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Jupiter Dec 2018
can't be bothered
to lift my feet
I drag along, the empty street

my head throbs
my body aches
my eyes open, I'm not awake

always tired
can't sleep
sometimes I, forget to eat

this life I live
has me exhausted
my own agenda, has me hostage
I will fail you,
I will fall.
Let you down just like before.
Everything I built will burn.

Broken dreams and broken trust
Crush the hopes you held so dear.
A shallow wave,
I'm so wind tossed.
I can't find my way.

A thousand nights I've spent right here.
A thousand times I've fallen down.
I spend more time in the grave
Than with the living.

What is wrong?
Why can't I change?
I'm always lost or in the way,
And so tired now,
I just want to die.

Because I'm so tired
Of my own tired out excuses.
And I'm so done
With this over played refrain.
I've rehearsed these lines
A thousand times,
But everything is useless.
No matter how hard I try, how hard I cry,
Nothing will ever change.

Can you find me?!
Do you still love me?!
Will you save me once again?
I spend more time falling,
Than I ever do on my feet.
Tell me! Please! Tell me!
What the Hell is wrong with me?!
Eyithen Sep 2018
I am worn
Tears threaten to spill
An oncoming storm
Thunder rolls with anger

They are testing the waters
Don't you see the dark clouds approaching?
There is a shift in the air.
Can you not  feel it?

Pushed too far
I'm about to burst
A darkness is descending, beware

I'm reaching my limit
You better watch out
Like a cloud i can only take so much
Before I break from the weight.
worn, crying, storm, anger, pushed, limit, weight, break, done
Blossom Aug 2018
Sometimes
In the Sunshine
Is where my heart lies
And I never wanna leave

But the dark climbs
Through the night sky
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Sometimes
It's a good day
Clouds are away
And I'm feeling like a champion

Then there's mistakes
That makes my heart shake
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
Should I fight my own war?
Should I kneel down and pray?
You know it's hard to have faith
In a man up above
When the people you know
And the people you love
Drag you hopeless and torn
Left you crying and worn

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to love

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to pray
To that man up above

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Please
A song I've made to go along with the piano, sounds poetic so here it is
Pauper of Prose Jul 2018
We attach ourselves to oblivious ones
Their carefree, we’re careful of acting dumb
They drum up excitement, we listen to their fun
And slowly or quickly we attach to their beings
Refine our perception to make them our dreams
Then reality hits and we never duck
Ruthlessly rattled we’re forced to wake up
Shredding our attachment, our well-being in flux
Then our ears disintegrate making deafness abrupt
Now careening and careless, our feelings corrupt
Learning a lesson that's too hard to instruct
The oblivious ones were us
For we attached to delusions that were destined to erupt
Snow-like, soot settles over fragments of a fallen heart
tatianah Jul 2018
Some people are used to feeling everything
Others feel nothing
I don't feel anything anymore
I feel like everyday I force myself just to smile
Sometime i find myself happy but it always fades
Everything fades
I wake up and find everything pointless
Music would be my escape
Now nothing works anymore
My life is pointless
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
A lot of my favorite memories were made with you
In this old cozy cabin, most of them took place
Before I saw your other side, before I knew
Darkness hiding behind that handsome face.

The first day I walked through the door
Back when you were barely more than my friend
Tense attraction between us we couldn't ignore
We caved in though we were scared of how it might end.

The night we slept together for the first time in your bed
Felt like the thousandth time
We didn't have ***, just basked in the glow from words unsaid
That was the start of a steep and dangerous climb.

All the parties hosted together
We would laugh with our friends and drink
We didn't care if it was Monday or if there was bad weather
Would push it to the very brink.

Owning a puppy, losing him to death
I don't remember ever being held so near
In that car I cried so hard greif captured my breath
You didn't let go until the fall of every last tear.

I met your parents, I was nervous
Knew I would never be the girl of their dreams
Certain their opinions could not stir us
Still relieved to see approving gleams.

Out back, I'd let the dogs run around
Cannot imagine a place I'd call home more than here
I resist the urge to collapse to the ground
Give up, succumb to my deepest pressing fear.

To me this house will always haunted, yet perfect
Do you come here and think about me?
It is worn furniture and bloodstained ceilings that make me recollect
The bittersweet shadows of your ghostly memory.
Home is where the heart is
elizabeth May 2018
rocks get worn
clothes become tired
people do as well
the skies go dark
the oceans toss and turn
in the night
just as i do
in my nightmare-filled slumber
******* is thrown away
fires die out
just as the burning passion
of love that others promise
flowers wilt with time
decomposed and shriveled
just as i have become
may 5, 2018
Once more a storm had quelled my sight,
As the ocean waves stirred violently,
Shouting into the fray, "Is tonight the night...
Or will they again drift back to me?"
And as darkness dimmed desirous light,
I cast my wishes out to sea.

Swelling waves ravage all in their wake,
As I hold on tight with spirits worn,
My withering sails, bound to break,
For merciless winds have left them torn.
Assured my faith would not forsake,
I treated the ails of any scorn,
And awaited shores these waters take,
To lift me from a life forlorn.

Through the fading storm light broke free,
And where it shone beyond the stern,
I saw it floating aimlessly
Amidst the settled waters churn.
I whispered to myself, "How could it be?"
With cause for real concern,
For drifting right on back to me,
Was all I'd hoped to not return.

I began to pray a prayer of plea,
"Be gone my wishes!" Unwilling to learn,
That this captive wish just could not flee,
Longer—must I sail to yearn.
I scooped it up out of the sea,
And sealed it tightly within an urn,
To let them fade to eternity,
As my weary soul was left to burn.
Alyssa Gaul Apr 2018
In the brash brassy light you stand,
shaky, on two feet
like a lethargic elephant

swaying---always swaying
and the light keeps blazing
and your head keeps spinning

You are beyond the point of exhaustion
there is nothing left
no trace of the self that was

If it is time to sleep
Sleep will not come
She is mad at you

you have refused her
for too long- an accident,
really- but normally

she welcomes you back
normally she is happy to
see you, and you float into her arms

not this time

so you keep swaying under that light
until crawling into bed
and the waiting begins

-------------------------------------

While the world sleeps
you turn and turn
worn from the hours
of thinking about anything
but sleep
the comforter brings no comfort
the pillow does not ease the strain
of your neck, the weight of
your head or
of that racing mind

the worst part about being awake
in the middle of the night
is that there is time
to think about all the thoughts
you pushed away before-
they creep up
and turn into waking nightmares
beastly what-ifs and why-didn’t-I’s

the insomniac is most insecure
with nothing to do

during the day you may
busy your tired body with tasks
ignoring the ache of the eyelids,
the pounding of the head

but at night you cannot
make yourself move
a house is sleeping
the world is sleeping
and you have to pretend
that you are as well

so you stare up at the ceiling
(you have memorized the cracks)
or you count and count sheep
(you have reached 100 and back)
and it’s all so pointless
don’t you see?

The Insomniac is fighting a battle
that never ends

a battle that makes you weaker everyday

how long till your body gives out
and will not fight
anymore?
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