Like Romeo and Juliet
You told me you love me
and that I must understand:
“Love 'till the end.”

You went ahead
with your plan
of destructive madness,
you left me alone, why did you go?

You set the stage,
smokes and sirens,
You shine in the light,
You are the queen of this night.

Do you care,
or did you care,
that you'll leave me alone,
just on my own. Forever.

Do you know,
that the distance between us,
is just what you create?
I can't let you go,
understand WHAT?

I'll share your sadness,
I'll drown in your sadness,
but I know I can't stop,
you'll just play your part.

World is trying to drown me
and I want to scream
but my hands are tied down
and my lips are sealed

Your eyes are open
still you fail to see
living in your own world
pain replaced with fantasy

And you are never wrong
and I can't ever stop you
with the vision so strong
you have drowned another

I'm tired of your stories,
my darling, my friend,
I want you to hold me
you want me to fail
simple excuses
put nails in my hands

Joy from hurting
you selflessly share
you send all those pictures
to your most twisted friends
even if I wanted to
I know I can't escape

I hear you screaming
the voices in my head
clawing your own way
to heaven, to hell
you say its over
when it never began?

The curse of the flesh
can be lifted in death
but I sold my soul
there is nowhere to go
the darkness of days
my life is a maze

I lost my way
I fail if I can
I feel so cold now
I want you to hold me now
just hold me now..
this is the end.

These pills should make me feel better?
(Or should they just make me feel?)
All they do is make me sleepy.
All I want is sleep
and I can't,
'cause all I can is think.

And what burden is the thinking,
with no start and no stop.
It filled my head to a point of breaking
and I think it already broke.
'cause all I do
is think of you.

I wake tired,
(if I wake at all)
it's these pills,
how many
is too many?
I think I had too few.

Good night.

I can hear the endless sounds
of my soul bleeding
and down the drain it goes
and all that was right
is now wrong
until it disappears completely
that's what it is
living alone
in a nether
with no family
with the world chewing you
ever so slowly
and pushing you back
in a trashcan "not normal"
or box for "socially acceptable"
and so called friends
lurking in shadows
waiting for you to fall
so they can salvage what is left
and you are alone
alone and your legs broken
that will teach you not to stand
alone and you will never be "home"
with bleeding soul
and heart so cold
that it gives you shivers
out of touch
and out of control
lets write him off as "lost"

Can someone explain to me
why is it that I can't see?
Why are my eyes
drowning in my fears?

Sleep, sleep, sleep
darkness come to me
embrace me, speak to me
why am I so lonely?

Let me burn in the pyres
I can't stand this cold
let me go, just let me go
please..

So powerful
and yet so calm
will you carry me over?
to leave all these things behind
and watch me slowly become
somebody else

When I close my eyes
I see you
You occupy my mind
my soul, my heart

I close my eyes
I feel I'm inside out
the tide washes my face
I am falling from your grace

There is a ladder to heaven
that leads straight to hell
and I guess I shall thank you
for shoving me the shortest way.

The burn that iron gives me,
the pain that makes me feel,
may the god forgive me,
I shall worship the steel.

Until my blindfold rises,
no-one will hear my screams,
no-one will cure my madness,
no-one will soothe my spleen.

By vultures I'm surrounded,
a vulture will I became,
a heartless, cruel, monster,
the twisted and decayed.

Standing on a cliff
the sea is vast open
waves whispering softly
drifting seashells come ashore
lost their purpose
lost their homes
but still beautiful
so beautiful and empty
sharing the tale of love
how it all starts
and what will we become
how all will be forgotten
everything lost
so I will become nothing
just dust drifting in the air
so peaceful and one with the universe

My dear friend,
even the Great Wall of China
cannot hide the secret
ancient manuscript of your body
WEAK, WORTHLESS, ****

Truth is hidden
within these lies,
written in blood.
You said you pierced your belly,
but who have pierced your heart?

I believe in power
beneath your eyes
that will heal
even deepest scars
of your lonely soul.

Let me ask
the question of the day:
My dear friend,
have you became
a water buffalo?

My love,
You are the only thing I got left,
it has been so long since our last kiss,
and more of it and more I miss.
why did you became so cold?
Or was it me? I never know.

Have I gone astray?
I know now, that this road ends.
Everyone I cared for
dead or betrayed,
tell me, tell me, love,
what have I became?

Was I failure from the start,
or did I fail myself as well?
I have lost my lucky stars,
now the sky is dark and gray.
Unlike the darkness in my heart,
there is some remaining light.

Whatever is out there, keep it.
I will need it no more, I've lived my share,
now it's time for someone else.
No worry, I had more than I could care.
Love and hate and hate again.
I blame no-one, I blame myself.

Don't you worry, my love,
there never was a hate for you,
only love, if love is true.
I can't let you wait no longer,
just a moment, before I go,
before my lips touch yours.

The only one who ever loved me,
you had to leave me all alone?
What to do, when you are gone?
Better you not know me now,
monster and a criminal,
no longer victim, I am the crook.

I know what and how to do it.
Not afraid of death, just of dying.
Should have done it, when I could.
I know you are dead and yet still with me,
I can hear you day and night,
and I shall too...

become.

Why don't you
free yourself
spread your wings
fly in the sky?

All these things
you can do
shackles off
why not tonight?

Life like a
lucid dream
smile again
shine like a star.

You'll make mistakes
but that's alright
being perfect
is reserved for God.

Listen to the
voice of heart
it knows what's wrong
and knows what's right.

Live your life
don't be afraid
go out there
and seize the day.

Nothing feels like home
a whole new world
when you close the door
and lay down on the carpet
staring at an empty wall
wish for it to break the silence
and you drown yourself in salt
and suffocate yourself with a pillow

Days and years may pass
but you are still strong in your fortress
nobody can breach the walls
you are alone in eternal darkness
emptiness tied your tongue
and mercy have you blinded
sill nobody noticed you are gone
nobody will notice when you die here.

You locked your doors
there is no more
I bash my head
against your walls
and still you would not listen

An awful screech
when I try to speak
there is no place
just an empty space
where your heart once was

So it all is over
you were drunk on love
and now you're sober
and I am dead in your eyes
why don't you even try?

Another day went by
It ended well before it started
All this needless time
All this needless effort
Was it ever worth a try?
Is it better to know pain
or to know nothing?

I am not afraid of pain,
it gave me so much, I cannot repay,
it filled the void beneath my eyes -
There once was soul, but was replaced
now its claimed by abyss fall.

I am in no shape to be adored,
I made mistakes, I closed my doors,
but there was light to hold my hand,
show the path and lead the way,
and for all of that I must thank pain.

Never would I ever know,
if I did right, if I did wrong,
only if the sorrow after act would follow
then the answer clear as day, I could regret in my dismay,
If only I could thank my pain.

This is a night
so cold and dark
even if the sun
shines so bright outside
my fear gives me a blindfold.

I hear the voice scream
pointing out my inability
laughing at my weaknesses
humiliating me for insecurity
criticizing relentlessly my every mistake.

I am slave to its tyranny
every word I say is twisted
and put back into my mouth
I don't give up without a fight
so I can hurt myself even further.

I let it grow
Let it spread like a cancer
eating away at my life, my soul
and every hope I had is crushed
under the weight of this dark, dark twisted mind.

But I will walk on
this path that leads nowhere
I can go on, blinded, torn apart
take this rotten body, take this thing called pride
I can live in sewers, I can count my days and nights.

When this hell is over
I can walk with head up high
I know I tried my hardest
I fought and I survived
until the sun will rise...

My secret wish
is just to dissolve
into my bed
to become one
with everything around
to become the fabric
of the universe

To become water
run through mountains
into green valleys
and join everyone
at the sea party
to raise up as clouds
and fall down as rain drops

To end the thirst
of one lonely human
to became his blood
to go through his lungs
through his heart
and livers
and to leave him again.

To leave the Earth
and go on a journey
that leads nowhere
into deep space
to watch it all from afar
watch it all end
and start all over again.

God gave me voice
not to be silent
but to scream out
about mercy and violence
about rights and wrongs
about beauty of world
about child labor
about colorful rainbow
about witch trials
about love and desire
about lies and betrayals
about lost, drug addicts, outcasts, homelessness
and most of all about His forgiveness.

Walking in circles
the mist has covered my eyes
walking in circles
passing by the truth and the lies
walking in circles
directions direct the past
walking in circles
I am nowhere to be found
walking in circles
and I am not moving at all.

One day I will become thin air
my words will only wind whisper
No one will know or care if I ever existed
I wish it was easier to say
how hard is to tell the difference
from being alive now.

Dark night, darker thoughts.
A friend knocked on the door,
he said, move on and let her go.
Become a man she can adore,
maybe then,
but we never know.

But,what if there is
no-one I want to be
nowhere I want to go
no way of letting you go?
Oh, can't you see?
Oh, don't you know?

No more knocking on the door,
all friends left, I am alone.
But,what if they mean
nothing to me,
they're all fools to me,
it's only you I want!

Oh, don't you know that
I would breath for you,
I would **** for you,
I would sing for you,
I would live only for you!
How is all that not enough?

This is a dawn of another day,
and for the first time in life I pray.
In the light of the morning sun,
for the last time in life I sung:

Oh, can't you see
how I bleed for you,
how I scream for you,
how I'm hurt because of you?
I cried for you,
I tried for you,
but nothing is working now.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be,
maybe that, or maybe this
is what I get for once
listening to voice of heart!

I know that
I am dead to you,
I mean nothing to you,
I am only trouble and burden to you!
I am sick of you and sick of me!
This is not what I want it to be.

But really, this is all you, and no me.
I am empty, I can't feel.

I see nothing.
I hear nothing.
I am nothing.

I breathe your soul
it tastes like fire
in my mouth
a burning halo
around your head
devil or prophet
who cares?

Piece of Eden
down on Earth
life on speeding train
coast to coast
valley to mountains
all in your head
who cares?

I open my eyes,
I don't want to see,
but I cannot be blind,
even if others could be,
I have to speak:

You girl out there,
just listen to me,
I am too tired
of repeating this,
repeating constantly.

I open my eyes,
I don't want to see,
but I cannot be blind,
even if others could be,
but what do I see?

I see the girls
ruining their bodies,
cutting their skin,
because they can't
cut the soul.

They feel so useless,
out of place,
and out of control.
Sending their pics,
to guys they don't know.
Or worse.

How do you fall,
for someone so selfish,
who just says:
"Make me feel good!"
and why you do?

And what you do!
Why can't you stop!
This is not love.
Just an abuse.
Just an abuse.

Happy 4/20 everyone!

How you make me feel?
You make me feel
like the sun rises just for me
like the wind whispers in my ear
"I love you"

You make my heart
race so fast
with every word
and it almost stops
at the end of line

And I'm afraid
that one day
there'll be just blank page
in a box
with your name.

******* The Wing

She helps selfishly, she gives everything,
even to those who don't give back,
even to those who have nothing left,
even to strangers like me.

She cares about everybody,
even about people that hurt her,
even about people that don't know her,
even starving kids in Africa she loves like closest friends.

She is such a talented writer as well!
Her poems are emails of heart,
such emotions in rhythm and rhymes.
I wonder how she could be so awesome.

She is a God's gift,
most beautiful object in the universe,
she is an angel on earth,
and this is no praise - just stating the facts.