Dad,Daddy,Father
those words don't break my heart;
they destory it,
crushing it into a million peices
456 days ago,
I would've smiled at those words thinking of great memories;
now, I think of death
where is my Dad now?
is my Daddy somewhere beautiful?
is my Father laughing with other angels?
why isn't he with me?
why isn't he laughing with me?
I ask people these questions
they reply with "It was his time, it will get better."
they lied
it doesn't get better, you just learn to live with it
It's been 457 days or 658,876 minutes
and I still find myself counting back to when I was with him
Dad,Daddy,Father
your little girl is down here wishing she was with you
hoping that wherever you are in heaven,
you're wishing you were with her too.

Dont destroy what you have to chase after your past....even if your past has a phater ***..Well maybe you can visit once or twice...naw that isn't right...chasing after pleasure for the cost of your life...or maybe just for the cause of a good time...cuz it seems like theres little good in a good time...but everybody wants one...just to have a lil fun..So if im just looking for a good time does going backwards make me dumb...or can I just use the excuse I was looking for some fun...I mean yeah my present is a gift..but my burdens it cant lift... its tylenol to my pain but I need some extra relief..but that sounds contradicive to my belief...of monotony..creating contraversy...inside the brain...like deciding to switch lanes...But i just want to taste it...its like i just became a vegetarien but i want a buger and with meats the only way i can make it...so Im pondering if I should...I dont wanna be thinking that I should have could have would...can your past become your future... or should your present be the picture....Of Jubilee..When do you get to blame destiny...Cuz everybodys looking for a reason..for treason...But they always need a point man to evoke..Destiny you can be my scapegoat...Cuz i want to relapse just a bit..I just want one more high one more hit..and if I again become addicted...I guess my present isn't want Destiny predicted...But i dont want to destory my present it really is a gift..but destiny only made me a man so sometimes I think like this....

The starseed was found here on earth.... on OCT 7th 1831 it was found in a lake that had dried up due to drought... No one could really tell how long it had been there..

It was like nothing anyone had ever seen.. No form of tool could open it.. No form of energy could destory it..

From what ever was inside it waitied until it was time to be born..

April 5th 1980, a scientist discovered that this starseeds markings where that of where it had been..

The dots represented star constellations.. Orion could be seen on the bottom of the starseed.. This thing has been all over the cosmos.. Seems this is its last stop here on earth..

June 20th 2013. A young boy saw something in the starseed that everyone seemed to have missed.. The dots also shaped a form of code.. If looked at from afar you could see this code to be a strain of D.N.A..

On Oct 7th 2013 a little girl named Salem was born.. Her blood matched the code of the starseed.. Today a drop of her blood will be introduced to the starseed..

Are we what we think we are?

Beast…

Human...

Monster…

God…

Do we live in the space of reality, or merely the reailty of a fantasys delusion
Do you hold the serpents tongue? Do your palms seek to destory creation?
Who is the child of Christ, when God is the curve of the Devil’s smile
Do we seek the bliss of human community, or do we wish to merely control what we want?
Are we the true heart of darkness?
Or are we merely the blood pumping that most poison of ruby

Your heart hides behind a wall much taller than me.
Fear makes your voice shake.
I can sense it.

You want to love something delicate, something fragile.
But too afraid that you will destory it in the end.

So your mind tosses and turns.
Back and forth with the idea that these feelings are real.
That maybe you could feel human again.

And with every good thought, there are two bad ones after.
That you're a monster in disguise.
Just for a little bit.

And maybe if you gave yourself the time of day...
You could see that your heart is actually beating.
Defrosting from the past.

I wish you would accept the love you give
and the love you could receive.
Because deep down I know you're wishing for something brilliant.
Something that hasn't happened, at least not yet.

Take her hand before it fades into a memory.
Make this moment worth it.
She's worth the try.
You're worth it, without a question.

The beauty of life is
hazard turns to malaise
and sorrow takes over momentary joy
A subtle means to destory
eternity with all its glory
and **** the hero in a happy story
oh life is far beyond a tragedy
Easy to mourn over with a requiem
or a second chance for sins to be redeemed
It is the omnipresent alchemy
through faint traces of a raindrop
and a rose that wasn't meant to die
life is tasteless truth inside a sweet lie
That mother death will take us with her
Her promising voice never bitter
Oh but not all that shines is glitter
Life is you, tied in a loop of rusty chains
Forever willing to bear the optional pain.

Sister, what I did
was a small mistake
Please forgive me
I buy you a new cake!

Sister, I'm your sweet
little brother
How can you lock me
in a room for an hour!??

Sister, I really dint mean
to break your nose
It was accidently done,
when I tried to give you a rose!

Sister, I really didnt
mean to destory your cake
I just tried to surprise
you with a milk shake!

Sister, I'll buy you a
sweet choco bar
Please make up your
mind to open the door!

Sister, you are such
a bad girl
You still kept me
in dark and dull!

Sister, you're a bad girl
you're such a bad bad
bad girl!!

----de3pak

I get pulled out of class every Tuesday and Thursday to basically face my fears. The nice, warm, voice of the speech therapist smoothes my anxiety as she begins to tell me about how she can help me and shows me how our body is like a seed, water is the soul and our minds is like roots on a tree. My spirit feels safe. Then, she pulls out a passage to read....

(The room was filled with laughter,
The room was filled with laughter,)

Instantly, my nervousness comes back and I begin to choke on every syllable and adverbs. I sigh in a hopeless depression because I'm trying my best to fight against ... Myself.
The speech therapist tells me to try again... No matter how many times I messed up it seemed like she was always  there to guide my way to increase hope even though I felt powerless. I never stop trying. This moment made me feel like everything will be alright and I can push through anything, even though it might take alittle time because of what I have, as long as I keep trying, I can take that fear, destory it, use it to my advantage in the future and maybe be an inspiration to others that went through a similar situtation.
Welcome to chapter 2.

I cant hate myself because of you
Your insecurity and indecisive acts will not influence my emotions
Ive grow why you stay the same
You play your games I pursue destiny
You're one big lie  time to say goodbye
It feels I must destory your memory
Forgetting because all we had was not meant to be
Live and learn find someone who appreciates me
Supportive not trying to compete with
Encouraging not poison the mind with doubt

Happiness reminds me of a sandcastle
It can be corrodred by the lickings waves
Or taken all at once by the tide of life
But we'll come back and rebulid
It might be larger or smaller
We might destory it on own accord
Happiness is becoming a metaphor
I'm content to watch on the ocean floor

Have you felt the tug on your nerves
Felt the constant ringing in your ears
Your hands jerking like a jelly bowl
And your forehead twisted like a wet rope
The feeling is immense
Its so deep its raw and intense
Those nagging tounges and blabbering lips
Can make you proclaim the right to ****
You twitch to maim and destory
That lingering itch to crack open a skull and enjoy

The cribber party is one of a kind
They are a mouthful and one ******* mind
Cute little dolls can be pin poked
But can the trolls ever be roped?
Hung by a nooze so tight
Given a chance you might even enjoy the sight.

Your friends out of devil's pocket may ignore you
The blueticks on your messages may avoid you
The boss will pick on you like a cheese *******
And the world will conspire and deride and jack you up.

Dont lose calm
Coz sanity once gone will give you a ****..
Your tallest of the four fingers
May be your motto for forever
You might pull of a crazy mind coup
On those pestering sons of cockroach

In the end
Its your nerves of steel that soldier on
Like an overloaded bridge under strain they hold on
Like an airship in turbulence you will ride it through
Some days are gloomy, some mornings can be sweet
Dont you let go, march on...
For there's a right to obey and a right to ****

Today I lost a friend,
I've watched from afar as he severed his life lines one by one while begging for more,
He dove head first into a pile of crushed pills and clouds of smoke until his soul found it couldn't live in the battered body any longer.
Today, I lost a friend.
When I told him how much it hurt to see him destory himself,
He assured me that HE was okay.
Today, I can't watch it anymore.
He wants this, and I am not brave enough to try and stop him.
I tried that once.
It didn't work.
Today, I let him go.
Because the eyes I once knew have been swallowed by the kind of insanity I wish upon nobody to see.
He spoke, but no words came out.
A string of words that vaguely resembled a message, about time travel and enlightenment tied together by a god complex that was always slightly there.
Today, I mourn.
Today, I lost a friend.

Please.
For I beg of you
To not leave me alone.
Do not leave me alone
With my thoughts.
They are too
Powerful.
Overwhelming.
If you leave,
They will take over.
They will devour me.
Take me in,
Claim my mind as their own,
And destory me.

An event. An addition
Simple, complex.

Novel. Delight.
Amusement, fear.

Through time enough, enough through time
From age to age, from soul to soul.
From the depths, from the heights, amounting

A dream of fears, a nightmare of desires
A contrast in hope, a contrast in faith
A distant light burns brightest, mutually.

Though joy, the greatest
Offers more than most

However demands a certain yearning.
Of legendary fabled origin
Pending finality.
                   from reality.
                     through infinity.

Bounding from thought to conclusion
Procuring and devouring;
Knowledge of beauty and the beauty of knowledge
Ever-lasting, yet finite, understanding.

Aclaimed to conquer all
To vanquish all
To destory all
To end all

Yet survives
Notwithstanding

This society does not wish to keep you safe, you are inbetween the cracks

You are the slums, you are the ghetto, you are the problem, you are the obstacle

You are the different, you dress against the code, you do not conform to what the male populous tells of you

You are the sick, you are the freak, you are the disease, you are the immoral

Your love is to another of the same gender, you are not right, you are a cancer, you are what is wrong

Do you believe your society wishes to protect you?

You are a different color, yet you are blood and organs just like the rest of humanity, the same as any other mammal

But you are the problem, you are the volatile, this is the certainty of this society

What of the kids?

What of our privleged?

What of the moral fiber?

What of reverse hate?

Countless excuses to mask the hate and ignorance which this society holds for those that don’t follow it

Excuses to cast its fire among the riverbanks, to scorch and burn anything it deems unworthy to it

You are fat, you are human, you live as any other person that walks and breathes

But you are ill, you are sick, you promote a sickness that is damaging to the health of the society

Do not confront the hypocrisy of the society, how it wished to damage the self love of you, it wished to destory your self esteem

You know what you are in your heart, in your soul, in your body, yet you must wear a permanent mask

You must live in fear of violence, of explotation, of the darkness in humanity

You are a monster, you are sickness, you are things that deserve no love

This is what the society tells you, this is what they wish of you, to know that you aren’t human

You don’t fit the normal constraints of love, you express it in ways that scares the society

You are immoral, you are wrong, you are sick

You do not fit to the normal sexualities, you do not fit to what they think you should fit to

You are a disease, you are sin, you are hedonistic mistakes

You, you are different, you are nothing like the model that the society wishes you to be

They are afraid of change, they know that with change, their reign will slowly fall from them

Do not believe that they wish to help you, this is only a crocodile smile

This is only the wolves dressed as sheep

They will try to destroy you at any point, this is their goal, for you exist, and that is a problem

You are a threat to the old ways, you are a threat to the old ignorance

For you will fight your whole life to get your respect, it is a dark truth, it is a sad truth, but it is truth

But you are a fighter, you always have been

Do not listen to their words, it is merely a way to break your bones

You are the moon, you cannot be broken, you control the tides

You are the sun, you are bright, you are radiant

You are the rivers that span across this earth, you are the life to many things around you

You are the flowers, you are the fields, you are the birds, you are the creation

You will fight your whole life

Fight for what is your respect

But you will win

You will

Win

I said fate plays a game without a score,
and who needs fish if you've got caviar?
The triumph of the Gothic style would come to pass
and turn you on--no need for coke, or grass.
I sit by the window. Outside, an aspen.
When I loved, I loved deeply. It wasn't often.

I said the forest's only part of a tree.
Who needs the whole girl if you've got her knee?
Sick of the dust raised by the modern era,
the Russian eye would rest on an Estonian spire.
I sit by the window. The dishes are done.
I was happy here. But I won't be again.

I wrote: The bulb looks at the flower in fear,
and love, as an act, lacks a verb; the zer-
o Euclid thought the vanishing point became
wasn't math--it was the nothingness of Time.
I sit by the window. And while I sit
my youth comes back. Sometimes I'd smile. Or spit.

I said that the leaf may destory the bud;
what's fertile falls in fallow soil--a dud;
that on the flat field, the unshadowed plain
nature spills the seeds of trees in vain.
I sit by the window. Hands lock my knees.
My heavy shadow's my squat company.

My song was out of tune, my voice was cracked,
but at least no chorus can ever sing it back.
That talk like this reaps no reward bewilders
no one--no one's legs rest on my sholders.
I sit by the window in the dark. Like an express,
the waves behind the wavelike curtain crash.

A loyal subject of these second-rate years,
I proudly admit that my finest ideas
are second-rate, and may the future take them
as trophies of my struggle against suffocation.
I sit in the dark. And it would be hard to figure out
which is worse; the dark inside, or the darkness out.


Anonymous Submission

Joseph Brodsky

you burn me
yet you soothe my wounds with your words

i set you on fire
and then lead you to the river

you are the flame
offering the light to find my way

i burn you
and abandon you in pain

you set me on fire
then hand me the oil

i am the flame
you try to escape

we destory
to build back up

together we burn brighter
our fire shining bloodred

together we create a flame so high
it swallows our surroundings

we stand in the middle of the ashes
and look at each other

Why do we love when we only get hurt?
We try so hard to find "the one"
but it never works.

We open ourselves up to a love so true
but in the end it just disappears
and all we are left with is the pain...

The pain destroys us,
finding ways to destory not only us but those around us.
We have trouble rebuilding ourselves.

We look for ways to **** the pain....
but we know deep down that
the only cure is that one true love that we have lost.

The one love that doesnt judge
that doesnt envy or hurt.
The love that is eternal and everlasting.

The love that is forever gone....
gone and disappeared.