of mouthed words
But you never learned to lip read

So you try to cut my tongue
And douse it in stimulants
And for a moment
It wiggles and
Lets out a pitiful cry

however it flops over
Before rolling back and
stiffening

I know you're sick of this
Sick of this
stillness that emits
A raging flurry of emotions
That if you had your way
Would explain
a lot of things

I know you're sick of this
I am too
But saying anything
Destroys everything
And I'm scared
To bare and lose
What this is
Between me
and you

#poem #poetry #anxious

nja Jan 2019

Quotidienne

Stinging morning coffee bliss acompanies the first cig of the day,
It’s all downhill from here.
Does normal things Goes to lecture
Lunchtime sugar low.
Self-destructive tendencies itching,
Beer kick - gets drunk.
Being constructive is crushing.
Goes to lecure
Mind numbing normality
Home.
Fearful of loneliness and needy, go waste some hours.
Its late. Restless.
Stoop on the street,
with friends. Anxious, ill.
Wasted night.
Collapse into a shallow sleep of self-loathing.
Zombied.
Repeated offence.

An acurate describition of my daily university life. Evident is my dependency on drugs and my fear of being alone. Both loneliness and 'mind-numbing normality' are perceived as a threat. The title comes from the french word for daily life to accentuate the repetition and spiraling.

#normal #loneliness #needy #late #restless #anxious #drugs #wasted #zombied #repreat

empty seas Jan 2019

i don’t want to hurt myself for someone again

i just
have to
breathe
in
and
out
and tell myself
it’s okay
to not want something
it’s okay
to not please everyone
it’s okay
to feel emotions

i don’t have
to sacrifice
comfort
to make someone else
happy

one of my not-very-close friends is here in my house spending the night and I really really don’t want him to be here because they can be super clingy and I really don’t like it but I don’t know what to do so I’m just hiding in my room

#friend #anxious #anxiety #alone #breathe #sacrifice #uncomfortable

Eleanor Sinclair Dec 2018

To tell you the truth, I'm lost

See there's a life I live in public
and one a little more reserved
The first makes me feel sick
the latter more preserved

We wear a mask that we sometimes share
wondering what face to show
One used here and one used there
questioning where each should go

Perhaps there is a compromise
in this hellish seeming turmoil
I forgot... I got lost in your eyes
as it moves from simmer to boil

What to do about such a complex issue...
What if I stood in front of the world and attempted to kiss you?

Mon ami, I'm hopelessly and irrevocably in love with you

#love #lost #worried #empty #confused #anxious #sad #hurt #angry #lonesome