The moment was unforgettable, the waiting came to an end. The words were surreal, time seemed to stop. My heart dropped and my eyes couldn't focus. A shiver ran through me from my toes to my ears. No sound could be heard as everything faded away. I hung on every word the day that the world went silent and he told me he loved me.
I saw a blue bird today. As blue as a Saphier the bird flew by. In a landscape that had gone dreary and Grey a splash of spring came my way. Landing on a fence post the bird just looked around, like a painted fixture out of place . I did not wonder why the bird came by, I only know that I had found unique beauty in a dark winter scape. Like joy you find in a morning sunrise, after a night of rain. My soul was lifted up in knowing beauty has not left the world around me.
They say with age comes wisdom, but in fact with Wisdom, comes confusion. What I thought I knew I do not know and what was real is now surreal. Time didn't move fast enough when I was young, but now that I am old, it is a precious commodity. Though I have read many books, others opinions now seem less important than my own. If I could impart lessons, I would want to teach only myself. I am not sure what I am supposed to have learned through a lifetime of study, but I am sure it is not what I wanted to understand. The world was a lot simpler when the sky was blue, water was wet and the sun was warm. Now that I have gained knowledge, the more I know the less I understand of what it all means.
The timber is stained with the Crimson flow. The nail holes tell the story. The turning point of eternity, the place where all can become worthy. The Crimson flow that makes you white as snow. The place where a choice is made. On a barren hill, the cross road can heal it all.
Let the cold drops wash over me! Let the water cleanse me! Let my silhouetted form in the Darkness add a sense of Mystery as to why I am here. Some people run from the Thunder, I embrace the lightning from the sky. I relish the cold water as it falls over every inch of me. I shake my head and let my hair flow freely. Water drenches me and sets me free. I become one with the Skyfall as I shed all of my pain. I am what was and will be again, I am reborn in the rain
I know all of the verses and I can tell you what it is about. I can tell you who Jesus is, of that there is no doubt. I can comfort you and pray for you, as much as you like. I can be there for you at midday or at midnight. What I cannot do is take away your sin, there is only one can do that, he is my dearest friend. So if you feel a tugging at heart, don't let it go by. Open up the door and let my friend inside. Despite all of the things I can do, the one thing I can't is believe for you!
I know some who read this will bristle at it as fantasy. I know some will abhor it, but no one will stand for me except me. So is it better to speak of what I truly believe or to keep silent?
I wake up at night in a cold sweat. I toss and turn on my bed. I am afraid to close my eyes for fear I will see my friends. The ghost I left behind, on the battle field. The people on who I could depend. They are gone and I am here and it just not fair. I keep their memory trapped deep down inside, sometimes I cannot silence their voices, I just want to die. People tell me that it is ok, but the weren't there. They don't know what I went through, so how can they say that they care? I keep fighting the battle even though the war is over for me. I guess I just have to accept that I brought the battle home with me.