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eb Dec 2014
I wish I could
fall in love
and turn into
a constellation
eb Feb 2016
Why am I doing this?
2. Will I ever get thin?
3. How to say no to McDonald's fries?
4. Does love last?
5. Why bother?
6. Am I dying soon?
7. Why are they like that?
8. Will we ever talk again?
9. What is an artist anyway?
10. How long 'till I eat again?
11. Am I meant to have a life partner?
12. What now?
At 23, here are my questions for the universe.
eb Oct 2015
hits me
before my heart beats the floor
I rise, awake, alive

there is always hope
throbs, sobs through these veins
I rest, forget, regret
eb Mar 2016
Her skin is cold,
much, much colder than ice.
Her cheeks frozen,
unnerving.

Her eyes
deep, deep black
with that stagnant stare.
She blinks.
Only for a second, she blinks.

Her lips crack
as she speaks
- nothing comes out.
Darkness enters

Fear is real.
I face her everyday.
She stares back at me
I try to look away.

No escape.
Never escape.
Run, run
as fast as you can
eb Nov 2015
I, too, am lost
but without you,
it hurts even
to breathe.
eb Nov 2015
high, low, lift, drag
the day has come
every moment a haze
high, low, lift, drag
my muscles tingle
all alone and single
high, low, lift, drag
the air whispers, "Move!"
crash screamed the wave
high, low, lift, drag
onward, forward and be brave
race you to the grave
eb Feb 2015
This is a decisive moment;
and I am not here.
Why do I keep moving;
in water that does not?
eb Oct 2015
as the night
an endless plight --
too afraid to fight
darkness shines bright

gush and grow
lovers in a row --
fly; fly on blow
hush, hush on the phone

escape every night
get high; get low
a quick midnight delight --
run; *
run on home
eb Nov 2014
is letting go
is moving on
is a cliche romcom plot line

means giving up
means running away
means losing us

is all those things
is leaving my everything
is accepting nothing
is what I need
eb Sep 2015
Will do:

anything
everything
something

To have:
you
us

...Again
eb Apr 2016
how do you know
you're not in love
with the idea of
love?
eb Aug 2014
breathes come,
numbness follows,
but nothing,
yet everything;
                         same but different

slow ringing sounds,
melodies overhead,
silent,
yet chaotic;
                         same but different

anger,
longing,
denial,
surrender,
                   ­      same but different

unspoken words,
sporadic gestures,
screaming laughters,
hugs and goodbyes
                         same but different
I will be sad forever;
and a day;
deeply
eb Feb 2014
For all her life eve walked alone
Blindly searching for her home
In darkness she roamed
As daybreak came she moaned

Whizzing, whirring the sounds pass
She wondered how long time will last
Her journey is the destination.
02/01/14
eb Feb 2015
f
    a
         l
              l
                   i
                        n
                               g
              

                                                                                  *as you are walking away
eb Sep 2014
I am air;
I am everywhere.

I am the breeze in the trees,
I am the moving clouds above,
I am the wind,
dancing as I pass

I am air;
I am everywhere.

I expand;
I decompress;
I warm;
I cool;

I am air;
I am everywhere.

I am the breathe in you,
I am the swirling feeling in your stomach,
I am the oxygen,
encompassing every part of you.

I am air;
I am everywhere.

I am in the heavens,
I am in the balloons,
I am in the rivers,
I am in the reeds,

I am air;
I am everywhere.

I am invisible,
but I am there.
I am nowhere,
but I am everywhere.
eb Nov 2015
We are creatures,
we are created,
we are creators.

We are chaos emodied,
change in form,
curiosity with compassion

We are everything,
we are nothing,
we are surviving.

We are over,
gone before dawn,
emptied and spilled.

We are time,
we are change,
we are moving.

We are more;
better than the good,
exactly where we ought to be.
eb Sep 2014
She doesn't understand,
He doesn't understand,
They don't understand,
No one understands,

the crying,
the suffering,
the constant conversations,
the loneliness.

Overwhelming anger comes over me,
She says she is trying, "trying her best",
"But its not enough to try, sometimes," I want to say,
"I want you to help or get help.", That is what I want.

But no,
she doesn't hear,
he doesn't hear,
no one hears.

the silence,
the noise,
the pain,
the depression.
ifs
eb Dec 2014
ifs
if this is life,
if this is true,
if this is real,
if this is care,
if this is love,

its not.
eb Jan 2016
give yourself a *chance
eb Mar 2016
I should sleep;
birds almost chirping,
daylight threatens about
but my eyes do not droop.

I should sleep;
but my heart beats furiously.
I have not forgotten.

I should sleep;
even owls have fallen,
winds slowing down
but my spirit remains restless.

I should sleep;
but my mind won't let me.
I remember.
eb Apr 2016
but the idea of you
I love, *I think
eb Oct 2015
the skies empty
the seas are full
of memories
long forgotten

when all I need
is for you to
**listen
eb Dec 2014
a cold night breeze
surrounds us; she holds my hand
i feel nothing, but im here
she doesn't understand
eb Dec 2014
i've been wondering
how is it i'm still here;

**alive
eb Dec 2014
i don't wanna be
in the in between.
eb Mar 2015
Not knowing the right words
to express entirely how this feels,
I cry.

In the middle of the night,
as I go through the day,
whether its for work or play,
I stop.

When uncertainty isn't enough,
and every conversation is tough,
I breakdown.

Because there is nothing left,
and nothing will ever feel right;
For I lost,
and I am loss.
eb Dec 2014
lights flickering in the distance
what are you doing?
i lay awake
thinking, crying

a cold breeze passes by
do you think of me?
i'm wondering why
maybe, maybe

the sun is rising
will you be back?
sitting here hoping, no, wishing
i'm right on track
eb Dec 2014
after all this time,
its still you

its always you
eb Dec 2014
i really did love you
but you were an addict


and i am more than a cure
eb Dec 2014
moonlight shines
a conversation
splashing waves
a kiss goodnight
eb Jan 2014
inner circles
Warm nights, Cool covers, serene muscles

outlanders
Cool nights, warm covers, throbbing muscles


your life
clean windows, open doors, soft beds

my life
broken windows, slamming doors, broken beds


possibilities
you, me, apart

*impossibilities
us, we, together
Two people living life through one moment, "what could've been?"
eb Nov 2015
I had everything I wanted
-- I wanted the wrong things.
eb Jul 2014
I can't;
think/
feel/
sleep/
eat/
breathe/

past/
since/
without/
within/

yesterday/
us/
you/
the emptiness.
eb Dec 2014
A clock ticking
constantly. I'm trying --
forgetting, but not. It's ok.
eb Feb 2015
i don't want this anymore, it begins
I've lost count how many times it has played.
The day just started but I must have gone through the whole album thrice.
Her smile flashes in my mind. Its only a split second but the tears are already pouring
Why does this keep happening?

There are three notifications on my phone, maybe, that will keep my mind distracted. The first message is from my teacher he needs my palette by today and I can't afford missing another deadline. The next is a spam message selling me a car for 5k a month, I delete it immediately.
And then I stop, my heart skips a beat.
For a moment, I thought it was her number.
Why would she message me?

I'm still incomplete*, it ends
The song plays for one last time as the sun peaks through the blinds
and I get ready for breakfast and the long day ahead.
eb Apr 2014
a verb
a lie
a figment of the truth

an excuse to make face
an unacceptable character
an immovable force

not me
not you
no one
What is nice anyway?
eb Apr 2014
"Hi there, Welcome!",
she exclaimed;
"Just passing through"
he whispered.
eb Mar 2016
Go where you are needed.

Stay where are wanted.
eb Mar 2013
For you, I'll write every word
Listen to songs you've heard

With you, I could close my eyes
Forgave all the schemes and lies


For you, I'll battle the undead
Take precaution of your head

Beside you, I learned to cry
For nothing was perfect in this life


For you, I'll get up from bed
Make sure you're always fed

With this, I wish for nothing
*as I dreamed of everything
eb Feb 2016
Places are times
People are places
You are time
eb Nov 2015
A look, that look, reaches my core.
Words.
Your words, still echo in the chambers of my soul.
I wish I could be happy in this silence
but it is you, it is you
I seek.
Your chaos calms me.
Your absence shatters me.
eb Nov 2014
I was so high I didn't recognise
the message you've always been saying,
the fire burning in your eyes
while I kept talking, screaming and crying.

Come on just last the year
are words I've been repeating,
pour a little salt we were never here
I hear you singing as you were sleeping.

Just come over and lie here with me
Were you lying?
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I was crying.

Goodbye, my hopeless dream*
I kept repeating, and
I'm trying not to think about you
until tomorrow morning.
While listening to songs sang by them, this poem came.
eb Feb 2014
I'm the cat inside the box.
I don't know what the world outside is
I'm trapped in my box
Rescue me

I'm the silenced voice
I'm stuck knowing nothing beyond these walls
With the square and the monotone
Hear me

I'm you
I fear the box
I fear the cat
Fear me
Three personas inspired by Schrodinger's cat
eb Oct 2015
Fearful of the future,
Regretful of the past;
As for the present,
How long will this last?
(a rhyme)
eb May 2014
Here I am;
trying to welcome imagination,
asking reality to take a pause,
waiting for familiarity among sweeping glances.

I am stuck;
climbing up and down the cruel ropes life,
grasping for air & light,
succumbing to the darkness.

I wonder;
where the sounds come from,
when silence will come back,
searching for harmony among the noise.

And I am lost again;
in the vast vague plain,
through cycles of happiness & loneliness,
wandering all alone constantly risking flight or fall.
Part 1 of 2
eb Jun 2014
Can't be seen,
Can't be touched,
Can't be smelled,
But it's there

Constant & consistent,
it grows.
Powerful & persistent,
it revels.

is everywhere:
In my heart,
In my mind,
In my daily life.


takes over life,
takes over people,
demands death,
demands people.
eb Feb 2016
Slow* down
          understand your pain
                                         be present, be *now
eb Nov 2015
You are poetry to hold,
as bright as the moon above,
with every drip, a drop
until it sinks in...love.
you don't have *enough
eb Sep 2014
If love is not ***,
then what is between us?
eb Mar 2016
Aware, I am
of the burden -
it beats, it breaks
a silence.

Aware, I am
of the whispers -
it grows, it hums
to darkness.

Aware, I am
of the shadows -
it shines, it shimmers
to dawn

Aware, I am
of the nothingness -
it is me, it is I
until death
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