No hood better than father hood

You were supposed to be my bodyguard and my Therapist
But instead your just a provider
A dad is supposed to be the  ride or die  for their child
A guardian angel
I don’t know who to be mad at you or my mom for choosing you
It’s clear as a crystal that you didn’t want kids it’s not like you don’t say it
I did my best to make you proud of me
But that wasn’t enough
But I made a promise to myself and my future child the father of my child will love his daughter or son unconditionally
A bond strong enough to never be broken

Intoxicated
His  love is in my system
My friends keep telling me to let him go and I tell them  
It’s something about the way he holds me
He never try’s to control me🌬
My friends tell me they miss the old me the old me wouldn’t have fell for him so quick
My friends don’t understand the love I have for him

Because of you I have been sleep deprived
Because of you my heart has a hole in it
Because of you “I love you” means nothing to me
😞

I want my best friend back
I miss staying up late talking about everything....there was nothing we didn’t talk about
We laughed in church even though we tried our hardest not to
Together we laughed anywhere and everywhere
I remember when we would not see each other for like a week and when we saw each other we would run to each other in slow motion

I just wanna drink till I can't feel anything .. but then again once I wake up with a hangover I will feel  everything again... So what would be the point of temporary pain relief? I would rather something that's forever pain relief... I don't wanna be the drunk mom you hate, I don't wanna be the auntie that comes in late , I don't wanna pass my pain on to anyone I rather just disapear, everything is temporary expect death it's a forever thing

Just gonna let love exist without me
I don't need it messing up my life all over again
Making me miss something i don't need making me feel like i need someone when reality i was born alone I'll be ok
But being heartbroken makes u think other wise
"I'll never be happy again" yes you will it all starts with you ❤✨
"I'm never gonna find someone like him or her" yes u will and they will be 10× better then him or her

Love never said i love you back
All it ever did was stab me im the back
Seeing others happy with being in love made me feel like i was missing out on something all i was missing out on was lies,hugs,kisses