"paralysing" poems
The toils of yesterday fade once more
Like the crests of the waves
Leave the anchor of its shore
I make the decision to accept
Then reflect
---------------------
Like the Phoenix
I rise from the ashes
My path I carve
With hands of skill
Determined focused
with an iron will
Until the day
My heart is still
-----------------------
Like the Phoenix
I rise from the ashes
The challenge of darkness
May eclipse
My thoughts
Stealing positive words
From my lips
Paralysing me to my fingertips
But again I will arise once more
Like I've done so many times before
As the crests of the wave
Leaves its anchor of the shore
----------------------------------------
Like the Phoenix
I rise from the ashes
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 6:36 PM UTC
They look out from the terrace.
At the borders of sight
live rocky hills behind brown
and golden and olive crop
under a cloudless sky.
BANG!
An artificial cloud.
“Mira,” she points, “Venga!”
They fly down stairs,
diving like sparrows
into the street.
Boys sprint across pavements and climb;
men vault over fences in time
for news to reach ears.
"¡Ya vienen!"
Excitement and fear.
The rattling of cow bells
and galloping nears.
Men bait and dodge horns
and escape through doors
and up and over
red wooden bars.
Sticks beat on the concrete ground
and closer, louder, gallops sound.
Seconds away –
until the last,
he side steps into a house;
indoors,
apart,
he runs through the foyer
and up the stairs
around a corner
with long strides
too fast to follow.
She chooses left and
sings soprano
when doors won't budge
and
it
crashes
in.
She turns and the fear is paralysing.
"FERMIN!"
"FERMIN!"
"FERMIN!"
He hurdles the stairs
and explodes
but it rams her
to and fro,
thrashing her head
against the wall
where horns
sin and gore
cement and brick.
He clasps the tail
and heaves its hide from
side to side as
hooves smash
crates of wine -
they slip and slide
in fractured glass;
he finds a horn
and yanks the head!
He's yanked instead
near dead before the men
arrive down stairs
to punch and kick it;
strike and stick it
smack and hit it;
'til it
fits and quits
and flees the foyer,
fast and frantic,
flying flustered
by the frenzy,
finally finding
pattering
paves
it
peters
off
down
the
street.
"¿Que ha pasado?
¿Quien ha sido?
¡El Balbotin
y la Chicha!
¡Que una vaca
les ha pillado!"
"¿Estas bien?"
Dizzy she's there
with searching hands
and scolding.
"Podria haber sido peor"
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 7:09 PM UTC
So Much To Do
I watch the parade go by
yet by her I wait
she whispers
see their works
I beg her I need not read
especially what they think of me
I fear not in this idiomatic state
for I rebuke all in this mode
Let me show
let me show
ready
ready
She laid her head on me
when those who presume,killed her
I am not dazzling and grateful
for I did fight all the way
Don't make me break the covenant of peace set
as all will be paralysing to my orders
I need not waste time on affairs of yours
so little time and so much to do
By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
By NeonSolaris
© 2013 NeonSolaris (All rights reserved)
Nov 23, 2013
Nov 23, 2013 at 9:55 AM UTC
If you've never felt the piercing cold of winter,
How would you know the pleasant warmth of a summer's day?
If you do not know of sorrow,
How do you know what is joy?
If you are yet to experience unfathomable failure,
How can you revel in success?
If you have not suffered,
You will not appreciate happiness.
If you've never felt weakness or vulnerability,
How would you know of strength and compassion?
If you do not know of oppression,
How do you know what is freedom?
If you are yet to experience paralysing fear,
How can you be courageous?
If you have not been through heartbreak,
You will not appreciate the beauty of true love.
True love is love that is always returned.
To value the good,
You must first encounter the bad.
Jun 15, 2013
Jun 15, 2013 at 11:11 AM UTC
Why do we possess
Such an intrusive feeling
Which crawls in our veins?
Too many deeds it constrains.
It stares behind the wall
Like a vigilant, wakeful cat
Who has spot its unaware prey.
Suddenly it streams and stays,
Paralysing its cosy habitat.
The Fear has conquered you and mauled.
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 4:50 PM UTC
Panic, panic, panic,
An ecstasy of fear-
What’s wrong with you, don’t you realise your family are near?
My mind is manic-
And all you can say is oh dear?
Can u ever just be here?
Help me with this fear?
Help, that’s all I need to end this paralysing fear,
Not your unhelpful, fault-finding sneer.
Oct 2, 2020
Oct 2, 2020 at 12:20 PM UTC
LISTEN TO ME! – THE MADMAN!
Oct 15 2009 – Damascus, Syria
Ayad Gharbawi
Feeling feelings
That come from nowhere
Sinking my life
While my
Surfaces are barely reaching
Their stable mind
Soulful fright
Sparkles that dazzle, yes, but have no meaning
For myself
Go within
In my mind’s shredded images
That you call vision
But that are for my fractured Self
Incoherent and blurred
I feel only
Smiles of Sickness
Bare teeth of inconceivable stench
Exposing inner frailty
That just turns out
To be my own
Pulsating fear
I guess
I try
Trying to be
What I know
And what I know not
Trying to think
I think
I am
A fright
To you
And myself
Swaying sceneries
Make me dizzy
Yes!
The same sceneries
You people
That you people
Call your
Daily life
Some shine, and some not really
And if you are interested to understand
For my mind
And its Self
The results are fear
And meaningless
All over again
For me
My Tears provoke
You
But, why?
You say,
I’m paranoid?
You fools!
Who exactly are the persons
Do you think
That is, if you think
Look at my finger and where and at whom it is pointing
Again, I scream to you sane citizens
What are their identies
Of those and of them that are today and now
Holding all the thickest drenched sickening ropes
Meant for our fractured
Necks and Brains
Again and again?
When do you think
You may cease
This paralysing pressure?
That you apply
Upon me
Stabbing me?
Piercing?
Slicing?
Hurting?
Me
All
Within
My turmoil
***** is spinning
In my mind
Leave them –
Yes, them!
They are the Christs that are weeping
Hysterically
Moving me
Beyond sanity
While, where are you all?
And your polite rules are
Moving me
Way way far too much
For my stability
Polite subhumans
Flying
Make me
Flying
Make me
Flying from you all
From you all
Let me make me - fly far from you all!
Harrowing
Humans
Listen calmly
To my mind
Listen
To your own
Screams shrieks and all the rest
Before you think to presume to judge
Because you too
Some day
May suddenly
Come to be
Plunging in
My world!
Feb 1, 2010
Feb 1, 2010 at 7:34 AM UTC
sharp blades
cut thin ice
I am wrapped in a cocoon
showered in unconditional light
pitch black, led by street lights
I'm interlacing my soul
across the rink of memories
deathly blades below my childish toes
make one false move
and I drown
between the cracking waters
as my mother is pulling me out
blanketing warmth distances me
from the paralysing thought of the world
Sep 15, 2017
Sep 15, 2017 at 4:51 AM UTC
I watched her smile bounce off,
The reflection on that last teardrop.
Her lips twisted in a reticent scoff,
The grains in the hourglass, begging to stop.
She looked deeply into my eyes,
Willing every last ounce of truth inside.
While her sensitive heart tried,
Not to take me on a traumatic ride.
I see the glance at the screen,
And her melancholic sigh at the tune.
Trying hard to forget what they mean,
Seeking solace in the rays of the moon.
She remembers the touch of your hand,
When I softly take hers in mine.
How you held each and every strand,
For that she unintentionally pines.
She doesn't want it to be true,
But it always comes back to you.
We took walks by the lake,
Tossing stones into the blue abyss.
The memories I tried to make,
She always seemed to miss.
I looked deeply into her eyes,
While she returned it with an almost apologetic sigh.
The remnants of much stronger ties,
A bond not reflected in mine.
She doesn't want it to be true,
But she's getting closer to realising.
It's something which she knew,
Its effect on me, no less paralysing.
The touch of her hand was tender,
And she smiles softly at me.
Knowing I could not mend her
Heart, something I should've seen.
I look at myself in the mirror,
With her standing by my side.
I wondered what the image was for her,
And was answered when she barely tried.
She can't fight it any longer,
No matter how much she wishes it wasn't true.
No, neither of our hearts were that bit stronger,
As always, it came back to you.
As always, she came back to you.
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016 at 10:59 AM UTC
We are one in the same
Observing quietly unseen
Hidden in the corners
Sometimes in plain sight
We are misjudged
That irrational fear
Paralysing and frightful
Mistaken for evil
We are the saviours
More so than angels
Our appearance though
Induces hatred and terror
We remain shadows
Ever watchful and protecting.
Aug 16, 2011
Aug 16, 2011 at 6:52 AM UTC
Patches the pirate.
Meek on the outside.
A titan on the inside.
Bringing win percentages up,
more than Rag shots can.
Shaking up aggro,
seasoning it with salt.
A legendary,
striking paralysing fear.
2 years across 7 seas,
in ladder- and touney-decks.
“Hahaha,”Ben Brode chuckled,
“I’m in charge” soon come to an end.
May 31, 2018
May 31, 2018 at 9:57 AM UTC
Each pace forward moved the summit further
As I climbed my Everest, twenty-nine thousand and six
Footsteps in the past, twenty-two more to go,
When suddenly the mount, the goddess,
Mother of the Universe, smiled at me from above.
Her grace was gentle though her presence alone
Felt like a menace. I knew I carried within me
All the ignominy of human being. An offense to her essence,
Physics and doing, ‘How dare I be there, scramble over
And trample her only to prove to my Self I could?
Fear suggested my surrender, retrace my steps
Back to humbleness, place my Self where it belonged.
Yet I froze and could not move, immensity had got the best
Of me, making me believe that I was too little of a creature
To attempt being greater than what I was.
The paralysing nature of such ludicrous belief had me
Hanging from a root seeking to survive despite it.
The goddess continued to smile at me from above, unwilling
To help, I thought. And as I was losing my grip, conquered by fatigue,
She spoke: ‘If you trust in me, let go!’ and so I did.
May 26, 2017
May 26, 2017 at 5:20 AM UTC
Drown me in the lies of your affection and care,
Feelings that we both know are only there
Because you snorted that **** and swallowed that pill,
Even though you know its not true you will
Spill beautiful syllables of how you miss me,
And that all you think about is to kiss me.
swallow me up in black moon of your dilated pupils that whisper lies,
Let me swim in the oceans of your eyes.
I miss you more than you miss me,
And that’s a guarantee,
Tell me those 3 paralysing words again,
Lie to me again.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 6:50 PM UTC
We are born without teeth
yet, instinctively bite
peach lips forming circles
around fingers,
I remember the first bite,
he was pale and wore dusty
jeans. He came into my
bedroom, offering wine
he had laced with crushed
pills, unknowing that
to me his skin was laced
with ecstasy
the numbers mount up
in the same way they
fade, days disappearing
when a calendar turns,
memories are meant to
etch themselves into
our bones, but I realised
that it was blood, blood
that preserved our former
selves, each drop a day,
each mouthful a moment,
they think I bite out of
spite, out of fury and
rage
but I am merely a collector
of moments that do not
belong to me, a predator
of the passage of time
I am gluttonous, I admit
but feeding on men that
prey on women does not
seem like greed,
I remember....
the night I was bitten.
He was tall and tattooed,
I liked his shoes,
***** flowing like water,
clear, crystal water
purifying (I thought)
until it hit my brain
paralysing all thought
and then...
Hell moved inside me,
a self-gratifying demon,
inked with a dragon,
as gunless as I
was Godless
I bite these men now,
these haters of women,
who **** and drink and dare
to slip a finger in,
I am reflection -
less and yet I know
what a mirror would show
about me,
the exit left of the battered
woman, who dared to change
her set, her scenery, her script
no, I am not ashamed of the
blood I take, but I am not
an animal who kills
for sport, for fun, for food
I am vengeful, I am every woman
sick of settling for less,
I am that woman you pitied
then despised,
I am that girl on a cold
bedroom floor, reborn
with fangs
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 2:32 PM UTC
I HAVE A FANTASY TO TELL.
The last day, I'll be lying in bed, the room won't be familiar with white walls and some machines around, one of them showing my heartbeats drifting slowly and slowly towards silence. When there will be only one door left, and death will be waiting to greet me ahead.
Apart from my own noisy breath there's nothing to be heard and then, there will be a sudden knock on the door. As I'll see the person, my senses will be robbed and replaced by a paralysing fear. A fear of "last time". "Stay with me, just a little more,
As Its time for destiny to close the doors.
Maybe it is the last time,
You are mine and i am yours." I'll whisper to you smiling and my eyes full of tears.
Adding on I'll say "l love you and I'm gonna love you forevermore". You'll ask me for a dance. And the music will play " Lag jaa gale, ke fir ye hasi raat ** na ** shayad fir iss janam mulaakat ** na ** Feared from all my fears I'll grab you more close, and we'll dance to live my eternity on toes. With no life left in my body I'll still move and I'll bring my face close to yours just to feel you breathe for the last time. I'll look into your eyes to look me there, and kiss your cheeks to bid goodbye with care.
As my eyesight will blur , my desperate arms will clutch you tightly, my eyes still there and i will feel myself blink, still instinctively moisturizing the organs I will have no use for. And then I'll realise my breath fading away, I'll close my eyes and rest my head on chest.
Slowly and slowly my body will calm down and this pain will come to rest. Embraced in your arms I'll drown to my last breath.
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 12:41 PM UTC
“I walk hand-in-hand with darkness,” he began,
the man with no eyes.
“You have no idea of the horrors I have seen,
of the fears that have touched my soul,
the hurt of a love lost in a dark night.”
The children sat still.
“Death is the only guarantee in your lives;
she is the only thing to bet on and win every time.
I have seen her carry away so many lives now
I become convinced I will be visited personally next.”
The children fidgeted, uncomfortable and unsure.
“If you want happiness, **** yourselves whilst you are still children,
when you are naïve to the ways of the real world.”
A parent attempted an interjection.
The children stared, confused.
“The meaning of life is obscured by sorrow.
You are learning in the kindergarten of woe.
Insecurities run your engine.
Prejudice snuffs your fire.
By peering into the gaping maw of that tarry, endless black,
you appreciate how easy it is to
Just
Let
Go.”
A child began to sob,
more at the tone of the eyeless man’s voice
than the syllables and interpretations of those sounds.
Parents gathered around an imaginary fire,
faces facing faces facing faces
and shadows hid a smile on one.
A devil always hides in a band of angels,
“…blood-stained angels…”
The knives cut and sliced and soon
the next-generation abattoir housed but two.
A storyteller and his demons
laughing at the wolf moon,
young bones breaking under foot.
Wine glasses full of young blood
and shards of everlasting death.
The man with no eyes embraces his demons
and slips silently into the paralysing void,
his laugh spilling into the still of the night.
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 12, 2015 at 6:18 PM UTC
Hatred and pain are such strong motivators
Stabbing pain like the jaws of alligators
I'm not the best with words, so don't try debate this
Coz I'm feeling so high, so ************* elated
Hands curled and heavy breathing
Pain and bloodlust are all I'm feeling
My eyes dark holes where darkness is bleeding
And all my sanity is ******* receding
Are you receiving?
Are you still needing?
Wanting
The end of all my hatred and pain,
All those days that I had nothing to gain
So I acted with no shame,
Ripping hearts
And tearing body parts
Out of a need
To be seen
Clearly
As what hides underneath
The monster free
Like a sword from a sheath
Hatred keeps me going strong
Pain makes blood fall
And my heart stall
First rule
Of the emotions
Is hatred is used in locomotion
And pain is what stops you,
A paralysing potion
That ends your motion
Stops your momentum
Completely
and then some
Trying to defeat me
Secretly
You just want me to fight back,
You want a piece of me?
Come get some
Once it starts it stops when I am done
Shred you up just for fun
Lusting for blood and adrenaline runs
Hatred and Pain
Day after day
Pulsing my temple
Making my head sway
But I enjoy it for the power
That allows me to devour
Those who try to speak louder
Talk **** and now a blood shower
Boom
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 2:47 AM UTC
You know those tears I so often shed?
They are but beads of so many emotions yet also the absence of such
My eyes leak until they are tired
You think these tears make me weak
That I am ruined
Yet I weep for I am tortured
I weep for I am grateful
I weep for I know not how to live without such intensity
I weep for those I cannot help
I weep for those who lost the battle I continue to fight
I weep for the ones I love and the love I won when I met him
I weep to cleanse my body of all evil
But mostly I weep to remind myself that I am still alive
My heart beats even when it is hurting
My soul sings louder to compensate for the times it has been crushed
For it wishes to be heard above the chorus of supressed hopes and dreams
The fear has made me a coward, you say
But no, I persevere
Despite the trepidation you fail to understand, I remain
To weep and be heard weeping is strength like no other
To be vulnerable in the face of judgement
In the presence of such paralysing fear that holds you hostage and mercilessly lingers
Is to be an injured soldier in the war that is life
But to never surrender
Jan 12, 2018
Jan 12, 2018 at 10:53 PM UTC
Standing alone on this wild shore
experiencing sensual sand between my toes
the coolness, comforting, caressing
A warmth securely surrounds me
My eyes, not seeing
My body absorbing all
I was aware of you before me, so close
devoid of sound like an old movie
except I could hear us breathing
The wind felt firm and warm,
it was creating movement around us
Seeing you and your smile lifted everything in me
yet I wanted to let forgotten tears fall
My heart was beating with exhilaration
so close to one another
but without an embrace or caress
Iridescent sparkles coloured your eyes
they bore deep, paralysing me
I couldn't have left you if I'd wanted to
Why couldn't we stay this way?
Forever on this wild shore
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
I remembered my first love.
I remember how it feels,
how it tastes,
how it sounds..
so kind,
so naive,
so pure,
so sweet,
so stupid.
I remembered my first heart break.
I remember how it feels,
how it tastes,
how it sounds.
so awful,
so painful,
so nauseous,
so paralysing
so stupid.
however, I've got no regret.
I smile and yeah, whatever
everything happens for a reason.
and I don't want to know the reason why.
wink
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 9:39 AM UTC
i feel it, it's returned
the desire i swore i'd never have again
falling into bed with her once more,
and though she hasn't kissed my wrists
i can feel the phantom throbbing;
she pulses her way through my veins, keeps me weak
has me sobbing
my sweet, sadistic lover
"did you really think it was over?"
i hoped, i dreamed
but it fell apart in my hands and now i'm down to my knees
she curls around my back, murmurs melancholy melodies 'til my head hurts and my ears ring
"i told you you'd never live without me"
perfect, twisted irony
her fingertips are scorching; i can feel the scars forming
but i'm so cold it's paralysing
the ice is deafening—i can't hear reason
her touch is the allure that leaves me reeling
i wish i had the courage to end this, but i'm a coward, scared and weak and collapsing
like lungs, and i can't breathe for screaming
i said she'd never win but losing feels so tempting
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 8:50 PM UTC
my facade slowly being torn
delicately ripping little by little
letting darkness seep through
lovingly caressing my soul
tugging on it, pulling me back halting me,
paralysing me
until I cave, and I am finally drained
Jul 15, 2021
Jul 15, 2021 at 1:52 PM UTC
Through the pain,
All the rainy days,
The cries to sleep,
All night I’d weep,
The sudden realisations,
And paralysing sadness,
Triggering’s of jealousy,
Feelings controlling me,
I’ve learn that,
Time controls everything,
Circumstance decides all,
And patience is a skill,
Always to be improved,
Comparison is the thief
Of joy,
Appreciation is the key
To happiness,
Through all that’s happene,
I guess what I’m trying to say,
It’s so hard to say, I miss you,
And I learned that, I need you.
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 3:32 PM UTC