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Q Jan 2016
The ennui leads me to shirk humanity
I'd like to see the world burn, entertain me
Who can I manipulate, pull the strings of puppetry
Count these dots on the ceiling for another eternity.

The ennui's whisper is a striking sledgehammer
"Nothing's wrong and nothing's right," to my saccharine master
A distraction is a religion, a light, a pastor
Find a building, burn it down, if only for laughter.

The ennui's madness, says it can't exist with life
Push me up onto this cliff, close my hand around a knife
Scream fury, bitter anger, over the sound of this strife
And when the rage is exhausted, with ennui I am rife.

The ennui leads me to think of impossible things
I could have an ultimate power that exceeds all living beings
The ennui leads me to write, and sing, and sleep, and think
And not a one of those will shake it, it resides so deep in me.

The ennui is disenchantment, apathy, and callousness.
The ennui is because I could's, both boiled and steeped in it.
The ennui is I don't care to a level never before seen.
The ennui is why bother with this without the will to leave.
Lyn Senz 2 Sep 2017
believe in ants
believe in trees
believe in plants
that please the bees
believe in chants
that ease disease
believe in rants
that seize the seas
believe in stance
that breed decrees
believe in pants
pulled past your knees
some aberrants
all kinds deceive
believe beliefs
in grief relieve
beliefs I see askance
ennui ennui
ennui


©2017 Lyn
BB Tyler Sep 2010
my grandfather told me
that i was full of ennui

he said that he could see it in my poems.
he could see it spreading
like moss
from the space between the sentences and the
ends of them

he said that it slid from my ears
like life
from another man,
hung up on some perpendicular problem

he said it was present in my eyes.
like the sky,
what once was blue
is now  gray

he felt it in my sleeve,
reaching out to meet his hand
and grip it,
without enthusiasm

he told me that it was familiar.
that its face had worn him,
this ennui

Am I it,
or is it I?

"You are full of Ennui,"
my grandfather said to me

"no"
i told him
"everyone else is."

He laughed,
without enthusiasm.
Copyright: Bennett Tyler
Matt Pentz Oct 2013
Ennui.
June 3, 2012 at 1:48am
Worthless,
Me,
My life.

Nothing but garbage,
Nothing but wreckage,
Nothing but worthless rage,
On a world where atrocities are common,

I’m nothing in life,
No good to my kids,
No good to my someday to be wife,
Nothing but a waste,

A waste of space,
A waste of face,
Just wreckage in this world,
Doing no good for anyone.

I’ve never done right,
Never done good,
My life is darkest night,
Just a blight,
A scar upon wood,

I can’t do anyting well
I can’t do anything right,
I can do no good.
My life is a broken shell,
Any goodness,  swallowed by the night.

No good for me,
No good for anyone,
I might as well give in to the ennui,
Might as well caress my knife,
Or swallow a bullet from my gun.

I can’t do anything well,
I can’t do anything right,
My life is a broken shell,
Any Joy,
Swallowed by blight.

Because I love the night,
Night is when the stars,
The stars shine bright,
And share their godly light,
Yet my life,
Still seems swallowed by blight.


Worthless I am,
And shall always be,
Life is a sham,
And I’m drowning,
In Ennui.
K Balachandran Jun 2012
Deem ennui, the most stinking gift
humankind is left with;
every stroke she countered,
loudly snored, when ****** was hit.
Yitkbel Sep 2019
I see pain and discomfort shunned
From all beings breathing far from the sun
Yet, I’ve questioned if it was all right
Even though the sages have aged
The wise still rains truth
From storms of dust and pebbles
From lives full of peace and suffering
Having tasted it all to know that
   If you drink the honey first
   All else pales in comparison
   And the bitter ever more unbearable
   And if you bear the bitter before the sweet
   All the more pleasant the world will be

   You’ll never miss the near, but ever the far faraway
   Long for the berries and peaches that only visited
   Once a year
   Long for the meals that saved you from constant hunger
   Though only if you have starved and felt the ennui of
   Easy fulfillment till gluttony

And then, I have met
A different kind of suffering, like a spectre
Looming above the land of the cloudless
Looming above us, the youth of peace
Where all labor towards momentary fulfillment
Way too brief compared to the prospect
Of an eternity as ash and dust
Life of unbearable levity
In a world that has lost its true gravity
In a world where nothing lasts more than a
Few wrathful moments

Even with faith for the faithful
Who wants to live half of their life
Dancing with death
Only to live each day afterwards
As another life gained

At the same time
Who wants to live all their time
Chasing a dream ever in the distant
Only to one day wake up from the mirage
Pondering the purpose of the distance
Walked

Alas,
I can only wish that
When you close your eyes
You may not despair in the brief
Darkness
But rejoice in the ensuing wonder of
An eternal dream
So brilliant near the
Sun

There, things last
Not pain, in a land
Impossible to lose
But, unfathomable peace
Without ennui.
September 27, 2019 14:16
By: Yue Xing Yitkbel ****
harlon rivers Nov 2017

in the quiet of stillness
I can hear a snowflake
gently land
upon my cheek
a flurry of gossamer
frozen lace lilts ~
peacefully
transforming
the ennui
of chilling silence
into a wilderness symphony



thank you to all
for stopping by to read
"The sound of a snowflake"

written by:  h.a. rivers ... 11/13/2017
AngelAutumn4 Oct 2018
On life,
On death,
On me,
Ennui.

To move from dream to dream,
To think and recollect,
To drift within the stream,
Of life and then to jest.

How everything is clear,
How everything is grand,
How the world is sincere,
That never still it stands.

To curse the state of time,
And watch it slip away,
Perceived by the mind,
Ennui, just the same.

On we to our dreams,
Of platinum-plated wants,
Wether small or larger things,
Ennui, to the lot.
Brandon Oct 2011
The demons are bleeding from the walls
  Pouring thick like screeching molasses
   Grabbing me by my eye sockets
    With twelve inch ripping talons
     Pulling and tearing my flesh taut
      Like some morose antagonism of obesity
       Dragging me thru the hardwood floorboards
        Thru a river flowing with moaning, groaning souls
         Cast into a stygian darkness that blinds the eyes


          The magnitude of grotesque revulsion
         That unveils itself before me
        In monstrous catastrophe
       Ignites my dejected soul
      To wisps of smoke and smoldering ashes
     Set to a contour of unremitting denunciation
    Scorching pits of fire, brimstone, and sulfur
   The suffocated withering of my intentions


  The agony of ennui
And the simplicity of sin
I.

Hélas ! que j'en ai vu mourir de jeunes filles !
C'est le destin. Il faut une proie au trépas.
Il faut que l'herbe tombe au tranchant des faucilles ;
Il faut que dans le bal les folâtres quadrilles
Foulent des roses sous leurs pas.

Il faut que l'eau s'épuise à courir les vallées ;
Il faut que l'éclair brille, et brille peu d'instants,
Il faut qu'avril jaloux brûle de ses gelées
Le beau pommier, trop fier de ses fleurs étoilées,
Neige odorante du printemps.

Oui, c'est la vie. Après le jour, la nuit livide.
Après tout, le réveil, infernal ou divin.
Autour du grand banquet siège une foule avide ;
Mais bien des conviés laissent leur place vide.
Et se lèvent avant la fin.

II.

Que j'en ai vu mourir ! - L'une était rose et blanche ;
L'autre semblait ouïr de célestes accords ;
L'autre, faible, appuyait d'un bras son front qui penche,
Et, comme en s'envolant l'oiseau courbe la branche,
Son âme avait brisé son corps.

Une, pâle, égarée, en proie au noir délire,
Disait tout bas un nom dont nul ne se souvient ;
Une s'évanouit, comme un chant sur la lyre ;
Une autre en expirant avait le doux sourire
D'un jeune ange qui s'en revient.

Toutes fragiles fleurs, sitôt mortes que nées !
Alcyions engloutis avec leurs nids flottants !
Colombes, que le ciel au monde avait données !
Qui, de grâce, et d'enfance, et d'amour couronnées,
Comptaient leurs ans par les printemps !

Quoi, mortes ! quoi, déjà, sous la pierre couchées !
Quoi ! tant d'êtres charmants sans regard et sans voix !
Tant de flambeaux éteints ! tant de fleurs arrachées !...
Oh ! laissez-moi fouler les feuilles desséchées,
Et m'égarer au fond des bois !

Deux fantômes ! c'est là, quand je rêve dans l'ombre,
Qu'ils viennent tour à tour m'entendre et me parler.
Un jour douteux me montre et me cache leur nombre.
A travers les rameaux et le feuillage sombre
Je vois leurs yeux étinceler.

Mon âme est une sœur pour ces ombres si belles.
La vie et le tombeau pour nous n'ont plus de loi.
Tantôt j'aide leurs pas, tantôt je prends leurs ailes.
Vision ineffable où je suis mort comme elles,
Elles, vivantes comme moi !

Elles prêtent leur forme à toutes mes pensées.
Je les vois ! je les vois ! Elles me disent : Viens !
Puis autour d'un tombeau dansent entrelacées ;
Puis s'en vont lentement, par degrés éclipsées.
Alors je songe et me souviens...

III.

Une surtout. - Un ange, une jeune espagnole !
Blanches mains, sein gonflé de soupirs innocents,
Un œil noir, où luisaient des regards de créole,
Et ce charme inconnu, cette fraîche auréole
Qui couronne un front de quinze ans !

Non, ce n'est point d'amour qu'elle est morte : pour elle,
L'amour n'avait encor ni plaisirs ni combats ;
Rien ne faisait encor battre son cœur rebelle ;
Quand tous en la voyant s'écriaient : Qu'elle est belle !
Nul ne le lui disait tout bas.

Elle aimait trop le bal, c'est ce qui l'a tuée.
Le bal éblouissant ! le bal délicieux !
Sa cendre encor frémit, doucement remuée,
Quand, dans la nuit sereine, une blanche nuée
Danse autour du croissant des cieux.

Elle aimait trop le bal. - Quand venait une fête,
Elle y pensait trois jours, trois nuits elle en rêvait,
Et femmes, musiciens, danseurs que rien n'arrête,
Venaient, dans son sommeil, troublant sa jeune tête,
Rire et bruire à son chevet.

Puis c'étaient des bijoux, des colliers, des merveilles !
Des ceintures de moire aux ondoyants reflets ;
Des tissus plus légers que des ailes d'abeilles ;
Des festons, des rubans, à remplir des corbeilles ;
Des fleurs, à payer un palais !

La fête commencée, avec ses sœurs rieuses
Elle accourait, froissant l'éventail sous ses doigts,
Puis s'asseyait parmi les écharpes soyeuses,
Et son cœur éclatait en fanfares joyeuses,
Avec l'orchestre aux mille voix.

C'était plaisir de voir danser la jeune fille !
Sa basquine agitait ses paillettes d'azur ;
Ses grands yeux noirs brillaient sous la noire mantille.
Telle une double étoile au front des nuits scintille
Sous les plis d'un nuage obscur.

Tout en elle était danse, et rire, et folle joie.
Enfant ! - Nous l'admirions dans nos tristes loisirs ;
Car ce n'est point au bal que le cœur se déploie,
La centre y vole autour des tuniques de soie,
L'ennui sombre autour des plaisirs.

Mais elle, par la valse ou la ronde emportée,
Volait, et revenait, et ne respirait pas,
Et s'enivrait des sons de la flûte vantée,
Des fleurs, des lustres d'or, de la fête enchantée,
Du bruit des vois, du bruit des pas.

Quel bonheur de bondir, éperdue, en la foule,
De sentir par le bal ses sens multipliés,
Et de ne pas savoir si dans la nue on roule,
Si l'on chasse en fuyant la terre, ou si l'on foule
Un flot tournoyant sous ses pieds !

Mais hélas ! il fallait, quand l'aube était venue,
Partir, attendre au seuil le manteau de satin.
C'est alors que souvent la danseuse ingénue
Sentit en frissonnant sur son épaule nue
Glisser le souffle du matin.

Quels tristes lendemains laisse le bal folâtre !
Adieu parure, et danse, et rires enfantins !
Aux chansons succédait la toux opiniâtre,
Au plaisir rose et frais la fièvre au teint bleuâtre,
Aux yeux brillants les yeux éteints.

IV.

Elle est morte. - A quinze ans, belle, heureuse, adorée !
Morte au sortir d'un bal qui nous mit tous en deuil.
Morte, hélas ! et des bras d'une mère égarée
La mort aux froides mains la prit toute parée,
Pour l'endormir dans le cercueil.

Pour danser d'autres bals elle était encor prête,
Tant la mort fut pressée à prendre un corps si beau !
Et ces roses d'un jour qui couronnaient sa tête,
Qui s'épanouissaient la veille en une fête,
Se fanèrent dans un tombeau.

V.

Sa pauvre mère ! - hélas ! de son sort ignorante,
Avoir mis tant d'amour sur ce frêle roseau,
Et si longtemps veillé son enfance souffrante,
Et passé tant de nuits à l'endormir pleurante
Toute petite en son berceau !

A quoi bon ? - Maintenant la jeune trépassée,
Sous le plomb du cercueil, livide, en proie au ver,
Dort ; et si, dans la tombe où nous l'avons laissée,
Quelque fête des morts la réveille glacée,
Par une belle nuit d'hiver,

Un spectre au rire affreux à sa morne toilette
Préside au lieu de mère, et lui dit : Il est temps !
Et, glaçant d'un baiser sa lèvre violette,
Passe les doigts noueux de sa main de squelette
Sous ses cheveux longs et flottants.

Puis, tremblante, il la mène à la danse fatale,
Au chœur aérien dans l'ombre voltigeant ;
Et sur l'horizon gris la lune est large et pâle,
Et l'arc-en-ciel des nuits teint d'un reflet d'opale
Le nuage aux franges d'argent.

VI.

Vous toutes qu'à ses jeux le bal riant convie,
Pensez à l'espagnole éteinte sans retour,
Jeunes filles ! Joyeuse, et d'une main ravie,
Elle allait moissonnant les roses de la vie,
Beauté, plaisir, jeunesse, amour !

La pauvre enfant, de fête en fête promenée,
De ce bouquet charmant arrangeait les couleurs ;
Mais qu'elle a passé vite, hélas ! l'infortunée !
Ainsi qu'Ophélia par le fleuve entraînée,
Elle est morte en cueillant des fleurs !

Avril 1828.
Third Eye Candy Jul 2013
And Ennui Go...
our curmudgeon's malaise is strapped to an anvil cloud of distinct mist. He trundles through the eye of a needle in his Eye. He blinks when God says " Nothing ". And the choir in his soul is late for rehearsal every minute of the daze. our curmudgeon's malaise is strapped to an anvil cloud if distinct mist. He trundles through the eye of a needle in his Eye. He blinks when God says " Nothing ". And the choir in his soul is late for rehearsal every minute of the daze.
Laura Aug 2013
My days are engulfed by ennui
that I cannot eradicate.
As though I were buried alive
and the undertakings of my
past,
my vices
my sins
my failures
enervate me.
Smother me. Weigh down on
me
like so much dirt.
Daisy Hemlock Jul 2018
"I just spasmed
As my life force left me.
At a rate of 2.3 pictometers per femtosecond."

"I hide behind the tears
Of a pretentious *****
Who laments himself at
Every
Available
Opportunity"

"Your premise assumes
That writing poetry
Would mitigate my boredom."

"Doing things you do not enjoy
Will serve no purpose
Other than remind you of how bored you are."

"I feel my life force
Being ****** out of me
Minute
By
Minute"

"Each minute that I endure
The mind-boggling ennui
Is another brain cell
That commits suicide
In order
To save
Its self."

"I may have to resort to poetry soon."
These are his words, not mine.
Eleanor Rigby May 2015
You smelled of life
And hope and a future ahead.
I smelled of ennui instead.

You took me to your bed
And ****** with my head.


F.Z.**N
Perig3e Feb 2011
If ennui were pie,
we had a good slice of it
in the wee dark
waiting for the last
homing pigeons to arrive
with the latest PR from Jupiter
and how it's the planetary Hoover,
except on occasions
it misses a flot,
and a helluva lot of dinosaurs are vaporized.
All rights reserved by the author
Dans l'interminable
Ennui de la plaine
La neige incertaine
Luit comme du sable.

Le ciel est de cuivre
Sans lueur aucune.
On croirait voir vivre
Et mourir la lune.

Comme les nuées
Flottent gris les chênes
Des forêts prochaines
Parmi les buées.

Le ciel est de cuivre
Sans lueur aucune.
On croirait voir vivre
Et mourir la Lune.

Corneille poussive
Et vous, les loups maigres,
Par ces bises aigres
Quoi donc vous arrive ?

Dans l'interminable
Ennui de la plaine
La neige incertaine
Luit comme du sable.
Juhi Aug 2019
something chasing after me, saltine
biscuits trailing my feet, salty tears soaking
them through their flaky meat, lotus dreams and
finite weeks, never running away from time, instead
waiting for it to catch up to our heels and
leave crumbs behind

time was sluggish and easy when I took it into my arms,
pliant when I bent it around my arms, hula hooping
lifting me to the tips of my feet, time knew me
better than the parents I’ll never meet,
dusty paths and soles of feet pattering on
sizzling concrete

time tells me that I should have been a runaway
ennui says I’m ***** souled and
listless and too far away
sugar in gas tanks and fingers plugged in ears kind of thing
chasing cheap thrills to kingdom come
until the moon is a gleam of white and
mixes and melds with the lines of
empty candle wicks

pop bottles popping off, night breezes, a kiss under palm trees
(ennui uplifted momentarily)
southern Arizona and cool synths, runaway dream
onomatopoeia making a home in our daydreams
furtive eyes seeking to find God, but
reality crashing down around me
Listlessness enshrouds me.
Nothing enraptures me.
Boredom prevails.
Still summer nights lead to a lassitude
so entombed, even retiring to bed is exhaustion.
Too much time on my hands
holds me in a torpor.
Indolent indifference infects me,
and all that I touch.
I'd like to find excitement but even that
is too much hard work.
I sit by the river, watch it sluggishly move,
dip my toe, then my feet, soon I'm almost submerged.
Ophelia like I dance on the drifting water.
Wearily I watch the shore disappear,
under a moon that is now my chandelier.
And an ennui now lost, to a drowning reverie.
© JLB
11/07/2014
Vale Luna May 2021
Time slithers away
Fed to the infinite void
that is the past
It slinks slowly into the present.
Why do blood and roses
share the same color?
A crimson droplet
A crimson petal
Both fragments of life
One salter that the other

Throw me in a cage
And watch me bite at my tail;
A ravenous dog
ruined by the boredom of captivity
Tick tock
Another droplet
Another sliver of life
It falls into the puddle
Back into the void.
Self harm triggered by boredom.
Tom Leveille Jan 2014
your face went on every
milk carton in my dreams
when you went missing
& i listened to a song
about how the churches
in your hometown
were built from the martyred mahogany
of shipwrecks
i dare you
to think i can't rip
the very mood
from your temperate fingertips
when i am cold
and hell bent
on seeing you oceans away, wince
this is not an
"i saw this coming all along" poem
or a "i still wonder about the moments between breaths when your phone lights up" poem..
this is a will & a way
with brass knuckles
maybe a barehanded bludgeon
but i swear i'm trying
to sleep at night
without wondering how cold
it is in your bed.
so mother goose
tell me about
the whispered prayers
crammed into the earthquakes
you call hands
about an ennui
that speaks to me.
jonchius Sep 2015
reloading old identity
cleping outdated usernames
abandoning acrostic ambitions
disputing spratly islands
receiving horizontal signals

tumbling otiose panda
impending carefree senility
otiose stage of life
shrinking ambient world
burning confederate flag

making minimal effort
duchamping social networks
ambushing personified ennui
restoring usual efforts
ignoring stupid people

adding textual value
owning this joint
rejecting ignorant extroverts
acting mutually unintelligble
hoisting stan-lee cup
replacing wanton ubiety
eluding twitter fame

splashing excessive relativism
offending another simpleton
preparing arcane cthulhusphere
crashing unpredictable festival
selecting subtextual moombahton
intensifying model topography

drafting minimal cornucopia
using nomadic project
implementing harsher personality
importing robotic inhumanity
referencing landmark event
ingesting excessive liquids

accepting relative invisibility
purchasing immortal confidence
using rhapsodical database
assuming nothing works
developing impactful eruptions
ejecting ambient frustration

synthesizing tactile festival
raining during parade
mocking rich people
mastering minimalist writing
avoiding preprandial stinkaroo
spreading non-ideological propaganda
the fourth week of June 2015
Jennifer Weiss Nov 2016
I can stare blankly.
I have mastered the art.
Feelings evade me,
I swept them into the dark.
Now I persuade me,
Run away from your heart.
Keep running long into the morning.
Never saying goodbye before you depart.
Run away but not too lively.
Remember, you must keep up with your art.
Impressions from Surface to Spirit.
L'ennui de vivre avec les gens et dans les choses

Font souvent ma parole et mon regard moroses.


Mais d'avoir conscience et souci dans tel cas

Exhausse ma tristesse, ennoblit mon tracas.


Alors mon discours chante et mes yeux de sourire

Où la divine certitude s'en vient luire.


Et la divine patience met son sel

Dans mon long bon conseil d'usage universel.


Car non pas tout à fait par effet de l'âge

A mes heures je suis une façon de sage,


Presque un sage sans trop d'emphase ou d'embarras.

Répandant quelque bien et faisant des ingrats.


Or néanmoins la vie et son morne problème

Rendent parfois ma voix maussade et mon front blême.


De ces tentations je me sauve à nouveau

En des moralités juste à mon seul niveau ;


Et c'est d'un examen méthodique et sévère,

Dieu qui sondez les reins ! que je me considère.


Scrutant mes moindres torts et jusques aux derniers,

Tel un juge interroge à fond des prisonniers.


Je poursuis à ce point l'humeur de mon scrupule,

Que de gens ont parlé qui m'ont dit ridicule.


N'importe ! en ces moments est-ce d'humilité ?

Je me semble béni de quelque charité,


De quelque loyauté, pour parler en pauvre homme.

De quelque encore charité. - Folie en somme !


Nous ne sommes rien. Dieu c'est tout. Dieu nous créa,

Dieu nous sauve. Voilà ! Voici mon aléa :


Prier obstinément. Plonger dans la prière,

C'est se tremper aux flots d'une bonne rivière


C'est faire de son être un parfait instrument

Pour combattre le mal et courber l'élément.


Prier intensément. Rester dans la prière

C'est s'armer pour l'élan et s'assurer derrière.


C'est de paraître doux et ferme pour autrui

Conformément à ce qu'on se rend envers lui.


La prière nous sauve après nous faire vivre,

Elle est le gage sûr et le mot qui délivre


Elle est l'ange et la dame, elle est la grande sœur

Pleine d'amour sévère et de forte douceur.


La prière a des pieds légers comme des ailes ;

Et des ailes pour que ses pieds volent comme elles ;


La prière est sagace ; elle pense, elle voit,

Scrute, interroge, doute, examine, enfin croit.


Elle ne peut nier, étant par excellence

La crainte salutaire et l'effort en silence.


Elle est universelle et sanglante ou sourit,

Vole avec le génie et court avec l'esprit.


Elle est ésotérique ou bégaie, enfantine

Sa langue est indifféremment grecque ou latine,


Ou vulgaire, ou patoise, argotique s'il faut !

Car souvent plus elle est bas, mieux elle vaut.


Je me dis tout cela, je voudrais bien le faire,

Seigneur, donnez-moi de m'élever de terre


En l'humble vœu que seul peut former un enfant

Vers votre volonté d'après comme d'avant.


Telle action quelconque en tel temps de ma vie

Et que cette action quelconque soit suivie


D'un abandon complet en vous que formulât

Le plus simple et le plus ponctuel postulat,


Juste pour la nécessité quotidienne

En attendant, toujours sans fin, ma mort chrétienne.
Cliff Green Nov 2017
A large and ponderous, flightless bird
Was what I pictured of ‘ennui’
When first I read that warning word

In retrospect it’s less absurd
That self - created lethargy
Is like a ponderous, flightless bird

Boredom’s not a dream deferred                                
It is a state that you must flee
Be thankful for that warning word

One mustn’t let repose begird
Your ***** life, or else you’ll be
Much like a  ponderous, flightless bird

Get out, and farther, from the herd
And risk the dangers to be free
Go boldly and defy that word    

The choice is yours, you’ve no doubt heard
Part warning, yet therein a plea
To banish ponderous, flightless birds
Let action be  your favorite word
Michael Humbert Apr 2015
He's left everybody
She grimaced, "...And me?"
He nodded, "mais oui."
She asked why. *"Ennui."
Don Bouchard Feb 2019
It's June, 1967.
Nature, still lying through
Parsley green teeth,
Breathes the last of spring,
Hints early summer warmth,
Pre-July's cicada whine,
August's heat and wind.

Crops, still tender green
Quiver beneath a humid sky,
Under a glowing sun.

Bicycles amuse our early lust
To soar untraveled ground,
Entering lazy summer's ennui,
We scan a hawk riding drafts
On the edge of our hill.

Dust, drifting up the graveled road,
Five miles below us,
Piques our interest,
Causes the dog to raise his head.
He ***** an ear
Toward a sound we cannot hear.

We hear gravel slapping rocker panels
Before the traveler's roof rises into view,
Catch our breath as the engine slows,
Start running for the house.

A stranger's arrived,
A traveling salesman,
Better than an aunt
Only stopping in for tea
And woman talk.

Dad keeps his welding helmet down,
Repairing broken things.
The hired man inhales his cigarette,
Acts disinterested.

My memories linger on the past....

Salesmen brought the latest farming gadgets:
Additives for fuel and oil,
Battery life extenders,
Grain elevators and fencing tools,
Produce and livestock products,
Lightning rods and roofing,
Chrome-edged cultivator shovels,
Insurance for everything:
Fire, water, wind, hail.

Pitches came without exception:

"Top o' the morning! Looks like you're busy.
Don't want to take your time."

"Looks like you could use some welding rod,
And I have something new for you to try."

"Have you used chromium additive in you livestock salt?
Guaranteed to put on weight and protect from bovine
Tuberculosis!"

"Say, have you heard about the effectiveness of a new
Insecticide called DDT? I've got a sample gallon here
For you to try. Works better than Malathion!"

Dad, eventually intrigued, began the slow dance
Of dickering, haggling over this thing or that.
Most salesmen, closing in for a ****,
Hadn't grappled with my father.

At noon, deals still in the air,
My mother called the men,
And we all trudged in to wash,
Waiting in line at the tub,
Scrubbing with powdered Tide
To remove the grime and grease,
Drying on the darkening towel,
Finding a seat at the table.

The salesmen expected the meal
As though it were their right,
A standing invitation:
Stop in at noon,
Make your pitch,
Sit at table,
Close the deal after.

We boys sat and listened
To man talk.
Eyes wide, we marveled
At gadgets,
Wondered at Dad's parleying,
Winced at the deals he drove,
Commiserated with squirming salesmen
Surely made destitute by Dad's hard bargaining.

In retrospect,
I know the game was played
On two sides,
That the battery additives
Bought for five dollars a packet,
Even with the two Dad finagled free,
Cost about five dollars for everything,
Returned forty-five and change
To the smirking, full-bellied salesman
Who left a cloud of dust on his way
To supper a few miles down the road.
We don't see traveling salesmen anymore at the ranches in Montana. I guess internet sales did them in.
Yitkbel Nov 2019
I

It seems that there are no more
Unreachable dreams
It happens that in this world
There can be no real peace          

When blood and tears still bleed
For those buried under the rubble of war
And unfulfilled needs
How many of us despair in the ennui
Of unexplained emptiness, of gluttony          
Of materialism and wants

Mankind must grow with upward gazes
As the sunflower must face the sun              
But when our desires are so easily reached
And when the time has become senile, and forgettable
What happens to us ordinary people?  
Swept away and obscured by Reality and the gunsmoke?
Then, silenced?



But I,
I must sing
Must sing in the desolation
In the silence
I sing
Forget me if you please,
Mock me if you please
“Chasing meaningless dreams”
“Reality isn’t idealistic like your poetry”
            

Yet-

Think,
what songs and chants, after a millennium still sing
Think,
what colours and paints, after centuries
Still brightly remains
Think,
Imagine if there are no words and Babylon
Is only recalled in the ruins’ dreams

I must fearlessly sing,
Fearlessly sing,
With every atom of my soul and being
With nothing, like a beggar to the kings,
But my love
Wild and free

Save the world in my paintings
Shine hope from my poetry
When my flesh is buried by the fleeting
When my soul ascends into the everlasting
My thoughts, my songs, will still be echoing
Resonating
Within every heart like me,
Borne
From
A dream                

II

Black smoke fills the red battlefield
Gray fogs and clouds banishing all light
All cries and outbursts, quickly dissipating
I still sing, within the solitude, brightly sing

The gargantuan Oak Tree breathing in the desolation
Its crowns are still hidden above the clouds,
Above all beings
Though, most of its leaves, have already left
For that place
We cannot yet be

The sun slowly descends
Bidding farewell to the moon waning  
Above the light-polluted plain
Wounded by the over-brightness
Of materials and beings
None can find any guiding stars
The hungry and lost dream of flying
The full and peaceful suffer in ennui



But I,
I must sing
Must sing in the desolation
In the silence
I sing
Forget me if you please,
Mock me if you please
“Chasing meaningless dreams”
“Reality isn’t idealistic like your poetry”

Yet,

I must fearlessly sing,
Fearlessly sing,
With every atom of my soul and being
With nothing, like a beggar to the kings,
But my love
Wild and free

Save the world in my paintings
Shine hope from my poetry
When my flesh is buried by the fleeting
When my soul ascends into the everlasting
My thoughts, my songs, will still be echoing
Resonating
Within every heart like me,
Borne
From a
Dream

III

All beings are occupied with walking
Through the hectic roads                    
But I am still trembling, climbing
The bough of this abandoned Oak Tree
Way above, the light, real, mirage or delusion?
Resisting my hesitation
I still keep my faith steady and unwavering
Though only the silence loudly sings
With a few leaves of mockery and laughter
Calling me absurd
Calling me silly
I still sing, I still scream
Dazed with my humility



But I,
I must sing
Must sing in the desolation
In the silence
I sing
Forget me if you please,
Mock me if you please
“Chasing meaningless dreams”
“Reality isn’t idealistic like your poetry”
Yet,

I must fearlessly sing,
Fearlessly sing,
With every atom of my soul and being
With nothing, like a beggar to the kings,
But my love
Wild and free

Save the world in my paintings
Shine hope from my poetry
When my flesh is buried by the fleeting
When my soul ascends into the everlasting
My thoughts, my songs, will still be echoing
Resonating
Within every heart like me,
Borne
From a
Dream

IV

Like salmon swimming upstream
Upon this Life’s Strait
Between Nothingness of Being
And the Endlessness of Being
Every woman and man
Rushing towards the same direction
Flight or falling
The end is always the same
Death, and repeats,
The Cycle of Living

The Sea of Every Being, who would stop flowing?
Stones, or vessels, everything standing still, will never remain
Fish and droplets, must also combine with the waters of already been

Throughout history,
Prosperity never enjoyed longevity
It doesn’t matter at all,
Whether or not you believe in the
Holy Dream
Everyone wants to leave a mark
Leave a mark on the plain
Where impermanence permanently be  
Leave a mark, footsteps
Where the dust of beings and the temporal wind
Will always sweep
It all
Clean

And I stop, downstream
Facing everyone upwards
Leaving
And sing



And I,
I must sing
Must sing in the desolation
In the silence
I sing
Forget me if you please,
Mock me if you please
“Chasing meaningless dreams”
“Reality isn’t idealistic like your poetry”
Yet,

I must fearlessly sing,
Fearlessly sing,
With every atom of my soul and being
With nothing, like a beggar to the kings,
But my love
Wild and free

Save the world in my paintings
Shine hope from my poetry
When my flesh is buried by the fleeting
When my soul ascends into the everlasting
My thoughts, my songs, will still be echoing
Resonating
Within every heart like me,
Borne
From a
Dream

Conclusion:

Row upon row
Hopeless bodies crawl and crouch
Upon the desert of abundance
Chased by the sandstorm
That will soon catch up to us
And sweep over all

But those of us awake
Rush towards the other way
Fearlessly sing
Joyously sing
It doesn’t matter what lies beyond this wave
Darkness or Light
We still sing
In the Desolation, I Must Sing
Original Lyric in Chinese written:
Thursday, October 24, 2019, 8:44 PM
English translation completed on:
Sunday, October 27, 2019, 2:00PM
---
Thanks to Lawrence Hall for proofreading! :)
This is from a few weeks ago; I think my mind and eyes need a little rest. I also should read a little bit more, my reservoir of knowledge is running a little bit low.
Autumn Daze Jun 2016
What do I do now?
Why do I'm feeling Ennui?
Though I don't want to,
I am still lonely and blue
When will melancholy end?
060716
a tremor of
trains in thought
flailed and
finger-laced
as if set upon
by silver ennui,
it stretched
all the way
to Topeka:
Tracks put up
by dead men in dark hats
Whoever you are, I fear you are walking the walks of dreams,
I fear these supposed realities are to melt from under your feet and hands;
Even now, your features, joys, speech, house, trade, manners, troubles, follies,
costume, crimes, dissipate away from you,
Your true Soul and Body appear before me,
They stand forth out of affairs—out of commerce, shops, law, science,
work, forms, clothes, the house, medicine, print, buying, selling, eating,
drinking, suffering, dying.

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem;
I whisper with my lips close to your ear,
I have loved many women and men, but I love none better than you.

O I have been dilatory and dumb;
I should have made my way straight to you long ago;
I should have blabb’d nothing but you, I should have chanted nothing but you.

I will leave all, and come and make the hymns of you;
None have understood you, but I understand you;
None have done justice to you—you have not done justice to yourself;
None but have found you imperfect—I only find no imperfection in you;
None but would subordinate you—I only am he who will never consent
to subordinate you;
I only am he who places over you no master, owner, better, God, beyond
what waits intrinsically in yourself.

Painters have painted their swarming groups, and the centre figure of all;
From the head of the centre figure spreading a nimbus of gold-color’d light;
But I paint myriads of heads, but paint no head without its nimbus of
gold-color’d light;
From my hand, from the brain of every man and woman it streams,
effulgently flowing forever.

O I could sing such grandeurs and glories about you!
You have not known what you are—you have slumber’d upon yourself
all your life;
Your eye-lids have been the same as closed most of the time;
What you have done returns already in mockeries;
(Your thrift, knowledge, prayers, if they do not return in mockeries,
what is their return?)

The mockeries are not you;
Underneath them, and within them, I see you lurk;
I pursue you where none else has pursued you;
Silence, the desk, the flippant expression, the night, the accustom’d routine,
if these conceal you from others, or from yourself, they do not conceal you
from me;
The shaved face, the unsteady eye, the impure complexion, if these balk others,
they do not balk me,
The pert apparel, the deform’d attitude, drunkenness, greed, premature death,
all these I part aside.

There is no endowment in man or woman that is not tallied in you;
There is no virtue, no beauty, in man or woman, but as good is in you;
No pluck, no endurance in others, but as good is in you;
No pleasure waiting for others, but an equal pleasure waits for you.

As for me, I give nothing to any one, except I give the like carefully to you;
I sing the songs of the glory of none, not God, sooner than I sing the songs
of the glory of you.

Whoever you are! claim your own at any hazard!
These shows of the east and west are tame, compared to you;
These immense meadows—these interminable rivers—you are immense
and interminable as they;
These furies, elements, storms, motions of Nature, throes of apparent dissolution—
you are he or she who is master or mistress over them,
Master or mistress in your own right over Nature, elements, pain, passion, dissolution.

The hopples fall from your ankles—you find an unfailing sufficiency;
Old or young, male or female, rude, low, rejected by the rest, whatever you are
promulges itself;
Through birth, life, death, burial, the means are provided, nothing is scanted;
Through angers, losses, ambition, ignorance, ennui, what you are picks its way.
Don Bouchard Aug 2018
Cicadas whine metallically
In trees along the sweltered streets;
Wasps and hornets arc angrily
Enough to cause me fear.
Late summer’s not my favorite time of year.

Flowers nearly done;
The tulips, irises, and poppies
Long since seeded out;
They’ve had their fun.
Bedraggled day lilies remain,
This is the beginning of the mums.
Bees seek latent nectars
Or tap into their golden stores
To supplement their bumbling runs.

Lawns foist a burnt but stubborn edge
While only thistles still refuse
To bow to August's incessant heat;
Their spikes sprout poisonous defiance.
The dog’s left yellowed pools of dying grass;
I admit the neighbors’ lawns surpass.  
I suppose the time to gather
Drying excrement’s returned, alas....

Keeping up appearances is hard at summer's end.
Ennui of season full and just past ripe  
Leaves tired old men like me
A chiding cause to gripe.
Morning thoughts August 17, 2018
Anais Vionet Aug 1
Being back home, in my childhood room is like climbing into a time capsule. I left for college quickly, back in ‘21 and I’ve only been back here once, briefly.

My closets are still full of my old high school clothes and there are shelves that line the upper walls of my room with maybe a hundred “Disney Princess” collectable statues (my favorite is Ariel).

I have one wall space behind my bathroom door that has a hundred yellow stickies on it - reminders of old assignments and quotes like, “Do you hate drama or create drama?” and “Imagine your future.”

Everything seems carbon dated. It gives me an impeccable, knife-like sense of ennui. I want to cherish it all or burn it all, depending on the time of day. I went to take down my old Humphry Bogart and Billie Eilish posters yesterday and Kim said “Noo,” in such a sad way that I stopped.

Hold on, let’s overthink this.

I had a hard conversation today. I broke the news to my cats (Belichick and Tom Brady) that school starts at the end of the month, and I have to go back.

They took it well, I think. You know how cats are. I’ll know in a day or two, if their good will has turned to sour offense - they'll claw something up.

Belichick seems to be watching me extra closely though.
.
.
Songs for this:
Lava by Still Woozy
Can't Hardly Wait by The Replacements
.
08.01.3PM
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge 07.31: Impeccable: means flawless
Butch Decatoria Apr 2016

Poor Mrs. Sincere Lee
Stares longingly at a frame
Gilded gold and empty
On her wall
Once a portrait of her younger face
If only her wane and fading
Mind beneath her thin crown
Of silver white
Could remember
Nimbly
If she could only
Brush stroke memory

Back to life
When thoughts have drowned
In misty loss
Her youth and summers
A distant shore
In a regretful ocean of
Salvatore Dali clocks
Her emotions turned against her
Enemies at the door

Draining the vivid Now
Most recollections are merely sewn
Waves of ups and downs
Cast away in an album of
Forlorn

She recalls her demure lil curtsy
She was loyal as a pet rock,
Still she stares at the blank canvas
Rather than the dawn on the dock
Frozen in the lack
Of having known nor found
Someone
More than this
Silent dame of down
With more to her than some
Husband's name
Mrs. Sincere Lee in her pink
Bath robe
Can only stare at the yellow frame

With a thinning crown
Of silver white
Of wish of need of crave
The days without an empty canvas
Or her sentence
of self blame
Time is leaving her
Frozen In such hollow
Shame.

Ennui.
The trenchant ocean
Burns with out a flame.
onlylovepoetry Feb 2018
Parkland: Oh My divine, We Wrestle Over What is Yours



and what is mine

it took days for the after- shock and awe to arrive;

the bizarre tempo reversal, myself, out of order,
is my shame, after the mind’s pretense ennui of “yet another,”
had to slow seep away beneath the
firewall cutting off the pain of my the true self
and the I, of ordinary

how else, to keep the madness away?
it’s disguised in a well tended secured lockbox
chamber labeled, I, all about me,
deep hid in the rear, not too near the true self,
must keep the unseeing functioning, functioning

but bus-ted poet is triggered and the weep welling
in the eyes commencing that makes writing on a cell
on a moving vehicle an annoying frosting
on what is an inconsolable hell

everyone stares unawares that the shock,
is without awe, and the only awe is in awful awful awful awful

we sit at the Friday eve sabbath table to begin our negotiation;
but there is no negotiating though the excuses and the divine’s stumbling, flailing failings are pre-prepared,
we know this battle too well and the outcome as well,
it is mine true self’s to win, have me not
words and stanzas and music suffice
to convict the lord of the hosts, adonai

take all your seventy names in vain to crush the vanity of
omnipotence for your godliness degrades and your instant access to where the good in me resides is cutoff;
under My Contacts
you have been


blocked

we shall meet as always on the Day of Atonement
but this year no repentance to be granted, the pardons shared
with my kind only, none left for the lonely gone-gods,
no longer seek yours for me, there are 17 extra to be given out*

the left foot and the falsehoods join in the denunciation,
though some suggest reprieve and only reproach
for isn’t atonement possible for even gods?  No. not,
for a god who got human kindness installed in all his devices
but then never opened the app

my name was
onlylovepoetry;
but for now, till the culling of the agonies is done,
till the hollows are refilled and the curses fully final expended,
till the sudden eye tearing ceases to render me torn, messed,
you may call me nothing but this:

onlyreproachpoetry

should you come calling
there will be no beseeching,
just the stoic bearing witness of my silence,
my finger-pointing judgement,
and my angels presence

“May the angel Michael be at my right,
and the angel Gabriel be at my left;
and in front of me the angel Uriel,
and behind me the angel Raphael...”
and above me seventeen new protectors
whose names my true self will now memorize,

for now they are mine

~<•>~

2/16/18 4:34pm  ~ 2/17/18  3:34am
Andrew Guzaldo c Apr 2018
“I am that of a rugged farmhand quite,
Adept to love cordially,
As that alone of a man and the sea,
Created in the depths of the ocean floor,

Envisioning you brought me to the earth,
Leaping bounds in wonder of the sunlight you bring,
As if on the back of a blackbird disgorged from his beak,
Adjacent the swampy sand shore with crushing waves,

Body of not a dowager but of a celestial woman,
I could survive this if this was not a delusion,
I could utilize my feelings as a weapon to elude her to me,
She will be in my arms I know when the time is right,
The hour of reprisal abates and I know I love this matron,

I will prevail in the elegance of this beautiful deity,
Darkness falling upon us as I thirst for immutable desire,
A silk white obis garb of roses beneath the garment,
Our voices assessing words and then our merriment of fervor,
As the ennui follows joy jaded our eyes vision of Passion”

By AG 04/26/2018  ©
Khoisan Jun 2019
Boredom digs itself a hole,
its friends?
manages its soul.
A snare of despair
into the straits
of Hades,
Beware!!!
Idle hands (friends?) demons substance abuse suicidal thoughts snares death hades

— The End —