Sep 2016
Embrace the Dark: Meaning to accept the dark emotions that have surfaced from within me.
You Call a Home: Meaning the source of my darkness is from my very own homestead. Even though I know it’s full of darkness, I still remain within it… which means it’s possible that I’m unknowingly embracing it.
Gaze Upon an Empty White Throne: Meaning the absence of my Father which would be considered a white throne due to the fact of the mystery surrounding his sudden disappearance, however my Mother has already claimed the black throne due to her sheer ruthless, terrorizing, abusive, arrogant, dark and sinister personality complex.
A Legacy of Lies: I know nothing of my past. No family tree or anything, just… blank. Almost as if all of my ancestors were erased from existence. Also the fact of not knowing what truly happened to my Father, and the constant fear that my life has just been a mountain of lies and deceit is a legacy of fear I feel almost every day.
A Familiar Disguise: Me sealing away who I truly am inside to please the people around me. It’s a familiar disguise because it is used constantly and in a variety of different ways depending on the person being spoken to from my point of view. Also me trying to hide from the past I’ve forged into my family’s legacy forever…
Sing With Me a Song: Me pleading the people around me to sing along to the deceit I announce. Begging them to sing with me the song of despair and malfunctioned personal identity… who am I anymore anyway?
Of Conquest and Fate: Me forging a conquest to eliminate all opposing opposition within the workforce to make sure I arrive on top… even though my morality simply won’t allow that to happen… it’s a tragic yet fair-hearted fate I’ve created for myself.
The Black Pillar Cracks: Me feeling the dark impulse about to crack through my sealing black pillar. The fact that I’ve been trying to hold back my anger and frustration for a considerably long and exhausting time, but regardless of how much I try to resist it’s just cracks ever more… eventually it’ll break beneath it’s devastating weight.
Beneath its Weight: The overwhelming burden of anger and hatred within said pillar. There’s only so much weight my pillar can bear, and one day I will eventually break into a thousand stuttering pieces of hate.
Night Breaks Through the Day: The feeling of purpose I have at night, but emptiness I feel in the day. I feel as if the sunlight is slowly drenching my soul in Hell’s everlasting flames making these… emotions within me weigh even more heavily… showing that when night finally comes, it breaks me from the horrific day.
Hard as a Stone: This shows me that the night fills me with enough inspiration and will that it would be considered as hard as a stone because of that, even though the night is simply the rotating retreat from the densely lit Sun.
Lost in Thoughts: The fact that I enjoy writing. The fact that I am writing this right now. I am completely lost in thought, and wish to place said thoughts onto paper. All of the pain I feel… all of the emptiness and mystery surrounding my history and my life… it’s just so overbearing. Sometimes I wish I was simply single-minded and ignorant. Life would’ve gone way smoothly for me that way, just like it has for the rest of my family.
All Alone: I am all alone. I haven’t met a “true friend” in what seems like ages. I’ve never been in a relationship because I fear relationships. I fear the fact of being bound to someone else and making “exceptions” for some of the things they do that I completely know is wrong, and it just feels selfish in a way to me, therefore I seclude and mask a majority of my true self from the real world.
You Call a Home: Meaning the source of my darkness is from my very own homestead. Even though I know it’s full of darkness, I still remain within it… which means it’s possible that I’m unknowingly embracing it.
Gaze Upon an Empty White Throne: Meaning the absence of my Father which would be considered a white throne due to the fact of the mystery surrounding his sudden disappearance, however my Mother has already claimed the black throne due to her sheer ruthless, terrorizing, abusive, arrogant, dark and sinister personality complex.
A Legacy of Lies: I know nothing of my past. No family tree or anything, just… blank. Almost as if all of my ancestors were erased from existence. Also the fact of not knowing what truly happened to my Father, and the constant fear that my life has just been a mountain of lies and deceit is a legacy of fear I feel almost every day.
A Familiar Disguise: Me sealing away who I truly am inside to please the people around me. It’s a familiar disguise because it is used constantly and in a variety of different ways depending on the person being spoken to from my point of view. Also me trying to hide from the past I’ve forged into my family’s legacy forever…
Sing With Me a Song: Me pleading the people around me to sing along to the deceit I announce. Begging them to sing with me the song of despair and malfunctioned personal identity… who am I anymore anyway?
Of Conquest and Fate: Me forging a conquest to eliminate all opposing opposition within the workforce to make sure I arrive on top… even though my morality simply won’t allow that to happen… it’s a tragic yet fair-hearted fate I’ve created for myself.
The Black Pillar Cracks: Me feeling the dark impulse about to crack through my sealing black pillar. The fact that I’ve been trying to hold back my anger and frustration for a considerably long and exhausting time, but regardless of how much I try to resist it’s just cracks ever more… eventually it’ll break beneath it’s devastating weight.
Beneath its Weight: The overwhelming burden of anger and hatred within said pillar. There’s only so much weight my pillar can bear, and one day I will eventually break into a thousand stuttering pieces of hate.
Night Breaks Through the Day: The feeling of purpose I have at night, but emptiness I feel in the day. I feel as if the sunlight is slowly drenching my soul in Hell’s everlasting flames making these… emotions within me weigh even more heavily… showing that when night finally comes, it breaks me from the horrific day.
Hard as a Stone: This shows me that the night fills me with enough inspiration and will that it would be considered as hard as a stone because of that, even though the night is simply the rotating retreat from the densely lit Sun.
Lost in Thoughts: The fact that I enjoy writing. The fact that I am writing this right now. I am completely lost in thought, and wish to place said thoughts onto paper. All of the pain I feel… all of the emptiness and mystery surrounding my history and my life… it’s just so overbearing. Sometimes I wish I was simply single-minded and ignorant. Life would’ve gone way smoothly for me that way, just like it has for the rest of my family.
All Alone: I am all alone. I haven’t met a “true friend” in what seems like ages. I’ve never been in a relationship because I fear relationships. I fear the fact of being bound to someone else and making “exceptions” for some of the things they do that I completely know is wrong, and it just feels selfish in a way to me, therefore I seclude and mask a majority of my true self from the real world.
Personal Notes: But my words don’t even matter to many. What words that truly matter are “yours” in the end, after all, you are the ones to decide your very own “fate” (unless your fate intertwines with another’s). Regardless of everything I’ve said thus far, I’d still will respect you as long as you’re being true to yourself. Because if you aren’t… you’re still immature. If you want to mature, be true to yourself. Even if you may look “goofy” and or “childish” in the end, you’re being you, and that’s enough to prove that you’ve matured.
