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JWolfeB Feb 13
As death became reality
He attempted to convince himself
That if he hit delete enough
Enough people would pay attention
That his flair of calm temperament
Was a siren of helicopters
Berating sleeping neighbors
Wanting everything to be worth more than he believed

Poetey became a suicide note
Causing him to stop writing
With the fear of his words becoming eulogy
Bleeding paper with cut nerve endings
Fist indented desk topping
Proving a impending bad written letter
To people that may never read

Historians have probable cause
To explain what went wrong here
Until then
This man sits in glass bottles and retained thoughts
Smiling broken happiness
Through exhausted muscles
Knowing today won't be enough
JWolfeB Nov 2018
I would be lying if I told you death wasn't an option
We can choose it everyday
And most days i argue
On what the best course of action might be
Between Berlin walls and burlesque dreams
My heart has decided it's mind
Into suicide flower arrangements
Multiplying in hope that one of them might be better
Becoming a stem grown mistake
Leaf to sky
Praying to the god we call heaven
And the clouds we call hope
Make me pretty
Show the world my worth
Allow the tender fabric surrounding my inners to bring joy
Break my roots in a wish that maybe the ground can remind me from where i once came
That this earth returns us to form
Not the other way around
Eradicate the suffering so commonly accepted as the present
JWolfeB Jul 2018
Another sway implies my natural maliability
Bring me the seasons in whatever form
Allow them to graze the forest in my fingertips
Gliding me in all directions
Always returning home
Roots galloping in the storm
Nurturing nature as it was meant to be
Frosted ice may find my shivers relaxed
I will not say no to this
Or any other thing for that matter
For i am a tree and cannot speak
And I do not believe you would listen
If I could
JWolfeB Jun 2018
I have decided to give up eating shotguns
Instead i have allowed myself to consume glass land mines
Now I realize this is not a positive thing
But at least one is socially acceptable

Defining depression and alcoholism can be difficult

One is told to **** it up and get better
Everyone knows life can't be that hard
Please don't share your issues here and now I am too busy
Continue chewing on shotgun shells
Convincing yourself things are improving
Shot shot shot
A conscious barrel bottle battle

One is swallowed in crowds of too many happy people
Everyone knows life is better after a drink
Please display your guts all over the bar floor
We know you'll forget by tomorrow
Continue tipping your chin to empty prayer halls
Convincing yourself things are improving
Shot shot shot
A conscious disillusion of distraction
JWolfeB May 2018
Things that I am finally going to probably end up telling myself one day:

#1 you don't need permission to be happy

#2 read number 1 once more

#3 heart break is much less than suicide

#4 glass can take millions of years to decompose, so stop insisting for grabbing  another. So many busted ***** fingers have already bridged that gap. No need to lose another stupid boy to drowning

#5 family can sometimes only be defined by genetics. Not saying I don't love my family, it's just some days it's hard to tell

#6 when you grow up, jon, be a man

#7 still have no idea how the last one works

#8 show up

#9 still searching for something to reach for. The sun has been too **** hot and I think I need a drink
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