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JWolfeB Aug 2014
I try to change my socks everyday.

Otherwise i get all tripped up on my past.

Sometimes my life feels like lint between toes.

Rubbed off raw material from a malfunctioned owner.

Getting washed down a drain at the end of the day.

Taken away from a broken home.

Drowning without a chance to breathe anyway.
Thoughts about the way my mind has been working today
Lucy Tonic Jan 2012
There’s a god in this space computer
There’s a person in this space cocoon
There’s a spirit in red defeating the holy
There’s a trio of sailors flying past the moon
There’s a left-handed man drifting in a probe
There’s an astronaut gliding in an earlobe
There’s a malfunctioned leader stuck on Mars
There’s a determined machinist amidst the stars
There’s a sacred yellow Judas in the jaws of life
There’s a bloated bellow shooting from the tree of strife
There’s a solitary soldier among the aliens
There’s a black slab of faith between here and then
There’s an eight-pointed star of architectural riddles
There’s a cow, a spoon, a dog and a fiddle
There’s a god at number two, a bird at number three
And there’s always Jupiter to seem higher than thee
There’s an eye full of molecules
There’s an eye full of stars
There’s a blind man full of loneliness
There’s an empty void at large
Edward Coles Jun 2015
I remember the first time I *******,
I thought I was having a seizure-
or that I had somehow malfunctioned the Matrix
and had broken through
a fold of reality;
some white-noise ladder to greater plains,
throbbing, animal convulsions,
and a peak that only death
could overpower.

I remember crashing into shame
upon my return, versus the smug welcome
of oxytocin and my adult life;
not knowing to what extent
my ***** would dominate my mind;

you know, I cannot write a poem
without noticing my loneliness,
all the ******* I have left behind.
For that moment, in my New Found ******,
I was paralysed at the thought of a sober life,
and ever since that moment,
ever since that night,
I have been searching for those higher plains
in the lowest branches of myself.

Now I smoke my fill and redden my eyes
to bleed out old anxieties,
dry up old tears whilst softening scars
that I have collected over years
spent indoors, hiding from danger.
I remember the first time I *******,
how it came to me by accident,
a repeated motion of unknown emotions;
the undulations in her breath;
even now I still sit by myself,
and make love out of whatever is left.
(C) 26.05.2015
jerely Aug 2018
the mind that is floating in the air
waiting for the bell to ring inside
only alarmed when danger is there
creating worry and confusion
as the words begin to be lost
everything is malfunctioned
including the state of the body
can’t eat, can’t move, can’t sleep,
& can’t think well;
just being frozen
by the sudden scenario
off nothing
in the senses.
the trigger that makes you so ill
it will never ever get away from you
unless something is ticking in
that will make you at ease
and come back
to what life should really mean.
i  am inspired to write this
because of the book that i read
and it made me think about life
and death
that we should never ever waste
our time not doing what we love.



August 2,2018
Jerelii
Copyright
Creases cemented in skin of ages,
bending forward ratcheting wrinkles
piled like a car crash, systemically dried
routing for moisture moguls, malfunctioned,
marked measures of time spelt skin attack,
pillowed ruts run deep, prolonging
their birthmark, plumping....out on a date
with new age spaces yet to be filled

Sarcasm streets, filching frowned brows
suns' stolen chastity, lifting out brown
messages spotted at random
grey mandarins, juiceless, bribing
to be heard, a manifesto hidden,
shrivelled prunes wallowing in dried skins
reaching out for the bottomless custard jug
grace Jun 2015
"what do you think I should do?"
you looked in between your fingers and said to me
don’t be her cigarette
don’t let her light you up when there’s nothing to do and
put you out once she’s bored.
don’t be the aftertaste of chemicals in her mouth.
don’t be the black **** she spits onto the sidewalk.
don’t be convenient.
don’t be one of twenty in a pack of Marlboros.
so I left her.

you always knew what to say.
I never would have guessed that two months later
I would call you crying to say goodbye
hoping you would at least make a half assed attempt to care
with my phone in my left hand
and a handful of pills overflowing in my shaking right,
I never could have guessed you would’ve answered
with a complaint about how I woke you up.

I landed in the E.R.
like a skydiver lands in the ocean—
fumbling to unbuckle yourself from the parachute
sinking heavy in the salt water
being dragged down by the very fabric that was supposed to save me
trying to claw your way back up to the surface
like desperately clawing at the ceiling of your coffin
like lungs about to burst
like vision blurred
I was drowning
the thing that was supposed to save me
sunk me.
I sat under the florescent lights
that first night
wondering if you had called back
knowing you hadn’t
the whole week I picked at the white bracelet on my wrist
“female, 5’6”, 115 pounds, INPATIENT.”
While wondering if you cared
but knowing you don’t
But hoping you did
because it’s hard to hear for months the
“I’m not going anywhere
I love you
I’m right here
Call whenever you need it
at 3 in the morning or at 3 pm
you don’t need a reason to call if you
want to call just to hear my voice call.
we have something special
and I hope we never loose it
you’re my best friend
I was meant to have met you”—
*******.
You were my parachute.

The message I had from you
when I got discharged from the psych ward was:
“I have a lot going on and won’t be able to reply much.”

You always know what to say.

You pulled me under
you, heavy fabric
you, life-saving-invention
you, malfunctioned *******.
you—chain-smoker.
I have been one of twenty in her pack of Marlboros.
And now I’m one of twelve in your pack of Camels.

I've since quit smoking.
Tien - Tim Jul 2013
You used me like a joystick,
Played with my emotions.
You pressed me until I malfunctioned.
Should've known when I saw your Xbox (ex's box).
You had me running around 360.
Now that I'm broke,
You can no longer be controlling.
You had me in this love triangle,
O by the way your X (ex) is a square.
You selected to start this confusion,
And that wasn't fair,
Should've known you're a cheat.
We're on different platforms,
Get off my network,
Cause we can't connect on many levels like Wifi.
I believed in your game, but it was all fake, Syfy.
Your lies was graphic,
You left me stagnant,
And gave me the cold shoulder.
I'm pulling this cord,
Game over.
So ******* and get outta my system!
By Sidney Conway and Tien Dang

If you are not a gamer here are some references:
Ps3 controller has X, square, O, and triangle buttons, also a select and start button (Xbox 360 have different button labels).
Playstation and Xbox network can't cross play, they segregate the network by platforms.
Tying a string to loan
Coercing a poor country,
Under the yoke of poverty
To squawk and groan,
Also making
The noose tighter, tighter
So that aid it fails to garner,
Allow a hypocrite donor
To flog the receiver
Into a restricted domain
To every donor’s whim
Saying “Amen.”

Tragically, this way receiver’s
Development wishes
And growths’ talk
Will go up in smoke.

In such manner,
With malfunctioned cog,
Receiver turns
The tail of the donor dog,
.
On the other hand,
For donor’s
Geopolitical advantage,
With preferential treatment
The ingratiating donor’s pet,
Pampered, will enjoy
Jealously -strewn
Dream’s fulfillment
To its heart’s content,
While the pushover
Smothered, maltreatments
Has to suffer.

It is such strings
The pushover-made
Ethiopia managed to cut
To generate much-needed
Over 5000 Megawatt.
Megawatt, which commands,
On the back, many a pat.

In so doing
Ethiopia has set an example
Emerging countries
Could realize
Developmental take off
By own dabble
Ramming home donors’
Double standard is
What they can
Do without, while in
Birth cry bout.

Chopping the string
With a self-esteem knife
Ethiopia born GERD to life
Tapping Abay (Blue Nile)—
A confluence of rivers,
Which are rife.

Ethiopia is
Tapping its gigantic river
That originates from its soil
To do away with women’s
Back-breaking toil.

Ethiopia is harnessing
Its prodigal river
To avoid fetching firewood,
Chocked with smoke,
To prepare food.

Ethiopia is subduing
Its God-bestowed river
To outreach with light
Students that study
Late into the night
For want of
A reading lamp
That use smoky lantern
In far-flung corners of
The country’s
Schools’ map.

Ethiopia is
Forcing the river
Yield a hand
So that
Nation’ demand
Electricity—
Mushrooming industries’
Lifeblood—
Soon, will flow
Like an irrigating flood.

Ethiopia is
Taming the wild river
In a bid
Environment-friendly
GERD starts
Generating hydropower soon
To let the region enjoy
The unprecedented boon.

When GERD materializes,
The heinous, covetous
Donors’ pet ,
Which claims to date
The river is
Its exclusive right
Will be
Coerced to stop
Eclipsing the country’s
Affluence hope.

The less privileged
Round the globe
Which are
Under the same fate
Ethiopia’s
Development ******
Could emulate.

Soon Ethiopia will
Join the club
Countries marked
Industrial hub.

You know something?
Arm twisting
Is the mystery of the string!
So go for bootstrapping
Use shoestring.
Current unfolding
‘You’ve come to the end, it’s sad, my friend
But there’s nothing more we can do,
Your kidneys have malfunctioned, and
You’re at the end of the queue.
You’d best be making your Will out now
Or you may run out of time,
There’s just a question of fifteen thou’
You owe for our work, just sign!’

‘I’ll not be signing my life away
Just now, though it’s almost done,
I may be taking a walk someday
But not ‘til I’ve had some fun.
You say I’ve only a week or two
To spend, and that’s at the best,
I’ll cram the rest of my living in
With the help of a Prescient Vest.’

The Prescient Vest, the brainchild of
A Silicone Valley clone,
It calculated the path of life
From the life already known,
It fed its images through a brain
That would never live to see
The normal span of the life of man
Through some abnormality.

So Kevin fronted the Institute
And was strapped into a chair,
Fitted with Vest and Headpiece
And was virtually aware,
It drained the memories of his life
That flashed on past his sight,
And stored them into a tiny file
Just less than a Gigabyte.

And then it started to calculate
Beginning with his wife,
It showed her having a sweet affair
With the boarder, Stanley Smythe,
They both attended his funeral
And she leant upon his arm,
And held the wake with a Currant cake
At Stanley’s father’s farm.

Then Kevin struggled within his bonds
And tried to say, ‘Not true!’
But then his favourite daughter came
Quite suddenly into view,
She stole the funeral money he’d
Been keeping in a jar,
Then jumped on into his Thunderbird
And drove off with his car.

She let her idiot boyfriend in
To sit behind the wheel,
But all he could see were dollar signs
And a car he’d like to steal,
He dropped her off at a candy shop
Drove off and left his Pam,
While only a half a mile away
He ended under a tram.

Kevin suffered a minor fit
At the wreck of his pride and joy,
But didn’t suffer a single qualm
At the death of the stupid boy,
His job had gone to a minor clerk,
Dumped records in the bin,
The careful working of twenty years
That he’d spent compiling them.

Then Stanley got at his savings and
He frittered them away,
His wife was clueless, she let him sell
The house he’d slaved to pay,
The future, once he had gone was not
The thing he’d visualised,
He strained and screamed at the Techs,
‘Just get this thing from off my eyes!’

He staggered home in a mood and took
Some gas from out the car,
Splashed it around the house, and took
The cash from the funeral jar,
He threw a match and it all went up
Though he didn’t know or care,
That his wife and Stan were up above
When the flames went up the stair.

He jumped on into the Thunderbird
And went for a long, last ride,
Along the Beachside Boulevard,
And once he had stopped, he died!
They’ve banned the use of the Prescient Vest
With a raft of bills and laws,
‘The future needs to be locked,’ they said,
‘For the damage it might cause!’

David Lewis Paget
Chance Sep 2014
Its hard to think about numbness taking away huge chunks of me as a person
It keeps eating away at parts of my internal wiring until there's nothing but bare metal
Depression has somehow become a trend
Id gladly trade places with any of you to feel again
Please
Take this plague from my body
Take the weights off of my soul
I am losing control
I truly ache for anyone who can truly relate to this indifferent identity
I wouldn't wish this sickness upon my worse enemy
My mind screams so loud i expect every last ******* entity on this earth to hear it
Death to anyone who opposes my spirit
Even if its myself
I am past the point of help
My malfunctioned parts collect dust on a shelf
Self inflicted surgery at the time seemed to be the only way to ensure my health
There are pictures hanging everywhere of my body with the face cut out
I find no solace in how i look now
I've broken every mirror in my house
21 years of bad luck no reason to stop now
Encase me in cement and break me across the ground
So i can taste the dirt and get kicked around
One last time
I had this dream a few night ago that I was on a plane and the ******* plane malfunctioned and we started falling from the sky. I just ******* started crying because I knew I woulf probably die. I don't remember anyone else being on the plane. I think it was just me and the pilot. We were both about to ******* crash into the ocean and die. Anyway, when I woke up, I was crying then too. I'm a real pathetic 18 year old baby. How old are people usually when they're in first grade? Back when I was in first grade I would cry during thunderstorms. I remember when Katrina came by. I was really ******* done then. A remember telling my parents that I loved them. I remember I used to have anxiety attacks because I thought that when I died I'd go to hell. I thought I'd go to hell because when I was in 2nd grade I stole like 10 packs of Pokemon cards from some gas station. I still feel guilty about it, but I don't think much about going to hell.
The plane is crashing and it's just me and the pilot. I don't even know his name but I know that we're going to die together.
Dave Gledhill Jan 2015
We
There, beneath the ice.
Frozen.
An unready meal, unfit for consumption.
A drowning dalek, malfunctioned.
All intellect, no gumption.

There, amongst the trees.
Falling.  
Too eager to please,
all smiles and bended knees,
platitudes float by on breeze.

There, left in the rain.
Forgotten.
Torn head stitched back again -
a pale plaster-cast of pain.
Her mask descending down the drain.  

There, amid the crowd.
Brazen.
Talking painfully too loud,
arrogance veils like a shroud,
inside, her head stays bowed.

There, across the street.
Timid.
Hoping that we meet,
shuffling feet on summer heat,
Her broken heart won't beat.

Here, an open road.
Curious.
A rerun or new episode?
Traffic slowed,
this time, we go.
I understand why they talk about a fine line.
It hurts my heart to look at you,
A physical pain
Manifesting in palpitations.
The western way to deal with pain
is to excise what hurts, what has malfunctioned,
What has gone bad within us.
In order to excise you,
I must force myself to hate you.
The alternative damages me.
I have to cut you out.
Aisling O' L Oct 2013
Losing my touch on reality,
as my hand print fades off the window screen
and I'm waiting, waiting but I don't know what for...
Living for now but I'm lost in a vision
I'm Alice,
I'm falling,
falling
because I think all the crazy people are the best too.
Wishing I was crazier and you were too.
Why do you plaque my dreams but never appear in my reality?  
Only to leave dust covered thoughts
that are suspended in the air
words never said.
You don't know how I love too much, too passionately.
Do you know me at all?  
With a heart so malfunctioned and constant as mine.
Does this scare you? Is that my crime? 
 You don't know me, not really
but you've stolen your way into my nightly monologue 
 like a thief in the night. 
It leaves me to wonder-
 Will I dream tonight?
Or will I see you and your forget me knots in real life?
Heidi Werner Sep 2021
I imagine walking on a balance beam
I have only just gotten the hang of it
Before this moment I had always fallen off.
I know that I'm going to mess up
I keep telling myself
“its ok to mess up you’re still learning”
Yet I feel an overwhelming need
To be successful, just this once.
To complete my walk.
And I do, I complete the walk.
So, because things have gone well
I walk again, and I find success
I begin to trust my own two feet
I walk again and again and again
Each time I make it to the other end
Each time I become more prideful
This next time I move too quickly
I try to go faster, still making it
I stagger half-way through
But I think nothing of it
So I hasten my step
And I stagger again
But my mind blocks out
The possibility of falling.
I go faster and faster
Until I am at a full on sprint
No longer am I teetering
On this beam below my feet
I believe that I am perfect
No one can touch me
I believe that I am the best
And that no one else can go this fast
I am in competition with the entire world
I am in competition with only myself
Only myself
Myself
Me
Me
I am nothing
I am a fake
I am useless
I am ugly and worthless
And the exact opposite of perfect
I quickly mask these thoughts
Telling myself
“You can push through”
And for a time I do
I have boundless energy
I can run as fast as possible
I make it to the other end of the balance beam
Then suddenly an impulse
My body takes over
And without explanation
I am flying through the air
100 miles a minute
Crashing into a bottomless abyss
I lie still for a moment on the mat below
Looking up towards the beam
Where I once stood so proud
I pick myself up
I decide I am an elite gymnast
And I am an astronaut
I am a long distance runner
And a 5 star chef
And a doctor
And a bird
And a rock climber
And a rock
And a brilliant professor
And an angel
And a world renowned artist
And, and, and, and
I twirl around and dance
I sing to no one
I am an opera singer
I rush to the water fountain
It is Niagara Falls
Splash, “watch out, you’ll get wet”
I say this to an audience of no one
I am an actor on broadway
“Ain’t no one round here as good as me”
Then in my periphery
There are shadows
I cannot stop moving
Never stop moving
If I stop moving the shadows will crawl around me
Creeping in through my nose
My mouth and my ears
Telling me things I never want to hear
So I run
I run so hard and so fast
That I forget everything
I am existing inside each moment only
I don’t know where I am or where I am heading
but I continue to run
Until I am surrounded by trees
And I remember everything again
I remember the balance beam
Why did I leave the balance beam?
It felt natural and simple
to just walk
to just walk and stay balanced
Why am I in the woods?
And then the thoughts come
And the shadows come with them
So I climb a tree
In hopes that the shadows
Will pass quietly underneath
I am painfully quiet
But the thoughts are still here
I cannot hide
I cannot run
I cannot get away
They race in my brain
They course through my veins
They are evil thoughts
They taunt me, saying
“This world is without reason”
“Your life is pointless”
“You are crazy”
“You will never be anything”
“Jump! jump! jump!”
I am high up in this tree
I am safe from the shadows here
But the thoughts never leave
I cannot break free
So I give in
Maybe if I listen to them
I will release the pressure that builds inside me
Suddenly I am compelled
To leap from this tree branch to the next
I fling myself through the air
believing I will fly like a bird
Because the thoughts said I could
I black out as I fall back to the earth
Suddenly I am on the ground
Not even remotely sure
Of how I got here
I lie there for a few moments
And then out of the corner of my eye
I see the shadows
They move through the woods like smoke
Like a black fog
Like death creeping towards me
So I quickly pull myself to my feet
And I am in a full on sprint once more
I don’t know which direction I am headed
Or where I am
Or if I'm even running
And then it hits me
A car
I am on the highway
flying over the hood of a sedan
Crashing into the ground
My skin burns as it moves across the asphalt
I become a mound In the middle of the road
I imagine that I am a pile of dirt
I will not move
I will just do what dirt does
What does dirt do?
My body burns, my skin is on fire
Can dirt catch fire?
The world moves slow
Does dirt move faster than the world around it
Does dirt experience time differently?
Someone is talking to me
Which is absurd
Who talks to dirt?
Sirens crowd the traffic of my cochlear nerve
It is the only thing I can hear
My brain starts to malfunction
Like a computer flooded with a virus
I hear the siren repeat
It loses a note with each repetition
Until all I hear is one note
One note
I close my eyes
I am completely numb
Something in me knows I have to fight
“I've forgotten what I started fighting for”
I believe that if my eyes are closed
No time passes
I allow this break in time to go on
I need to separate myself from time for a moment
Allow myself to think
To reassess
To gather what has occurred
What has occurred?
Feeling a little panicked at the thought of not knowing
I open my eyes
I am in a room
I try to move
But my body won’t listen to my intentions
I look down and see metal rods sticking out of me
Now, I remember
I am a robot getting serviced
That’s all this is
It’s probably why I malfunctioned
No biggie
a robotic technician walks in
she asks me how I feel
I answer
“What an absurd question,
Robots do not feel”
She looks at me with kind eyes
“Ok, thanks for your input”
She leaves the room
Closing the door behind her
The darkness licks at the bottom of the door
It seeps through and envelopes the room
I cannot see
I hold my breath
I do not feel
I give up
The darkness begins to course through my veins
It twists through every corner of my being
Walking through the corridors of my body
Leaving menacing thoughts in its wake
Then, without warning
Everything becomes red
Red feels like pain
It tastes like needles
So I try to occupy my mind with things
Anything to distract me from the pain
I scream audibly
I scream a song
If Im singing I am distracted
“I'm a little teacup short and stout
Here is my handle here is my spout”

I imagine all this
Stuck inside my own mind
Making up foolish stories
But, this is what it's like
This is what it will become
This is what I will become
Bipolar seeps through my brain
Attaching old forgotten pathways
Lighting them all up at once
Then with similar speed
Making them all go dark
In and out, up and down
A never ending merry-go-round
But, somewhere in all this
Is me.
Craig Harrison Jul 2014
Once there was nothing, no time, nothing
but something strange happened
there was a birth, it's very old now
we call it the Universe

The Universe had many children
all of different shapes, sizes, colors but all very beautiful
we call them Galaxies

Those Galaxies aged and had children of their own
called solar systems and they had children called planets
and those planets had children called life








Billions of years passed
that life had children called machines
but everything that as a beginning as an end
and the machines malfunctioned
the life died out
planets were destroyed
solar systems perished
galaxies fell apart
and the Universe continued to age, watching as its children died
not able to save them, not able to do anything.

As time drifted by the Universe got sick
been eaten away by a virus called Black holes
destroying everything the Universe had left
and eventually dieing
Based on the multiverse theory which I believe in, there is the probability that one universe somewhere will never die and all life will live on. Maybe just maybe it will be this universe
Yet again my radar malfunctioned.
Let me down.
Disappointed and reminded
That
Love
Of all things
Is apparently disposable
Like everything else
In this
World of waste
Ripping off Goyte and Kimbra....
Claire Hanratty Nov 2017
Running and laughing as the sun went down,
She looked like a free spirit.
She thought she was, too,
But her green screen walls malfunctioned all of a sudden;
It was pitch-black with no sound
And the floor was made of dandelion clocks
That disappeared as
Time ran out.

Soon she lay down,
Embedded in the earth,
And looked up to find Ursa Major hanging by a string.
She waved at the puppeteer and smiled but when he left to wash his hands,
She frowned.
When she was younger,
The names of constellations led her to believe that all of the bears behind bars
Were born from the sky.
Naivety was prevalent in that young, fuzzy mind,
But now she knew that it was all a lie.
Sophie Apr 2015
Pet
They know better than any
even with malfunctioned brain
They learn through
feelings
experiences
senses
Mostly--
it  works better than human.
Because*--
because they're not human anyway.
Amanda Stoddard Oct 2015
I broke again today-
and then again by starting another poem this way.
I wonder when the repetition will stop
and the consistency will start.
Frozen in time-
constantly running into this art form
face-first and feet last.
I am head over heels again
but not in the romantic comedy kind of way.
In the way that my head travels faster than I can catch it
these emotions flee past me before I can process them.
Frozen in time like I am an old desktop computer
waiting for the signal to go through-
just waiting for that connection
that eventually gets lost in space
and you are defeated by technology again.
Well my mind is the processor-
it has malfunctioned for the last time
and I cannot compute really anything anymore.
I am alone-
a hard drive that only contains one component,
you could try to fit more on but there is no space left.
Nothing left to secure me
and you didn't eject me properly this time
you took me out before I was ready to disconnect.
Now I slow you down-
every time I am used for your gain.
All because your unwarranted rejection
caused a malfunction in my process
so now I am the one slowing down.
They tried to fix me.
But I just won't work anymore.
Trevon Ray Sep 2016
Embrace the Dark: Meaning to accept the dark emotions that have surfaced from within me.

You Call a Home: Meaning the source of my darkness is from my very own homestead. Even though I know it’s full of darkness, I still remain within it… which means it’s possible that I’m unknowingly embracing it.

Gaze Upon an Empty White Throne: Meaning the absence of my Father which would be considered a white throne due to the fact of the mystery surrounding his sudden disappearance, however my Mother has already claimed the black throne due to her sheer ruthless, terrorizing, abusive, arrogant, dark and sinister personality complex.

A Legacy of Lies: I know nothing of my past. No family tree or anything, just… blank. Almost as if all of my ancestors were erased from existence. Also the fact of not knowing what truly happened to my Father, and the constant fear that my life has just been a mountain of lies and deceit is a legacy of fear I feel almost every day.

A Familiar Disguise: Me sealing away who I truly am inside to please the people around me. It’s a familiar disguise because it is used constantly and in a variety of different ways depending on the person being spoken to from my point of view. Also me trying to hide from the past I’ve forged into my family’s legacy forever…

Sing With Me a Song: Me pleading the people around me to sing along to the deceit I announce. Begging them to sing with me the song of despair and malfunctioned personal identity… who am I anymore anyway?

Of Conquest and Fate: Me forging a conquest to eliminate all opposing opposition within the workforce to make sure I arrive on top… even though my morality simply won’t allow that to happen… it’s a tragic yet fair-hearted fate I’ve created for myself.

The Black Pillar Cracks: Me feeling the dark impulse about to crack through my sealing black pillar. The fact that I’ve been trying to hold back my anger and frustration for a considerably long and exhausting time, but regardless of how much I try to resist it’s just cracks ever more… eventually it’ll break beneath it’s devastating weight.

Beneath its Weight: The overwhelming burden of anger and hatred within said pillar. There’s only so much weight my pillar can bear, and one day I will eventually break into a thousand stuttering pieces of hate.

Night Breaks Through the Day: The feeling of purpose I have at night, but emptiness I feel in the day. I feel as if the sunlight is slowly drenching my soul in Hell’s everlasting flames making these… emotions within me weigh even more heavily… showing that when night finally comes, it breaks me from the horrific day.

Hard as a Stone: This shows me that the night fills me with enough inspiration and will that it would be considered as hard as a stone because of that, even though the night is simply the rotating retreat from the densely lit Sun.

Lost in Thoughts: The fact that I enjoy writing. The fact that I am writing this right now. I am completely lost in thought, and wish to place said thoughts onto paper. All of the pain I feel… all of the emptiness and mystery surrounding my history and my life… it’s just so overbearing. Sometimes I wish I was simply single-minded and ignorant. Life would’ve gone way smoothly for me that way, just like it has for the rest of my family.

All Alone: I am all alone. I haven’t met a “true friend” in what seems like ages. I’ve never been in a relationship because I fear relationships. I fear the fact of being bound to someone else and making “exceptions” for some of the things they do that I completely know is wrong, and it just feels selfish in a way to me, therefore I seclude and mask a majority of my true self from the real world.
Personal Notes: But my words don’t even matter to many. What words that truly matter are “yours” in the end, after all, you are the ones to decide your very own “fate” (unless your fate intertwines with another’s). Regardless of everything I’ve said thus far, I’d still will respect you as long as you’re being true to yourself. Because if you aren’t… you’re still immature. If you want to mature, be true to yourself. Even if you may look “goofy” and or “childish” in the end, you’re being you, and that’s enough to prove that you’ve matured.
As a child she was in the dark to what was unfolding around her
it was WW2 and she knew not of the deaths at Auschwitz and Sobibor
she recalls being taken from a ghetto to a transit camp in Westerbork
a ride to nowhere I knew not
when I was just a tot
others had been caught
She was taken from an orphanage kicking & screaming bruised and cut
then shoved her in a bus to transport her to a destination small as a hut
arriving at camp, they shoved her in a gas chamber, strange twist of fate
it malfunctioned ,she was left naked in a chamber overnight, was it Faith?
thumping heart and all
she curled up from a crawl
and cried to the wall
Angels of death rejected her, she was too sterilized with innocence
burning in an oven she didn't belong, she lived to tell without pretense
unfortunately scarred for life, she survived and lost her dear parents
on her wedding day she did cope
a survivor with an anchor a rope
dressed in white she took a *****
Jews,  burned in ovens all because of Adolf ****** and his hatred for Jews
Jews, God's people honest good living Citizens who did no wrong, Jews
Jews, human beings ripped apart, God opened gate then wept, JEWS  +
left in a tumultuous state
clawing at giprock
dancing in the
paint chip rain

two years gone
slowly crawled
through concrete walls
and dim lit rooms

misplaced elation
i can recall
all the parts of the brain
and what they're called

but i can't seem to remember
the day mine malfunctioned
and ****** me
over
stability is incredibly under-appreciated by most who possess it.
Lauren Christine Jan 2016
His mind was a factory
A bustling grey and charcoal factory
With machines to create thoughts
But all so systematically
All so perfect precise concise
Not a mistake not a slip was made
The sounds of smooth clicks
And echoes under foot vibrations
All was smooth
All was purposeful
Until she asked for a tour
She asked with innocence and naivety
And he let her in tentatively
She marveled at his systemic mind  
And questioned and awed.
But no one had ever
Entered his mind like this before
And she distracted him
They heard a crash
as a machine malfunctioned
And a thought toppled and shattered
The pieces exploding like a firecracker
Against the grey charcoal floor
He panicked and tried to pick up the pieces
But echoes of a breaking mind tore at his ears
As more thoughts shattered.
He was loosing control
And all because of her
This girl was making him lose his mind
He went to a corner and tried to regain himself
Closed eyes and shaking heart
He sat and stayed,
Oblivious
Emerging he stared
Stared at the prices of his shattered mind
That she arranged
Into an intricate mosaic
And somehow in that moment
He saw a beauty in the brokenness
Something he had never seen before
Edward Coles Jun 2014
I stood on the cliffs of Cabo Girao,
I watched the village slip away,
into to the mouth of mother nature;
into the sea of salt and spray.

And in my baseball cap, I leant out,
and threw my t-shirt to the sea,
I was done with missing sunlight;
I was done with autumn leaves.

I headed out to warmer climates,
and I was cradled in the sun.
I experienced new beginnings,
in the roots of Babylon.

They whispered through ayahusaca,
as I force-fed myself the tea;
as I malfunctioned into sanity,
as new voices came to be.

We laughed on through the Amazon,
and in the emptied streets of Rome.
Earth fell upon the weight of change;
now all of the land was home.

Old pick-up trucks are left to rust,
as all memories are altered.
A cigarette will tempt our death,
in a breath so rushed and faltered.

The voices left me in the high-rise,
in the car-park that we once looked out;
we saw the limit that is the horizon,
we saw a future full of doubt.

I have travelled through the aftermath,
and found no one left at all.
At least there's peace in my delusion,
away from the ancient city sprawl.

Yet, still with all these questions,
of what was caused, under which name;
you still send them to expire,
as I linger on your gaze.

I've not seen you in a while now,
you could be dead or worse: happy.
All I want is to find Eden,
and have you descend down from the trees.
c
Hello my dear,
Where have you gone?
My heart holds fear
That you won't be back by dawn.
I've been watching out the window for you for hours,
But still, you have not returned.
In my eyes, I see showers
The sunshine turned to rain, and now I'm concerned.
Did your love for me go away?
Why did you run from me?
I remember when together we spent almost all of our days,
But now, I'm sifting through my heart's debris.
You let me go and left me alone,
And now I can't function.
All week I've stared at the phone,
You never called, I pretended it just malfunctioned.
But deep down I knew, you just didn't call.
You didn't think of me.
From my eyes, the water falls
Why is this how it has to be?
Did I misunderstand your feelings?
Did I do something wrong?
This pain isn't easy to be dealing
Especially when I thought our love was so strong.
Remember when we'd fall asleep together?
You told me you waited all day for those moments.
I thought we'd make it through any weather,
But now I'm just broken.
I remember the way you used to look at me,
You looked at me like you were so in love.
So if you loved me, why did you flee?
I thought we had a love worth bragging of.
But now I'm alone, with nothing left of you but your sweater.
I curl up with it at night, wishing it was you.
I can tell you, life has definitely been better
But without you here, what can I do?
Being with other guys makes me realize,
My heart doesn't work unless it's you.
It's you that revitalizes me,
It's you that gives me what I need to get through.
Your touch hydrates me,
Your kiss keeps me sane.
Can't you see?
Without you, I'll surely go insane.
The memories are haunting me,
There's not a moment you're not on my mind.
With you is where I should be,
But you're so hard to find.
I crave your touch, I crave your smile
I crave your lips and just you in general.
You and me, we never go out of style.
You and I, the value is sentimental.
If I could love you again, I'd do it right
So please be gentle and come back to me.
No more crazy, no more fight.
I'll be everything you need me to be.
Andrew, I love you with all of my heart
And I can only pray you still feel the same.
In my life, you play such a huge part
And you're my muse, you're my flame.
This girl loves you, and this girl needs you.
You're the one I want to spend my life with
I hope you still feel the way I do,
So if it's true, let's stop being a myth.
Come back to me my dear, you belong with me.
Your arms are where I belong.
You make me the best person I can be,
Without you, my life just feels wrong.

Hello my dear, as you can see I feel strongly about this.
Please come back to me, in one piece.
You are something I dearly miss,
And until you're returned to me, I won't be at peace.
elena Jan 2016
YOU won't understand how I feel. always being cheated of my feelings.
i was in the deepest lies i created on my own.
feelings always toyed with. because i have no mind to control it. i don't know what's wrong with me.

i only want to feel how is it like to be loved. i keep trying to tear and rip my eyes away from you. but i do not know why i'm still attracted to you. you aren't even some good looking guy. why do i like you so much? why can't i find someone of my standard?

i'm really at loss for relationship stuff. i'm so so lost. i hate you for having the power to make me like this. don't give me false hope if you're not interested in a relationship. i don't even THINK you're interested. i wished i could be honest ABOUT my feelings. but i know you won't ever like me back.

don't give me attention at ALL. please. my heart aches so so much. heart strings torn and broken, ropes wrapping my heart and neck like tree vines, restricting my thoughts and breathing. my ability to think has malfunctioned. because my heart IS back to YOU again. or to be honest, it never really left.
***** this mess i constantly create for myself. ****.
Al Mak Poetry Mar 2018
We did forget the peace…
It lays in dust, abandoned.
The drums of war don’t cease
The mind of world malfunctioned.
We have destroyed the peace,
The peace is trampled down,
The sanity is labelled “Vice”,
The hope in blood has drown.
We have betrayed the peace,
Replacing words with slogans,
Hysterics and war-cries increase,
As diplomats replaced with morons.
*
The peace is dying agonizing
Losing count of its endless sores
On hands of orphan sympathizing —
The crippled son of senseless wars.
— ☙ AlMakPoetry ❧—
I stood there on the cusp of something on the day the world was ending,
at her doorstep she was waiting, for this rag doll of a body,
but the bobcat of my mind was tightly sprung as if the clockwork had malfunctioned and it wound into the ether where infinity existed
and that day I wrote her name in stars across the milky way,
she smiled at me.

It never changed the course of things, the ship set sail across the seas and it was later that I realised the sea was me in sail across the oceans of her eyes,
her lips were signed in silver and I took the chance to kiss her but it blinded me in darkness and the stars that she had given, were so cruelly taken from me by some sailor on the port side and
she smiled.

There was time and then was nothing and the nothing filled with laughter which then rolled across the ocean and I knew the moment after she would smile,but then the thunder of the beating of my heart kept me from sleeping,
so, wide-eyed I watched the ending and it seemed like a beginning where I stood there on the cusp of something greater than the being and the being wasn't anywhere at all.
She stood there on the doorstep and the whole thing kept repeating as if the universe was cheating me of a final armageddon,
she just smiled.
Val roxas Oct 2017
I woke up every single day
Without nothing commenting on my way,
I tried so hard to go away
Envy, angry, everyday.

I always looked up; to fight my rights
But people I  know they are my benight
Who, Where are my knights?
Why they leave me in this sorrowful night?

Do I need to use a punctuation semi colon;
To continue, but I was abandoned.
I grant a pardon to them and make some action
But my action treated like malfunctioned.

They caught me; I was a real spy
But no one can testify
Do I need to terrify?
From revealing what I classified.

Let me just simplify,

Don't be so happy and complacently feeling ahead
You're just still and stilled in my toe; instead.
I hope that this piece, won't you read,
Because I don't want you maltreated.

I'm a good person you know,
I can protect you, but now we're full of foes
I don't want to be your patience with this show
Just reserve it to your woe.

My time is close enough to making amends for,
My willingness for you to pay what's my depths;you adore
I know You lived and believed from the story that you bought into the bookstore
And now, you can't be with me evermore.
Thinking of You Oct 2021
The months I felt the deepest I kept quiet.
I lay in bed and wonder if I’ll ever feel sure again.
If anyone will ever calm my waters that deeply.
Ignite me as much as he did.
How many I love you’s I didn’t say.
Even though I knew he felt it too.

It would have still ended in ruin.
Still here this October night searching for meaning.
I just wish I would have allowed myself to fully burst while it happened.
Right now I’m a malfunctioned firework.
Never truly went off to see beauty in the sky.
And yet, I am here. On the ground. Exploded.

— The End —