im just a brain im trapped inside my body I'll never really walk no one does i just tell my shell to move all i can do is think and manipulate nerves and muscles im not a perfect brain i wasn't treated well by other brains because they weren't treates well by other brains i almost used my shell to **** me but i thought too much overthinking causes me pain but it saved me that day im just a brain but i can cause myself pain? im just a brain i dont know what purpose i was created for and if i think about that for too long I'll cry because i cant process it im just a brain and im very powerful but i can only use 10 percent of my function why is this so many questions that this lonely brain can't answer im just a brain and so are you and none of us know what to do
this is messy and unorganized and unedited but i had to articulate this feeling.
is it my fault, that I love my mother more than my father? every time he breaks my heart, the cracks are filled with bitterness and resentment every healing hug can only do so much when you scream and push me against walls every broken "i'm sorry" means nothing when it happens again and again, and again all i want is to love you but it is so hard to love the one you fear it is so hard to love the one that has looked at you with nothing but hate in his eyes it is so hard to love the one that pushed you down when you asked for help
so is it my fault, if I love my mother more than my father?