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Nov 2014 · 576
The Cost Of Freedom
Lauren Gorger Nov 2014
To calculate the perfect math and succeed in society,
must we have to subtract the right to live free,
and do so privately?
Do we have to become unwrapped and molded in the warm hands of the man
that overstands but never will understand?
We are not banned to take a stand to the plan
implanted before we even began.
Do we have to learn anger before we are no longer strangers to peace?
Because I would never put a heart in danger,
but I could use a frustration release.
Do you see what I mean? -
Being torn between how they want me to be and noticing these things
that would leave my soul unclean...
I think that we should represent the unseen:
The things they don't believe reside within you and me.
The unity that could be.
The troubled hearts with the ever growing will to breathe.
The neglected souls that still, won't ever deceive.
The bewildered trees that still paint the scene.
Isn't it lovely?
Would you still love me?
If you knew you had to take off your mask,
would you still trust me?
I promise we could run free.
Follow me, we could make time move slow.
The cosmos bleed, let's reflect their glow.
We could make it so
its never our time to go.

- L.G.
Nov 2014 · 403
I Am 3 A.M.
Lauren Gorger Nov 2014
It is 3:00a.m,
and a cold breeze has suddenly rushed into my room.
These chills seem to have woken me up
to have a conversation with the moon.
The moon that remains so bold,
to shine so bright in such immense darkness.
How brave of her to have the ability to harness the
tarnished cities of which she oversees..
the battered leaves that tomorrow, will leave with the breeze..
the purest hearts that drop down to their knees
in the middle of the street
begging you to please,
have some sympathy..
the thieves that leave with the keys to our hearts,
the ones who said you would never be stranded,
yet you watched them depart.
She sees the things
that wake us out of our coldest dreams.
And yet, her energy bleeds
to relieve the shackles
and loosen your seams.
It seems we don't notice those that breathe,
unless they play a character
in this illusionary theme...
a scheme of how things should be in society.
She observes quietly.
How brave of her to absorb
the reflection of tears
that fall on our floors.
This stillness is something I have come to adore, more and more.
It plays jazz music on the deepest depths of my candescent core.
The door is open, and from myself, I am torn.
I have decided to be bold
like the moon's pull that allowed this ballpoint to roll.
It is time for me to go back to sleep,
and awake reborn.

- L.G.
Nov 2014 · 317
So Long...
Lauren Gorger Nov 2014
I feel that I am glowing.
So long, I have been floating.
If I'm wrong, my heart will keep on hoping
to be the song that's helping with the coping.
I know it gets hard,
but everyday we walk on the concrete.
Put down your guard,
and i promise to approach you softly.
We could feel like we were soaring.
We could peel out of our minds,
I think we should get going.
By the way, your aura is golden.
It's beautiful how you never let trust in yourself be stolen.
We perfect the art of holding on...
Like your favorite song waking you up at the crack of dawn,
or tension so strong it could break an arm.
In everything, I hear a melody,
presented by "we" the unseen;
I walk breathlessly.
I wonder if you wander aimlessly or if you graze through this maze of life gracefully..
So long, I've waited patiently.
So long, you know I have a place to be.
If I am wrong, I suggest you start chasing me.
Follow me and you might see
what it's like to be escaping free.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 232
Untitled
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I wrote my dreams down in permanent ink, but the fire inside these eyes burned the paper when I blinked.
I lean over the bathroom sink, aligning my thoughts and all that I seek.
And sometimes it makes me weak
to think that I struggle to keep my head above water,
like I'm starting to sink.
But this is me.
This is bigger than we.
This is the trigger that I pull when it's my time to leave.
I promised to stay,
so I'm just leaving my pain.
I'm dancing in the rain.
I'm transitioning lanes.
I decided to take the road less traveled.
The one that offers good fortune,
where I will watch all my dreams
become unraveled.
You look at me baffled,
like I'm not supposed to push
through the hurt.
You're so used to falling down
and playing in the dirt.
My conscience is much cleaner,
my demeanor is getting much meaner.
I am ******* but I am peaceful,
I am soft spoken,
but these words are lethal.
I am the diesel that sets fire to the flame
to make you say "we are all equal".
But people often jump on the train
that's named "everything here is the same",
and society is the one to blame.
I will spark change
and it will stay.
There will be a sequel to my name
and i will never be ashamed.
It's crazy that when I closed my eyes
as I felt this ink burn,
I remembered everything that I've decided to learn.
I didn't need that paper
with my dreams written on it,
I needed me.
and you need you.
We need we.
We are the black sheep
but you just refuse to see,
that when it all breaks,
being yourself is lovely.
You can still see clear,
even when that water is muddy.

Just trust me.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 279
Déjà Vu
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I often feel that I have been here before.
Sometimes it is uncomfortably familiar.
I must have left the first time searching for something more;
there had to be something I couldn't figure.
It's as if the picture returned much bigger,
and i was born with my finger on the trigger.
This time, I focus on the stars instead of the scars.
I once lived on Mars and played galactic guitars.
I often feel that I have been here before...
and you knew too, when you opened the door.
I wonder if anybody remembers me or if I have to die once more.
But if I leave this world, I will not return.
My energy will burn into every nocturnal concern
that leaves you awake and alert.
I will play the piano on the blackened keys of your heart,
and turn them into that brighter white so you can have more light to give to your art.
We can travel to the moon,
where these letters often start,
and dig through the craters in search of the things that leave us ready to depart.
I often feel that I have been here before.
But I found an unopened door that lead to something more in store to adore.
I know you can feel it in your core.
I think it's time you get off the bathroom floor,
so we can surely soar.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 399
If I Died Tonight
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
An imaginative mind can fly into a space that cannot be traced.
This is how I gain my freedom.
A positive climb can never die in a place where negative energy is defaced.
This is what I call my kingdom.
They often wonder why my words sound obsurd and unheard to the herd of sheep that choose to sleep and never take on the wings of a bird.
I tell them that it takes time to be heard when your words don't curve to defeat and that's all they want to see.
They don't become awake to my dreams.
They live on their knees and i could die on my feet, right now.
Do you hear the sound coming from my mouth?
I hope you're around to see the dreams that once formed within me -
The desire to be something more than me.
I aim high, they shoot low.
They will try to ******* out at the knees but won't remember that I said I would die on my feet, right now.
How could you want me to drown when you can clearly see that I already bleed everything within me?
You cannot destroy water, and i am the sea.
I am we.
I cannot leave.
I cannot not be the diety.
Call me self-righteous, but this is my destiny.
It's kind of funny how the more I study this world, the more this world keeps testing me.
I never needed a calculator to calculate the declining rate of those that emulate.
So I decided to innovate as I elevate.
Let me penetrate your heart, since my words have yet to resonate.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 410
The Interlude
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I slowly straighten out the scattered signs that have been aligned in this saturated mind.
My mind straddles time and these rhymes, and in the middle you will find the reason.
The reason for all the seasons.
The blissful breath that I am surely breathing.
The misleading beating of a heart that was once bleeding.
If you look closely, you can see this scar that proves that all wounds heal with time - even the unspoken.
I bet you never noticed.
Maybe we lose our focus and neglect the notion that our pain is not made to be self-extortion.
It is more important that we indulge in the moment of self-control.
Let the moon pull you from the cold heart that you live with.
Our doom will soon be illuminated by the give of forgiveness.
I have taken on the shape of infinite realms.
These dimensions were never shallow, but to get to this soul of water, you must first crack my shell.
Do you dare to dwell on your tears and unacknowledged fears?
That's a long, lonely road, darling;
I met my demons on a road that I couldn't steer.
I learned to take the wheel on my weakest day that particular year.
And those scars started to vanish, like how the fog settles and it all seems clear.
I am a pressed rose in an old, dusty boom.
This page was once visited;
You can see the fingerprints of a sensitive hand...
Look.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 1.3k
Inspiration In Absence
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
A friend once told me that all of his inspiration was lost, it was a half past 2.
I wondered how much of himself it would cost to wander a bit, and try something new.
Maybe this is out of the blue, but perhaps we can find inspiration in all of its absence, too.
Inspiration is in me and it's in you.
It's where you sit right now, just enjoying the view.
It's the smiles that graze by you, if only a few.
It's the change in the space that could never be replaced.
A positive embrace that becomes written all over my face.
I told him, "sometimes, we must change our questions and readjust our eyes. And by surprise, the sunset becomes the sunrise."
The difference between a decline and an incline.
The distance between looking forward and falling behind.
Inspiration that is in front of us -
The heart invested trust that sends us a rush that is never undone.
The cold-hearted lust that turns to love under the sun.
Your words are not lost, they have only just begun.
To wander is to observe.
We find inspiration between the fine lines of all the words that we've heard.
I told him that I think we deserve to imagine our world...
To become what you desire to serve.
To see all the lessons learned and unlearned, in the midst of your hurt.
My last words curved, without a slur -
"Stay grounded. There is always inspiration implanted in the dirt."

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 6.2k
Complicated Balance
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
My balance is often complicated by the complex complications of construed situations.
The uncensored limitations, the spiteful aggravation; they think these are indications that I should melt with temptation through my frustration.
But if you felt my vibration, it would send you to the sky, where I am stationed.
I could never be what you want me to be in your dreams,
it seems that the seams to my soul are more than what you see them to be.
You don't see me. I became transparent,
hold me to the light for my transparency
to be clear to read.
Clarity will arrive here when your conscience calls and you appear.
My heart blends in the healing water that has a hallow father.
He is the fire that breeds these things that allow me to bleed and be these words that you see.
My balance is often complicated
but I have never once waited to be rejuvenated.
The light of the moon
illuminated my sight through my doom.
I dance with the stars and i hope we all meet soon,
so that we can bloom
as these words fill up the space
in this 4 cornered room.

-L.G
Oct 2014 · 311
A Message in a Bottle
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
Everytime I open my eyes,
I see these strangers
in diguise
just floating through time
with their soft spoken lies.
Did they paint their own mask by choice?
Or did society?
Did they ever know they had a voice?
Or did they learn to roam silently
in a world that deprived them of their own privacy?
I dream of telling each and every veiled citizen that it is okay...
to beg them to meet who they already are - not to run, but to stay.
If you open your eyes and don't see what I see,
that doesn't mean we can't be
like the waves of the sea.
We roll free, and suddenly,
time no longer exists.
We face our fears, instead of running to find the nearest exits.
We won't panic.
Maybe these words should live in a bottle
and travel the waters,
perhaps they will reach our daughters.
A part of me hopes that the bottle lands at the feet of a father,
and he will then realize that it is not too late
to be the author through any falter.
He will prosper.
If you receive this message on the edge of that cold sand,
reveal yourself to the world
and throw me back into the water.

I understand this is not what you had planned.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 503
The Preparation
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
It's insulting when you have to remind your own family that this is important.
They gave me a crash course on devotion, and how to embrace these emotions.
Maybe they didn't think their words would resonate, so deep.
Like a volcano, it caused an explosion inside these eyes..
Creating craters of a vision enormous.  
My vision is gorgeous,
like a paid-off mortgage in the house of your dreams.
Would you believe this is me?
Once a little girl who was too timid to live it,
Now she is way past livid
and needs a one way ticket...

Take me to the place where
I remain me, but nothing stays the same .
Make me adapt to change.
Watch me push beyond the range that you have unreasonably set on my stage.
This is far beyond unreasonable doubt.
There is no wage that could define my soul.
I am in control.
Subtle hate and false love,
I know I will feel this like i feel all of the above.
I look in the mirror
and the reflection presents real love.
So as long as I'm breathing,
these breaths will continue breeding
Everything we've been needing.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 387
The Promise
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I sat up for endless nights, staring into the imaginary mirror of perfection; just trying to get it right.
See, the mirror once struck fear into my inner ear.
I recall being a mess that year.
Looking into something that was so clear, I didn't understand why clarity showed no signs of being near.
Maybe the glass was fogging up from the steam that would leak from the seams of my pores - the doors to the things that I should feel more.
The numbness was an empty vein, but it sent a shock wave to my nerve endings.
It was in this moment, I knew the rest of my life was only pending.
I hated the message I had been sending.
So I backspaced into a new place with a new face.
When I went back to the mirror, the glass broke.
I listened to the sound of the shatter and it reminded me: I am my last hope.
I am the last note in the song you wrote to everyone who's told you "no".
I didn't know I could be so bold. Or maybe I did, but I had only been told.
I am no more than what I allow my soul to feel. I am no more than what I perceive to be real.
So here's the deal:

I won't conceal this passion until I'm in that casket. And even then, you couldn't bury me, when my legacy is my tactic.
But will you listen to my echoing voice? Will they send you the chills that I feel? Will you understand?

I will scatter my soul in all the grains of sand on which you'll stand, contemplating if you should have ever ran...

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 516
A Letter From My Demons
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
It's nice to see you.
I knew you would be back soon.
You were staring at the moon,
holding a broken broom
that snapped as you broke in half
while sweeping up the glass
of your shattered heart.
You were so sad but you started to laugh.
Why do you laugh at your pain?
Is it a way of putting out the flame of your shame?
Does it weigh on your brain,
so much you go insane,
trapped in this downpour of rain?
Is it impossible to sustain a smile when you dial my number?
Do I remind you of the thunder
that makes you stutter through every word that you utter?
I never meant to frighten you; maybe you have taken me wrong.
I could be the lyrics you sing
with your eyes closed when you hear
your favorite song.
I am the truth in the lies you've heard for so long.
You run from me, but I will always be here.
If you could just take me as I am, I will help you see clear.

I am the pain that talks quietly in your ear.
My intent is not fear.
I came to teach you how to smile
and how to steer
through the obstacles that were so near
to you for all of those years.
I dare you to not run from me like you always do.
It's what you're used to.

Have the same power over yourself as I have over you.

- Your Demons.
Oct 2014 · 659
Connecting The Dots
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I cannot live a lie
as I glide through the air
that remains true
to the the sky.
You and I
will never die,
we build castles
shaped like the pyramids
teetering on the tip
of our third eye.
This is I.
Or am I this?
Awareness;
you don't need to look
to notice.
I become blind to my focus,
but my focus stares at me
through my dreams
until I am awoken.
The force that enters
my realm of reality
has been stolen,
like the deprivation of silence
when wilting words
are spoken.
Now, I am the force.
I am the source
of the sorcerer soaring
through the solstice.
Everything, in time,
is mine.
The melody of a devine rhyme
halfway frozen in time,
I can't rewind
or hide behind,
only align the lines
and combine the signs.
Oct 2014 · 868
The Soft Spoken Silence
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
She closed her eyes
Then she realized
That behind her blinds
Lies the disguise.
In this moment in time
Her soul aligns
With abstract designs.
She binds her cries
And soft spoken lies
And sends them to the sky
Where they can be alive.
She rests with the wings
Of a butterfly.
But never knew why
No one taught her to fly.
She let her soul cry
In the middle of the night
And when it was time for goodbye,
She failed to reply.
Oct 2014 · 539
How Obsurd
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I form new worlds
with the wandering words
that waltz out of my mouth
waiting to be heard;
how obsurd.
I create a storm unborn to a norm.
Torn from the thorns
that swarmed me with sores,
running toward the corner
that will open the doors.
I twirl around this twisted town
tearing down the balconies
towering over the kings
with the crowns.
They will all drown.
I travel out of the crowd
because i am bound
to the sweeter sound
that I have found
with no one around.
Molding mountains
with a meticulous touch,
making a masterpiece of myself
manifesting my adrenaline rush.
Let me feel it pump.
Through my veins,
something like insane rage
when I was siamese
to the chains,
until the day I stared back
at the eye of change
and took the stage.
I learned to rearrange the lanes
accustomed to living
within range,
levitating on the waves
that start to surface
on a new age.
Oct 2014 · 770
Crooked Cops
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
Crooked cops on the edge of the block.
Are they here to stop, or here to mock?
I had a dream once that all my hope was lost...

Feeling hopeless, begging for a sign of their proclaimed devotion.
My head slammed against the glass of the squad car,
They left me there then went to entrap the ones leaving the bar.
They don't know who we are,
but we gotta keep respect.
Like I've never earned a check or been upset.
We obey or get left.
We try to get right or get stepped.
Onto the next to make their life a wreck.
Enforced by fear every day of the year.
If we don't hear the fear,
It's a gun to our ear.
Living in a free country far away from here.
Our cries don't make ourselves clear.
If only our tears became spears,
But you know this life ain't fair.
that's what they will tell you, my dear.
It's quite ironic, this poem.
I had a dream about the content of this writing about a week before #Ferguson started taking place...and then it happened, almost like a premonition. I don't know, but I firmly believe being awake and aware to the world around you offers some unexplainable signs to put into words.
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
By surprise, I stayed until the peak of the sunrise.
Time shifting, color saturation
through my life blocking blinds.
Sometimes it seems I'm being sized on a scale
superficially ran by non seeing eyes.
Your ignorance gives me butterflies,
not the kind that love finds
but the kind that makes your stomach tie.
When you see a flower die,
does it ever make you think
you've been wasting time?
You might be the flower
within my rhyme.
We could take tomorrow
and rewind to today
and be fine.
Look in the mirror..
I see your face, you see mine.
The reflections incline
but more people turn blind,
so we retract back to the boy
that only knew fear
so he never would shine.
I found out the world was mine
right as I was staring at this sun light. Illuminating my world
as it beams on my mind.
It should have been a rainbow,
the spectrum of its glow.
But unlike the wilting leaves of this flower, our true colors
can always grow.
Oct 2014 · 437
Untitled
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
Attempt to drag me down,
and I hope you let me lift you up.

Drowning in the noise of the crowd,
and i will tell you that your voice
is just enough.

Suppress my light through your dimming shades,
and i will bring you the hottest sun
through the coldest rains.

If you aim to shoot me down,
I will duck the bullet.
I will gently take your finger off the trigger,
and diminish every reason you decided to pull it.

If you decide to laugh while I cry,
I hope you don't mind
if I ask you why.

I will cry while you cry,
and maybe then, we might have the time
to see eye to eye.

You may be wondering why my heart
rests on my sleeve,
so I will take the shirt off my back
and give it to you when I leave.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 469
I Am Drawn
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
You made me hang on every word,
like you handed me the noose.
You thought that words could never hurt,
I guess my tears never showed you.

I cut myself open and left
my soul exposed -
My heart was dead, but still,
this flower arose.
You wondered how my eyes
were so stale
but I saw so clear,
how my heart was so numb
but the sensation of feeling
was so dear.
You never knew why
when you touched me
I always held on tighter.
And i told you that you remind me
That I am here
and to stretch my arms
a little wider.
You reminded me
to have a little more faith
before it was too late,
to save myself from watching
everything I have go down the drain.

I think maybe I was watching
my wasteful energy float
down the stream along the curb,
but I still smiled.
I was so happy.
Why would I be so content?
I figured it out when I met you.
You showed me everything I was,
was not who I intended to be.
But the way my life would change,
would be way more challenging.

I was angry
that you failed to prepare me
for the self-destruction
I would endure.
But then I realized
you knew I'd figure it out on my own,
and that my pain
had to be heard.
You knew that I
wouldn't have even tried
if I didn't willingly say goodbye
to the old me. I met the new me,
and you already knew me.

I'm still so impressed.
It's like you took the pencil out of my hand and perfectly drew me.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 394
The Wind Beneath My Wings
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
The wind beneath these wings
moves silently
as it breaks the stable air.
We float beyond the things
that receive attention
with undeserved care.
You stand there and stare
like you've never seen a rose grow
out of cement
then flow into the storm,
untouched like I'm higher power sent.
And you get a trace of the scent,
like the ocean
that waters my garden.
If I should be unfamiliar
with these things,
then I ask that you beg my pardon.
I swim away,
back strokes with high hopes.
The sun beams on my smile,
climbing the mountains
sliding down the slopes.
It's all the same
when you're truly alive.
Die to life's bullets,
and it becomes easier to revive.
Get pushed to the side
and we still fall in line.
I am so aligned.
Yet, I am scattered.
My soul breathes
with the well blended
and rattled.
Pour me on the rocks
that oversea the ocean,
the sea will see me
in its everlasting motion.
Through the commotion,
my indulgence submerges
with the submarines
and I discover
the unheard.

And when I come up for air,
I will speak into existence,
every lesson
that was rendered.

- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 806
The Garden
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I close my eyes to fall into the spiral of my twisted mind.
I twirl and dance like a child in your dreams,
picking flowers from your garden of mystery.
I lay in a field of grass and see the clouds mold to the shape of my spine.
My imagination flies.
These white clouds in the sky resemble the purest doves,
roaming free as they flew by.
Staring into the abyss, beauty looked into my eyes and i saw and part of you and I.
The infinite possibilities of the infinite...
I remain here, my body surrendering to what is bigger than I.
I put my hands firmly around the neck of the universe, but I'm the only one that chokes.
The answers form in the mind of reason and rhyme
and spill out of the back of my throat.
The cosmos live inside this abstract mind.
In time, I will become as light as the doves that fly.
Levitate beyond the division line that separates your heart and mine.
What is the combination to the lock that closes our minds?
I wandered.
The answer ran through my veins under this tree of wonder.

I opened my eyes, and there was only thunder.

-L.G.
Oct 2014 · 1.4k
Lost Souls
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
What is it with this generation of lost souls? Do you ever just sit and think, where did we lose the part that made us whole?
Somewhere along the way, hating love and loving hate became the forefront of everything we say.

Somehow it became the generation of kids who probably won't realize they're adults until, one day, they look in the mirror and see that they're 45, still in the same pair of designer jeans and expensive shoes they could barely even afford. And the only reason they bought them was to post a picture on instagram just to get false sense of validation from people they barely even know.

We lost sight of the importance of being an advocate of self.
When we have money, that's our only weath.
What about wealth in mind, body, spirit?
This generation would rather snort lines for an out of body experience.
How sad.
The generation that will laugh watching others cry, just to fit in.
What, exactly, are you trying to fit into?
What is it really, that prevents you from being in-tune?
Why the moon isn't as interesting as that little corner of doom in a messy room, while you have no desire to bloom.

I want so badly for this generation to be better, together.
To treat one another like sister and brother -
It's time for everyone to blow their cover.
Take off the mask, they're no longer needed.
Be the future, because we are. Become what you want to be seeded.
It's okay to cry or to ask for help. Put your pride aside, go inside to find that real wealth.
I challenge you to be better.
Look yourself In the mirror and surrender.
I wish you love and peace through all of your endeavors.

Love.
- L.G.
Oct 2014 · 3.3k
The Detached Connection
Lauren Gorger Oct 2014
I often wonder if I am detached from myself.
Maybe I am too in-tuned to the moon.
I'm the rose that became fully bloomed under the sunlight of noon.
I took my doom and ripped into two.
I shatter my pride but ironically,
my pride told me to put it back with glue.
Who knew that I would walk in these shoes,
blood pumping through my hopeful heart and I'm singing the blues.
The way my soul moves, I swivel in and out of the grooves of the wounds that you can only see in my eyes.
I see the world like you'll see my demise; beautiful immortality saying her softest goodbyes.
When I cry, doves hear me.
I flock with the birds over the clearest water,
and it sees right through me.

— The End —