My whole life has been a ******* crazy adventure. I have done some things that I will never speak of and wanted nothing more but to flirt with those demons forever.. but love has changed me, yet those shadows I have to put up with to be with this beautiful creation.. yet truly I want nothing more now but live every moment and every dying breath with her by my side. I want to give her everything.. I want a life amongst the normal world.. but I have destroyed every heart that has cared for me, trying to get out of this grave, while having to keep feeding these creatures.. trying to show her happiness, and she is facing her own abyss.. I would give anything to escape and pull her into my arms and make all these monsters go away but I am scared one might pull her back in while I am while my back is turned battling another and I wont be able to recover her.. that is why I have nothing to show for and why rainbows and butterflies aren't clouding up the world around me and that is why I am so stressed out... I love her more then anything and will either decay in torment with her or live life... either way I will be happy with her even if I am a meanie sometimes... its only because I want better for her and want her to be truly happy.. just wish she knew how much worth she really has in my eyes... Love you Miss Lacy Duncan <3 and I promise I always will!

Just when you believe you have been through your worst moments, when you believe your heart has been broken beyond repair, just when that glue is starting to set it is smashed apart again.. You start to see that it is your hands that has inflected this pain apon yourself.. maybe as a self-definse mechanism from letting you get your heart broke in the first place, or maybe your scared that you can't live up and be that person she dreamed of being with forever and letting her down.. you sit their humming yourself to sleep only wishing you were dreaming and would wake up.. yet it starts to set in, your realize you have ****** up.. nothing you say or do will ever make the torment go away. Even though she is still right by yourside in your  head this future event has already happened but you are the one making it by believing your visions are not changeable and so you have become ****** at the world and everybody.. letting your world slip away, letting your demons win and control your mind.. becoming pretty much a wasted piece of flesh.. and the more you start to realize the deeper you end up burying yourself because you can't believe what you have become and you hate yourself for it... ah if love was simple..

Life is very interesting when you meet somebody with demons that are darker then your own.. realizing you can be destroyed in the worse way possible.. your heart tends to change more colors then just grey.. wanting nothing more but to please the other demons so you can have full control over your possessed victim again.. yet demons don't like to give up or come to terms.. the war amongst them can destory both host who still have a part of them bleed through trying to find happiness coming from nothing but a wrecked tormented life.. things tend to become pretty crazy, yet somewhere within my mind I believe even the darkest creatures have a heart somewhere and deserve to feel love.. yet it will be hell for all till the calm finally arrives.. yet once it does the energy of both sides will be so unbelievable that even I can't begin to put it into any form of human words.. you just have to hang in there for the ride..

Just when you believed you have reached way passed death, to where you understand all the details in life and all your demons love you, after that calm is over, the storm has just started I have found out. Now you believed you had every ****** tide mapped out, you could pause time and study situations as if you had a god's view of everything.. be able to see past, present, and future.. Life just started to seem so ******* simple.. and humans just seemed so boring.. You would annoy the hell out of the spirit world to just find something that would maybe feed your mind so you could learn something new or even for entertainment.. yet even that was starting to have dead-ends and the picture was so plain.. there had to be more to it.. now to make you happy your tossed in such a complex puzzle that everything is not 1+1.. and you start to believe that it has no meaning and that your just truly in hell.. a never ending void.. of simple problems which normally would be so easy to fix.. but the answers just won't ******* add up.. you do everything like normal, but your feeling so weak, too weak to ever be able to do it.. and you find your true love through all the haze.. but you are so stuck on all this **** you can't seem to figure out anymore.. which seems to be backwards with this world your in now.. and it makes no sense.. yet you haven't come this far despite your issues and the drama to let her slip away.. but now she is starting to not like a single piece of what she fell in-love with.. every moment of all you do is just to make her happy.. yet this world just has its fangs dug deep into your soul that no matter what the drama and stress circles you.. as if it doesn't want you to be happy.. that evil creature wants to take you down and make you look so horrible while doing it that you even start to believe you deserve it for not being strong enough to be yourself.. and with all these cloudy memories you don't even remember who you were.. It is funny as that has always been your goal to be who you once was, striving for your younger godlike self... but now you just wish to have peace and rest, wishing it would end sometimes.. but somehow my heart survived all this and seems so pointless to even have sometimes.. but I still care and love hoping that some of this backwards karma shines a little light on me sometimes.. but **** even if I am in this horrible place lost as **** I still get to make moments with this wonderful girl and her two beautiful daughters..

Habits **** friendships no matter even if you are close enough to be brothers, it is sad. Almost makes me feel like a horrible person, as maybe I should not partake and have a fun time as well.. And try to force them to do right, maybe I am not a true friend because of that.. I have the souls of the dead and the lights of the stars reflecting off the moon.. My energy's heart is at peace, that is all I need.. Your demons have nothing on me humans.. I am protected and loved by many more creations then your limited minds of this place.. There is so much more, many more doors then you could ever open, yet people are still stuck on learning simple things.. Maybe I should just end this flesh and hide behind those doors your so scared to open, you wouldn't miss me anyways I am not a needle.. You are not going to harm me anymore people and toss me into questioning who I am or if I am not being a friend to my fullest.. If you are a true friend yourself then you will always be able to find me behind one of those doors, until then blessed be to all people and sorry to all I have done wrong, yet if everything is for a reason and happens for you to learn something from.. Then should I be sorry? <3

Without death there would be no such thing as life.. they need eachother like night and day.. why fear anything? Fear is only a limit you place upon yourself.. open your mind and let everything in, you will not be harmed.. good and evil is like a relationship of two who make something completely different when they are a whole.. it is the start to the key to opening the door to the understanding of everything.. yet is made to scare those who are too dumb founded to let go and dance on that edge..

Still here lost and unsure. Veins have rotted cant seem to find the cure. My soul is no longer mine, trust me I am far from fine! Looking for you to stop this nightmare, but I feel you gave up on me and dont care. The darkness has finally drowned out my light but I cant seem to die and give up the fight. Thy demons have grown past my control, where my thoughts used to be is just a black hole. Memories feel taken, I'm so cold, cant stop shaking. My walls are falling down, cant be a god forever I have found. Hell has nothing on this, it is greater then Satan could of ever wished. It is not of anything I have witnessed before, the end of everything? I am truly not sure. Am I dead? Is it all in my head? Should I give in and paint this town red? I dance with death, you swim down my trail of tears. Until I am gone and life cease, I disappear. Floating in space on this spear, trapped in time that I fear. Your moment has come! A race to the grave, trying to find the answers to a ridle that can't be solved. Give me your flesh so I can evolve into something that is dead.. and can leave this hell that your God ******* bled.. My mind is clear and I give in, go ahead and judge me for my sins..