I sat at the edge
of the mountain

I looked out
at all the land

A winged creature
emerged from behind
the clouds

White feathered beauty,
delivering a message
from heaven.

There would be no
end to the
pain
and suffering
that love
on earth
could cause me.

Its talons grazed
my papery skin,
which ripped open
so easily.

I was bleeding out
into the soil,
as the vision
of a beautiful
bird
slowly flapped
its wings,
and flew
away.

I am a flower
growing in the way of a footpath,
from a crack in the pavement,
dog ***, human feet shuffling,
bicycle tire spinning

I am a sunflower, glowing
in the morning light.
through sparkling mist,
which sits beside me, feeding
me sweet nothings and soft
droplets.

I am a wild rose,
my thorns are sharp, my
petals are delicate.
My roots reaching,
so deep into the earth,
yet the water has evaporated,
even in those depths, my roots are
cracking,
my hips are drying out.

I am a flower in the middle of a footpath,
I have been trampled and I have
been peed on and biked over.
I am trying to stand up again.
I am trying to stand up again.

I was a child, then.
When a stormy sea
filled the air with hope,
and salt.
And there were hills to climb,
to sit with you
at the very top,
in silent darkness.
Where we held our breath
and lied to ourselves,
about what was wrong
or right.

The years passed us by.
On that hill beside the ocean,
where we consummated
our long-awaited desires,
and I felt sparkles
on your lips;
The same hill under which
I found my reflection
in a muddy pool of water.
The grass beside it was so fine,
and so green.

A park bench at the top
of a sunset hike through
the native valley,
in full bloom—wildflowers
reflected our openness.
Sandpapery stubble
on your cheeks
matched the texture
between my thighs,
which I kept only for you
and nobody else.

The day I knew you would
never be back,
the empty voicemail box,
the repetition in rising
each morning, without you.

My eyes begged you,
Forgive me,
I know not with whom I speak,
you are but a mirage to me,
an oasis only existing
in the realm of my twisted mind.

My hands pleaded you,
come and love me,
show me what you have inside
that golden box,
you keep hidden behind
the headboard.

A light faded and
flickered
in the house across the street.
Up on the hill,
branches swayed peacefully
with the wind.
I succumbed
to your darkness.

A path which winds
through desert sands
is no path at all,
but a choice made each moment
with each aching footstep,
the song of a stream
in the distance,
was only a breeze
passing through the air.

The shadow of the man
that had appeared before
was no longer there.

midnight black arabian prince,
his neck, impressed by the wired
fence
holding him back forever
from the woman of his dreams.
        dark horse
they came for him in the evening
soft, dimming sunlight grazed his eyes
an endurance horse, for one hundred miles
they wanted him but
        he was lazy
his inclination was to stand still
to stroll slowly about a green pasture
forevermore
forevermore, his dream,
spent on his own name.

he fell in love with the mare
on the other side
of the wired fence
she teased him, an older woman,
awakened his rebel soul,
inspired to break out
of this arbitrary cage
his courage and his passion
only roused by love by desire
something a human would not understand
could not understand
not in the same way

he felt alone he felt trapped inside himself
so he tore down the fence,
cut his legs on the wires
just to be close to
       her
to brush his nose against her
sharpened spine, inhale the scent of
dust mixed with love mixed with
pheromones,
for only a moment
that could extend into
       forever
encapsulated in his memory
a snapshot: one piece
of chaotic bliss
amidst all that running
the flying floating cloud of dust
still chases him.

though he no longer runs in fear
no longer gallops away,
lazily trots, hooves dragging sand,
happy under his bold, italian rider
she doesn’t come around
often enough.
today he is young but
soon he will be aged by experience,
wherever they send him,
he has no real home,
only belongs to the night sky,
only matches the color of darkness,
i hope he remembers the way i tickled his lips and
fed him handfuls of dead grass.
he could be gone tomorrow because
animals do not choose their homes anymore.

Something in the atmosphere

I can smell it

I lie to everyone

“I’m doing well”

We talk about the weather.

Desperate efforts are made

To keep strong the dam.

To stay calm, to

Keep the river from overflowing.

It is, anyway, overflowing.

I will flood the space around me

You will all drown as I drown.

A moment in time and space,
a white scar against a fawn hand
indigo iris inside a colorless eye,
and burning rose into pale cheeks.

This was permanence, before it was
torn apart by its own user,
in anxious desperation for the
imminent future, which promised
absolutely nothing to her.

And they wondered why she couldn’t
get on with the others.
More to be seen and less to be
heard,
a quiet life to be lived out,
alone; painlessly.

Urgency was in your expression
as we hid underneath the sofa
in the final moments
of the party,
before you gave me away
to the dogs
for supper.

Somehow, my great escape
led me right back
to you.
But my fingers didn’t fit
between your garden gloves,
and your distracted gaze was fixed
on the traffic lights
outside the misted window.
All I saw,
was our condensation
on the glass
through golden lamplight
and the yellow bookshelves.

Through the abandoned sidewalks
under cypress trees
and fluorescent street lights
into the dark grassland,
where you chased
my favorite seabird,
and I scolded you like a child;
you ran ahead, searching
for more excitement.

But time had other plans,
it froze itself in that moment
your face became my mirror,
and I carefully touched
your lips with mine.
You pulled away,
tried again, and our
noses met, like two
wild animals
agreeing with a ritual
to raise new life
together.

Distance
does not
make the
heart
grow fonder.
Instead
the love becomes
weary the mind
makes
mistakes
out of fear.

Distance makes
the heart
estranged
and the world
is enveloped
in a thick
black
fog.
While you
are nowhere
to be found
you said
you’d try but
you haven’t,
and neither
have I.

Forgetfulness
and ignorance
the heart is loud
its beat
pulsing forever
becomes quiet.
You cannot
hear my heart
from wherever
you are
so far away
I can’t hear
yours either

I cupped my hands
behind my ears
trying
but distance
makes the heart
grow weary
tired
gone

She,
A child, a witness,

Quiet;
and far away, too far to hear
close enough to see

blurred lines of
dark cement
****** sidewalk, and
silver pain that glides in swiftly,

Light that shines brighter than
all else behind
neon OPEN sign

flickering above
a man sleeping, and leaking into the gutter.

You,
let me
fly away into
an invisible stream
that carried me all the way
home,
back around the bend and into
my own arms.

Let go of my string, and
I disappeared behind a cloud.
I thought I’d watch you with the angels
but began to look away,
where there were trees swaying.
Leaves hushing,
though the world doesn’t spare
one moment of silence.

And roots dug deep beneath
my own plot of dirt,
where you stepped between
the seeds without
looking down, and
pressed the soles of your
shoes
into my chest

I just wanted comfort
somewhere to lay my cold
body
before I leave this plane.

She ran so fast up those stairs
He was there at the top
to stop her and
make her wait
for me.

So we could go together

mine
is built from
hills
and valleys
hills and creases

a body
a vessel
a shape
a form

mountains and valleys
beige yellow green and red
body is an arrangement
of forking paths

his
constructed by the devil
he is beautiful
in his sharp knife body
created from dust
before it could settle

To wander slowly through a blood colored jungle
humid world of shadow
a dull color
is the sky
indicted by the moon
a red and celestial thing
some people say that red
be the color of anger
hatred
fear.
but my people say
red is the color of your
heart
red is the color of your
heart
the life pumping through your intricate
systems
of veins and
arteries

Love be the color
red
or it is turned into violet
from your blueness.
the lovesick color, lavender

all those colors
are beautiful
intertwined and blended together
folded into creases and
tucked beneath each other