Depression
Is like a swimming pool.
You dip your toe in
To get a feel.
You place your
Foot on the first step,
Ankles deep.
Your hand clutches the railing,
Preparing for the worst.
You descend to the
Second step,
Knees deep.
You breathe in
A long breath.
You climb to the
Third step,
Waist deep.
You're in too far.
You can't get out now.
You lay your arms in front of you,
Ready to dive right in.

Their hair blowing in the wind.
Their arms dancing to the melodies.
Their feet planted to the ground.
Their friends visiting and talking gossip.
Their senses going blank and unreadable.
Their thoughts carrying the heaviest loads.
Their legs wanting to run, skip.
Their hands breaking, twisting, crunching.
Their scars bringing surprise to others.
Their wounds being left in darkness.
Their hope fading, yet calling out.
Their existance being forgotten, left alone.
Their hearts cannot take the stabs.

I realize I am a tree.

We would be laying on a big bed.
We could be watching a movie or laying silently. And we would be cuddling close to one another.
Your skin would be warm and smooth pressed against my cheek.
And a fluffy blanket would be draped over us.
Kisses and shiny glances would be shared.
We would talk about the lost memories and the new ones to come.
The sun would fall asleep as the moon awakes.
Your arm would be keeping me close.
The light and sound would drown out and all you would be able to sense is the love itself.
And we would fall into a slumber as the fairytales come to life in our naive minds.

I think he is it.
He is the one.
The one I have been waiting endless night for.
I talk to him,
But he doesn't know it's me.
His charm,
Personality,
Sweetness,
Humor,
I want it all.
And I want to be his all.

I'm not sure if I
Want to get better
Just yet.
I am happy,
But I miss the sad passion
I used to have every day.
I miss the drowning in my lungs.
I miss the tunnel
I could never escape.
I miss the monsters and demons
That would swim in my mind at night.
But I do not miss
The old me.