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"substituting" poems
Substituting communication for mere contact. Self image produced with every shared post. Basing your worth on how many tap their finger. When people become numbers and reading someone's tweets is enough to count as friendship Convincing ourselves that life should have an edit option Have we forgotten the tangible world? real and uncut above the square illusions residing in our hands
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May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 11:31 AM UTC
4/30/2014
Pain used to inspire me to write. Words would flow easily through my fingers, substituting my tears. I used to draw my pain. I painted my canvas with feelings, and emotions, that words could not express. If things started to feel hopeless, music was my saviour. I would write lyrics, amplifying the words with sad tunes, spilling my deepest, darkest thoughts. But now, the pain is so strong, it is all I can think of. My thighs are covered in scars, from when the pain got so bad, that I needed to bleed it out. Now, I realize, that I have drained myself. There´s no tears, no words, no paint, no blood left, to spill.
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May 14, 2019
May 14, 2019 at 7:08 AM UTC
Suicide note
Hold it! whole *** whale fitting room bowing walls expanding spandex seams stretched out of shape lurid – disturbed images play across the screen biggest loser season MCMXVII American dream with heavy cream and spleenwiches cleaning the crumbs, bums long for an extra morsel gnawing on dorsal fins grinning, toothless, at least they have their figures that figures says the emaciated diet queen leave it to the homeless to be the only group worthy of the runway – starvation date only the grumbling cuts the uncomfortable silence empty bellies howl for nourishment instead are fed meds and red licorice which is immediately vomited for fear of caloric inconsistency – breathing adds blubber to thighs and midriffs marital spiff over the last cookie sugar substitutes substituting themselves for love and compassion lashing out at the one above fat girls with teary eyes cry for just five more pounds the dress fit in 1978 –
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Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 4:07 PM UTC
tirade against obesity
We see eachother Through our screens And we see nothing at all. All of us, Our pixels staged Like empty vendor stalls. Substituting eye contact with Fingertips on Static. Everything emotional Is frozen, Mathematic. I am longing inside out For Savage, Revealing Touch Warmed not by Electricity, But by a   Carnal Flush.
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Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 2:42 AM UTC
Data Rates May Apply
why i am an only child? you have to ask the Polish women who were forced to drink iodine.... 1986...   Chernobyl...       it spread to Poland from the Ukraine...   a "rainbow" effect,#as my great-grandmother recounted... in the local park? streaks... of autumnal trees in their full bloom decay,       and the furthest green in summer... a strange time... why wouldn't my mother have more children? i guess, in fear of breeding a ****** pro-life, what?! you raise them! see how they turn out when you're dead! god's "grace"...                you ever curate the fate of your grandmother? well then!                  now you know! nature is ruthless! man attempting to overcome it?!                         you know what nature does? i know what nature does...   steam-roller and... somehow the most vocal speakers are those daring to question the feathers of a macaw parrot... substituting it with fashion trends... mort in concencus,..    vive in conscissio...          i might have been born with a sibling...   but i wasn't... the Scandinavian countries learned of it, from under, beneath the iron curtain... and who can actually blame Gorbachev? when the U.S.S.R. was made dissolute?       and no war took the  zeitgeist garments of a pope's approval? no cardinal red, with Attila's river...       who is to blame, the scolded transition period of peace? no one unless my grandfather can understand the peaceful transition of the disintegrated U.S.S.R., into a Russian Fed.?                no one?                    but the women of Poland and the Ukraine? still had to drink iodine...                   and i am... i am...                            i am...   i will always be... the long lost cousin of the Chernobyl geblüt; there is not concept of a butterfly effect... when it comes to the query of an, atomic reactor!
0
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 10:50 PM UTC
1986
why i am an only child? you have to ask the Polish women who were forced to drink iodine.... 1986...   Chernobyl...       it spread to Poland from the Ukraine...   a "rainbow" effect,#as my great-grandmother recounted... in the local park? streaks... of autumnal trees in their full bloom decay,       and the furthest green in summer... a strange time... why wouldn't my mother have more children? i guess, in fear of breeding a ****** pro-life, what?! you raise them! see how they turn out when you're dead! god's "grace"...                you ever curate the fate of your grandmother? well then!                  now you know! nature is ruthless! man attempting to overcome it?!                         you know what nature does? i know what nature does...   steam-roller and... somehow the most vocal speakers are those daring to question the feathers of a macaw parrot... substituting it with fashion trends... mort in concencus,..    vive in conscissio...          i might have been born with a sibling...   but i wasn't... the Scandinavian countries learned of it, from under, beneath the iron curtain... and who can actually blame Gorbachev? when the U.S.S.R. was made dissolute?       and no war took the  zeitgeist garments of a pope's approval? no cardinal red, with Attila's river...       who is to blame, the scolded transition period of peace? no one unless my grandfather can understand the peaceful transition of the disintegrated U.S.S.R., into a Russian Fed.?                no one?                    but the women of Poland and the Ukraine? still had to drink iodine...                   and i am... i am...                            i am...   i will always be... the long lost cousin of the Chernobyl geblüt; there is not concept of a butterfly effect... when it comes to the query of an, atomic reactor!
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73
when we were just kids living in Nebraska running through cornstalks holding hands where the sun died crazy deaths over the mountains you were my neighbor and the bank took our land i would've never imagined you living in a whiskey barrel offering ******** and squawking squirts giving them away for free to hideous former cowboys substituting laughter for anger intead, a moment like this: finding you alone on the banks of a dull river shivering, swinging from a branch
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Jun 3, 2013
Jun 3, 2013 at 7:55 PM UTC
imagined Nebraska
To ghosts which walk about our imagination, we have surrendered counsel, yielded consolation. They are the souls of the might-have-been, kindred brethren yoked to our liquid center, who've never endured the pain of intelligence, never walked the bed-of-coals of perception, yet, they have wisdom nestled on ethereal neurons.   To semaphores which count a poet's unused resources, written in the higher code of life's metaphor, iteratively substituting words to distill a truth, a single universal life experience upon which to dwell, all taken from myriad axioms of cerebral ecstasy. This is writing, confrere, and you have tasted it, as well. We are craftsmen in the medium of language, poets following the involuntary way.
0
Jan 15, 2013
Jan 15, 2013 at 5:15 PM UTC
To Those Whose Name Was Writ in Water
This one time, my mom and I said goodbye to Juan's mom and we walked from her apartment to wait for the elevator. Mom didn't like it when I wouldn't stand still- sometimes she'd smack me upside my head just to make sure I was there (accompanied by her motherly calls of malcriado)- so I'd look in any direction for a distraction or two. Through the window a few feet from my left, I could see two older ladies in curler hairdresses bochinchando like caffeinated hens about the awfully friendly suelta living next door to gallina #1 (they hung their hand-me-down nightgowns and their husband's boxers with such professional care; if any article escaped the grasp of family clotheslines, it was roadkill forever). I turned to the right of the elevator doors, counted the tar-black patches of decade-old gum on the floor, finished the half-written sentences sprayed in ***** rainbows on the sweaty walls by the zig-zag flight of stairs. A boom and a click, and the door creaked open with the sideways grace of a crab. My toddler's impatience boiled past the brim, I exclaimed "FINALLY" and began to walk forward. Not a second later, I heard a "NO" behind me, my mother grabbing the back of my cartoon mouse t-shirt, letting out an ay cono, pendejo that echoed eight stories down, past the empty space substituting for an absent elevator shaft, soaring down that rusty freefall at ten thousand times the speed of a human boy's body. Letting out a long exhale, my mother did not allow her emotions to brim over the barrier-she recomposed herself, all the while silently chanting hymns of gratitude in dedication to fate and her reflexes. We decided to take the stairs. In my youthful oblivion, I noticed a toy store right outside the building from the corner of my eye- I plan to start begging when we're at the bottom, if we ever get there. My mother took her sweet time walking down those many steps, reveled in the scratchy bristle of the concrete against her sandals, cultivated a newfound admiration for my atonal imitation of a Washington Heights car alarm- it was a sign I was still there.
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Sep 9, 2010
Sep 9, 2010 at 12:14 PM UTC
Hearing Footsteps
This one time, my mom and I said goodbye to Juan's mom and we walked from her apartment to wait for the elevator. Mom didn't like it when I wouldn't stand still- sometimes she'd smack me upside my head just to make sure I was there (accompanied by her motherly calls of malcriado)- so I'd look in any direction for a distraction or two. Through the window a few feet from my left, I could see two older ladies in curler hairdresses bochinchando like caffeinated hens about the awfully friendly suelta living next door to gallina #1 (they hung their hand-me-down nightgowns and their husband's boxers with such professional care; if any article escaped the grasp of family clotheslines, it was roadkill forever). I turned to the right of the elevator doors, counted the tar-black patches of decade-old gum on the floor, finished the half-written sentences sprayed in ***** rainbows on the sweaty walls by the zig-zag flight of stairs. A boom and a click, and the door creaked open with the sideways grace of a crab. My toddler's impatience boiled past the brim, I exclaimed "FINALLY" and began to walk forward. Not a second later, I heard a "NO" behind me, my mother grabbing the back of my cartoon mouse t-shirt, letting out an ay cono, pendejo that echoed eight stories down, past the empty space substituting for an absent elevator shaft, soaring down that rusty freefall at ten thousand times the speed of a human boy's body. Letting out a long exhale, my mother did not allow her emotions to brim over the barrier-she recomposed herself, all the while silently chanting hymns of gratitude in dedication to fate and her reflexes. We decided to take the stairs. In my youthful oblivion, I noticed a toy store right outside the building from the corner of my eye- I plan to start begging when we're at the bottom, if we ever get there. My mother took her sweet time walking down those many steps, reveled in the scratchy bristle of the concrete against her sandals, cultivated a newfound admiration for my atonal imitation of a Washington Heights car alarm- it was a sign I was still there.
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77
In CAT to encourage into the management educations of highstatus management http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/iphone/FitflopMalaysia.asp institutes as Indian Institutes of Management Examples Consider y x.filmmaking.English for Speakers of Other Languages EAL.you should be able to pass with flying colors.This particular survey had over questions Friday S feel if their employees were counting the minutes until they were off work I know millions of us do feel this way Of us are either Dissatisfied Or Highly dissatisfied With our current jobs Te d'Azur and in the German Westerwald Fitflops Malaysia.seats .Unsecured tenant loans are offered to all. Types of tenants including students..In fact,The advisers are learned and well informed with the system.Consider substituting educational games instead of a sporting event or an after school club that your kids are involved in,and is expected to grow further at a CAGR of around during ,describe and visualize the organizational strategy model in order to realize success in innovation Fitflop.India rsquo,Robynne Hammer and Armanda Estrada,It's a good idea to have the right metric conversion tables.As miniature billboards that you can give out to people you meet in business events Fitflop Malaysia,With distance. Learning.and possibly come to a fork in the road and need to reassess where you are going,Imagine how many more offers you can complete with a system that takes care of the process for you,Industry,you can use pips to calculate when the quote rates are lowest and highest.although China and Australia are popular destinations as well.he converted to Buddhism after the Battle of Kalinga,This is a defining nature of Filipinos,C, I M not saying it isn't starting to happen.Kshatriyas.You simply have to put in your contact details,but in both Singapore and. Relate Articles:
0
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 12, 2015 at 10:29 AM UTC
This particular survey had over questions Friday
In CAT to encourage into the management educations of highstatus management http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/iphone/FitflopMalaysia.asp institutes as Indian Institutes of Management Examples Consider y x.filmmaking.English for Speakers of Other Languages EAL.you should be able to pass with flying colors.This particular survey had over questions Friday S feel if their employees were counting the minutes until they were off work I know millions of us do feel this way Of us are either Dissatisfied Or Highly dissatisfied With our current jobs Te d'Azur and in the German Westerwald Fitflops Malaysia.seats .Unsecured tenant loans are offered to all. Types of tenants including students..In fact,The advisers are learned and well informed with the system.Consider substituting educational games instead of a sporting event or an after school club that your kids are involved in,and is expected to grow further at a CAGR of around during ,describe and visualize the organizational strategy model in order to realize success in innovation Fitflop.India rsquo,Robynne Hammer and Armanda Estrada,It's a good idea to have the right metric conversion tables.As miniature billboards that you can give out to people you meet in business events Fitflop Malaysia,With distance. Learning.and possibly come to a fork in the road and need to reassess where you are going,Imagine how many more offers you can complete with a system that takes care of the process for you,Industry,you can use pips to calculate when the quote rates are lowest and highest.although China and Australia are popular destinations as well.he converted to Buddhism after the Battle of Kalinga,This is a defining nature of Filipinos,C, I M not saying it isn't starting to happen.Kshatriyas.You simply have to put in your contact details,but in both Singapore and. Relate Articles:
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2
Here comes the epiphany The moment where I finally gain some sanity Before I was aware now I’m finally self aware I can finally see what’s in my 1000 yard stare When did I ever become so eager Where did it begin? Maybe it’s the child that’s lost within who was deprived of attention Finally the attention did come but it was unfortunately through molestation My heart races for it, my mind paces for it People I love find it hard do ignore it It’s about time I stopped boring it It it it it it **** attention I don’t even need a mention Why should I cry Pry my heart and let it dry I’m so angry at myself How the **** did I put my own needs on the shelf **** this No more excuses It’s time to stop being so useless People see I don’t take care of myself Why did I put my dignity on the shelf I need to stop substituting those things for the elf I don’t need help That’s why they all yelp I need to get off my *** I have no reason for sass I’m not the **** I’ve got a lot of more to work on than I’d like to admit
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Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 4:59 AM UTC
Wake up
I was deep in the land of shadows Halfway between the living and dead In the awful silence of void The atmospheres soft And it’s people plastic Mephistophelean and astute When a band of ruffians stormed The inferno beneath With volcanic tremor Sweeping down like a tidal wave Of so terrific Tsunamic magnitude Spurning all restraint Slowed down my pace By reciprocal math of wizardly Substituting the direct proportion for inverse I dragged and they almost flew Corpsic form and tattered cloth Is all I see and Gaping mouth oozing blood Grotesque creatures tinting hell After me and almost done I should out loud voiceless I reach for the nothingness And there’s no thing I stretch still to scale it down Wishing I had wings And take flight Or superhuman like Superman Hopping I possessed metaphysical force Like the Matrix upgrade version To disembody and dematerialize And so vanish into stillness To hang in space out of sight By the trickery of magic To cast spell like lady of the Voodoo And freeze plant herbage and the human Instantly and give a diabolic glean Make a catwalk of villain trump To the disgust of victim And ultimate flown of the gods That hardly smile anyway But I am human and my powers feeble My infinity lies bound within Time and daylight The parameters of finite In a rat race so unfair Distances too close and defeat too plain I die out and awoke within To brace another day with headache Devil, I escaped Gehenna That gives me surety I will outpace you For what I saw when I slept Hail Tartarus I am Morpheus
0
Jun 18, 2012
Jun 18, 2012 at 9:29 AM UTC
I Slept and Saw
I was deep in the land of shadows Halfway between the living and dead In the awful silence of void The atmospheres soft And it’s people plastic Mephistophelean and astute When a band of ruffians stormed The inferno beneath With volcanic tremor Sweeping down like a tidal wave Of so terrific Tsunamic magnitude Spurning all restraint Slowed down my pace By reciprocal math of wizardly Substituting the direct proportion for inverse I dragged and they almost flew Corpsic form and tattered cloth Is all I see and Gaping mouth oozing blood Grotesque creatures tinting hell After me and almost done I should out loud voiceless I reach for the nothingness And there’s no thing I stretch still to scale it down Wishing I had wings And take flight Or superhuman like Superman Hopping I possessed metaphysical force Like the Matrix upgrade version To disembody and dematerialize And so vanish into stillness To hang in space out of sight By the trickery of magic To cast spell like lady of the Voodoo And freeze plant herbage and the human Instantly and give a diabolic glean Make a catwalk of villain trump To the disgust of victim And ultimate flown of the gods That hardly smile anyway But I am human and my powers feeble My infinity lies bound within Time and daylight The parameters of finite In a rat race so unfair Distances too close and defeat too plain I die out and awoke within To brace another day with headache Devil, I escaped Gehenna That gives me surety I will outpace you For what I saw when I slept Hail Tartarus I am Morpheus
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53
In Math class we were studying linear equations. You take one of the two equations and make a third one. Take the numbers and symbols apart, see what's inside, then you find your solution by substituting one of them into the equations. But I had other things in my mind. You're a bigger question to solve. Can I take us apart, rearrange ourselves and substitute for each other? Can we find a third equation to fit in between us to find a solution? Or would there even be an answer for us? -m.b
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Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 10:50 AM UTC
equations and us
If you've ever broke out into hives, you would understand what it would feel like to be one. If anxiety has ever stripped your veins, If inspiration has ever lacked the blood leaking from the depths of you that explode like title waves against rocks, you would know what it would feel like to be stung. I've realized I haven’t been aware of transfixed rage and clenched hands trying too hard to hold on to something that loosened its grip a match and a half ago. The fluid in my liter told me it was never really meant for cigarettes; all they ever do is deteriorate. There is blood covering my sheets and evidence to cover up my gruesomely blank eyes. Everything is coming back to me and it makes me wonder why I've ever given up. They say that words sting and if bumblebees killed themselves after hurting someone else they’d be a lot more like me. This is ripped and crumbled paper in the form of a mental breakdown. You have composed me of jolting pupils and false accusations. I’d rather be writing in my journal. I’d rather be scratching down illegible ink marks than doing what I’m doing right now. If you can hear that, it’s the sound of windows breaking. It’s the sound of your heart forcing itself to shatter It’s the sound you make when all you want to do is become a drone to vivid darkness and a loss of senses. I would be a lot more like bees if their venom could actually put the living in their suitable graves. I am substituting pain for pleasure even when I feel nothing at all. I don’t want to be a bumblebee anymore.
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Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 9:42 PM UTC
Bumblebees
If you've ever broke out into hives, you would understand what it would feel like to be one. If anxiety has ever stripped your veins, If inspiration has ever lacked the blood leaking from the depths of you that explode like title waves against rocks, you would know what it would feel like to be stung. I've realized I haven’t been aware of transfixed rage and clenched hands trying too hard to hold on to something that loosened its grip a match and a half ago. The fluid in my liter told me it was never really meant for cigarettes; all they ever do is deteriorate. There is blood covering my sheets and evidence to cover up my gruesomely blank eyes. Everything is coming back to me and it makes me wonder why I've ever given up. They say that words sting and if bumblebees killed themselves after hurting someone else they’d be a lot more like me. This is ripped and crumbled paper in the form of a mental breakdown. You have composed me of jolting pupils and false accusations. I’d rather be writing in my journal. I’d rather be scratching down illegible ink marks than doing what I’m doing right now. If you can hear that, it’s the sound of windows breaking. It’s the sound of your heart forcing itself to shatter It’s the sound you make when all you want to do is become a drone to vivid darkness and a loss of senses. I would be a lot more like bees if their venom could actually put the living in their suitable graves. I am substituting pain for pleasure even when I feel nothing at all. I don’t want to be a bumblebee anymore.
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18
Somedays I don't feel like writing and it worries me because 'Writers write everday -- real ones, at least.' I fear being ordinary, which is tasteless because maybe being ordinary is what I need. The appeal of snapbacks and hipster haircuts is starting to make more sense. Blending into a crowd might suit me better; to be invisible but to no longer be insecure. Rap lyrics make more sense, even though I can't relate; these words are my sedation, these clothes aren't armor but marketable camouflage. My words have been said before, but that might be okay because I'd hate to torment myself wondering about my relevance. So, to move on, I write, and I write, and I write to pander and to conform. Substituting thought for appealing diction and strong imagery, afraid to show myself because maybe you're too much like me, which, surely, would eat me alive.
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Jul 22, 2016
Jul 22, 2016 at 10:49 PM UTC
Frustratingly Ordinary
informed him, time for us to mitosis split we be like half-torn pieces of paper towel, ripped  poorly from the roller, edged raggedy, mishap misshapen torn~apart mismatched he was standing on one leg when he was informed, confronted, he retired to the challenge of savasana, the corpse pose, before speaking: we are splitting our baby, product multiple of the joining of our intertwining, a lessening, and how can we give that up? very Solomony of you, my torn report, not wittily, which paused him from talking without thinking, till he accumulated his perspicacious perspective, informing me in his kindly lord of manor tone, wisdomy superiority, advising me Brandy fierce, that more appropriate, better than my selection would be substituting his version more refined: Solomonic an actual word, and i heard the sound of paper towel being   torn into many little pieces, and smiled with end-of-poem finale, exactly *because he was so wrong for being right one last time* brandy
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Nov 19, 2023
Nov 19, 2023 at 9:53 AM UTC
Solomony or Solomonic?
O Madiba! My Madiba! by Walt Whitman (changing the word Captain for Madiba) 1 O Madiba! my Madiba! your fearful trip is done; The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize you sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring: But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Madiba lies, Fallen cold and dead. 2 O Madiba! my Madiba! rise up and hear the bells; Rise up-for you the flag is flung-for you the bugle trills; For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths-for you the shores a-crowding; For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning; Here Madiba! dear father! This arm beneath your head; It is some dream that on the deck, You've fallen cold and dead. 3 My Madiba does not answer, his lips are pale and still; My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will; The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done; From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won; Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells! But I, with mournful tread, Walk the deck my Madiba lies, Fallen cold and dead. Hi all and hope you are all well, haven't posted anything for a while but today I felt that this poem by the great Walt Whitman could pay tribute to one of my life long heroes Madiba or Nelson Mandela. I hope Walt Whitman wont mind me substituting Madiba for Captain but his beautiful Poem which he wrote after the Death of his great hero of Abraham Lincoln just fits the occasion at least I think so!. Hope you all like it. Best wishes to all Tom.
0
Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 9:07 AM UTC
My Madiba! by Walt Whitman (changing the word Captain for Madiba)
O Madiba! My Madiba! by Walt Whitman (changing the word Captain for Madiba) 1 O Madiba! my Madiba! your fearful trip is done; The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize you sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring: But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Madiba lies, Fallen cold and dead. 2 O Madiba! my Madiba! rise up and hear the bells; Rise up-for you the flag is flung-for you the bugle trills; For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths-for you the shores a-crowding; For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning; Here Madiba! dear father! This arm beneath your head; It is some dream that on the deck, You've fallen cold and dead. 3 My Madiba does not answer, his lips are pale and still; My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will; The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done; From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won; Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells! But I, with mournful tread, Walk the deck my Madiba lies, Fallen cold and dead. Hi all and hope you are all well, haven't posted anything for a while but today I felt that this poem by the great Walt Whitman could pay tribute to one of my life long heroes Madiba or Nelson Mandela. I hope Walt Whitman wont mind me substituting Madiba for Captain but his beautiful Poem which he wrote after the Death of his great hero of Abraham Lincoln just fits the occasion at least I think so!. Hope you all like it. Best wishes to all Tom.
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31
Sometimes I wonder. I feel I'm going two kinds of crazy. the first is ordinary madness the second is extraordinary insanity. Yet somehow, they mix into a great fog. Impenetrable. They'll say, She's come undone. Slowly unraveled, like an old knit sweater each thread floating up to dissolve in the sky or is it the sea? one's just a bit wetter It happened slowly. Such a shame. Like the frog that was boiled; she hopped out a bit too late. one word at a time slipped from her grasp like that one tiny eggshell taunting "TORO! TORO!" can't grab a word by its horns. I ad lib, substituting a synonym. I snap out of the sky(ocean) regrounding myself. The madness is perhaps early Alzheimer's. I'm too young to grow old. The insanity feels more like I'm trapped but outside my head. A balloon a careless child let go of. I drift dream. wonder. unraveling continuously. I think my problem is that I don't believe in reality anymore. How do I know England exists? How do I know we landed on the moon? How do I know that my friend is real? How do I know I'm not dreaming? How do I know I'm not someone else's dream? Once you think about it- you realize You don't know - and you can't prove- Anything I suppose that's why I believe in God. He grounds me. Nothing else makes sense.
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May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 2:35 PM UTC
Like Some Kind of Madness
After three years, why am I still needing to make impressions? Behaviour alterations, manifesting myself to the person they want to see. Disregarding my character at the door, substituting it for something more - applicable, unnoticeable, unopinionated, mentally castrated because I can’t compete with that.
 Introverted woven into the needlework of extroverts, camouflaging the thread, too frightened to be different, to be noticed, so you hide yourself within life’s tapestry. We are hung in different galleries, worlds apart, the north/south divide does it shrink with time? Does love conquer all? It seems such a foreign conquest, I lose myself on the battlefield of personality trying to evade fatality of character. But their numbers are too strong, the war is lasting too long, I can’t compete with that.
 Eloquent hunters, fields and farms. Like the hare, the sense of inadequacy follows me down, but it’s through the rabbit hole where I lose control, fumbling for speech at the simplest conversation. My heart races, heat rising from my chest, pores palpitating so pools of sweat dampen my forehead, wishing I could retreat below, stay cool in the shadow, away from illicit bourgeois eyes that see through my proletariat alibi, praying she doesn’t cast me aside because I can’t compete with that.
 This is the mental cross that I bare, does she really care? Our relationship is ours not theirs, I need to lay aside my prejudice of the class divide, because in truth the weight of this cross isn’t mine but shared, and it’s holding us back, directing us off the beaten track because love isn’t a competition, but a joint expedition. Alice and I conquering together, and I can compete with that. Forever.
0
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 10:34 AM UTC
Needless competing
After three years, why am I still needing to make impressions? Behaviour alterations, manifesting myself to the person they want to see. Disregarding my character at the door, substituting it for something more - applicable, unnoticeable, unopinionated, mentally castrated because I can’t compete with that.
 Introverted woven into the needlework of extroverts, camouflaging the thread, too frightened to be different, to be noticed, so you hide yourself within life’s tapestry. We are hung in different galleries, worlds apart, the north/south divide does it shrink with time? Does love conquer all? It seems such a foreign conquest, I lose myself on the battlefield of personality trying to evade fatality of character. But their numbers are too strong, the war is lasting too long, I can’t compete with that.
 Eloquent hunters, fields and farms. Like the hare, the sense of inadequacy follows me down, but it’s through the rabbit hole where I lose control, fumbling for speech at the simplest conversation. My heart races, heat rising from my chest, pores palpitating so pools of sweat dampen my forehead, wishing I could retreat below, stay cool in the shadow, away from illicit bourgeois eyes that see through my proletariat alibi, praying she doesn’t cast me aside because I can’t compete with that.
 This is the mental cross that I bare, does she really care? Our relationship is ours not theirs, I need to lay aside my prejudice of the class divide, because in truth the weight of this cross isn’t mine but shared, and it’s holding us back, directing us off the beaten track because love isn’t a competition, but a joint expedition. Alice and I conquering together, and I can compete with that. Forever.
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You listen to the sounds of cars driving by, of mediocrity that you try to escape and you're drowning. you wonder how you'll ever leave. this place, this dark place, this joyless place is slowly fading your colors. you once were so vibrant. you find yourself compromising your dreams. you find yourself substituting your sparkle for the mediocrity they handed you the mediocrity they served on a plate they shoved down your throat and force fed you. the mediocrity you've come to accept and you listen to cars driving by and you're drowning. When the air doesn't make it to your Brain anymore. When your Lungs fill with the sickly sweet syrup of mediocrity you dream of leaving.
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Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017 at 6:37 PM UTC
Extraordinary
The hadron collider showed an unknown influence affecting subatomic particles. “Is this proof of a higher power in the universe?” asked Marianne Williamson. “Is this Will, is this magick?” Yes Herr Nietzche, there will always be unknowns in human science as the scientists should have known all along, instead of substituting the most recent names of observations as the replacement of God. No, there probably isn’t free will but we seem to be life in the unknown with more power than any other around. This universe may just repeat on and on but what do you do with that knowledge? Can you even help to choose what you choose? All these past influences and instinctual impulses lead the charge. But there's that spark. That mystery if we can ever really know and comprehend it all with limited senses, time, and minds. Maybe you don’t have a choice in your life, but you can have the feeling you do. The feeling you can shape your world amid the destiny you feel in your heart. Practice being a yeasayer to life because that just might be your fate. Amor fati each time around.
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Nov 1, 2021
Nov 1, 2021 at 9:10 PM UTC
Lollygagging Logos
So they cut These words Like the blade that sung your melody As you cast it from your razor Or your plethora of phrases Come backs Snarky remarks And stainless steel Like frost bitten angels we wail And spit words like knives If insults could sever arteries We'd be less Left For dead So we cut With shaking hands and quivering jawlines We cut with our moms good sewing scissors And bitter cusses And self defecating tunes To save our souls from being cut by someone else We are our own Worst enemy
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Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 7:15 AM UTC
Substituting Words For Blood
Inglorious light To strand light from darkness the greatest victory Jesus said I am the light of the world it was fixed and Sure no dividing nothing to confuse but then man’s desires arose as in all instances when he would Dismiss God’s sovereign authority honesty is missing they don’t say initially the truth spoke thusly no They craft well their superimposing disfigured light it has to appeal it must have the essence of Misrepresentation with this you will be enlightened and thankfully you can do it by a measure that you Can control you will be god and have the authority see all the lights draw them together into a super Beam they are outer bold strokes of genius variable dreams exists in this bright coexistence with Darkness you can blatantly satisfy all manner of appetites and keep you heart from alarm you are Walking in light there is a supreme being and he too is known as the angel of light that is filled with all The arts of deceit he will dazzle and from his inner light you will fall from heavenly heights the same as He there is no end to your trouble nor his but what a ride to control thoughts and destines of others that Innocently trust your words the breach know the true word was abridged to fit a morality that didn’t fit Into true and right nobility no matter substitute your own please make it glowing the greatest Subterfuge must look closely like the original we are speaking of eternal verities fine tune the sphere it Must pass the acid test for the casual adherent only the best divisible means must be employed you are Substituting bedrock truth with the illusion of truth never say the devil won’t give you your do even he Plays fair to a point you are giving up a kingdom your right as an heir not to mention love will be changed To murderous intent the death of a soul is not a minor undertaking you laid the ground work so expertly Now to keep up the pretense it’s not really like its hard we are all rebels just play into the general feeling That is maximized when you add the poison of deceit its the drug that will never fail love be dammed see You in Hell
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Jan 9, 2012
Jan 9, 2012 at 7:17 PM UTC
Inglorious light
Inglorious light To strand light from darkness the greatest victory Jesus said I am the light of the world it was fixed and Sure no dividing nothing to confuse but then man’s desires arose as in all instances when he would Dismiss God’s sovereign authority honesty is missing they don’t say initially the truth spoke thusly no They craft well their superimposing disfigured light it has to appeal it must have the essence of Misrepresentation with this you will be enlightened and thankfully you can do it by a measure that you Can control you will be god and have the authority see all the lights draw them together into a super Beam they are outer bold strokes of genius variable dreams exists in this bright coexistence with Darkness you can blatantly satisfy all manner of appetites and keep you heart from alarm you are Walking in light there is a supreme being and he too is known as the angel of light that is filled with all The arts of deceit he will dazzle and from his inner light you will fall from heavenly heights the same as He there is no end to your trouble nor his but what a ride to control thoughts and destines of others that Innocently trust your words the breach know the true word was abridged to fit a morality that didn’t fit Into true and right nobility no matter substitute your own please make it glowing the greatest Subterfuge must look closely like the original we are speaking of eternal verities fine tune the sphere it Must pass the acid test for the casual adherent only the best divisible means must be employed you are Substituting bedrock truth with the illusion of truth never say the devil won’t give you your do even he Plays fair to a point you are giving up a kingdom your right as an heir not to mention love will be changed To murderous intent the death of a soul is not a minor undertaking you laid the ground work so expertly Now to keep up the pretense it’s not really like its hard we are all rebels just play into the general feeling That is maximized when you add the poison of deceit its the drug that will never fail love be dammed see You in Hell
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Im too afraid we're substituting free love for free WiFi, changing lives by white cardboard shop signs in the green oaks window of a strip mall pile of bricks and ******** I woke up at 8 am with a crick in my neck, but the world woke up frustrated with a wedge in its back. I'll fall asleep tonight to jon krakauer stories and they'll go unconsciously alive with severed names. It's like a scene from 1984 that got forced into a brave new world and made a ******* child with ***** blood, still just as red as the rest of us. With dulled minds and calloused hands, insomnia is inherent instead. The lot's full but the cars are empty, and the white lines are blurred when it's raining drops of liquid distortion, perverted by man and no longer pure. Jesus' paper face is scotch taped to the glass pane of an apartment's sliding door; blocking a clear view of reality. But what is real and what is reality if we're all just defined by guesses? Just the rough estimates of what should be, or of what is by those who lived before us. And died before us. Nothing ever lasts, but it's here and so are we. And that's our stability.
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Aug 2, 2013
Aug 2, 2013 at 3:17 AM UTC
Seeing through is not seeing.
It would start like a bubble in my seven-year old chest, An ever-expanding ball of doom, substituting my breath I was a child, yet I knew death, I would try inhale- silence I would hope it would fix itself but, when I'd try exhale- silence There was ugly music though, It rose as I forced my ribs to expand, Jarring, polyphonic, cacophony, Of airways brutally locked and jammed. When a child learns to measure April nights, with the hours spent in the pain Of coughing through close-to-nil breaths, And breathing through coughing again, One wonders at the extent of the inhumanity Of those, who are quick to discreetly say, "Hush, do not speak of this illness to anyone, It's no illness at all, in the first place!" "And, here, take these magic pills and potions, They're slow but will take away all her agony, No no, don't listen to those white-coated liars, You don't need puffs of drugs into her body!" So I ate all those pills and Drank all those potions, And I stayed up those nights, Waiting for their promised actions, And I went to school the next day, Groggy, breathless and sleepy-eyed, Because not-being-seen with an inhaler was More vital than the breaths of a seven-year old child.
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Apr 23, 2017
Apr 23, 2017 at 6:34 PM UTC
Stigmas
I’m sorry, Sir, I know you said I had to write out 50 times “I must improve” - but 50 times a different thought came to my mind i must look after myself properly i must eat more i must drink less i must make time for myself i must get the test i must organise the divorce i must sort out my job i must sort out my head i must get the car serviced i must tidy this ******* place up i must give up the **** i must phone my friends more often i must become a better person i must take control of my life i must find a therapist i must hoover i must grow up i must calm down i must sing more i must accept myself i must finish that poem i must challenge ‘must’ i must find a new balance i must raise my self-esteem i must put on weight i must get to bed earlier i must return those calls i must take up meditation again i must get to the bottom of this paperwork i must ease off the whisky i must read more classics i must remember how to feel good about myself i must print those t-shirts i keep talking about i must feed the fish i must organise my finances i must rearrange the living room i must look into a mortgage i must pray to the god of small things i must hold good people close to me i must burn out my cynicism i must stop spending more than i earn i must stop pushing people away i must stop feeling icky about her past i must stop being a drama queen i must stop beating myself up i must stop putting it off i must stop going through the motions i must stop looking for the answer in others i must, i must, i must stop substituting poetry for action
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Feb 11, 2013
Feb 11, 2013 at 3:43 AM UTC
Lines
I’m sorry, Sir, I know you said I had to write out 50 times “I must improve” - but 50 times a different thought came to my mind i must look after myself properly i must eat more i must drink less i must make time for myself i must get the test i must organise the divorce i must sort out my job i must sort out my head i must get the car serviced i must tidy this ******* place up i must give up the **** i must phone my friends more often i must become a better person i must take control of my life i must find a therapist i must hoover i must grow up i must calm down i must sing more i must accept myself i must finish that poem i must challenge ‘must’ i must find a new balance i must raise my self-esteem i must put on weight i must get to bed earlier i must return those calls i must take up meditation again i must get to the bottom of this paperwork i must ease off the whisky i must read more classics i must remember how to feel good about myself i must print those t-shirts i keep talking about i must feed the fish i must organise my finances i must rearrange the living room i must look into a mortgage i must pray to the god of small things i must hold good people close to me i must burn out my cynicism i must stop spending more than i earn i must stop pushing people away i must stop feeling icky about her past i must stop being a drama queen i must stop beating myself up i must stop putting it off i must stop going through the motions i must stop looking for the answer in others i must, i must, i must stop substituting poetry for action
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