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Tina Marie Oct 2015
I hate the way I

                                       in love
With a whisper

you know the one I mean

Always with the one I know will leave.

Is it really love that I crave
Or an excuse to wallow in my **misery?
Tina Marie Nov 2014
Huddled in the shower
The hot spray mingling with my tears
As I gaze back
Through the shattered years
Trembling and shaking
I saw you today
I ran and hid
Tried to think you away
I thought I was fine
I thought I'd healed
Thought I'd recovered from
The power you used to wield
You stole my sanity
I was just a little girl
Who'd never had a father
When you entered my world
For eons you used me
You dragged me into hell
And when I escaped
I thought I'd get well
Almost two decades
Have came and gone
But today I discovered
My mind is still wrong
When you're abused as a child the pain never goes away. Almost twenty years have passed since I escaped, but everything came rushing back and it feels as though I never left.
Tina Marie Oct 2014
You don't give a ****
About us vets
You pay us lip service
And leave us in debt
Cancel our appointments
But when we call
To reschedule you act
Like WE dropped the ball
I've been waiting 2 years
For my ****** up shoulder
You keep handing me pills
And my will grows colder
Now three of my battles
Have taken their life
Today one shot himself
In front of his kids and wife
Oh, NOW you care?

******* VA,  ***** YOU!!!

Just hand me my pills
Like you usually do
Oh, why are you angry?
You must not like to hear
What most of us vets
Have heard from you for years

******* too, VA
So tired of my battle buddies assassinating themselves. The VA doesn't care. I'm so sick of this **** and I'm writing my ******* congressman because they have got to stop treating us like we don't matter.
Tina Marie Oct 2014
You haunt me in dreams
That are tinged with the vibrant echoes
Of our nighttime phone calls
Tina Marie Oct 2014
Your soul mirrors mine
I see every scratch
That is reflected
It's like our scars match
My heart is stretched out
With shimmering stands
That reach out to you
Across the lands
But they don't have to stretch
From the gulf to the Pacific
For the stands of your soul
Reach out for the specific
Parts of me that match you
At last they join together
Though the distance is far
It's like we're together
For our souls
Have always been
Connected unseen
Soon together again
Had a visual in my head of two people on opposite ends of the continent with their auras visibly seeking out each other
Tina Marie Oct 2014
For so many years I wandered
Through the night
With your sister Selene,
Laughing and smiling:
A grim facade
So no one would question me.
Her cold moonlight
Allowed my charade to go unnoticed.

Little did I know that you,
My very own Helios,
Were floating through my night unseen
On the flat underbelly of the earth.*

Then without warning
I saw your other sister Eos.
She taunted me
With the first of your rays,
Giving me a glimpse
Of what it meant to walk in your light.
Snatches of the impending dawn
Teased me with their muted hues.

Suddenly, you in your golden chariot Peeked just over the horizon
I tried to flee west;
Afraid to believe
The warming rays emanating
From you could be real.
I tried to uproot the gleaming tendrils
From my jaded heart
But I couldn't outrun the sun.

So I gave up trying.
I turned to face you.
I kept my eyes closed at first,
Letting the radiance of your being Illuminate the damaged corners;
The scars of my aura
Layed bare before your brilliance.

And still you came.

So I opened my eyes
And saw that every scar,
Every damaged piece of my spirit
Was made beautiful
Before your smoldering gaze.

*Joyously I took your outstretched hand
Now I wander with you
Through the painted mesa skies
From cloud to cloud
In a leaping pirouette
Never to allow the night
To take residence in my heart again.
Tina Marie Oct 2014
The cool night wind sings
Of trust, hope, desire, and other things
A lullaby about our love.
It's in the night that I think of you most, though you inhabit my mind in the day as well
Tina Marie Oct 2014
We wear coats in the morning and shorts at night.
Our weather has more mood swings than a 13 year old girl. Last night it dropped to 40 but it's going up to 72 today.
Tina Marie Oct 2014
There are times I feel like my brain has shattered into a million shards of ice
Reflecting the rainbows of the sun's light
Each color a memory that I can't shake free

And there are times I feel like the world is mine
Like every millisecond is a luxury of sights and sounds

Sleepless weeks alternating with weeks of sleep
The handful of pills never quite evening up the scale

Tortured dreams from which I wake screaming or paralyzed
Unable to do anything but fear

But even in the worst days I look back on my lifelong roller coaster ride and remember this:

You can't enjoy the ride if the track stays flat. If your car doesn't sink it can't rise
Just a glimpse into being bipolar
Tina Marie Oct 2014
It don't take much to make me happy
'Cause I'm from the south
I just need some good soul food
To cram into my mouth

Or I can sit on the creek bank
With my best fishing pole
Casting my line expertly
Into my secret fishing hole

A moonlit hike into the woods
Will soothe my achin' soul
Them city folks don't understand
It's better than silver or gold

When Sunday rolls around it's time
To get myself dressed up
The laying of hands and speaking in tongues
Will come if the Spirit moves us

There's a glamour to the south
Like a work of art that's living
Even the poorest of the poor
Open their hearts and are giving

So call me a redneck or a hick
It doesn't matter to me
I'm proud to be a southern girl
There's no place I'd rather be
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