why do i build my houses out of leaves
each house for each Name
i stand them up, fingers coaxing them, willing them to stay
knowing full well that even the sunlight weighs too heavy
but i stack one on top of the other, a skyscraper of myself
hoping it'll be different this time as it sways, a sickening motion
a drop of rain causes the rooves to collapse as i struggle to keep so many of them up with my palms, using my spine load-bearing
they are stable, my fingers braced against the walls, my feet digging into the mud, my back arched and twisted, and i tell myself it's worth it
the large storm finally grays the skies and my houses are rustling at the pressure and i rearrange it all to cover them, godless prayers
lightning crackles and burns through the clouds to impact the ground
and i can't stop it
my houses begin to flutter apart like frightened birds as i try to grasp at them with damaged hands but i miss
a flash of bright white, the sun devouring the earth, and a splitting snap of wood and facade
a tree motions towards me and my pile of scattered leaves
but the mud is to my knees and my hands are clambering at fistfuls and my eyes are wide as it gets closer
And I find out nothing you said ever meant anything at all.