I bite
not only with words

when I mean bite
I mean that teeth fill the night
with tears in my eyes
and the pain fills the head


cause I said:

if you want to dream this high
then there needs to be perfection
without any exception

I feel with pain

but the truth is that
I don't know how to stop
cause I do it at all cost
and it all started when I was lost

sitting on my bed
fighting in my head
my hands in my hair
and breathing all the air
my eyes from left to right
never thought that I'd be right

I do bite

and fingers once unharmed
have now scars so deep

bracelets

those things made of strings
were given with love

a secret promise lies in every one I (s)wear

still, it’s broken
and
it’s
all
my
fault

one because I pulled too hard
one because it ripped apart
one because I got it that way
one because it didn’t work anyway
one because I lost it
one because it never fit

I love my bracelets
but every one I wear
finds its way to never wear

they give me new ones
but they don't hold
still the only one that survives
was given far too long ago

now here I am
with my jar full of broken promises
cause I don't give up
broken or not
all cause I loved too much

and see what’s the price

a jar I keep

every single one
broken
in hope not to be forgotten

they say freedom is to be as free as a bird

independent and strong
not in a cage

they give me 'freedom'
but not how I say

they push me till I am right at the edge
say I need to jump
but I’m not ready to fledge

I know that’s how it works
I’ve seen it multiple times
you jump and you fly
                yeah I do believe that lie

but we are missing one point
my wings aren’t fully grown
now I’m standing on my own
cause I need to do it all alone

so I turn my back and ask

if they could do it one more time
cause I know they can

now I am

just standing on the ground
looking at the birds in the sky
admiring them knowing someday I will try

as a kid we can't wait to grow up
we want to explore the world
cause nobody wants to explain with words

afraid to crash you down

so I got to be strong
cause I can't wait this long
I figured it out myself
and found the darkest place
and now need space
cause I’m falling in this phase people call it "youth"

Almost there

now I’m past halfway
3 years holding me back
and every day feels like a trap

hey you,
yeah you there
little one reading
words on the screen
and if no one has seen…

the war in your heart
ripping apart
a silent scream
waiting to dream

people come and people go
still you remember that ‘hello’

routine is the devil it’s always the same
still it masks
the pain
won’t give it the blame

fighting alone
like no one knew
still you know that isn’t the truth
cause we fight side by side
chasing our own version of light
strangers in name
but never the same

but hey stranger
I see you
holding hope
still standing strong
and no, I’m not wrong

cause I see you
I really do
and I’m proud of you

just hold on
one more day

and if I may say:

S ilence is a superpower but
T he truth is, look–
A round you
Y ou're not alone…

looking at others
didn’t know it bothered

cause when they start to talk
saying things like 'I wish he’d call'

it hurts
I know I can't say that
cause they are just living their life
happy they look
blooming inside

nothing can destroy that
at least that’s how they feel

I should mind my own business
but-
Should I warn them?
cause it's going to be worse
but for some reason they don’t see the curse

give it time
and everything crashes down
just like…
always

vacation

only 4 days
then I get some rest
living in the past
but still dreaming of the best

only 4 days
then I will imagine
who I could be
flying on a dragon

only 4 days
then I can scream
but I'm not my own team
cause demons don't want to be seen
and mine want to be so mean
trying to hide them from the stream

only 4 days
and I don't want to lose
don’t want to bruise

A hero and a spirit of death
both hunters looking for their path

on the first look they don't make any change
both looking to prove themselves
but there's only one way
to take the others life away

one with a mission, without any discussions
and one with glory and fame
kleos we name

but what if there was a world without the pressure
a golden treasure
where everything is different…

maybe the myth didn't mean to end his life
but just about opening his eyes

they could be friends without an end

today I searched for a knife
not to **** anyone in the bright of the night

no I didn’t mean
I only thought about hurting the one who is speaking now

me and myself

I don't know why
wait that's incorrect
I DO know why
but it’s all stupid in the back of the end

let me say that
I was hypnotized
by my own thoughts
searching for a knife
even more hypnotized was I
when I couldn't find it
I almost asked my mom where it hid

cause I was pretty sure I left it on my shelf
looked in all my backpacks
in my coat and even on my night table

searching for a knife

now looking at the time
so much fades away
suddenly realizing what happened anyway

I was searching for a knife

A KNIFE

I can't

looked around
saw the mess
back to the present
with eyes full of innocence

searching for a knife
but still knowing I could bite

I bet my past self hid it somewhere
cause I always leave things behind
thinking I could find

now I’m looking with the eyes of past me
when I was five
asking what I'm doing

all I say to past me five is
survive

and there the feeling is back
me worrying about future me when I'm twenty four
cause I am pretty sure
if those thoughts say the same
this will be no fair game

searching for a knife

I keep saying it will be okay
cause you are everything I need these days

you say you're a disappointment
when I think you're a treasure

you say you can't handle everything
when I think you already do

you say you're not atlas…
when I think you’re my sky

I look at your face
you hit me with your eyes
and I understand that
it's hard to be

you ask for help
and I waited
for this moment
longer than I could remember
begging to help
someone
who wanted to dive
and drown
ending life

cause I believe
sometimes there are those beautiful things
down in the sea
coral they name
deep down you’ll see

and I believe
you can get lost in their beauty
but if you stay too long
you will drown
before you even feel you’ve gone down

and I believe
that admiring the beauty of the darkness isn't the fall
but touching is, when you lose it all

you say you're weak
when I think you're strong

you say you want love
a reaching hand
when I just hope
mine is enough

and I believe
oh I believe
that
I just need to try
even when
trying feels like drowning tho