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 2° 
Logan Robertson
I sit at the bar of life
Looking forward to happy hour
Another beer
A solicited romance
Something
Even a bowl of peanuts that never came
How I yearn for conversation
Warmth
I can only dream
Seated a few chairs away
Is a rainbow haired hillbilly
Backpacking possums
Gees
Can you imagine
He said he lives under
The outskirts of ****** land
He smiles
I smile
I catch a bee from behind
As the bartendress walk by
My eyes look at her behind
And catch honey
My claim to fame
Oh how I wish I were a bee
And had somebody
Like the rainbow haired hillbilly
That tends under the outskirts of ****** land
I look over at him
He's always smiling
Maybe it has something to do
With playing a fiddle and finding music, finding new paths
Goats and milk
And backpacking possums
Or maybe its sublime
Oh, how I wish I could smile
Feel warmth
Sunshine
And look into her peering eyes

Logan Robertson

7/16/18
I'm drinking in a sea of lost inhibitions as I write and decompose and I may drown in how this poem is received,  however I don't care.
 2° 
Nobody
I penned a pen bent out of my mind
asylum I seek, and of fetid dreams I reek
silence dreaded, but it seems it's all she can speak..

should have taken my time, but padded cells
they shook us to the core; in our loneliness
we held each other in embrace like no-one
has ever been held before; today I awoke
dizzy; confused, and admitted to another shore
one that swashes in pain; like an ocean of glass
and with each break, her memory shreds my heart like an open sore.

so I slowly begin to wash away the pain,
disaster being; my mind isn't even mine,
and it's always been that way;
even before I realized sanity was just a game
but in the grind of life,
it's a hellish reminder to not have been born very sane.

profusely I beg, and plead; but it's as plain as day,
she's never coming back; so slack, and bleed, and cut as we may;
administer the habitual as I plead and pray--
not to cut too deep; because this life
it's already taken most of me away.
 2° 
Emily Miller
My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Overbearing,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
Loudly,
Unavoidably,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
Pulling,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
 2° 
clementine
slowly falling in despair,
we were never the perfect pair.

i was willing to do anything
but i remembered we weren't even a thing.
you make my heart flutter
whenever sweet words you utter.

tormented by your fake love– i kept it hidden.
unshed tears and pain inside i hid.
sending signs of chaos from within,
the line between us was so thin.

i kept knocking on your walls.
you're the future I crave for and i gave my all
but then i saw you with her and you were perfect together.
just like gravitation belonging to matter and not to ether.
 2° 
My Dear Poet
Your apology was drowned out
by the noise in my mind

I’d have read your lips
but tears had me blind

I tried to feel your words
but I was numb at every line
 2° 
HaleyBoo
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?

It wasn’t letting you go.

That was difficult though, to swallow my pride and wear a smile to hide the fact I’m not okay.

Oh no, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do? Was finally admit to myself the truth.

It was admitting that you were never mine to begin with.
 2° 
Max
She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."
What's the difference?
 2° 
Annie
Ten years and more are not enough
I can still remember
Every torturing tainted touch
that forced me to surrender
Your hushing words, my rising fear
cutting like sharp searing threads
Your very gaze I still see clear
It burned into my head

Once you abused me


Long time I tried to Forget
the paralizing clutch
So long I tried to renounce
your  tantalising touch
But all I achieved, all I obtained
Is a constant Aversion
and irreversible pain

Once you abused me

Now you are gone
And your presence vanished
but the memories have won
Even if you´ve got punished
I´ll never enjoy the love of a man
And I´ll ever avoid intimacy if I can

Once you abused me

You´ve branded me once
turned me inside out
Now I´m wrecked to my bones
But I´ll say it out loud:
Once you abused me
But you´ll never do it again
Dad
Your eyes don't see me
I talk to you and you don't hear me
I can't reach you
A layer of rubber covers you
I would like to tear it up
and yell at you
All my love
All the love you gave me
My pain feeds on
your unwitting words
Fragments of you lost
One tear at a time
Fragments of me torn
Thrown into your oblivion
A crumbling rock
I fight with a sword of nothing
I can't win
I can't save you
I can only love you
Miss you so much
 1° 
Iris
I don’t ever forgive since it was always my fault in the first place.

I asked for it

I needed the punishment

I’m the criminal

No one wants me

Not even I want me
 1° 
Lauren Brennan
The colors of life
Hide the deepest knife
Within the heart of the brightest youth
They bring them flowers
So they hide the last hours
And cower from the truth

The life will be lost
But not be tossed
They shall live in prosperity till their last words are spoken
Though their lives have just begun
They will face the sun
And follow the birds that have just awoken

Watching the world from the sky
It is their time to fly
They watch over us and remind us what is important in this life we hold so true
Even when their name is said for the last time
The sunflowers look to the sky and remember the climb
Each child’s life will be made anew
This is the first poem I have published. I would love any feedback available.
don´t make her love you
if you are going to come and go,´

don´t tell her you´ll protect her
just to end up letting her burn,

don´t make her trust you
if you arent planning on answering her calls,

don´t pretend you understand her
just to get under her skin,

don´t make her show you her demons
if you aren´t brave enough to fight them,

don´t make her fell she is essential
if you are going to walk away,

don´t call to say goodnight everyday
if you want her to sleep when you forget,

don´t make her give you everything just to leave her empty-handed,

don´t make her believe you care
if you plan on dissapointing her,

Don´t make her yours
if you aren´t going to be hers´

Dont make her your bestfriend
if you don´t plan loving her ´till the end
Poem dedicated to the friends I lost along the way and to my fear of abbandonment.
 1° 
Fayre
Oh, sweet boy.

Why did you only love her
when she was medicated?

Was it her that you loved -
or the pills that she swallowed?
“Have you taken your pills this morning?”
 1° 
Apple juice
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy doesn’t care
Daddy doesn’t know
Daddy does care
Daddy knows best
Then why does daddy make empty promises?
Daddy says this
Daddy says that
Daddy buys us gifts
To make up for what he missed
Daddy met a girl
She was daddies world
Next thing you know she replaces daddies little girl
What used to be daddies girl grew up in an empty world
No longer daddies only girl
Daddy left her all alone
No daddy to buy us gifts
No daddy to see his kids
Momma took the blame when daddies girl misbehaved
Daddy had no part in his little girls birthdays
What once was daddies girl
Became a lonely world just a reminder of what used to be daddies girl
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t here
Let it be up to daddies to up and disappear
Daddy says funny things
Funny things about wedding rings
Daddy has a lot of flings whatever that means
Momma and daddy don’t get along
Daddy’s mean to momma when momma does something wrong
Mommas mean to daddy when bills aren’t met
Daddy buys gifts for other girls that’s why we’re in debt
Daddy’s mean to momma
Daddy makes momma cry
Daddy’s mean to momma until sunrise
Daddy slams the door
What was that for?
Daddy went to the store
Why is momma torn?
Momma says daddy has another little girl one to buy toys for one with daddy’s curls
What was wrong with this daddies girl?
Why did daddy decide to give up his whole world
Momma said things will get better
But this little girl turned sour and bitter
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy said he’ll be watching from the front row
Daddy’s little girl practiced every day till dawn
Just so she could show daddy her moves were spot on
The curtains about to rise
I don’t see daddy what a surprise
The shows about to start
Daddy’s gonna miss my part
Daddy said he’ll be there
Daddy doesn’t lie
Daddy will be here in no time
About to go on stage now
There she goes with her little crown
“Why is that pretty girl wearing a frown?”
Daddies a no show
So this little girl turned stone cold
There’s momma in her pretty gown
Too bad daddy isn’t here to see
How pretty mommy can be
What can you do
Daddy doesn’t stay true
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t home
Mommas sitting here waiting by the phone
I’m getting sleepy
But mommas still sitting here weeping
Uh oh what to do
Daddy came home with the reak of b.ooze
What can you do
What did I do wrong? There’s no telling
Daddy won’t stop yelling
Daddy’s getting meaner
Where’s mommy when I need her
Daddy won’t get off of me
Daddy, why are you on top of me?
Surprise surprise
Daddies little prize
Grew up in a web of lies
Poor daddies girl in a lonely world
No daddy to love
No daddy to hug
Just a mean daddy
Who takes off her p.a.n.tees
Surprise surprise
This daddy is no daddy of mine
Let this be true
That all daddies can fool you
During dark times while in residential i discovered the coping skill of poetry and this..this is my favorite out of every piece I bring to life this one takes me and exposes the most vulnerable parts of my Inner being and now I share with you something that holds so much truth.
 1° 
ell
alone I lay,
fantasizing
about who I once was,
who we could've been.
your hand rests still,
clasped in mine.
and for a moment,
at least I can pretend,
everything
is finally
what it once was.
 1° 
David P Carroll
Sadness every day
And it's pain and misery
Today and I used to
Smile so bright now
I cry at night and
Loneliness it hurts
So bad every day
And I'm alone
Today I'm feeling
So scared and
I can't breathe and
My world seems so dark
And my loneliness won't
Just go away
And I'm stuck in
This pain every day.
His Pain In Life.
 1° 
Bogdan Dragos
as a kid
there's nothing
like wasting away inside a tiny
room
sitting on the backrest
of the couch
looking out the window
and seeing her
tread through the rain

a red umbrella covers
her.

Mother

she's going back
to the liquor store
 1° 
Brian McDonagh
You were much more than a church-goer,
Much of your history floated under my nose,
But I realize now and am honored to have known you.

You served in the Navy,
At the Bay of Pigs in 1963.
I also read through the names of people
Who loved you and continue to hold your name in high regard, in faith.

You were a loyal, local church attendee,
You were always willing to volunteer during liturgies.
The fact that you would talk to my parents each week
And, in future years, also becoming my friend,
Showed how much you loved my family,
Which made you family, regardless of the sporadic times my family and I saw you.

I’d always round the right
To walk into the vestibule.
There you’d be, not intending to harass,
But to make me laugh and see
Sundays as a celebration of community
Rather than a somber type of solemn atmosphere.

To me, you are an insignia of St. Leo church
Being one of the first figures I’d link to the parish title.
I also cannot forget how,
When I began wearing ties to church,
You’d wrap the tongue of my tie(s) in your grasp:
“Let’s have a tie party,” you’d chuckle
As I tried mutely laughing back in the sacristy
Where silence was enforced, but you challenged the norm
And went against the tide of rules, remaining true
To your person, being an example for me
As I struggle to, like you, remain true to who I am.

May the halls of everlasting peace
Welcome you, Dan Desmond.
In memory of a friend who passed away this past February.
 1° 
L
you tell me you wish to develop cancer
I hate you for saying that

my mother is dying from brain cancer
and you have the audacity
to say you wish the same for yourself

I pray to any higher being
that you learn how much
you've hurt me for saying that
 1° 
Ashley Jerome
Red were the roses, the ones I left on your casket,
Orange were the leaves, the ones in your tree,
Yellow were the bruises, the ones that covered you head-to-toe,
Green were the stains, the ones left on the hems of your jeans,
Blue were your lips, the day you were found in your noose,
Indigo was the night sky, that night that you died,
Violet was that bruise, the one you wore around your neck
by Alice Thyne, but i can relate so much
 1° 
Ashly Kocher
I never had....

That positive pregnancy test

An ultrasound to see you or hear your heartbeat

Moments of happiness knowing our family was growing

Enjoyment of growing a baby inside of me

I never knew you existed, until you were gone....

I never had....
 1° 
Broken Pieces
On this day three years ago,
                                             I was given up for adoption.
On this day three years ago,
                                             I was no longer wanted.
On this day three years ago,
                                             I lost everything.
On this day three years ago,
                                             I was torn apart.
On this day three years ago,
                                             I gave up.
On this day three years ago,
                                             I found out I wasn't enough.
On this day three years ago,
                                             My life was no longer mine.
This day three years ago was my bio moms birthday, also the day I didn't get to go home.
 1° 
Mamolefe
I sip on my green tea
wishing for it to cleanse me.
Wishing for it, to cleanse out the oils and the misery I consume.
Wishing for it to break down my toxins.
Wishing for it ... to cleanse the sections of myself that even I cannot reach.

Green Tea

A substance that supposedly detoxes the belly, but not strong enough to detox the soul

Not strong enough to take away my shadows, my doubt, my ego or my woes.
A drink, not strong enough to hug my spirit at its loneliest hours.
Yet, I sip
.. praying the wet herbs that tickle my tongue shall unlock the gateway, or the path, or the door... to my soul.

So I sip...
And sip...
And sip...

Swallowing it’s brew...and my tears.
 1° 
Anastasia
Mother
Help her
Don’t you love her
She’s bleeding out
On the bathroom floor
Mother
Hold her
Can’t you see she’s dying
Right there in front of you
Her lungs are shaking
Mother
Tell her
That she’ll be alright
Put pressure on her wounds
Stop the flow
Mother
Help me
I don’t want to die
It’s getting so cold
Please keep me warm
 1° 
M
And here we are
the end.

Five years running
and nothing to show

except the slowed
platonic love

and tired
texts

and an absence
of what once was

Except you don't know
do you

know that I'm
leaving us

know that I'm
panicked

into wondering
if I'm behind in
people

experiencing people

I feel I'm at a loss
with you

because we met each other
too soon

and now I'm just pointed bones

and you are the sun

and I'm greedy
for still wanting a piece of you

But I am burnt

The End.
I didn't think I'd write this kind of poem about you.
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