sometimes i stare at my scars
memories of being hurt
and i regret ever making myself bleed
but other times
i just want to feel the blade tear across my skin
and i want to go so deep
like right now

you saw me cry for the first time last night
and you said i'm still beautiful when i cry
i wasn't sad at all
it was the complete opposite
i was so ******* happy
i couldn't hold it in anymore
what i wanted to do was scream
scream at the top of my lungs
just to tell you how much i love you
i want the world to know i'm in love
that i'm finally happy
and there's nothing no one can do to change it
but i couldn't scream
and you were saying all these incredible things
that made me melt and burn like a candle
more like a forest fire spreading constantly
and the happiness and love built up
and if you were here
we would probably make love
to let out all the emotions
but we're still far apart
so i just cried instead
and i would be lying
if i said i didn't cry myself to sleep
but only because i thought of us
being together for eternity
we're officially married in our hearts
because we can't be together right now
and i don't think you know
just how much that makes me happy
you complete me
in ways that no one else has
i love you more than you know
and i'm so glad it's you and me in the end
i wouldn't want anyone else
if i lost you
i think i would just go **** myself
i have no other reason to live
no other reason to be so happy
and without you
my life would mean completely nothing
you're everything
i hope you know that always

Our hands touched, the warmth radiating throughout my body
A stranger I do not know
He sits behind me in math class
And I knew right then and there that there’s many people in this world
That I’ve never acknowledged or known
That even though I feel left out now
Someone will come along with warm hands
And a loving soul and they will never leave me to be alone

beads of sadness drip down the side of my face
my lungs are drowning in that blue smoke
my body slows to match my heartbeat
i'm sorry my superpowers are back
if you don't know, i can control the weather
everything i feel matches the outside
and i'm sorry it's pouring down rain
raindrops like little wrecking *****
when they hit the ground with force
a wall of rain so dense
you can't see
and if you couldn't tell
that's the way i feel inside constantly
i'm sorry if it starts flooding
i'm sorry if the wind picks up
i'm sorry if a tornado destroys everything around me
i'm sorry.
i can't control the storm that's already inside of me
i may not be able to control this hurricane outside
so please take shelter
please don't let me hurt you
there is too much sadness inside of me to handle at one time

i know i'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight
and that's not a fun feeling to have

i run when things get too much
and everything feels this way now
so please
if you love me
don't let me run
i just need to walk
i need to move slower
don't move too fast

i don't really like talking to people too much anymore
no one really has anything to say
it's all just small talk
no one likes deep conversations anymore
and that's what i'm here for
but i knew i was in love with you
when i just wanted to talk to you about anything
you could just say hello to me
and it would light up my whole day
and i could talk to you for hours about the weather
or other little things
and i would never get bored
you fascinate me

i keep seeing spirits in front of my eyes
white wisps of smoke floating by
why are these ghosts taking shelter in my mind?
they do not belong here
am i just turning into a ghost myself?
no one sees me, no one knows
am i invisible?

yes

I feel something in my heart and in my head
Like love is just out of my reach, like it's waiting for me to find it
I've felt it since this morning
It feels as though love is going to find me soon
Like whoever is waiting for me is right around the corner
I don't know if this feeling is true
But I really hope it is

you know, i was depressed a few years ago
but i did it on purpose
convinced myself my life was bad
just to experience being incredibly sad
it was stupid because i started to believe it
and then i harmed myself
for no reason
but i guess it was a good thing
because now i can recognize the feelings
now im truly depressed
i can feel it washing over me
there's nothing i can do about it
i feel nothing
just have to push through it i guess

i'm having trouble sleeping
maybe that's why i'm so tired
it takes me an hour to even fall asleep
and i wake up too much in the night
for it to even be considered sleeping

we talked about the future like it was already here
like tomorrow would be the day our life started
it felt like i could reach out and touch it
and my skin grew warm from the sunshine woven around my heart