He doesn't care
He's fighting for you
All I ask is for some stability
Not asking you to ignore the number 15
I'm tired of searching
It's been too many times
Too many lips
Too many sad rhymes
And I'm tired of fighting
And not being fought for
I want to give up
I wanna knock on heavens door
I entered this hell I call home too young
I'm addicted to touch
I'm on and off numb
I miss my first lover
I'm ******* dumb

Drugs and thugs
Nightmares and hugs
All we do is get ****** up
Maybe it's a turn of luck
We'll regret it later but I wanna live for now
It's just *** and makeout
Our lives are ******* fun

;and I'm tired
I'm so ******* tired
The stress, the mess, the guess
Where are you?
Why don't we love eachother?
Why do we only come intact when we're lonely?
I'm afraid of commitment yet fear change
A part of me knows that you'll always be here
A deadbeat
Going nowhere fast just trying to make enough cash
And I guess I'm a deadbeat as well
No major goals
Minimal motivation
We're both so impure
I'm so unsure
It's never awkward
Even when we're smoking cigarettes at 2:00 am naked in the moonlight
Ah
Relief
Long enough to keep us alive but short enough not to **** us

Eyes like panes of glass
Cut me to pieces
With every fist full of hair and moan for more
I think my favorite song is just a track of our heavy breathing
And the instrumentals are the sound of sweat pooling on your chest
Trace my lips with your finger tips
Look me in the eye
Cut me like glass
Our bodies together is all I ask

I built a home between his hip bones
Though I don't visit all too often
It is a sanctuary
Not the only one but my first true sin
Bruised skin
Flesh on flesh
I swear god put him on this earth just as a test
To watch me give in
Again and again
I can't say no
I can't pretend
You found my frail self screaming, crying on your bathroom floor
We spilt the the wine of life
You striped me of my bile covered clothes
Dragged me to shower
You sat there stroking my head for what felt like 24 hours
Oh the taste of relapse
Smells of cigarettes and silence
Feels like hitting the wall and then being buried under the bricks
In and out in and out
Regain consciousness
Look in the mirror
Take another hit
Breathe
Sitting in that dimly lit room full of mirrors and couches
Memories, more memories
We sat together, limbs entangled
We thanked god for that white powder
We cursed at lucifer for our delicate addiction
Inhale
Feel the burn
Wow
"I missed you so much"
Maybe once again I'll visit the home between your hips
And we'll fall in love again
Oh the taste of relapse
So bitter sweet

Replaying that moment in my head
Our first kiss
I was so numb
I couldn't feel a ******* thing
I laid back and closed my eyes
My body so weak
You wrapped your arm around me
The only safety I had felt in a long while
You were wine drunk
I could taste the alcohol on your tongue
I now remeber how I felt;
Pathetic, ever so young
I loved the scent of your skin
You smelt like home after a long day at work
You were my home
My resting place
I'm homeless now
You dug my grave
I'm six feet under and you don't even give a ****
*******.

In this small town you'll visit many places, see new faces and learn how to get all kinds of ****** up
You'll visit these basements and lofts
You'll make lots of friends
You'll create a lot of enemies
For we're all teenagers
Throwing our twenties at the stars
Checking each other's wrists
Comparing the number of stars to scars
At one point or another you'll give in
At one point you'll do everything your mother prayed about and swore you'd never do
Next thing you know you'll be 3 lines deep and sitting on a strangers lap
Four months later you won't be strangers anymore
Four months later ******* is just a new normal in your life
A year later you'll be kicked out of your parents house
A year later you'll be screaming and crying and listening to every sad song that's ever been written and compare  it to you
These are all the things you'll experience
As we wave hello and scream "Welcome to Bridge-City baby"
Because we are the survivors
With many problems and too many lovers
We are the kids who stay up all night and mosh to metal music till we collapse
For we are the kids they call sad and hopeless
Yet we're full of love and full of drugs
Yet there's never a dull moment and there's always someone laughing
We'll give you a new place to call home
We'll make you or break you
Welcome to Bridge-City baby
Buildings built of drugs and loud music
Home

It's scary to know that you're no longer an option
It's terrifying to think that it's just me and my habits
It's comforting knowing these pills with this drink will put me into a deep sleep

I am not afraid of you, I am afraid I will never get to love you again

It all started out fine
The most unique bunch of people I've ever had the privilege of meeting are reunited
First snow fall
We smoke in large numbers, we openly express our love for one another
I am in love
Expired cards scrap the surfaces of mirrors, everyone's snorting something
Facing fears
One on one we discuss our issues, our vices
A few get angry, no blood shed
A couple begin to fight, many tears shed
I find myself spinning, I find myself between both my ex's and my ex best friend
We are at peace together even though we struggle to find peace when alone
Morning comes and no one has slept
The rooms cold
Eyes like sunken ships and black holes
We see things we don't want to see
We find out things we didn't want to know
It all started with smoking in numbers, now it's a shaky home

Everyday is another day
To either repeat my mistakes or consider forgetting this hate
But everyday I wake up and think of two things
First I think of him
Then I think of you
And I'm sorry my heads out of order
Excuse me for crossing these borders
But I still love him
Can I be infatuated with two?
I'd say yes
Because I'll love you both forever
Though we don't talk I can't let you escape my mind for you are every unanswered question I've ever asked and you are every cell I've left unexplored
Meanwhile
You
I love you as of the current
And I've known this for a long while
But I've sailed every inch of your sea and left a trail of small bruises and remanimts of red lipstick
But I don't want you to leave
I'm just afraid I'll go forever without knowing what he'd be like
Afraid of the unknown
Because with you I am home
With you I am free
But when I exit that ******* door it's him
**** I hate how it's always him and never home
But I love you of the current
And I'm sorry
Don't let me go
Don't leave me stranded in this bed without that well memorized map most call a mind, body and soul
I'm only 15
Why do I feel so old?

I can taste the ******* drips, an IV of memories, a life line
I can feel my nose bleeding, I begin to laugh, why me?
Is it getting hard to explain to your parents what you did last night? Do you hold back? Do they even care?
Mine don't seem to give a ****
My mother asked me why there's black circles around my eyes, asked why I seem to be on edge, why I'm never home
A lot of questions
I don't like to say much, I'd rather just do
I'm more of a slap you across the face kind of girl, or a dance away from the smell of hate kind of life enthusiast
Sometimes I wish I cared
Most days I'm glad I don't

Laying naked in bed
Confusion filled heads
Your moaning sounded like Gods voice
Reminding me that I'd one day visit hell
And when you left me
I finally understood what he was talking about

I can hear the floor boards whispering my name
It's a soft lament of every sad thought my brains ever created
I give in
I can hear you screaming in the other room
Asking me why I always do this
You're yelling
Telling me we have 90$ to our name so you're gunna go out and buy me something strong that'll make me forget
But with every line I only feel more inclined
To go back to the bathroom
And rest my ear against that linoleum floor
And hear everything sweet they ever said to me right before they left
Because I know it doesn't lie
And I know it'll swallow me whole
And maybe if I do it enough I won't feel so awful
For I'll get used to them loving me then slamming on the breaks and unhinging my seat beat just to watch me fly through the glass and lose sight of myself in the floating ash

One day in a casual conversation I was asked what I would consider the best day of my life
I couldn't answer right away
Memories poured into my head but there were gaps and holes and missing information
A week later I was driving down the road in the passenger seat, the road we took that one day, the day we started holding hands again
I found the answer
The day you picked me up from my house in your moms car and we drove to that small beach and smoked cigarettes
The day I was terrified I'd **** something up
The day we got coffee and just drove and I mostly listened to you talk
The day we went to that other beach and laid on the concrete just past the sand and you rested your head on my stomach and I played with your hair and thought about how long it's been since we last kissed
It was that day you took the long way home and you pulled over the car just past the grave yard and you gave me that look and you kissed me
It was that day that you told me it was hard for you not to hold me

Just another girl
Thought she'd never hold the world
Mildly inasane, very plain
The lion (my lover) broke me from my pack
I never wanted to look back
He was my all
I finally held the world, a lion, a king (him)
But I wasn't his queen for long
His heart was occupied with thoughts of his previous lover
The night he left I became stressed, deeply depressed
Couldn't stop crying long enough to get dressed
I was just the wounded
The weak
I had nothing yet gave you my everything
I am nothing without him
A queen is nothing without her king

Every other issue
A love that consumed me

This is goodbye
Petrified

Weak and tired
I've spent more than a few weeks feeling weak and tired

I am ill
In more ways then one
I feel pain
Sometimes none

My vices are killing me
My body can't handle them like it used to

I am growing older
I am drifting away

Dreading every ******* day
Hoping for the best

Waking up every morning knowing I'm already dead
Letting the pain leave my chest

Covering my scars, hiding this massive hole in my heart
Taking a deep breathe, baby steps

Lighting up a cigarette, told myself I'd quit last week
Staring myself in the mirror, telling myself I'll be brilliant

Crying in the car, rambling on about some awful **** that I did
Starting the conversation, never letting my mind wander

Walking through the halls, dwelling on the past, dwelling on how bad the future will be
Sitting at this desk, knowing I am intelligent, letting myself be brave

Hiding in the bathroom, I am never enough
Talking to myself, I've come this far

Drinking myself to death, glass half empty
Putting down the bottle, knowing the answers don't lie at the bottom

Taking my demons to bed, letting the things he told me burry themselves in my skin
Laying down, accepting what the day has brought

The lack isn't enough
The absence of another set of hands is proving to be tough
No ones asked me how I'm doing for quite awhile
I remember your bed
I remember how much we didn't care about each other's pasts or the lingering of our own deadly thoughts
If you are the golf course and I am the rain then I'd like to go back to that night and remember how it felt to be completely ****** up and utterly insane
But I'm tired
No
I'm exhausted
A year ago I was not alone
I had dug a hole in a boys heart and filled it with suicidal thoughts and unanswered questions, both his and my own, and destroyed myself while calling it "love"
I think I was hiding
Using him as a mask
Because I was terrified and needed someone to provide me with a flask and cigarette addiction
The past is the past
But the past is all I have
The present is proving to be boring and the futures a *****
I guess I'll just be alone for now
Get dragged by the snow drifts and mesmorized by the wind
Stand out in the freezing snow and think about how I never feel warm anymore
Cause when I'm alone I'm cold to the core
Bored

I start to look more like her everyday

As my eyes sink further
Create black holes for under eye circles

Every cigarette I smoke creates a more defined pore

Every meal I skip

Every man I sleep with

I am becoming my enemy
I have been her all along
So alike yet so different
I don't want to give in

Repeating the words "I know what it's like without you and I hate it" over and over and over again in my head
But the words someone how change to "I know what it's like without you and I'm scared" they are both the same thing I guess
Whispering over and over and over again to my ceiling "I don't want you to go I don't want you to go I don't want you to go"

Your eyes won't leave my head

There's a list of all the people who left and I keep writing your name down and then crossing it off
It's been too many times now
You should have stayed away
I learned to cope without seeing your face
I thought I'd be fine if I never saw you again
I knew it was a lie
Do you know what it's like to live on a shelf?
Do you understand your reality?
Do you wake up alone every morning and wonder what made you so weak?

I'm sixteen, I have a ****** ******* reputation that I managed to make for myself in an attempt to find my people
And yeah, I found my people
But the important ones are leaving
And I'm so ******* scared

The past two years taught me that they always come back
When you see someone you used to love, friendship or relationship
It's impossible not to miss them when u feel lonely
But when they move away
And they no longer see your face
They will forget you
They will not come back
They will move on

I was everything
I am nothing

I'm listening to the band you showed me
I'm remembering that day
In your bed
When I didn't know where we stood, but I knew it was too far away

I'm wearing my ex boyfriends shirt while telling you that when summers over I'm never going to feel loved again, cruelly ironic

Did I mention I was scared?

I love dead Beats cause they never leave so they never forget
My ex has a girlfriend but he told me it's gunna end
He told me that he misses me
And I've spent a lot of nights losing my mind because he's gone
Because I thought he didn't miss me
But apparently it's impossible to ignore someone in a town of 1600 people even in the middle of summer and everyone seems so alike

I want to fast forward to the future, see what it brings for you and I

That night by the falls last month, when you were crying and I was too scared to cry, you said you can't picture yourself in the future, implied you don't have one
I held your hand
I avoided your eyes

I told you it'd all work out, not having a single clue

That was the time I should have told you I loved you
Before we ******
Before I was hit with the reality of you leaving
When you really needed to know it

I'm sorry

We are meant to be
This bed; the sea
Two voyageurs; you and me
Connection is the wind that fuels the sails
Memories hold this ship together

****** after ******
Wave after wave

Leaning here
Hoping to have a moment
Realization
Clarity
Bring to me; a piece of mind
If God exists I'm begging
If Ghandi grants wishes
If I can please ******* find some peace
Or even just a piece
Something to hold onto, someone to hold my hand
Because truth is I'm scared
Truth is I'm holding my heart, griping my keyboard, hugging my mind
They don't tell u how real it is
Always gotta learn the hard way
I don't even know what I'm writing about
I'm just laying here; laying here trying to stay woke, stay free, stay alive
I went to school today and didn't do to class
I stared in a boys eyes, told him I'm not gone
Keeping in touch, seems a bit to much
Seems like I'm fighting myself
Everyday I'm struggling
Fear and doubt
I will prevail I will not fail
I have nothing to prove, I shall own up my sins
I shall caress every acquaintance; in a home that feels safe, where we aren't afraid
Clenching my jaw, body like a suttle current, with a mind like a hurricane
I shall not fail myself
I shall not let myself go
I shall not hate
I'm never giving in, not headed to that golden gate

We lay
So close yet so far away
I can only parts of you
The cracks in the blinds light up the room
We are silent
Can you feel the tension?
The sweet smell of cigarettes floats around us
Picture perfect
We are silent
We are tired
We are nothing but enemies

I swear I can feel you in my lungs
Like when I'm stressed and take a long drag on a cheap cigarette
Relief
Maybe you're the reason I need relief
But I'll stay in denial for the sake of us
For the sake of my addiction
Maybe the cigarettes are just a metaphor
I'm too young either way

Stuck on the last and my confusing past
Gave him my heart and pretended it was poetic art
But now I've found a new canvas
Nothing personal, just the sound of flesh against flesh
No common interests
Nothing deep
Just bruised skin and mortal sin
It wasn't love
It wasn't lust
Just two lonely bodies

I've always been the one who gets what i want but never what I need
Underwater with my sunken ship and drunken crew of sailors, silenced beneath the waves
Here on the sand, I wait for you
Swimming through the wreckage and all of my unfix-able mistakes
Just wanna hear those sweet words and watch you give in, drown in my sea
Re-define love on the horizon for all the watching world to be jealous of
Tell me you'll stay forever, wash my body of these sins
Sail to me, love me like I love the sea

Waiting for the weekend is not longer an option
Anticipating a pay cheque is no longer just waiting to go shopping
The freedom that comes along with sobriety is no longer an option

Sobriety has never been my strong suit nor something I am ready to achieve

Lines and parachutes are the ropes that hold me together
But they are also pulling me apart

It's Tuesday morning and I arrive at school with my sunglasses on feeling both nothing and everything at once
Overwhelmed with the fear of being found out but at the same time afraid no one will find out
The damage I've done and continue doing can be stopped
But not without my minds consent and my nervous systems support
Both are severely lacking and attacking what little I do have left

Getting high on the weekend at parties used to be fun
Now I can barely feel the high even after several pills and lines

Sobriety is a group effort and not all the parts of my mind are open to the idea

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

Maybe you're afraid you're dying
Maybe we're all lying
Sometimes I think I'm well but then I return to my same ******* hell
I created this hell in my bones
I can only escape for short moments in time
Now all I can think about is my death
And your name exiting my mouth with my last breath

She sleeps with a razor blade when she's hungover. She makes a game out of every sad thing. She's not as afraid as she should be but its fine because she's living on the streets.

Not once has she been spotted shedding a tear, or screaming for no good reason. Her fists shake with fury when she can't fall asleep, her lips tremble when she can't decide wether or not to eat.

She has a habit of not choosing just one, a room full of ex lovers. Who would be stupid enough to choose some love and not it all?

She is 16 but has lived many lives and bent her back a million different ways just to try to fit the curriculum of wherever she may be.

She usually sleeps alone at night and struggles to release any pain she is feeling

She watches boys break their knuckles against lockers and other metal things. She causes many problems, has passion for sleeping around and getting into bad things

She struggles to make up her mind, commit to non spontaneous things. Has a a bad reputation and doesn't care about enough of these things

I am 16,
My name is Josephine and I am afraid of dying and not knowing the answer to things

;and now she sits alone at lunch
With her coffee and cheap cigarette
With a mind full of past friends and tainted lovers
With a fear of forever being alone
But with enough optimism to continue
Because things have changed before
For better and for worse
And I guess that's why she's alone here today
Because of a series of changes that killed her mind, her hope and her vibe

It's like when you're ****** and forget that you're cold
Everyone's way too sensitive
If you don't do anything when you're young you won't have anything to talk about when you're old
I hear the bell charming, an eerie sound
Smoking yet another cigarette
Tonic water to ***** ratio is off
Unforgettable Saturday nights
Been on this binge since last Monday
Can't get it together, not sure I want to
Just because I'm snorting my savings account doesn't mean I can't understand the things I'm seeing with these wide eyes
Fiends at the door, girls crying on the bathroom floor
My boyfriends ten years older than me but age doesn't matter because it's pretty easy to hate anyone
Everyone's telling me to quit while I'm ahead but I can't seem to feel anything or understand their concern
I'm not a drug addict I'm a party enthusiast
Tell my mother I love her

I only like boys with no morals
Hanging out with people I hate
Even though I met them 10 minutes ago
Weeds like an extra life in Mario
"Is it the ***** or the taint"
Angry coke addicts
I understand you're scared
I think you're ******
The way my fingers tremble over the beat and forget to listen to my favourite parts
Another one of our goodbyes, a quiet goodnight
It's really hard to always get what you want but never what you need
My actions affect me more than you, don't be selfish

He was my god
I'd pray for us
He was always the answer
He got me through
Now he's gone
I'm not sure who to give my faith to now

Empty lighters and broken matches
We made promises to ourselves when we were young
Told ourselves what we'd never become
But we need to **** the pain
Destroy our brains
In smoke filled rooms
Surrounded by the sound of flesh against flesh
Falling in love with strangers
Telling ourselves it's time to quit
Only to light one up the next day
We love our boys
We love our drugs
Destroying our bodies
I guess that's what us youth do
To remember; to forget
All at once
Or all together

Promised myself I'd keep it innocent
At least for awhile
But like the greater Gods I gave into temptation
Skin agaisnt skin
The most delightful of sins
We're not in love
I don't even know your last name
We're ******* just to feel
Now you and I have a past
You're the name at the bottom of my glass
We only talk when it's convenient for you
Or when we're drunk after having a few
We have nothing in common
Just a mind full of past lovers and a history of sad ***
Line after line she'll get off his mind and then my body will be on his
In between sheets like a man in between homes
I'm not the one
Not even his number one
Maybe it's fate maybe it's my lonely mind looking for a mate
It's not love
It's not lust
We collect together like dust
The rusted parts of us beat in unity at the peak
But we don't see eye to eye
I can't remember how we started to speak
Will we ever say goodbye for good?

How can I just break it off
Leave everyone who loves me or didn't love me enough behind
There is a weight on my chest the size of your dark room
Filled with both of our pain and self doubt
I can't react
My rock is slowly sinking and my mind is over thinking
There is no gasp for air, no final fight, no goodbye
When did it end for you?
When did you realize my silence was too loud for you to put up with?
How many years till I can light up a cigarette and not feel this lack?
I am trying
I am pulling myself apart attempting to be what you want not just what you need
I remember the fire
The spark that follows the reconnect of two intellects like the window in your bedroom versus the brick on my chest
We are the heavy weight champs
I am the used and abused
The silent "I love you's" I drew on your back while you were fast asleep; lonely

We went from being in love to not being able to look at each other
We went from telling each other we loved one another during *** to not being able to stand in the same room together
We went from sitting in bed at 4 am eating peanuts to not eating at all
We went from brushing our teeth in the shower together to not being able to touch each other's lips
You're the only one whose told me they loved me
You're the only one I don't feel a need to hold onto any longer

My skin appears to becoming paper thin
Yet I am no coward, feel no fear
I am a warrior with a razor blade and an army of bad memories
A captain who's forgot how to steer and a crew full of drunks
The light has not been taken from my eyes, I am simply too strange to do anything rational
I wouldn't mind if for the rest of my life I only slept with the sheep
I wouldn't mind if for the rest of my life I was free
They say it's easiest to conquer in numbers but I'd rather just fight my battles alone

The pause while passionate kissing is a painful one
Millimetres away from your tongue
Feeling your exhale on my lower lip
Our tongues meet again
Relief

I'm all empty smoke packs while he's chain smoking without offering me a drag

Nothing more than coffins
French kiss
Ignorance
Bliss

I told him I wanted to feel whole again
I asked him to set me free
Nothing louder than a whisper while he's fast asleep

All I feel is pain
No
All I feel is nothing

I'm left sitting in my room wondering who discovered attraction
Who first felt the need to touch their lips against another's
Who fumbled in the dark and discovered the power of naturally produced dopamine

Will I ever escape his grasp?
Will I ever feel whole without his lips no more than a millimetre away?
I sit and I wonder

This is a sickeness
This is an obsession

I've experimented with drugs but I've yet to find a rock that gets me this high nor has such confusingly addictive qualities

Like the day after Molly depression I feel the weight of your absence
Although I inhale it often
Both your skin and these pills
I will never be okay with the loneliness that I feel while away from both drugs and him

I often picture myself at your front door
Crying
Screaming
Begging for more

My last relationship was no more than use and abuse
And all I've ever wanted was calm and gentle touch
He understands
He understands so well
Accepts my tears, indecisiveness,  loud words and fear of physical contact while sober

I can't do this alone
I'm waiting in a line and I'm scared and I'm quiet
I'm waiting for the next time you'll decide you're lonely and breath me in
I'm waiting to hold your hand in public without fear of past lovers noticing

Six months without talking or eye contact only proves that I'll always ******* wait for you
I can't describe my love
I want to write it all down
But there is not any amount of words in Collins dictionary that could spell out my attraction to you

I know I'm not what you want
I know I'm what you need
I know you are tired
I feel the lack of love when you speak

Hold me
Set me free

My whole life people have told me I'm funny and smart and beautiful. My whole I have been told that I will be a nobody without money and a big house and a family of my own. My whole life i have had no control of my own life.
I am doing this for me, I am not doing this for anyone else but me. I am tired of being told what I could be. I am tired of being told what I am not.
I am going to explore my mind, find all the answers. I am going to help my mind grow, take in all that is offered.
I will leave all these sick people behind, take on the world with nothing but my own body.
Not a soul will tell me what to do, I will have complete control. I will take all of my bad habits and throw them away. I am making something of myself on my own terms, all my actions are for my own good. I don't give a **** what any of you say.

An overwhelming sense of loneliness washed over me while you talked about how things are better with your girlfriend
I miss you
I pass you your coffee
a delayed thank you
I stare at you in awe
I still love you
You talk about that time she was brave, I stare at your wrists
I ask myself why I do this to myself
I am alone
I am home

It's too quiet for a Friday night
I am too sober to conquer this
I'm in bed alone before 7pm
It's rare that I ever feel this alone
I am afraid that these silent nights will come more often
I fear the lack of connection more than anything else

Dear Mother,
Your children are ******* dying
We your kids spend too much time walking the fine line and falling to one side
The pain, never any gain
Dead ends, dead friends
This is not your fault, this is our own
Our mentors being drug addicts or dead never influenced us to do much good,
and I'm sorry we never told you
About our struggles, never talked much about anything
I'm sorry I can't decide wether or not I love you
I'm sorry we don't love ourselves
You worked hard to create greatness but oh god we really ****** up along the way

i see you standing in the kitchen, I catch your glance from the corner of my eye. I see you making breakfast, watch you burn the toast. I hear you laughing, my god you make the most menacing sound. I sit across the room, watch you dance as you attempt to make me smile. But I'm already smiling, a wide grin. I look you in the eyes and curl up my lip in a half sarcastic manner attempting to call you over without using my words. Success. As you get closer I remember your eyes. I stare deep inside, ice cold, in love. You meet me with a kiss, you rest your forehead on mine. It is Sunday, we are happy. You tell me you love me, I let you **** me in the shower. You brush my hair and tell me stories about the nights when I was home alone and couldn't take myself out of bed. I pretend to listen, I pour a drink. These are my happiest days, the ones where I don't wake up feeling stone cold and vicious, the ones where I can go to sleep knowing I am loved and love another.  No unfinished business, haven't cried since you left.

The only thing we share is a difference in opinion
At least it'll always be interesting

;and I didn't know what love was until I was staring into your impaired eyes and had the taste of your tongue burned into my brain

Not even five minutes after you left I puked
Threw up all the things I should have said
Rid myself of the possibility that we'd ever be together again
Spat out the cold sad reality that we'd probably never be again

He asks me why I stay silent
Doesn't he know that he took all my words with him when he left?

I remember how good it felt to lay in this field
The high was divine
In the back of that car, the breeze and bass drowning out every insecurity
Strangers are the best people to hold hands with
Those times when I was too ****** up it my own good
These are the moments when you give into happiness
The mornings when you wake up with the love of your adolescence
Those nights where you're dripping in sweat from the come down, when the trip was good
When you blink away every death threat without even considering the possibility of a permanent escape
Bliss