You questioned my virtue After witnessing all the things that I’ve been through From the time I kept my heavily gates locked and suffered the repercussion A swollen face and minor concussion To the time I had a miscarriage scared and alone We still loved each other but first I needed the father of my child to atone.. I always thought my honesty was something you adored Never thought the day would come where you would be the one calling me a ***** I could never be this open with anybody other than you. I thought you were my best friend but now that couldn’t be any less true. You used to tell me everything From the highlight of your nights to the grimiest of schemes Something along the way was lost I sit and wonder what it could be Now I cry cause I can’t remember the last time you kissed my forehead ever so gently Your kisses aren’t the same But whose to blame I remember the time when I could fall asleep in your arms I hated how those pictures of me passed out They didn’t do any justice for my girlish charms.. I thought you knew me and my insecurities I thought I knew you but I look at you now and I don’t know who is standing in front me I’m sure you feel the same I don’t know how it got to this to point and I sure as **** don’t know who to blame.. What if it could be a good thing Maybe the birth of our son will give us a new song to sing I still want to be your wife but I guess I should be grateful that I’ll always be in your life I always wanted to have your child, I wanted at least four. I don’t know where you’ll be after you walk out that door.. And I’ve never been so scared Never thought the day would come where I wouldn’t be spared Will you ever come back? You’re harder to reach the further you fade to black..
Just a pregnant woman left alone with all her hormones
I’ve been hurt before 1, 2, 3 times maybe more.. Each time a little different, and more painful than the last. All caused by the same ghost who haunts me from my past.. They say the 3rd time is a charm but I never realized an entity could cause such harm.
As my belly begins to swell The apparition decided now is the time to drag me to ****. My unborn child is innocent, I cried Spare him and take me but the man he once was has died Only his spirit remains And all the things he eventually became.
What was once warm to the touch or sweet to the taste. Is now cold and bitter and wants to lay my soul to waste. I clench and cry for what grows in my abdomen as he greets and pays the lonely ferrymen. I pray to the gods, this can’t be real and if so Please give me the strength to survive yet another hellish ordeal.
Missing you as much as I do Starting to premeditate all the ways I could drop a clue In your presence is when I felt my loveliest Tried to replace you cause now I’m at my loneliest. Can’t forget how much you want me to get better Your pep talks couldn’t have gotten me any more wetter
Lately I haven’t been able to sleep Compared to you everyone just seems so bleak I toss and turn and don’t realize it’s getting late Can’t even bring myself to ******* I get aggravated cause I can’t get you out of my head Especially when I picture that other ******* your bed
Then I remember all the childish things I did Don’t want to let history repeat itself, god forbid Our friendship might not ever be the same But for that only I’m not the only one to blame Why did you have to move on so fast When you led me to think what we shared was something that could last I’ve never wanted to try so hard I wanted to be the only and last girl you brought to the yard.
Can’t seem to end this poem My hearts pounding and all I can think is “I can’t wait to show him” You say my company isn’t something you’re missing Can’t stop the tears as I watch the videos of us kissing I captured a moment where you said Those three words that put my insecurity to bed
I feel brand new I’ve got a new set of goals No more excuses No more switching roles I am me and I can swim myself to safety Only way out of the gutter is up It’s about time it goes beyond words it’s going to be tough All that matters is that I know I’m enough If I love myself as a person Somebody will want to **** me rough The way i like it, I’ve always wanted to be like Alexa from spy kids Smart and real force to be reckoned with I’ve got the tools, it’s about time I finished school I want him admire me while I whipe off his drool I’ve never wanted to love myself so much before.. I’m such a fool
This whole time I’ve wanted to be a queen But was never good enough for the king
I finally ******* get it I need to know when to stop I need to know when to focus Enough of the smoke and mirrors And all the hocus pocus I’ve got to be preoccupied To keep everything off my mind What am I doing with my time? Am I only a distraction Instead of being the action People wanna move Standing still will make em snooze Instead of being tight I’ve never tried with all my might Nobodies going to tell me what to do If I expect it I’ll be ******* I cant let my **** be loose Waking up is only the beginning The rest of the day still needs some filling My level needs to be higher So I can gain and be desired My brain had gone haywire But I’ve finally fixed the wires Finally some of my demons can retire There are more moments when my head is clear now Maybe I can finally get the standing ovation while I bow I want to inspire Be more than just admired I want to truly be love Tired of the when push comes to shove I don’t want to fight anymore There’s somebodies children I want to bore What kind of mother would I be if I was just another chore
Here comes the epiphany The moment where I finally gain some sanity Before I was aware now I’m finally self aware I can finally see what’s in my 1000 yard stare When did I ever become so eager Where did it begin? Maybe it’s the child that’s lost within who was deprived of attention Finally the attention did come but it was unfortunately through molestation My heart races for it, my mind paces for it People I love find it hard do ignore it It’s about time I stopped boring it It it it it it **** attention I don’t even need a mention Why should I cry Pry my heart and let it dry I’m so angry at myself How the **** did I put my own needs on the shelf **** this No more excuses It’s time to stop being so useless People see I don’t take care of myself Why did I put my dignity on the shelf I need to stop substituting those things for the elf I don’t need help That’s why they all yelp I need to get off my *** I have no reason for sass I’m not the **** I’ve got a lot of more to work on than I’d like to admit
You used to sweet & now you ain’t much of a treat Unless you want some meat When you want some of this *** All of sudden you’ve got some class & All it takes is a little sass To remind you who you trying to **** with Fool me once, fool me twice, Third times a charm is a myth ******* you’re unappreciative Once you had me inebriated Now all I ever am is ******* irritated I see the man I love but all I feel is hate for you I walk away cause now I know it’s through Don’t even think about coming back without bringing some fast food Cause that’s all your good for now my dude Your tongue used to make my toes curl Now thinking about making love and everything you’ve done makes me want to hurl I’m sorry lady boy, you’re going to have to find yourself a new girl..