i'd like
to think
that
i am
on your mind
too

but i'd
just be
fooling
myself

i fell
in love
with
imaginations
instead
of falling
in love
with you

why the heck
am i
smiling
that hard
when
i see
a notification
from
you?

the words
of honesty,
of truth

burned
like hell
on my tongue

but i've
always loved
the smell
of fire

so i
didn't care

lately
girls are
more attractive
to me

because
no boy
can come close
to him

and whilst
she was
just a crush

he is
the first
i was really
in love with


and maybe
i still am

those looks
those smirks
those laughs
those signs that you could like me

are getting me to
overthink
&
daydream
&
fantasize

and then
there's the fact
that
you have a girlfriend

and my dreams
burst
as if
they are
nothing.

and, well,
they kinda are

you just
                   show interest
in me
        when
you are
        lonely

   don't you?

tell me

who crosses
your mind
when you are
laying awake
listening to
your favorite songs?

whose smile
flashes before
your eyes?

and
whose eyes
meet you
in your dreams?

you told me
that you
hate to be
left on 'read'

and yet
you do
the exact
same thing

it's like a drug, isn't it?

to daydream
about this one person

to daydream
about the future you could have

to daydream
without considering
that you can't have that

it's a drug, isn't it?

if anyone who
knows my identity
would read my poems
i would be ******

because
i am not ready
to show the world
my darkest secrets
and
deepest desires
when it would
also know
my face

i heard
you asked
about me

you asked when
we will see
each other
again

and i said
'soon'
as if
it was
completely
normal

that you
asked
about me

do you know that feeling?

the feeling where your throat aches
because it is tightening?

the feeling where your neck hurts
because you start to stiffen?

the feeling where you can't speak
because your throat's to dry and tight?

the feeling where your eyes burn
because you hold back your tears?


don't do that to youself.
don't hold back your emotions.

you're allowed to cry.
you're allowed to feel emotions.

because what makes us human
are feelings and weaknesses.
don't let society turn you into a robot.

feel everything.
the pain, the happiness, really everything.

and then do your thing.
no matter what "your thing" is.
do it.
stronger, than ever before.

my eyes
burn

my face
is a hurting
grimace

my chest
trembles from
sobbing

but the tears
won't fall

i recognized how
you stared at me
while
i wasn't
looking at you

i also recognized
the smile on your lips
while
looking at me

and you have
no idea
how happy
you made me
because of
that gaze
and
that smile

maybe
i am more
in love
with
the thought
of being
in love

than actually
being in love
with
someone

hope
is a
terrible thing

it keeps you alive
and
nourishes you

until
it strikes
you down
with
one single blow

is it just me
or
does your smile
get cuter
every time
i see you?

they always say
'go out
meet new people
you'll fall
in love again
when you
forget them'

but they
never tell you
how to forget them

the way
my arm rested
on your shoulders

the way
you looked
at me

and the way
we talked
about everything

could have made
one believe
we are close friends
maybe even more


but we were
just two drunken
looking for closeness
secureness and
a friend in the night
when
everyone else
was already
asleep

i always
miss
the right
moment
for
a split second

now we aren't
'just two drunken
looking for closeness
secureness and
a friend in the night
when
everyone else
was already asleep'
anymore

now
we are
more like
acquaintances

on the best way
to become
friends

as much as i
loved dancing
with you

i also loved
the talk
on the bench
by the lake
and
the talk
in this little bar
when everyone else
was already
asleep

i hope
to have
moved on

because
what is
the point
is
holding onto
one-sided
feelings?

i hate
to see
someone dear
to me
hurting

because i know
that i can't
do anything
to make it
better

the only thing
i can try
is to be
there to listen

We are children of the internet
slowly forgetting how it was
without social media

We are children of the internet
learning a false image of reality

We are children of the internet
being told we have to be perfect

We are children of the internet
being bullied by faces we will never see

We are children of the internet
hiding behind screens

We are victims of modern technology
We are victims of progress


We are the children of the internet

i am
happy for you
don't get me wrong

but honestly

i am
a bit jealous

because i want
somebody
to feel about me
the way
he does about you

if we were
the only people
in the world

would you
at least
love me
then?

it is
so much easier
to talk
to him

since
i don't care
anymore
if he feels
something
for me

sometimes
you won't
understand me

i am a writer
sometimes
i'd rather be
in the world
i imagine
than in the
real world

i am a poet
sometimes
i'd rather be
alone
with my feelings


sometimes
you won't
understand me

please
respect that

She is
like the sun

Often
beaming
but
mostly alone

I am
like the moon

Hiding in
the shadows
but
surrounded
by many

So tell me,
could an
us
work?

maybe
in a few
years

we will be
right
for each other


but till then
I'll have
to move on

your green eyes
were fixed
on the screen

and you
were listening
to your favorite songs


my brown eyes
tried to
catch yours

and i were
listening absently
to my friends
and the song
that reminds me
of you

there are people
who have
something
intoxicating
about them

something
mysterious
and
dangerous

and sadly
most of them
are
the most broken

they'll be
hurting others
just as much as
they are hurting

be lenient
with them

because pain
is what
they know best

staring at the stars,
grinning,
dreaming,
thinking 'bout you

closing
my eyes

feeling
the soft screeches
of baby birds
and
the rustling
of the trees
in the winnd

finding
inner peace
and
calm

Poems written
late at night
are always
the most honest

Because
late at night
the overthinkers
are way to sleepy
to filter their words

Only then they truly
don’t longer speak
with their mind
but
with their heart

you're narrower & taller
but
you're smile's not smaller

Maybe this something is the way he’s trying to make me laugh.
Like when he makes a joke and waits for my reaction.
Or when he moves along with music with the awareness, that it looks funny.
And I think that’s really sweet.  

I mean… he’s such a ******. But it’s sweet.

i fell
asleep
with
my tiring
thoughts
and
soft raindrops
pounding
against
glass

sometimes
my heart
wants to tell
my friends
about me

but my head
is still
stronger

and my anxiety
may be irrelevant
but
it's still there

what should be
will come
and if
it doesn't come
then it just shouln't be

but in my heart
i still hope
that
someday
there will be
shared feelings
between us

i should have
listened
to what
the professor
was saying

i should have
watched
what he
was showing us

but instead

i listened to you
to the little rhythm
you played
on the drums

and i watched
the way
your hands
danced
over them

my head
and
my heart
are in a
merciless war

i always
go to bed
hoping
that i dream

cause in my dreams
it is you
i meet

cause in my dreams
i can live
what i imagine

cause in my dreams
you feel
the same way
i do

so when i
wake up
i am disappointed
that my dream
had to end

i am
losing sleep
because
i rather
dream of you