As a child on a beach
Shoveling moats to the kingdom
And as the waves to the sand
You scooped me up.

My heart is like the shells of the sea
vacant from previous owners,
Wandering lost in undertows,
Trying to find a ground to settle.

Perhaps you want not to own me.
Or drag me down with tides
Maybe you want to keep me…
You might think I’m a treasure.

Just please be careful, be careful with me…
For wealth need not be measured
But if I’m not worthy of your shelf
Throw me back, throw me back
To the sea.

…trust me, I’ll be free.

Have you ever seen roadkill
And think- oh **** did it know?
A fleeting chance and - BAM!
It’s gone.

I think of that a lot.

I think for a fleeting moment-
That poor thing!
Second thought:
How lucky am I?
That I get to continue living.

…But third thought,
hmm…is it better off?
Is that strange?

Maybe.

That’s the course of life.

The catch here is that there is none.
I’m trembling writing this
Because I know I wrote part 1.
I’m just as clueless as you.

The loss, that is true.
The loss of what you cannot lose.
The loss of humanity is eminent.

I’m trying to hold on.
My mind is held in limbo
The lines of truth are blurring
I know I’m not the first to feel this.

You tell yourself somehow
Life. Will. Change.
YOU. WILL. CHANGE
Fear is always plotting.

Yet, here we are
No recognition of what
Or how we can claim
Some sort of relief.

Banging on the walls
Of systems that won’t fall
Doing injustices to all
This is not our home.

I digress…I won’t give up.
And I sure as hell
Won’t let them speak to
Me that way.

My grandmother is a WW2 firecracker
I take in all her knowledge.
Even in her last days
She wishes she got a tattoo
A laced butterfly. I laugh.

She is progressive.
That gives me a sliver of hope
We can break grounds
Move buildings
Make right.

It’s a butterfly effect after all.

Let me lead with “The Catch”
The idea of life unlike we planned
The life that all humans fear
The catch is that it all can crumble.

It is the loss you never thought
A beautiful life stripped from the ground.
Climbing through rubble - confused -
When there, before, was a home.

Uncertainty lies the path
Every stone, every mile, every breath.
To which point is it over?
To where can we now rest?

A hand is worth a thousand
Miles we’ve regressed
With minds that block
And tick then talk,
How can we not detest?

Your birthday, as you say
Is just a ******* day
For me, love, it is worth celebrating.

I’ve kissed a lot of frogs, love.
You are- you. You are (happy tears).
The one that makes me feel -
If the world ends, I’d find you.
Whatever that may be-
I know, you’d find me.
I’m with you.
I’m with you.
I would never give you up.

I won’t wary on any of this
Because we all are going through it.

All I can say right now is…
That I wish I had wings
Something I can use to -
Take me from the wreck beneath me.
Something to show me more perspective.

…
I’m afraid I am absorbing too much
of what is fed to me, constantly.
Through the screen.
Through too much conversation.

shallowing my thoughts.

I am not owned by a God.
I would love to know we have one.
Human remains.
Remains is how they’ll find us.

Mother Earth is so powerful
She will spit us out
If we continue to deny…

The whole truth…
And nothing but the truth…
So help me…

The trees seem fuller
Where you remember
Old Life, old love, happiness.
Why do I feel empty?

The grass rolls with a purpose
Little satellites graze on lawns
Tin roofs groove into hills
… I feel so alone.

You share your world
Like you were a soldier from war
Talking of what was, and, who was…
I listen as a spectator out of frame.

Funny how you thought this trip could
Bring us closer- points of reference.
Though instead of creating new memories,
I’m watching you retrace the old.

I love you, I love you, I love you -
Why does that suddenly lose meaning?
Is it me or is it us?
Is it me? Is it me? Is it you?

Nothing while we walk the trail
You barely speak, I barely feel
There’s no doubt it is beautiful,
But you’ve walked this trail before.

You are as fantastic as you remember.
You led the pack, laid down the law.
You remind me in every minute,
You were King of everything.

I love you, I love you, I love -
I can’t lose this feeling -
As if I’m holding the portrait
Of a life you cannot part with.

You speak of processes -
While I hang on branches - sloping
Heavy from the rain.
Your words beating on my shoulder.

I zone farther away - - -
Focusing on the tapping of the leaves
I wonder - If they were chimes,
What would they sound like?

I suddenly feel an impulse to run.
I don’t need shelter - answers.
To the swirling questions in my head-
What was it again you needed from me?
And - Why am I here?

We are always starting over
The feeling of grounding
Through clenched teeth,
Discouraged.
I’ll clean my slate
And feel relieved
To have arms open.

Happy is a good day
The sun winks
The grass waves
Today, I’m ready.

Tomorrow, maybe, what if-
I don’t pretend to know her anymore.
Tomorrow is forever a dream.

Today is open.

I want to welcome you to chapter 6!
This show has gone on far too long, but wait- there’s so much more!
Let’s recap chapters 1-5:

Racism
Sexism
War
Drugs
Natural disaster

Chapter 6 will cover: Disease

...stay tuned folks!  

(And stay safe folks...
We are all going through this.
They don’t want me to engage,
But we are being torn apart
If I were you I’d love as long as we can
The chapters exist because hate does
End it at chapter 6...chapter 7 is unfathomable).

He was abandoned, again
The boy with no home
Who wanted nothing more
Than to be loved
But what he didn’t see
Was reality

This Shakespearean poet
With only one note to sing
Held his heart out
To the sky
“Love me”

And he was loved
He was also free
But freedom was a fear
He was always bare
Always near, waiting for pain

But did he see light?
The thing he craved
Warmth was given
As he graveled in his cave
He never sought out

Pity was an Achilles heel
Blindness struck his face
With a heart tapping on strings
Wanting, needing, he would wait
For something...

I will stop.
I will live.
I will spread my arms wide
In the wind, and I will thank
The heavens for the love
That comes in pieces.
The parts are reasembled.

Get your head straight.
Love is in every corner.
My distraction never looked.
We have time..
Brush the haze...
Look beyond the gratifying.
Dig, and dig deeper
Catch the roots spilling.

It’s everywhere. Joy!
We share, we breathe, we think.
I think, we are going somewhere
I look forward to the new world.

I can play the victim, I admit.
We all find ourselves in holes.
The hole I’m in
       is the one I dug.
Do you know the difference?

Your blame is like a heavy fog
Or a stranger’s breath upon me
I am afraid to focus
On the heat wave that weighs me

I try
    To let
         It go.

The truth is, I am afraid
I’ve been afraid before you
But this fear is....shedding you.
I need to leave, I need to.
You stick to me.
I shake you off.
But you are there.
I don’t love you.
I know it.
Why..
Am..
I ..
Still..
Here?

I dug this hole myself.

I’m about to break open
Darkness bubbles out, oozes
Like sythetics in a flame
When in the world did I-
I sound like my mother.

I live in a straight line
So far from the circles
I’d trace in the rain
I took a role in society
The gravity of the wheel-
I cling to in desperation.

Blinders make years go by
The toll makes it faster
I’m holding on, slipping
Who are my sisters?
Better yet, who am I?

Technology, the race age
Can’t fight it, I’m caught in it
Contemplate.
But where is the time?
To remind me of better times
I can’t find it, I’ve lost it.

I struggle between the time
And the lack of it
The life I have to earn
And the life I let go
There is nowhere in between.

The joy, settles like dust in my brain
I can’t keep like this, I can’t keep.
My reflection shows the woman I smirked at:
“That will never be me”
But there’s no time to reflect.

It is what it is, what it is, what it is
It is what it is, what I am, what I am
I am...
Clockwork.
6:00am - we are up again.

I pray I will break someday.

Life has it's balances,
So why am I teetering on my toes?
Things feel grainy and old
I’m washed up and done

The words I used to spin
End in frayed uncertainty
scattered like ash on a plate
Killing me, killing me
I don’t care.

There are moments
With the sound turned on
I feel at pace with the world
Before I’m absorbed in black holes

i can’t see with these blinders
But I’m afraid of the view around
Into a cave, my soul goes
Until another day, I suppose

This time around, I will get it right
It only took me through the universe twice
To feel the light wind on the water, brushed softly with the glow from the sun, welcome.
This life is full of fresh faces, warm embraces
Far above the rot buried deep in the crevaces of the past.
The prickly bite of the first frost, no longer brings harm to the hearth of the soul, live.
The mangled branches of a forgotten forest no longer casts the shadow of fear, bringing focus to the candelescent light piercing through the spines of the wild wood.
We can all choose to see the dark in the bewildered gallows of the unknown.
We can see the hollowed darkness of the caves luring our minds away from trust.
But why draw such sinister thoughts of the hidden quarries in Mother Nature’s painting?
Look at the world that only She can make, safe away from the curated structures of civilization. Laws are made by Man, Love is born of nature, Hate is a disease that grows in the narrowest of minds, trying to make reason out of tragedy.
This time around, I will choose the light, because it has always been there, sparkling softly through the cracks, begging us to see heaven on earth.
A smile, a breath of air, and a hope that has the strength to carry us all out of here.

The world is sick.
A sickness that leads towards the sun
A breath of wind, a heap of snow
The sickness has yet been won
Frailty is the beauty of this place
Security is the fear
Bombs they may fall
Bullets they may shoot
Arrows they may pierce
Human remains.

Smitten..
The kindest word to describe
A thought of something wonderful
But trouble that I fear too well

Fear is the boundaries of hell
I fight it like an addiction
I'll fight you, I'll fight
though nothing solves

The thought of you is on my mind
A thought I maybe had before
Are you the same?
I cannot ask you that.

You’ve got a hold on me
My insides, suspended
Discomfort awaits at the slightest turn
Suffocated by your tightened grip
I wait for the snap, desperately
Wanting to unravel
Gasping to the floor
The cold surface lends no comfort
Icy bones rattle and ache
Fighting against your tireless weight
Let go let go
Why won’t you let me go?

Some want to contort me into unfathomable shapes
Some want to put me in a box and make me a keepsake
Some want to bend my thoughts until my mind soon breaks
Some want to lead me down a path then leave and make me chase
For those to come, I warn you now, I can sense it from miles away

My heart grew two sizes too small
Today I feel a little less
And come Tomorrow
I will feel nothing at all.

The eyes, I am told, are windows to the soul
In your eyes, shines endless light.
I see you there with the sun and the sand
With a sliver of fear, comes the night.

Your Blue eyes, they have whitnessed
The cold & darkening side of the Earth.
I see you hide in the corners of your mind
As You watch the worst of Man, come forth

Memories underneath, flash scene by scene
Ink-stained moments that fill every frame.
A tapestry sewn in complex unknown
With a tragedy stitched out of pain.

But with it all, and as clear as day,
Your light is always shining.
The scene goes on, and it plays a song
A melody hums so inviting.

But your Blue eyes have seen such-
A viewer cannot comprehend.
The Invisible wall You hold sturdy and tall
familiarity- barricaded by cement

Your light never fades for the sweetest of heart
Wades in tides of bright shining Blue.
In the surface, your eyes, wish desperate to hide
A world in the deep end of Truth

Though your soul, it remains so intact, I refrain
From the lack of the things no one knew.
I cannot try to stand in the shoes of a man
With the eyes of the purist of Blue.

Casual, like a first name
Like a flame, you'll wither and die away
In a trace of sand with a tide to blame
Keep it neat, keep it flat
Let's keep it just as that

On the ***** of illusion, she leaned on the wind debating its strength. If it were to die, so would she- and then burst into tiny stars, form a Galaxy.

I wonder what it takes to be like you
So blinded by the lies you think are true
In confidence, you strut your ridged plain
Unaware that you are walking on a plank
Fear Worn like sheer took to wind and away

I wonder Are you happy when alone?
Do thoughts of Doubt reveal themselves at home?
emotions suppressed, do they flood the surface
Of the barge you have built to resist
Growing large demons form in a cyst

You stand and call yourself a man, but
Oh Boy, I have met your kind before
Stuck in your ways like a kid on a train
Riding tracks that have no end in store
Oh Boy, you are in for a ride

I wonder why it is you choose not to see
A world as it is, as you are, Just be free
From the armor of ignorance you wear outwardly
Grab at the chance to wash rust from The skin underneath
Your perception like chainmail, linked with deception, traps truth that is needing to breathe

You think you know the lay of the land, but
Oh Boy, I have met your kind before
Stuck in your ways like a kid on a train
Riding tracks that have no end in store
Oh Boy, aren't you in for a ride

Oh Boy, You walk on a bridge made of sand
Hallucinate the belief you've found land
But what will you do when your men turn to you, and you realize you're without a plan
Oh Boy, where then do you stand?
Stuck in your ways like a kid on a train
Oh Boy, you are in for a ride

I'm back and knawing
At the throat of my youth
Torn between branches I've grown
Lifted and then thrown from atop

Dances, I danced with wolves
Howled till the break of dawn
Sorrow when another leaves
Broken when another's taken

I'm here now what, in human form
Will I live to make something
Or will I be just another mistake
We all know why I left, now here

Home: it's a love form that dwells
That never gifted, never sells
Never tries to be more or creates
Now I mourn what I'll make

Repel repel repel
I will make it beautiful
I will try, that is all
I will be, try, make it all

I had moments
The ones you can't erase
Moments with faces
That exist when...
There's no one at all

Change I want, but
I see you everywhere
And I hear your voices
And want to blame you

But I'm guilty too
I took all those tabs
I welcomed the flames
Now I question what's sane

I have moments of bliss
Suddenly fall into the abyss
And I know I'm alone
But they are all here

In the room where I'm alone
but I feel them everywhere
And I shutter at the thought
Of where my mind is headed

I feel them on my shoulders
Waiting for a comic relief
The music sets the scene
And I'm dancing with all of them

They are all you
And I hate them all
I tell them to go
But closer, closer

No.

I apologized to you
I told you that we are free
But, oh the damage
You have done to me

I'm hanging off the edge
Because the pills I take
Never get there anymore
The pills I took before

As directed, and you knew
You knew very well my health
And yet you stuck in my face
Yanked it from my brain

I was never insane, but now
I'm not so sure

Take it, Starla, take and eat
Fly with butterfly wings
I did until I crushed, crash
A heave and a thrash

I thought you would help me
You hurt, you provoked a curse
My being, my blood, my happiness
Flows out of me like a flood

Why? It's not on you, right?
I told you no, I told you no
But now I know

I'm losing myself, and I know it
And running away didn't help
I need solice and balance, but loathe it
I need too stay sane, or else

Moments of life blaze before me
Before moments of pain settle in
I break from the chains so to be free
But unweildly I'm choked by the wind

Where does it end, if at all, am I nearing?
this cycle of woes on repeat
What I've caused, is not worth any healing
I'm kept in such dire defeat

Whom have loved me, I meant to say sorry
Those that don't, I cannot put a blame
My Life chapters; they end melancholy
And the book that I write has no name

A peak is a peak cause' it falls
Awareness waits the other side
And brick after brick, I'll build walls
So that I have a place left to hide

Have everything, say, I have nothing
And I know because I see whats real
You don't know because you'll never know me
And I can't form the words that I feel

The mind is is planted and nourished with the soul
We grow despite ourselves and root deep to the stable ground where it is Safe
Though wantingly, we reach up towards the sky so desperaty I've thought-
Why root outselves when it's the sun we want?
But I have perched on many limbs brazen in the light, to know the sun does fiercely scorch those trespassers who come too close
So down again to land a sturdy mount, and up I look again in wonderment to what's untouchable.
The earth I stand; the medium of two strong forces, safely holds me, where the shallow warmth of light breathes softly from the sky-in the peace I stay where there's solidity of life, from where I kiss the forces in the sky. With certainty,  cradled in my safety nest; a hammock of sand and dirt so restful, gives me solitude to wander into dream about the stars

Harden me with what scares me
It's going there anyway, baby-
Spin the truth so my heartstrings
Pull, all the soul I have left

tug,- a tear, nothing's left here
A Stitch won't fix the mess
Unraveled, unclear, a knot
A mangled heap, I'm bare

Not broken, not bent, unkept
Take it, take it all off, baby
Because whatever's left, is.
I have nothing more to give

Take it from me, because with it
Leaves the pain- and all the more to gain
I won't look back again, those
Listless threads left in the wind

Not sadness, not regret, I'll shed
The poison of that tie, baby
Scary is the thought of staying
tangled in the gauze of your sins

Freedom, unravels the light from within

I could wait here, watching the world spin
Slow dolorous motion, take my time
I don't wish to be at the start again
I'll resist Gravity, if need be.

Heave against waves, I'll choke on the sea
Creatures of all lagoons, levitate me
I am not afraid to fly, but to sink
Drowning is such a dulling end

Break me again, desperate Tide
I dare you halt me with your silly trysts
Against the rocks, the crooked grooves
That tear at my flesh, and sever my bones

I don't want to go home, ill take this
These evils are nothing to my anguish
I won't die upon your plate, foe
I'll bite at your soul, engulfing it whole

Treason is the word of kings
Who fear the end of their reign
Fear gets them there in the first place
Powers are none, when you fear the fall

I don't want to go home, I can taste it-
The cusp of a delicious life
To fail is half the strife, swallow the knife
There can't be another chance

Never it easy to reach for the stars
But I'm not reaching, just fighting
The demons at bay that seem to  
Keep the Forces from going my way

I don't want to go home, I'm halfway there
A stones throw to the -lay of the land
With me. The breeze lends an ear and suddenly-
A favorable lift of the sails

And so, as I know it.
My fight prevails...
I'll tear every wall
In the wake of my trail

...you...
Live in shadows, no one can see
Who you really are, you don't know
And something so lost, finds a way
To tear into the strongest cloths
You make holes everywhere you go

But it's the dark that makes you feel
You can damage all the decent fabric
Of those you had greeted many times
your demons, feather in the dusty room
And settle on untouched beauty

Flit flutter- your inconsistent beat
Makes me want to swat you far
No. I won't **** you. The lies you live
Is a death sentence in itself -heavy...
With a burden that makes you need

Greedy with desire to Hover over flames
Your true kryptonite; desire more, more
light- and too shallow,  you see it all the same
You can't distinguish the true sun
So you flock to the buzzing hollow glow

You find it hot, but never hot enough,
Fore long- BURN- as I'm sure you will
Like that! A flicker, and out! You stagger
You plummet, dissolve, gone so easily.
A remnence of ash too small to remember

What I would say, if I dare
I'd say that life is to be lighter
Death a mere path to something else
That we do not know, et all

Pity on those who think,
But do not know.
Salt on those who know,
But do not think.

Find somewhere in between

Where buds can blossom
Without hesitation, and
Minds can shift -
Without resignation

Let harmony carry our thoughts.

Pursuasion is the worst of sins
For those who slickly speak
In tongues of myth- that
Whisper fictitious whims

Doubt is less and leaning
For those who hang heads low
And talk of maybes and almosts
Without a chin to spare

Find somewhere in the middle.

To know now what You feel
Dont limit powers -where-
In these small hours
We have one life span

Shed upon our small existence
Knowledge and Love
Openness and Kindness
Who knows what is above?

Let's live Life now,
it IS all we know
So let it be, as is
Dream, Create, Learn and Grow

Find something you can give.

The Allegory of the Den, Plato
An old friend who said
Enlighten, Inspire, and See
The light at the end of this cavernous hole

I see so many lights
From within so many holes
I’m beginning to think that
Limbo, is the destiny of Souls

I climb out, and I fall down
I get a taste of sun, before I plummet to the ground
Liberty seems like a reason to
Protest this uncertain existence

But Liberty is a product of
The Man himself who wrote
On a scroll from within a den
And Cursed us all
Repent, Repent

Coiled gleaming, foiled scales
Cross the scathing desert sands
A gaping no mans land
An S shaped slither, Slides
The night quivers as it glides

How the spine does mesmerize
To prey that see those eyes
The fate of a torturous demise,
Dragged around and swaddled
Up up down and swallowed

Evil sounds it makes a hisss
a kisss of death upon ussss
Keeps usss honessst lisssten
Dart to see that armor glissten
Behind yellow eyes to scales so twisssted

Driving through a place
One I've never known-
To tell me yes or no
I just don't choose to listen

I don't care anymore
Caring is for people who
Have something left inside
I'm done, I'm going to

Shoot on through these streets
Watch the trees turn into fragments
Of light green and brownish swirls
I'm not turning around

There is no back, just forth
I go to these dementions -which
Some may dream about
But sleep, there is none here

The wild world it spins about
Without wheels to train a route
And yes, I love it so I go
But never ask to where I'm going

I'm just going to Gun it
Then I'll find out where it stops

Trailing my past mistakes
Wondering if a heart still breaks
Digging up the wrong-found
Rip it From the ground

Uprooted, exposed and bare
Is there a soul left to care?
Underneath the sheith
I don't want to breathe

I won't, I won't, inhale
I'll play this world to scale
Let it toss my breath
Into an untimely death

Who wants to feel unwanted
Who wants to feel forgotten
Who wants to feel
Jump-This world's a wheel

Do you want to hear "recover"?
Some don't.

I left a world
To go away - away
From everything - even you
With the open arms and big eyes
Yes, you - I left you too

Freedom brings brilliance
It brings fear I never knew
I had - I had it all along
I took it - I took it all

Hard to be alone, when
Alone is small, smaller
Than I've ever known
Away - I go away

Does it even matter?
Pastimes, worse times
You were - wrong
I am okay, clean

Washed of all them
Demons that thought
They knew. They spoke
Like bibles in a telephone game

I changed, undoubtedly
But so did you.
Warnings never hit
From this part of space

Now I feel it.
The blade of your dishonor
Shoved in my spine
In this world, this place

Is no different

I sit upon a stupid stool
And watch the hours flock by
I wonder if, now, I was you
Is this the tick to talk by

Would you be running wild and free
With lovers in your pocket
Now here I am alone with me
A thought, the thought ill chalk it

I see you on the recent post
In Bali- now LA
I'm wondering how can I seem
Enough to look okay

You dance about the wild screen
It seems it took one take
But maybe here In my melancholy
I failed to see what's fake.

I do not know this verse,
Because the moment, now past
Was a memory- I'm not sure of
Am I a narrator or a story?
Is it true, or am I a false witness?
I was, what I am not now
I will be, what I do not know
Amphibious in nature, but tell me
Do you - do you see me as one?
Or do you see me as one of
One of something that was..

I suppose this is just babbled thought
Of how perception is born
We cannot perceive ourselves
Now, there's the thought.
I cannot perceive myself
Therefore I am not.

They shoot with a buzz
Those bullets, do they fly...
Why fly, why fly
When we have wings?
Freedom is a birthright
Love is a choice
Hate is an excuse
Find a voice
Shout to the weather
It will not change a thing
Talk you neighbors
Lend them a wing

Anger is the devil
Hate is the game
But if we stay silent
Aren't we the same?

Fear not a curse
Fear not the angered
Live with a purpose
Not of a hazard

Easier said, it's not
Easy.
Never, poor child
Has it ever been easy
Life is.
Life hurts.
Life slays.
Life is cataclysmic
Chaotic
Rancid
Lovely
Beautiful
Tortured
Precious
Take it, with an understanding that
The biggest fight is within you
To adapt
To find light
Find grace
Find love
Find you

Because you are the only soul
You know in and out
You, are your purpose
Your light
Your darkness
Your regret
Your peace

Do unto others what you shall
Do to someone who also feels -
Like you.
We all have a fighting chance

Insanity, breaks like the waves
Anger flashes like lightning
Hurt stings sharp like sleet
Saddness, hangs in a heavy cloud

Loneliness an empty sky
Silence rests a placid lake
Confusion weighs in a thick fog
Death a fallen leaf

Vitality a summer's rain
Forgiveness in a gentle breeze
Hope forms in a bud
Love blooms in a flower

Freedom in a new horizon
Beauty in a sunset
Peace with the dawn
Renewal with the morning dew

With a cape of darkness, the Moon
Extinguishes the Sun
Who rests before another day- now
Wonder to the starry night

Hold the planets in your arms
Dream of rolling hills and listen
To the wind that whistles...
She says, everything will be alright
Another day you've spent alive
Goodnight, Goodnight, Goodnight
Tomorrow you'll rise again

We all know the type
The type that tells you it's okay
That they will love you anyway
They will always be there
When the love feels like air

You believe them when they say
Words that grow the spark
Hold you tight in the dark
A hand that holds with love
While wearing leather gloves

One day it's fast, next day it's slow
A sudden mystery it feels
It makes you hunt for trails
Of why the sudden love goes cold
And why you suddenly feel old

Outgrown are we? I feel that
Words are shallow holes now
Telling you, you know how
Much I love you in the dark
But it's still black, without a spark
No pushing back, I can't reveal
What it is I fear
For I'm afraid
I'll push you farther away

A little bird set to fly
Away unto the distant sky
Dream little girl, dream
Perched on a wire, with a smile

Didn't the man tell you you'd make it
Weren't you surprised you got this far
Take all of the simple past, and deny it
And stuff it ALL in a jar

Defy the doubts that held you back
Naw at the ropes that tied you tight
Wriggle free and run far away
Tumble like the weeds on a southern night

Find a place of sunny skies and waves
Carry yourself like the free one
Lay your body in the hot hot sand
And tell yourself you've found sun

California coma, what's it mean to be awake
Run your little legs through the waves
Tell yourself you've found it again
Say goodbye to the future graves

Light light darkness
The sun sets in the west, you know
Did you really think you'd escaped
weight creeps upon your chest

Take your dose, little darling
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Your dreams won't sew
The fears you reap

I think I'm going to do it
I'm going off to mars
It's time that I barade this place
And settle with the stars

I think that I would like a space
Where no ones ever stepped before
No damage made from yesterdays
Without a debt to score

I'm bored of all the interactions
Shaped by culture of the times
There'll be not small talk of weather
Politics not argued if never defined

Maybe I'll learn from what I observe
Instead of reading from a screen
I'll void the need to work with speed
With much more time to dream

No one out there to hurt the heart
With words that cut like knives
The constant fear, simply not there
To stop the living from their lives

The silence will be comfort
Where Chaos dissipates
Is mars a mission for mankind
Or a place sought for escape

Sick of feeling
Let's go away forever
Who gives a **** about what's ahead
A dead man never wished to work
I certainly don't know where I'm goin

Who can put a value
On what they have
No ******* clue of
ha. Isn't it funny?

Our world is timed
By the ants that
Work the field
That's all they know

Let's be kind
Let's be free
Because...
Who CARES
No one.

Off to see your Father
To the city on a train
Left me at your cozy cabin
At the end of Iroquois lane

At the time it was long distance
And I'd been here once before
You had told me you'd be quick
Turned around and closed the door

Now alone in your apartment
I had not much there to do
Thought perhaps I'd go out shopping
And I'd bake a pie for you

Walking to the corner store,
I had smiled to myself
Thinking how surprised you'd be
To find the pie upon the shelf

With the sun going down
I got running quickly back
Less cozy was this place at night
Your cabin, now a shack

I peeled the apples, mixed and mixed
And hummed myself a tune
Placed the pie in the oven
Thinking you would be here soon

And to the clock, tick-tock tick-tock
I found myself more bored
Opened your freezer, for some ice-cream
And then found candy you'd stored

I gazed like a child
At this in front of me
For those may not know,
I am weak for Candy

I grabbed a handful of sour-patch children
frozen solid they lay in my palm
I went to the sofa and turned on a movie
Your absence no more an alarm

As I chewed on and savored the sweet little morsals
Watching Pixar's A bugs life
All a sudden the colors grew louder
Pixar's pixels were sharp like a knife

I giggled and giggled,
not phased by the shift
of my boredom
into such sweet bliss

I got up to go out and sit on the porch
An urge to smoke and call your phone
I noticed the shadows of willow trees looming
And suddenly felt not alone

After getting your voicemail,
I paced back and forth
I went in the bathroom
and I laid on the floor

The lights were pulsing
And I started to fear
That the timing was late
And you still were not here

I peeked out the doorway
In search of your car
But nothing and silence
Engulfed by the dark

The TV grew louder
I ran to turn it down
And suddenly noticed
Color trails all around

My knees suddenly buckeled
I knew what I'd done
It was drug infused candy
And I ate every one

My heart started beating
to the floor I was bound
Put my hands out to figure out
Which drug I had downed

I called 10 more times
but your phone had died
I turned on the shower
And sat down inside

Of what I ingested
It was one of two things
Either Acid or Molly
Acid - I see color rings

Then more fear kicked in
And I though of the worst
Had you been abducted
Did they get to you first?

A drug induced rampage
I grabbed up my phone
Called 2 of your friends
Crying you were not home

Then I called my sister
Told her you'd disappeared
You got murdered on the streets
Of New York I had feared

Then you came home
And saw me a mess
Well this was most certainly
A test

I couldn't speak I just cried
You held me, as I lied
I said I was concerned for your safety
You said: I was gone but an hour.

I like being Alone, I think.
With the prospect of new people
Coming and going
Coming and going
Alone, not as dismal
Because Alone in the eyes of fear
Casts quite a different shadow
Fear is unknown, unsettled, unrest
Alone is learning, growing, comfort
But when you let those
Come and go
Come and go
With an open mind, open heart -
Alone, never
You'll never be alone
So, Alone, stop feeling the pity
Feel the strength that guides
A definition to be changed
A meaning to be blissful
On the cusp of an awakening
Alone, we're never lonely
As we know exactly who we are.