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grace Jun 2019
breakneck speed
a hummingbird
heart beats
war drums

rolling snare
wings spent
lay and recover
heavy like sand

steady drums
breathing deeply
focus on now
broke, tired

a song on repeat
my instinct
I fly away
grace Dec 2018
a song plays
it taps my shoulder
with it's slow sadness
my spine curls like old wallpaper
in a house I knew

with eyes closed
it rings like a phone
like hearing your own name
I answer the call
memories flood

and it smells like dust
like a photo album
you only recognize
and do not remember

the books you hold
your mother's voice
as you tun the worn pages
like she's still reading to you

it feels like
sidewalk chalk
and walking home

the word is a hot stove
I try not to touch anymore
it just burns

I never learn
I open the door
evoking melancholy
just to see blurry faces
to hear my younger self
laugh about things
like funny faces
and late bedtimes

the smoke alarms ring out
the song ends
but the burn lingers
and stings throughout the day

I'm sitting on wet tile
water dripping from my hair
in darkness
under warm water

the pressure beats my skin
like the rain
it echoes in my hollow head
like drums do
and my mind is numb

like a house we moved out of
like a home I never understood

like a stove left on
burning it down
every time I listen to that song
grace Apr 2017
I've written the word "you" countless times
to represent countless people
on countless pages
as I've aged I've become unable to place
exactly which "you"
belonged to who
was easier to write down
than the names of the subjects
I knew I shouldn't be proud of

they all blur together
the faces
the letters
the shame I ignored
the love that I forced
the chapters in my life
I was too ashamed to identify
but one thing is clear
through all the past-poetry-opaqueness:

I know I'll never struggle to place
the word for the sound of rain
the laugh that sounds like a hearth
the effortless extemporization
the sound of your beating heart


even the four letters of your own name
could never do justice
to the beauty of your being
that no word can capture
no dialect, no vernacular
you are more complex
than language
than pen on paper
and that is why I love writing about you
I know I'll never get it right
but *******
do I want to try.
Dedicated to June, the love of my life, the only person who I've ever been proud to be loved by. I would learn every language if that meant I could properly describe you.
grace Sep 2016
I long to touch you
To feel your arms wrap around me
Like a blanket on a car ride home
Breathing in a familiar scent
A comforting scent
Breathing in my home
My legs wrapping around yours
Hearing the rain on the window like splatter paint
Smelling ash and wood and moss
Your strong arms wrapped around my waist
Tracing the curve of my side with your finger
Like underlining your favorite line in a book you've read ten times
I don't want to fall asleep and miss it
I want you
grace Feb 2016
I am seeping in scalding water
like a tea bag leaking bitter dark red
leaking my consciousness
through the hole in my chest
when left alone to seep
reality pushes itself out of my mind
through every pore in my body
my grasp of what is real slips away
leaving behind trails of color
wisps of crimson and regret
but beautiful in a quiet way
a girl sitting at the bottom of a tea cup
hugging her skinned knees
leaking the darkest color
you've ever seen
I am seeping in scalding water
but at least I can feel it
burning me alive

I bet it all looks so peaceful when looking at it from above
grace Feb 2016
I would draw
but my hands shake
I would speak
but my throat is sore
I would get up
but then I’d have to let go
of the comfort of my room
the only think I can do
is write
and so I write
about anything
about everything
about washing machines
and my spin cycle mind
empty bottles that look full
and the disappointment they cause
puppets forcably dancing on strings
and how I’m not the one moving myself
about flowers picked and left to die
and the temporary, forgettable beauty
I would speak
but I can’t find the right words
I would

but I can't
grace Nov 2015
I met you
I love you
I'm ******
I haven't had enough
I'm ******
I'll never grow tired of you
I'm ******
I'll never leave
unless you want me to
I'm ******
I love you
I'm ******
you love me right back,
I'm ******
I think of a future with you
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