This life is a dream that has no end, beginning
With all of the loss I've had, somehow I'm winning
I stood at the station waiting for your footsteps
But somehow I found myself on a moving doorstep

Heading out west, it had seemed the only answer
The story my mind told was that I am a chancer
I stepped off the ledge that had long been the steepest hell
Shedding the skin of my past like an empty shell

I can't go farther when I've now gone all the way
So, I guess that I'll stay.

The words that I wanted from you back when it mattered
Come spilling from your mouth to me now where they shatter
The irony is; there's no bliss or a kiss they deserve
I cant feel the pain, there's no drain from the break that I've cured

When I turned my back and left you fading in the distance
I failed to make space with the time leading up to this instant
I laugh to myself as it seems we were always here
The one difference now is that I could not lesser care

The world keeps on spinning, but I'm stuck in some old place
It circles around as I stare into Karma's face.
No need to fear counting years, as if time is a race
There's no out of bounds, lost or found, like a cloud up in space

I'll see it again, theres no end, rounds the bend in full circle

I drive, so that I can feel like I’m moving
So that the thoughts that pace the mind-
Can race with the trees and the houses
And fall with the rain and the hail.

I drive, because sometimes silence is unbearable.
So that stillness that widens the space for emptiness-
Can be disrupted by the whistle of the wind
And bound by the lines on paved roads

I drive, because my body sitting stiff doesn’t function
So that my eyes can focus and hands, finding work-
Will operate without questions of their use
And know their success with every turn

I drive, because I want to be alone, but not fully
So that there’s knowledge that the world continues to breathe
While my thoughts are still mine (on the inside)
But can think in perspective of everything living.

I drive, because I need the motions to justify emotions
So that there’s not a feel of entrapment or ownership
Of anything and anyone that comes into my life
So that I know I am moving, and that I am free.

I drive because I can't sit still,
I don't know who I'd be.

The girl with the paper heart
Stood upon the hill and thought
"If I stand tall from up real high,
The wind will take me to the sky!"
She waited there for just a breeze
To whisper, lift her to the trees
And blow it did, a hefty whooooosh!
That sent her rolling into a bush

But up she stood and to the hill
With just a scrape left from the spill
She studied the branches softly sway
And waited for a breeze her way
And fast it came, a strength so grand
She swirled up high and crashed to land
Bent and twisted, swaying to a stance
She thought of taking one more chance

She approached the hill and climbed the *****
And once a top she laid her hope
And closer, near she heard the whistle
She let it go her heart without dismissal
Then up she flew, and down she swayed,
Before she was swallowed by the Bay

To the girl with the paper heart,
The love you crave was false from start
The wind alone can not be trusted
To take you to the love you lusted

Don't give it all away so fast
You'll find that kind of love can't last
You'll learn in time, the complex art
Of building up a stronger heart
One that doesn't scrape or twist
Or drown into a deep abyss

The heart you want will have a beat,
And keep you dancing on your feet
So take that paper heart at last
And keep it as a lesson passed

Notice a regimented city full of ants
Where shoulders rub without a glance
And never do bowed heads look up
To notice men with trembling cups
To see the sky, and admit its worth
Embrace our helplessness from birth
Invisible chains brace personal spaces
To widen the gaps from race to races

Moving back and forth, Up and down
We scour the maze for gains to be found
Blinders on, we tunnel our way
Never stop to talk, it creates delay
The troubles of others are theirs alone
Emotions cause chaos, changes faces to stone
Be the best for yourself, climb to the top
And stomp on the heads of the weak who have stopped

But who will be there when your limbs give out?
When age leaves you breathless, unable to shout
When illness takes over and you can't quite recall
What it was that you climbed for, was it important at all?
When the money and materials you collected so dear
Gather dust on a shelf without one which to share
All your life you have strived to reach top the hill
And you finally get there, just to feel unfulfilled

Take a look around now and notice this place
Take the time to stop and study each face
Always keep your dreams and aspirations afloat
But let others in and let love be your boat
Empathize with others, try and feel what they felt
You never quite know the cards they've been dealt
The key to success is to take notice of grace
We are not working ants, we are the human race

If I stumbled upon you on the street
I would have nothing but good blessings
For you and all you have done
For the life we had once, as one

I hated you so long ago,
The hate it disappears, and now
Seems losing you was just the plan
Like weeds, without which now I grow

This world, somewhat melancholy
To the pessimists who don’t know
What truths lie behind the lines
Of what is real and what is.
Feel, give me that, just feel
For one day and see what can
Flourish or fall, but feel all the same

My world, somewhat disorienting
Between the head and the heart
To which never agree on terms
Of what is sense and what is.
Feel, what is right, once thought
For one day I’ll see what can
Blossom or break, but feel all the same.

Your world, somewhat calculating
Between art and history
To which one will never be sure
Of what is great and what is.
Feel, maybe not, but form
For one day you’ll see what can
Create or ruin, but feel all the same.

Peter, someone I admire
After the bad, maybe the first
Of which that I want to know more
Of what is__and what is.
Feel, believe it, and pair
For one day we’ll see what can
Conjoin or part, but feel all the same.

I received a gift from You
Said put it on your tongue
And let the buds bloom under it
More loudly they will hum
Just set it there in bitterness,
Collect the final rinds and wait
As lines that swirl in splendor now
Had at one time seemed straight.

A minute was an hour,
And an hour was a day
A day; another lifetime
I prayed not go away
Laughter rumbled floorboards
Love left broken bed boards
Lights that we would swarm towards
Restless, winged, creatures

Safe behind a window pane, we watched
The night sky coolly whisper, icy breaths
Which formed in fractals, spiny crystals  
And wrapped up in my old fur coat,
We scoffed upon the thought of which that
Anything so beautiful could pierce the beating Heart.
Just gazing out, We longed to pluck the sky of
Glowing diamonds, floating in a cape of silken royalty

But from below the light came creeping
Spite unwieldy, slinking to the ceiling, chaos
Minds quite far from sleeping, barely
Blinking where our bodies stiffly lay.
Exhaustion shuddered eyesight, as the
Pixelated daylight pierced, the dilated
Membranes of our souls screaming in pain.
The heat which kept on rising, swarmed around two bodies writhing,
Undermining was the timing of which walls could melt away.

Now we huddled in the corner where
The brightness could not reach us, so that
Oozing walls could not drip and release to us  
The flesh-eating elixir that on contact steams and sizzles
Away dreams before it fizzles away skin and sanity(s),
I looked to you, but no relief, these thoughts they weighed too heavily
Alone as panic smothered me, I might not make it safely, I said
“Look at what you’ve wasted, see, this place it has a face, and it is radiating red!”

I grabbed the nearest pen, to write
My Will upon the sill, you watched
Bewildered by the spill of thoughts
Now bleeding on the windows, walls
And mirrors- they too feared what
I had geared in ink that seared into
These cavern walls of which we washed away the years in.
Now looking for those marble stairs, with the hope to disappear..

Blind and ******, eyes they looked to you for hope
But felt the desperation float upon you, like
An invitation to unravel once and all.
Epiphany. The world you had created
Had been only weighted by
Your precious need for company.
And in that thought, you handed out the gift to me
No second plot, beyond that of companionship and misery.

Ruined, longing, needing wanting,
Leaf-like fairy decomposing
Watching lit up eyes stare loathing
At the guilt that was awakened.
Once a world pastel and fuzzy, buzzing
With A lovely light that bouncing, wildly
Let sight see beneath a veil of pleasantries.
Up you stood without a single glance behind
you crossed over the final line - from which the gift was given.

I dreamt of you for the very last time
And let my mind accept you once more
A distant shadow, you stood
A grey and cloud-like silhouette
I knew at once that it was you.
A sliver of my heart felt
Heavy with melancholy
But towards you, I’d want not to go
Nor did my eyes wish once to dial
As light breathed through your smog-like stance
And whispered warm and gentle tones
That danced a hymn around my skin
And resting safely on my bones
What warmth awakens life within!
Bouncing light in all directions
To the darkest cockles of my soul
And Its thermal embers melted
A weighted piece that had clung so desperate
Dripped unto the patient upward palm
Downward
      Release,
            Relief,
                Trickled
                     The
                     Very
                      Last
                      Memory
                      Of
                      You.

You that heavily sits in somber
Wondering what it was that Life should put you here
Perhaps just a smudge of black by the Artist
Who hastily concealed your mark with thick pallets of red and gold

I saw you hanging from my last thread
I wondered whether it fate that would play this game
Those hardened eyes bore holes through me
And out poured all the pink & sticky parts
That you caught it in a jar

Cover with a lid.  You watched the fight for air
Bursting up Buzzing, hastily colliding against glass walls
Then Flickering, fluttering, til’ downwards, swaying
It finally died.

You on my last thread, I would never think of such an end
Sudden lightness topples my perch
And fly I would above the darkness
Once I cut you, free.

I used to talk about It, as if I knew It
Whole-heartedly. Ready.
For the Plunge into a blissful splendor
The icy, blue metallic shine that shivers and comes alive!
...but I hadn't realized..
That the flip-fluttering, hands grasped, eye to eye euphoria
Was but a moment.
I hadn't thought much beyond the surface
Of the depth of it...
The Darkness.
The ink-like, curled up shadow that unravels as it waits beneath
So, Wait!
This leap is but romanticized, delirious, and magnified.
Don't break this shallow lens, for it will thrash up and repel
The mirrored, rippled likenesses of you and I
Once skipping on the surface
Now sinking
         Stones
               Below...

Perhaps...
             .....we will float....
                                           Before we settle,
                                           amongst the rest.

Cave into my soul
Rest there, breathless
The world can't get us now,
So help me

Wrap us like strings
Double knot, hold tight
We spin- so that
Nothing has a shape

Speed fast, Stagger
Until we wobble and fall
Erupting into giggles
It was much worth the thrill

Tangled, mangled
Pulled like yarn
We lazily unravel
Nested in the mess around us

Stay, so we can watch
The busy world from windows
Deaf to icy whispers, trying
To lure us away

Rheya raised the heads of many
Hazed the days together
Swept the breeze so easily
And held her breath forever

Rheya layed in green pastures
Always holding out her hands
She swam so fluidly in oceans
Ran vibrantly through sands

Rheya was the brightest star
In our universe
All the boys would follow her
But she was too immersed

Rheya didn’t come that day
We waited in the park
She held her breath too long, they say
When Rheya’s light went dark

What scattered life, has become of me
From the dim and narrow
I open my eyes, deeper and see
That the world is not shallow


The configuration, of what will be
Has assigned me a shadow
That shows me the traces of the past
and proceeds beyond my tunnel


Such a damp cold curse, once tangled tight and burst
Left me a widow
Beating on the chest in bewilderment
For a loss that seemed vital


For His words heaped down like a roman crown just before a battle –
all I once knew,
was now mangled and skewed
as my Empire crumbled


the rise and fall of drawbridges
cant hide what has been won
I used up my only heart
For what- a mere token?


But Seasons changed -
Again, the world seems open -
And then I find that happiness
Is harder than it’s spoken


The Noble queen once said to me,
your time is nearing
What did she mean, I've wondered
will I see the morning?


Let out a shrill unleash of will,
my heart and lungs breathed ill
But your embrace was a stronger lace
Than the substance in this pill


And it was true, I never knew
Of stars to be aligned
Such prophesies, seemed but a tease
For those who lead the blind


You Shine on me like embers
From A glowing fireside
I cannot help but feel in doubt
Of the kindness you reside


How can it be, quite steadily
I feel, as I am sure
That what you are, is not a blur
With sharper aperture


I’m bold and blue –I’ll ask of you
Upon which star you flew
Your trail so bright, sheds me a light
that I have never knew


No fate can quite illuminate
The way it’s meant to be
Can't choose the way in which we sway
Like wind upon a tree


I woke to something beautiful
You laying next to me –
And I’ll project: Eternity.
There’s nowhere I'd rather be


You woke me from a blurry sleep
killed voices in my head
lifted the shade - shed light on this haze
Made living of the dead.


Im not afraid of where you lead
I’ll run away tonight
Darkness cannot haunt my dreams
With you, I’ve found my light.

Let’s pretend the world won’t end
Let’s be wild, let’s be great
Let’s be something- that as a child
We once could relate

Let us hang from branches
Let us swing up high
Let’s believe our dreams
Won't hear a shuddered cry

Let us yell, let us scream
Let his voice control it
Let the punch hit 17
Across the cheek, we sold it

Let us live without one fear
Humor me, I dare

If we are all but a coincidence
Please tell me not, my dear old friend
I'd rather numb this once again
Than feel it in the flesh

I cant look in the mirror
At 25, I'm not alive
I cannot see things clearer
I’m more clouded, more unwise

I’m saddened by the future
I’m troubled by the  past
And as for the Present,
I fear it just won’t last.

My life itself is a shadow
I can't ever leave
A ****** nose, a broken bone
It's memories that bleed

Leave me, but don’t please
I fear I’m not my own, you see
I’m  stuck and built of bone, you see
Perhaps I am not meant to be

My sadness is the world at large
I feel the things I hear, you see
I don’t know what is meant for me
I’m bent, you see, I’m bent

What do I do- its near, you see
My thoughts are barely here, you see
I am not what my best can be, and please-Don’t judge my fragility

I know the actions I must take,
But listen, it's my life at stake
Much harder is to give, than take
-my fear, I cannot Fake

The World is so much bigger, better
Than any of you who doubt that
Existence itself is worthy of life
god forbid it is unpleasant.

Let’s make a name out of this place
And put it on a plaque that reads:
Someday you’ll make the same mistake
But that You can make it better