come with me in the driving rain
Take a chance,make a dance, a thunder dance
Impending lightning sky, potential suicide
You're crazy you cried, Yet you need me inside
so we ride on the lightning together
And knowing one strike puts us together forever

blood red, cut with me, make your pact, can't you see
You could just call me crazy and run away far from me
Yet you know I would die, the most torturous cry and pleads
just so you could live and breath, with my guts on the sword as I bleed

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

Mother still says Im poision and you are permananently glued
Stuck to me, cant get away, wont fade away, cant come loose
But then again I like your obsession and I surely adore mine
I swallow you up like a possession, Im a vampire I **** you to make you my bride

We cut, we wear goth, everybody says we went off the deepest end
We said thats enough, painted our lips black, Our hair looks like sin
We are one in our dress, we are one in our flesh, we are everything
Im thankful we possess each others brains and nothing about us is lame
The Day I met you in the palace of my heart is the day you came
And the song we sing is the most heavenly in the lightning and the rain

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

Some people say that true love does not exist. It's funny cause I used to be that exact person. With having to deal with such agony of a loss of my own mother at a young age, reality became a part of my world. Love though, was never evident to me. Never clear, nor around. Hope was lost along with faith. How could I ever turn to bringing myself alive with feelings only someone else could give me?

It happened.

Struck me through many faults, and times of confusion.. I found myself to be fascinated and utterly taken by someone else life. It just gathers your feelings and throws them into a well that you will never get back. I fell deeply, madly, continuously, in-love.  But this was a love that had no way to be described or defined. This love to me became more than a feeling it was a sense of living, and to be without it would be impossible, heart-wrecking. It became my persuasion at life.My hope for a future, and my inspiration for believing in greater things. You did this to my heart . You filled my vains with something other than blood, but yet a poision that only you could make. Your love. Your taste.Your sound, smile, your looks, and just the way you walked in room making it seem so alive, i was captivated.

Love is so wrecking, and is so STRONG. It is something that should not be messed with . People ask me all the time.. how could you be inlove your so young... you have a whole world to meet...there are bigger things than this. What does that matter. No age, no number, no disease or death could determine such love that is unconditional. You see, its not forced.. its just there. Its as if you blink for a second and your whole world is changed. you feel as if theres a glass over your eyes and you know longer just live for yourself. You live to protect, to hold, to cherish, and to provide whoever that special someone may be with every part of your soul .

You mean the world and beyond to me. You mean such beautiful dreams to me. You soul brings me down to feel all the gravities of love. Your bright,your sunny, your breath taking in every cliche way their is in a sense of being mine and only mine.

Life brings us these mysteries, and obstacles that we must overcome to be strong and better than we could ever imagine being. Sometimes things happen that we may not even have the mind to control or explain, but to work over. You have always been my strength, and my biggest weakness but will never be any sense of failure to me. We must be braver to be brave, to feel extreme, and to experience the true meanings beneath compassion, and loyalty, and security. Once a love so strong, that a love must be stronger. You are my one and only . My fairytale that has no end . Your my storybook, and although i may be hurt , i trust in your heart that you will replenshish this love  and vision how our lives intertwine for such powerful reasons. We've had a love that cannot die nor burn out. So believe me , i will never stop loving you now , then , and after that. True love exists in the eyes of the beholder, and i am a victim of something so moving that no pull could break my longing for your touch.

I love you , I need you and I only pray for your heart. never give up.

-Jl

Guy-I'm no good for you please stay away!
Did u hear me i said stay away!
I've already did some damage to you
Heart broken people can only break more hearts so please stay away

Girl-Maybe i like the feeling of pain because all i want is you the way u laugh like there's no tommorow the way u hold me as if your holding a new born baby
When I’m with you all my worries go away

Boy-your not listening to me my love is toxic I have issues the way I treated you is wrong...go and find someone better than me

Girl-I only want you! Just because you have been heart broken before doesn’t mean your going to break my heart

My ankle is chained.
I gripped on the railing of my sinking ship, hoping i could pull myself out of the water.

As i waited for rescue, rain poured down and waves grew bigger.
The chain attached to my ankle was too heavy that my hand was already slipping. I had to let go since it felt like i was being torn in two as i was being anchored down the depths of the ocean. I was sure my ankle bled from the chain's tightness and the weight that was pulling me down but i couldn't feel the pain. All i felt was the freezing cold water and my heavy chest.

It was as if my heart carried my whole weight.

I never wanted to drown but i felt like i no longer had enough strength to resist. I gasped for air one last time and yet even the air felt like poision.

Now i felt the physical pain. It stung.
My throat was on fire as i allowed myself to be dragged further down. I closed my eyes as tight as i could and clenched my teeth while my body trembled in pain and my chest felt tighter.  

This. This was the only time i hoped my heart would stop beating. but no matter how i hard i wished or prayed, it wouldn't stop. It felt like an hour of drowning and yet i was still conscious. It's my fault. I built it like this. I built it with hope and faith for years. Now i couldn't understand whether it was for good or bad. To hold on to life or hold on to the pain?

Slowly, i was being pulled deeper down the ocean. I tried to open my eyes but i couldn't see anything anymore. There was nothing but the color red.

I never knew i had this amount of blood. Enough to build an ocean which only God can make.

I'm still alive. I can move.
But i am stuck underneath this ocean of blood with my chest still tightening, unsure of when the pain would stop or if anyone could find me at this depth.

You said you'd come visit. So I left a note on my desk hoping you'd find it. I went cruising even if i hated the waters. I brought an anchor and a chain with me but i left its key on the desk too. I had no idea what it was for or why i brought it. All i knew was i was watching the sunset and it was suddenly chained to me when darkness came. I didn't know how my ship sank or how i got in the water. Maybe it was not in good condition. But then again, i knew you would check it everyday because you told me so.

Where are you? Have't you read my note yet? Did you come visit? Are you on your way?


I'll be here waiting, holding on, and hoping that your hand would be the first one to pull me out of my misery. Even if i know you'd never read the note in the first place.

This scent of you, it clings to my skin,
it clings like a rash that's boiled over from within.
I scratch at this poison that has marked my flesh,
the scent of you, at your very ****** best.
I throw off the covers and hit the wall with my fist;
should lust be a sin, if lust is like this?
And no matter what with who, how, what or where,
everytime i sleep i can feel your ****** stare.
And the weight of your fingers on the back of my neck
drives me to nightmares, and meaningless ***.
Tinged by the moment and forgotten by the hue,
my arms are brusied easily by the scent of you.
I'm running wildly through bracken and fire,
i'm running as a beast would run from apathy and desire.
I, the lone wolf, i'm moonlit, i scratch and i howl,
at the memory of your face, and your sneering sharp scowl.
I, the lone rider, in flight fearless, reckless and abused,
I jump fields, catch branches, torn, bleeding and bruised.
I hide in the woods, and float in the sea
I'm hiding myself from the deepest memory of me.
You're the poision ivy to my deepest forest of bark,
You're the drifting snow to my deepest vision of dark.
This scent of you, it clings to my lips
and i bite my tongue as i stretch my fingertips.
There is no sense in this dirt that flies through my hands
my thoughts are lost as stone is lost in beached sands.
I rip at my skin and i tear at my voice
I made this my dealing, at my beck, at my choice.
I draw upon my body like a breeze skims the ground,
there is no more wanton whimper, than there is my sound.
And at night when the nightmares come and i scream in my sleep,
the scent of you overwhelms my body, and i sow what i reap.
I lightly collect my feelings and throw them in a box,
I wrap in chains and cover it in locks.
I have been fooled, i have been fooled and blinded by you
and this scent lingers, in a memory of a distant bluish hue.
I watch as you walk away, your hips sway, tail high
And i howl and i scream and i sit and i cry.
And whilst i linger alongside this sharp vivid movie scene,
i count my bruises and feel quietly serene.

Come with me in the driving rain
Take a chance,make a dance, a thunder dance
Impending lightning sky, potential suicide
You're crazy you cried, Yet you need me inside
so we ride on the lightning together
And knowing one strike puts us together forever

blood red, cut with me, make your pact, can't you see
You could just call me crazy and run away far from me
Yet you know I would die, the most torturous cry and pleads
just so you could live and breath, with my guts on the sword as I bleed

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

Mother still says Im poision and you are permananently glued
Stuck to me, cant get away, wont fade away, cant come loose
But then again I like your obsession and I surely adore mine
I swallow you up like a possession, Im a vampire I **** you to make you my bride

We cut, we wear goth, everybody says we went off the deepest end
We said thats enough, painted our lips black, Our hair looks like sin
We are one in our dress, we are one in our flesh, we are everything
Im thankful we possess each others brains and nothing about us is lame
The Day I met you in the palace of my heart is the day you came
And the song we sing is the most heavenly in the lightning and the rain

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

back and forth, back and forth
it drove him insane
but the back and forth, back and forth
was still better than the pain

he'd rather be in uncertainty
than lose her all at once
the fear of never speaking to her again
was better than enduring silence for a few months

but it got to him, still
her lack of commitment and the way her mind changed
he wondered if it was so easy, to let him go
if loving him was as easy as being from him estranged

she was so hard to predict and it wasn't easy
she went from 'i love you' to 'i'm leaving'
one day she'll want to choose you, the other, lose you
she went from all night conversations to not even speaking

i guess for him, the pros outweighed the cons
the hope outweighed the fear
he'd rather live in anxiety
than the lose the possibility of keeping her near

it hurt him inside, every now and often
but he embraced the uncertainty, the shaky life
he kept his mouth shut and took what he could get
praying every night that one day, she might choose him for good, and become his wife.

“To be or not to be, that is the question”
The answer, still unclear
Cans’t we be and not be at the same time?
That way we can choose how to be when life gets in the way
Would be easier on everyone

“I’m afraid I’m turning into a cliché”
My entire existence is a cliché
I’ve thought it up before
And here I go repeating
Preaching my so-called life
To those I thought had it different
I was wrong

“What Am I Missing?”
Besides you of course?
Besides your smile?
Not much I think

“Willing to tolerate less frequent service”
From the people in charge
Apparently we have free will
Who knew?  

“Licks his lips , turns my hands”
I am a clock
Only time will tell
When my hands will show
Quarter to midnight
He cannot turn time
Before it turns him

“I am one half of him
You will see
Cut me in half to reveal his trickery”
You will see
Where he tried to turn the hands of time
And failed
Cut him in half
You will find
The bind of time he almost left behind
That he almost broke and shattered
“The trauma cut both ways”

“Juliet’s the word they use for anyone that’s done it with pills or poision”
It’s also our word for a fool
Who was in so much pain
She caused more pain to herself
Who chose to halt the hands of time
Before it was time to
You cannot meddle with these kinds of things
Time cannot stand it



“The wall I was knocking down”
The one that kept me from you
The one that cheated time
“All of it was simply not the real thing”

“Maybe the supreme self-confidence I envied, was nothing more than masked insecurity”
Maybe the whole world is a façade
Just waiting to be uncovered
Waiting for the right person to come along
And reveal the secrets of time and space
There is no use in envy
It causes unnecessary guilt
Towards a cause you yourself did not create

“Adjusting or adapting a scheme”
Time is a pattern we must adapt to
We cannot be radical and say,
‘***** you time, I won’t conform!’
You must.
Being radical isn’t necessary
When you are given one of the most precious things
You will ever receive
Cherish it
It’s what you must do
“Now I understand”

I may have love
I may lose love
But I will never regret a single thing
For I know that I had not cheated time
I had lived a full life
Embraced every moment
“Splendid if I overcome my earthly passion, but if I succeed, still I have known happiness”





  Hamlet by William Shakespeare
2 Midway by David Homel
3 Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard
4 Economic Naturalist by Robert H. Frank
5 Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
6 “His Ace of Spades” by Noelle Havens, a poem from Cellar Roots Literary Magazine, p.69
7 Militainment, Inc. by Roger Stahl
8 Kneller’s Happy Campers by Etgar Keret
9 “An Exclusive” from The ******* the Fridge by Etgar Keret
10 Death of Ivan Illyich by Leo Tolstoy
11Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty
12 World of Children textbook by Greg Cook
13Set Me Free by Miranda Beverely-Whitmore
14 Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Dark night, filling earth and sky, in silence; minty, silky soft,
like the music flowing from the lyre of a jilted lover, vengeful,
let me drink your sweet poison, that would curtain me off for now,
from the torture of light, the love in which I once lost myself, cherished
now I want to forget those days fully,and fly out of this house of pain

Slumped in the backseat
Feel the light shine and pass across closed eyelids
Electricity sizzlez and pops against brain tissue
I want to end so I can be everything

Help reaches out in the form of tiny eyes and a few off-handed comments
Lets go play outside with masks on
Be careful, after years of work these walls are still fragile
Poision seeps, I left a stain on your bed

We brought reminders of home
Coffee smudged against the tile floor
Renovations needed made
Asleep against the wheel going seventy

Normalicy is living up to a bigger name
Unattainable in all the right ways
A bitter sweet dream that you can't help but
Reach for.

It is a false sense of security on a "normal" day
And the crushing weight when something goes wrong
Knowing you'll never be normal
As long as you worry

Anxiety is your least favorite friend
But somehow your closest
It’s a title you try to wear proudly
Claiming “titles don’t define me”

But somehow the symptom list consumes you
With every “please don’t do that”
And you’re sinking deeper with “it’s not that big of a deal”
You’re drowning when they do it anyway

Anxiety is a trigger list longer than a prescription name
And missed phone calls everyone’s used to
Knowing you’re the disappointment as plans fall apart
A broken heart when they just quit calling

It’s  your ticking time bomb on when you’ll be fired
When people will leave and you don’t try to convince yourself that they wont anymore
Because everyone does
It’s easier to leave than to help and to understand

It’s the toxic part of you that you try to hide
Cover it with bandaids
And hope they ignore the radioactive poison through your veins
And you’re just trying to feel like you’re not poision

It’s an IM box that understands and a parent that doesn’t
Knowing you’re not alone but feeling it anyway
Because when you’re choking for air and getting weird stares
You’re alone

there, in those strawberry fields of dreaming-
those blooms of a season long since dead and torched-
     i swore i found you
and you were speaking sweetly in a smokey room
with a crescent smile
and a cheap long-neck bottle
and a blue ball-point pen
that you'd only pry from it's waltzing
     to chuckle with (and charm) the bartender

an older lady
with muddy-water curls
and poision ivy eyes
     and...there's something about her that reminds me of my mom...
then the moment's gone
and now, all i can wonder
is how it is that she's counting change when she hasn't got any fingers

the captain must be on the mic again
with bull-**** banter about the weather
     or our eventual destination
     or something about the turbulence to calm the unfortunate un-drugged
his monotone monotony
sneaking through my sleep to me
     and coming through like the voice of the radio host
     as my head's beneath tepid bathwater

your ellegance uneffected by his audible intrusion
into my sub-concious dellusion
     you pull at the tides of your brew
     and wink
then back to a busy pen

     i have to get to you
you've got to remember
  
come back

but dreams don't work like that

it's as if my feet don't match my body
or my legs are facing backward
or i'm in that godforsaken hallway scene of "The Shining"
     and i'm finding this to be far more frustrating
     than remaining concious through the flight could have ever been

and again
somewhere over nebraska
the ride gets increasingly shaky
     not obnoxious enough to wake me
     just enough to take me to the part of the nightmare
     where my teeth start falling out
          like precious little gems of vicodin and nicorrette
               t a p p i n g out my fragile skull
and now i'm wearing some ******-gummed grin
and that charming lounge is feeling like "From Dusk Till Dawn"
and all of the friendly faces are gone
     except for yours
          and you look horrified

how come now i've got your attention?

touchdown at o'hare
and i wake in the window seat next to a vacant chair
     alive and well
except that you're not there

and to think
     when i was a kid
          my nightmares all had fearsome beasts
then i grew up
          and found the monster to be me

Love & cigarettes
One is a drug, an addiction
The other a dangerous feeling, emotion
Both will **** you slowly but surely
Yet we are only warned about cigarettes
And here I am having never touched a cigarette to my lips
But I feel another poision
As I inhale the smell of your clothes
As I pull your lips to mine
No one ever warned me that another living soul could be my downfall
So it won't be cancer,tar, or nicotine when I go only
Your smile, your kiss, and a goodbye

And we sighed as one
As the mighty forests
Mountains
Oceans
One by one they fell
One by one we sighed
And all drift on the breeze
Of man's success

Of oil and poision
Of undeserved power
And maybe
One day
The Earth will rule
Alone
Free
And cold

As we sigh,
And the world is lost
And hope slips away
Until love is all that
Remains
Forevermore

Take my hand but
Don't hold on
Let me hug you
But push me away

As
Dangerous as
an Intoxicating Drug
Smoldering in your soul

As your emotions
burn into stone
Etching a permanant
scar into your sleeve

As you wear your
heartache on your sleeve
With a burn hole and a scar
that empty spot that once was full
Will be replaced with nothing

Because I'm saving you from myself
I cannot comfort your pain
Because I am what the hurt consists of
I am the root of your heart's torture

You may not see it
But it is as clear as day
that I must save you from myself
so that you might heal

So that you might live
to find yourself anew,
Create a better life
loving someone else

For I am a poision that will
Rot you with sweetness
**** you with care
Martyring myself for
your relief

And the only way to detach your
dependence on me
is for me
to
disappear

i am a drug, abused drug abuser,
you like to pick me up, take a drag
rip a piece
and throw me away in your disgust,
wear me thin...
and while you work on breaking my spirit
i inhale of my own poision..
pulling clouds of happiness into my lungs
for the low low price of my sanity
you picked me up one night and screamed
threw me to the corner and as usual
but this time you cried
you said"im sorry"
i don't know what that means
my soul is gone, i sold it to the devil for a fiver,
grinned as i counted the cents and he laughed away
my anonymity is stripped even the walls know my name
i dip my head as i walk down the street i don't want to meet their eyes
it hurts ,
to see that emotion,
happiness? content? i don't know
since you picked me up like a piece,
and started burning away my sanity
i became a drug

but im in limited supply

*L.G

you poisoned me
no, you didn't slip arsenic in my food
or spike my Shierly temple
but you left your memories
decaying memories, poisoning me
the toxins of tourniquet leaking
their erosive toxins into my mind
you may not be here
but your memories are
and so the scars
white scars on my wrists
gashes in my heart
i don't know where to start
because your torment has no end
i hope that it might somewhere around the river bend
but the only river i see is from my eyes
part of the watershed of regret
to the ocean of mistakes
i seem to be drowning in
your memory is suffocating
filling my lungs with dispair
Im gasping for air,
but my willingness to swim in fading
so i'm sinking and letting the memories flood my brain
wondering if im going insane
or if its just a side effect
of the poison you called affection
a medication that apparently turned "no" into "yes"
and hiking up my dress...
and the poision, you,
your memories eve the happy ones hurt
the happy disguise of a smile
that would ultimately lead to teary eyes
and trouble with other guys
all because you poisoned me
and its effects are lingering
its not just a one and done
its an std of  the mind
it stays around even after your gone
so check yourself and your actions
dont dare poison someone else
do not add to the watershed of regrets
i want clean water
to wash away my infected mind
but no amount of soap
or blades or nails
could possibly wash away  your posion
because now its part of me
congratulations,
you dont no longer have to posion me'
you've turned me on myslef
like some auto immune disease
of the heart and the mind
because i will never forget when i called you mine
and i wish i could,but its branded
so i'm left stranded
in my ocean of regrets and poisoned water shed

its always
strange
when new places
start to feel like home
and you've got holes in your
stalkings
holes in my lungs
where your words
filtered through me like
black smoke
with an intent to burn
and the ash is still on my tongue.
oh mother can you take away the poision
that consumes the waking hours
and the subconscious ones
cause he hurt me bad
and im a cracked teacup
leaking all over the window sill

My first sip of water
Turnt to poision.
Lungs collapsed
I am mute
Vessels popped red splotches
reality's double
Sick I hang
Without a noose
Waiting for cardiac-arrest

He is not a lover
but a brother
the one i found in Christ

he is a friend
so inspiring
only i can understand

you claim his mine
but no he is not
its just too much of what we have in common

he is "Cool"
and i am cold
but he know how to keep me warm

a big heart
so strong and powerful
he knows how to protect that fregile me

team spirit is what he carries
while you are the human crisis
he know how to make me let go of that anger you cause.

He is not a lover
his a friend
the one i found in Christ

much of a lady's man
a caring heart so pure
he is just one unique soul i know

comforting in distress
never lets me drawn in doldrums
he always seem to keep me smiling

his not a lover
but a brother
the one i found in Christ

so much of your suspicions
better should they be locked away
before your thoughts poision my mind

We will sit
We will talk
We will laugh
We will cry

We will cut
We will burn
We will drink
We will starve

We will think
We will share
We will feel
We will trust

We will compare
We will harm
We will swap
We will injure

Let your blood poision mine
And mine to the same to yours
Let me dilute the effects of the alcohol with my own poinsion
Let you share the effects of the drink and get me drunk on your love

Let us rant
Let us feel
Let us rage
Let us vent

Let us breathe
Let us survive
Let us dig
Let us live

Let us bound
Let us leap
Let us soar
Let us fly

We have two capacitive things,
1st is our physical power and is our mental abilities,
but it all depends upon our thinking,
and all thought in out mind we can bring,
all of us go as far we know,
because life can be limitless with,
someone who love us and go with us in the same flow,
no one can know what you are thinking,
beacuse it's your own limitless world that you can imagine,
all seems to be happy but i am not because i want to live in my own world in which it surrounded me all around so that no one can find me,
so that i become i want to be,
in all trurh and lies we say
can make someone happy for whole life, a month, a week or for a single day,
who will become your bestie,
it will decided by your nature
and lot of smiles which are free,
love ones are not easily found,
they can give power us to live even they are not around,
touching is the physical touch but our mentality defines how much feeling everything very important,
so that we can react on it,
and giv output at any instant,
wash the poision from my skin,
show me how to be loved again,
cause i lonely cried in the castle of glass
and the wany thing i want to see,
you to see..

Drowning in aesthetics
Les poision left you blind
I see the river streaming
Your thirst is used to bind
For all are born with curses
Those needs you satisfy
The food you eat is worthless
Always unsatisfied
I love living for nothing  
I wish i had no needs..
Unable to relate..
To acts of selfish greed..

Its dusty ill used and dark
And no amount of spring cleaning could rid it of the filth of last september
Where you left it to rot
Mold and ruin
But summers almost over and the flowers of life have bloomed
Where long festival night were spent trying to forget
Dancing that haze minded stupor and sweating out the poision of words and betrayal
Till the grime comes free
The air clears and the echo of your voice fades

first glance
looking my worst nightmare
straight in the eyes
fire raging behind souless irises

touching tounges
swapping spit
the devil's kiss
tasted so sweet
it made me sick

carless caress
i felt the poision
from the grim reaper's skeletal fingers
leak into my veins
intoxicate my bloodstream

gluttonous embrace
stick your knife in my back
slice my heart out of my broken ribs

run your fingers through my hair
satan's got a grip on my mind
make me scream
make me bleed

it is a horror show after all
this romance could be nothing more.

Do you know what is the biggest poision?
It’s “regret”

Thuhadi yaad khai ja rahi menu andro di
Me wife naal
Hoke bi usde naal nai
Me u bare sochi janda
Ap dowa de moments yaad ande
doaba de moments yaad a jande

Pata nai kiwe sakoon milu menu

U da address pata krna koi waddi gal nai
Bus me pata nai krna chanda
Me nai chanda tuci hor dukh jhalo mere krke
Pehla hi bade made time wicho nikle ** mere krke
Te *** mera time he us time wicho niklan da
Waheguru kre me nikal
Jawa is time wicho

alcohol
it's the devil
i swear upon my own future grave

it whispers in your ear like sin
(perhaps that's because that is it's other name)

it tells you
"i'll make you forget about what ails you, off to sleep I'll sail you"
but restless waking and sleep i'll give you, it forgets to mention

but maybe it didn't lie,
you just refused to remember it

or perhaps you did, but it was worth the temporary renderment

after night upon night of retching it's poision, the thoughts flooding back from your stomach
you remember, you always come back to your footing
and each step is little more painful than it was the night before, and you can't seem to get used to it

but please, you must remember, you must avoid the temptation,

you can overcome anything
you have overcome everything
you thought you never could
thus far

you have come this far

refuse, refuse to let alcohol, or anything else, become your end

(be it physically or emotionally)

you are worth the mending
and like a muscle
each time you exercise the discomfort
(in these terms of loving yourself, in refusing numbing these feelings, which you must remember, are a part of yourself)

it will hurt less

it will become easier

it will be worth it.

It is not a quaint construction

Nor is it easily read

But as you enter willing by my own hand

you feel like you will fall endlessly

into the gaps,

not sure where you'll land

And if this viral way of thinking

gets in your head

And you start to feel at home here

Remember

You are always a welcome member

But like the rules of physics are twisted by unforgiving machinations

And reality also with the wielding of imagination

What is possible is

look and touch but

Do not expect you will not to be chided or derided

I reserve all my failings as your own

That's what happens

when you untuck the gray matter in here

You lose your bearings

And I'm in control

I own the red herrings

You are left senses reeling

Mental overload

You cant see who I am in the dark

You can only assume what I'm feeling

Words cannot describe

And I dont care for your descriptions here

What ever your tribe

Don't graffiti over my art.

Dont judge what's on display

You won't have to mind your manners

But you will have to find your own way

Just as you found your way in and maybe out

I never forced you to take part

I didn't try to **** or raise your doubt

I didn't ask you to sing my song

While it swims around your head

But I'm sticky like that

And I'm slippery too

I dont stay on one side or the other

And dont placate or back down

I dont think straight or bent

Here in this space I create my world

And you are just another visitor asking for rent

In a place already filled

And that's the magnificence of it

there's always more space to go around

I didn't hijack your head

I laid it out and you fed

You took it in

You made it

Poision

Or an

Antidote

I just write thoughts

and leave them lying

around as notes.