Aaryn Dec 5
I think
I make friends
and love
only because
I like to watch the blood flow from my wrists
to the ground
well
even though I had nothing to cut with
my body still bled
and I think
that bleeding
will **** me
Aaryn Dec 5
If I hadn't met you I'd be dead
I told you I was living for you
And you left
why am I still ******* writing about this
Aaryn Nov 30
it's destructive
it's painful
but slicing into my skin
every time I want to write a word down
is the best pain I have ever felt

Maybe this bleeding
isn't bad
and I'm getting rid
of all the pain

But then
I don't know when to stop
The song "Chlorine" by twenty øne piløts is all about how to write this way you have to be in a bad place and sometimes the addictiveness of the sorrow pulls you deeper and deeper and the writing isn't an escape but just another door back to our dark places... I see this in myself all too often...
Aaryn Nov 30
you aren't going to win











no one                 guesses











what terrors                     lay behind                   my       eyes
















because                             I hide










behind           this          smile
Although if you really look
when I'm alone
the game stops
Aaryn Nov 29
is         it a     sin to    love
if     your           heart is      torn from your        



chest
Aaryn Nov 24
today my therapist
said I looked happy
she didn't know
about the fresh bleeding lines on my thighs
or the broken spirit I can so well hide

she didn't know that my world was breaking
because I'm always faking
a smile
a laugh
any emotion at all
it all hurts

everything hurts
I can feel my veins pushing through my skin
screaming to be freed
and I free them
and pull down my sleeves
and hide

I've been hidden for so long
I feel "normal"
and even though its horrible
I thought that harming myself
was a standard method
to cope

but unlike me
the people around
feel calm and sound
most don't get washed up on shores
of death and destruction
by endless waves of emotions

and most
don't believe the best way to cope
is to set your blood free
and to give up your hope.
Literally did this in 10 minutes and it's a mess but I had to get this out of my head...
  Oct 25 Aaryn
imperfectwords
i glance
at this
clock because
this block
will never
stop
oh how
i hate
this frickn
clock that
only ever
shifts when
i dont
stare and lift
my hands
to my
head where
these thoughts don’t
fit
oh my ***
where is my
sanity
all i have left
is profanity
i need to
purge myself
of vanity
and
focus
focus
focus
on this clock
that prevents
me of thought
oh what i
would give
to not
live in this
twisted plot
where tears
fall
and fears
stall
and ears
hear all
they should
not
but i cry
nonetheless
maybe if i
die i can
finally shed
the stress
against the wall
here we
go
i sit and let
the demons
call
call
call
my name
to play
their game
but i cannot
blame these
voices give
me the
shame
for what i
create in
this ******* up
head
only adds
to the dread
that follows me around
invisible and
without sound
but still
it drives me
into the ground
what would
happen
if i drowned
in this misery
oh why do i
try to find
victory when
all i ever
win is
self-inflicted injury
another
cut
cut
cut
makes me
feel somewhat
at peace
nevermind the
blood but
the marks might
draw attention
gotta cover
up not to mention
lie
lie
lie
im alright
didnt sleep
last night
im just
tired
tired
tired of
this fight
that just might
end me
what will
come free my mind im
floating at sea
calm breeze
my
thoughts tease
me
hope flees
and again i am
left to sit
and grit
my teeth
as class continues
i want to
hit
hit
hit
my head
against
the wall
the bell
sends me
into shock
i glance
at the
clock
as my body
begins to
walk
walk
walk
out of this
hellhole
I have worked
hard for
this
freedom though
i know
it will go
as i return
for school
tomorrow.
(altered for public consumption- profanity  edited out)
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