you and me not being together,
all the tears
and drunk messages;
you leaving me
and the way your lips
touched hers last week
(you don't know that i know,
but i do);

the fact that i would give you
another chance,
yet you won't ask for it;
craving your kisses, your perfume, your eyes,
your jokes, your compliments,
your messy hair,
your voice whispering
"i can't believe you're here";

getting sick over my broken heart,
knowing i don't have the right
to kiss you ever again
and that you won't sing
love songs to me
anymore

i don't like those things,
i don't, god, not at all,
but i still like you
and i don't know
how to move on

You don't know this yet,
but I'm gonna meet you
in a few days
and on the 13th of December
you'll let me be yours

My mother will hate you
for a couple of years,
but I'll leave the house
i grew up on
just to be next to you;
all the hard work and sleepless nights
will be worthwhile

Sixty months after that,
we're going to get married
on the 18th of June,
and our children will be happy,
i promise

I'm aware of all this stuff
because, twenty three years later,
I'm still in love with your laugh,
your jokes, your rants
and changing moods

I'll always be thankful
for that first conversation we had
eight thousand, three hundred
and seventy seven
days ago

What the hell is wrong with me?

I don't want to care,
I don't wanna feel like this anymore

I can't ask for your help
because i would have
to explain myself,
and that would make it
ten times worse

I should just stop speaking to you,
but you did nothing to hurt me;
I'm stupid and i overreact
because I'm insecure
and, on my mind,
there's no place for me
in your heart

But what if,
maybe,
I'm not wrong at all?

It seems like i won't be able
to tell you the truth,
so I'm writing a letter
that I'll never send...
Stupid, right?

I guess I'm just scared
of my own feelings;
and it's not even that bad,
but i worry about your response

I'm going to confess something
because, as i said,
you won't read this and,
if you don't know about it,
I can be sure
you'll never tell a soul

I've been giving too many hugs lately...
My friends and family are surprised,
but they just take it
as a sign of love

I wish they weren't wrong,
trust me, i do;
sadly, they are

I embrace everyone around me,
even more than i did before,
because I've been trying
to replace your arms,
though I discovered that
it can't be done

Nobody's hugs
will feel as cozy as yours
and the thing is,
I think it's only
because i don't want them to

Actually, i don't wanna be hugged,
looked at, or kissed
if I'm not hugged,
looked at and kissed
by you

The worst part is
that i miss you 24/7
and i can do nothing about it

How could i,
when i keep thinking about you
as the boy who's too good
to me?

So here's what I'm gonna do:
I can't say all of that
to you directly,
I'm an idiot and I'm afraid,
but if you ever read this,
I promise I won't deny
the fact that your name
is hidden behind
all these words

Last month you were walking home
and you passed by a bus stop;
one had just arrived,
it was empty,
but you decided to ignore it

Until you remembered my lips,
my cold hands

After that time, you payed attention
to every single bus in town,
wondering if they could take you
someplace nearby my eyes
and my voice

Because you missed me,
you still do

And finally,
you bought yourself a ticket,
you couldn't wait to see me anymore;
you needed my kisses
and my arms,
almost as much as i did

As i do

You were ready to come,
but then I woke up,
realizing it was a simple dream

knowing you would never take
that empty bus

I should not be allowed
to have feelings
because they make me suffer
from the moment i wake up
until i go to sleep at 2 a.m

i get sad when i text you
(you're too far away)
and i miss you
when you're not talking to me,
it physically hurts

i wanna cry every time
i see pictures of the two of us together,
and when my friends ask me
how am I doing in love
i don't know what to say

how am I supposed to explain
that when you tell me to
dream about you as a joke,
i actually do?

maybe (probably)
you're sweet because it is
in your nature,
it's just the way you treat your friends,
but every compliment
that comes out of your mouth
means a lot to me

i crave the attention
(only if it's from you),
it's not normal
(at least for me)

i cannot (refuse to)
accept that

i think we were never meant to be together,
if you are one of those who believe in destiny

friendship wasn't our thing
but romantic love was too much for you to handle
and i couldn't stay knowing that all i would get was broken promises and an old piece of clothing

perhaps we will have wonderful lifes,
and hopefully, we won't cross paths again

it sounds kind of awful, but is it really?

you brought beautiful memories
but they couldn't overcome the bad

and maybe, if we were meant to be in some parallel time-space
we would have disappointed fate
because even though i was good at staying when i got hurt
you were the best at being bad for me
when i just wanted to feel adored

Did you realize
how close we've got
in the past few days?
Because i did

And even though i hate it,
i never want to let you
grow apart

Whenever you say I'm pretty
or that you miss me,
i can't help
this presure i feel on my chest

I told you i needed you
to hold me in your arms
a week ago, last saturday,
yesterday
and twenty times after that

but, as i said,
i hate it

i hate the way
you make me smile
with a simple "hello",
because I'm scared
of the upcoming "goodbye",
you'll get tired of me
at some point

I don't wanna feel
the way i do,
only because I'm too afraid
of being rejected

I'm not fool enough
to think I'll be able
to forget you
or your hoodie,
but i can try

i have to,
if that's what it takes
to keep you in my life

-savs

there are millions of flowers growing every year, but we're used to pull out their petals one by one, for we think that's the only way to know if someone cares about us.
and i was a sunflower, as yellow as the sun. you carelessly took my petals, not because you loved me and wondered if i felt the same way towards you, but because you **** beauty when you can't handle it.
that's your thing.

Please,
remember that the following things are okay,
specially
when you are not:

It is ok to spend the day
on your own

And it is okay
to cry your eyes out,
even if you don't understand
why all the tears come
from such little things

It is perfectly fine to
clear your mind and
forget the rest of the world

Because, sometimes,
the rest of the world
forgets you too

Although
it's sad to think that
he is also a part
of that world

nat king cole
once told me
what love meant for him
in one of his songs

and for so long
i believed his words,
without knowing
how mistaken i was

he only taught me
how love felt
when it was as new
as a blooming flower

why would mr. cole
hide such an important thing
as the inevitable pain?

so here i am
to show you what love
really means:

"l" is for the way you lose yourself
in your lover's eyes
and, later,
how you lose your grin
when he goes away

"o" is for over,
beacause the end will come,
sooner or later

"v" is very very beautiful when it starts,
but very very sad when it is dead

and finally, "e" is even more scarier
when your realize
you fell for the one
who would somehow
break your heart

nathaniel, you were a big fat liar,
i don't care if you wanted to protect me
from the tragic thruth,
but i will always adore your song
almost as much as i adore the fool
who made me understand l.o.v.e

thank you
for teaching me how to love;
now that you broke my heart
i can go
and give it to someone who knows how to love me
in ways you never could

long days and endless nights
were spent wondering
what was going on

i wanted to believe everything was okay
i needed to believe in us

because you always told me everything was okay,
you said you would fight for me

i was a fool
and you were lying

so now I'm that girl,
the one trying to fix
her broken heart with cheap glue
because she thought she was with someone
who would take care of it,
so she didn't bother to buy
the materials she would need
to put the pieces back together

and i don't deserve any of this,
i know that,
i did nothing wrong

but tears won't stop falling,
and it is because all i can do right now
is think about the day we met
and how perfect it felt
when your lips touched mine for the first time,
even the day you tried to reach my hotel room at six am whilst being drunk has a spot on my mind

and our last kiss,
god, you wouldn't let me go,
we were saying goodbye,
but it was supposed
to be temporary

why did you have to hurt me
and make it permanent?

i was seven
and i aspired to become a star, because my mom had told me that those scintillating bodies used to be people, but they were no longer breathing. "they are looking after their darlings". i heard but i didn't pay attention. i just needed to share their glow.

i was sixteen
and tears drenched my face every f*cking night,
a few mornings too. i didn't understand if i craved the feeling of protection from a thinking sphere of gas, or if i wanted to turn into one of them. i could be a human whose heart stopped working and ended up shining beside the moon.

i am now eighteen,
my life is a little less of a mess and i would so much rather be a star than a person, for i want to make sure I'll be able to look after every loving soul who took care
of my
weakened light.

i didn't want to say goodbye
but you gave me no choice

my kisses tasted
like coffee;
you must be a tea person.