one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.

He told me we were hanging out with a group
but he came up to my door alone
said the others couldn’t make it.

I said okay and we went to the moonlight playground
as he poured ***** down my throat.
my body was urging the poison back out
as I cried. I ran and I sprinted
but the fence seemed enclosing
I was stuck in a nightmare all I had were the stars.

after that night I didn’t like stars as much.
alone I lay there in the wet brown grass
rain joining my teardrops I couldn’t see
I couldn’t scream. When I thought it was over
people started looking at me. they thought
I was the ***** and he just hit it and quit it.

Haunted by a vampire
draining truth down my throat
I lost all pieces of myself
offering my roaring willpower to him

the sweat of his touch infiltrates
my defenceless skin
but I didn’t scream
his ****** hands dragging as if I were *** on wheels.

and one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.

Fill your lungs with air, they say
These black fireworks are getting closer
Crawl around, it's fun, they say
The slower I move, the deader the knot gets
You're dizzy, shadowed, they say
Apple after apple, only glowing poison

You'll see, you'll see
You'll want to someday
But all I want is out.

White and gold horses.
Gracefully gallop away.
Ripe me is set   free.

Down, down, I was ****** into the hungry ground
Enclosed in the darkness on the other **** side
Phony pavements descending as I strolled
Reoccurring things are ticking away
Every catch is a save
Slowing the freezing and all
Silence dominates my will to say stuff
I’m not supposed to be here, cover me away
Obliged days have sunken me solid
No one told me how to exit this game.

Flickering candles of promises, not enough
Being a spectator of these everlasting black fireworks is tough
Beams of convergent love reached an end
Smoky shadows still follow me in ways I cannot comprehend
Being the victim of unrighteous pain, I rebuff.

Round and round but no left no right
Rotation is no escape
Blood from the war stained us head to toe
My only treasure, I tried to prevent a scrape

Principles of decency were cancelled
Regardless guilty or innocent, was horror enforced
We scrambled past, two starved mice
As the hunt was relentlessly endorsed

But what didn’t survive the struggle for life
Was my lovely wedded wife.