rocks get worn
clothes become tired
people do as well
the skies go dark
the oceans toss and turn
in the night
just as i do
in my nightmare-filled slumber
******* is thrown away
fires die out
just as the burning passion
of love that others promise
flowers wilt with time
decomposed and shriveled
just as i have become

Once more a storm had quelled my sight,
As the ocean waves stirred violently,
Shouting into the fray, "Is tonight the night...
Or will they again drift back to me?"
And as darkness dimmed desirous light,
I cast my wishes out to sea.

Swelling waves ravage all in their wake,
As I hold on tight with spirits worn,
My withering sails, bound to break,
For merciless winds have left them torn.
Assured my faith would not forsake,
I treated the ails of any scorn,
And awaited shores these waters take,
To lift me from a life forlorn.

Through the fading storm light broke free,
And where it shone beyond the stern,
I saw it floating aimlessly
Amidst the settled waters churn.
I whispered to myself, "How could it be?"
With cause for real concern,
For drifting right on back to me,
Was all I'd hoped to not return.

I began to pray a prayer of plea,
"Be gone my wishes!" Unwilling to learn,
That this captive wish just could not flee,
Longer—must I sail to yearn.
I scooped it up out of the sea,
And sealed it tightly within an urn,
To let them fade to eternity,
As my weary soul was left to burn.

In the brash brassy light you stand,
shaky, on two feet
like a lethargic elephant

swaying---always swaying
and the light keeps blazing
and your head keeps spinning

You are beyond the point of exhaustion
there is nothing left
no trace of the self that was

If it is time to sleep
Sleep will not come
She is mad at you

you have refused her
for too long- an accident,
really- but normally

she welcomes you back
normally she is happy to
see you, and you float into her arms

not this time

so you keep swaying under that light
until crawling into bed
and the waiting begins

-------------------------------------

While the world sleeps
you turn and turn
worn from the hours
of thinking about anything
but sleep
the comforter brings no comfort
the pillow does not ease the strain
of your neck, the weight of
your head or
of that racing mind

the worst part about being awake
in the middle of the night
is that there is time
to think about all the thoughts
you pushed away before-
they creep up
and turn into waking nightmares
beastly what-ifs and why-didn’t-I’s

the insomniac is most insecure
with nothing to do

during the day you may
busy your tired body with tasks
ignoring the ache of the eyelids,
the pounding of the head

but at night you cannot
make yourself move
a house is sleeping
the world is sleeping
and you have to pretend
that you are as well

so you stare up at the ceiling
(you have memorized the cracks)
or you count and count sheep
(you have reached 100 and back)
and it’s all so pointless
don’t you see?

The Insomniac is fighting a battle
that never ends

a battle that makes you weaker everyday

how long till your body gives out
and will not fight
anymore?

It's just a sleeve.
It's only a glove with loose threads
and small but growing holes
that let in the cold and allow
a glimpse of a frayed soul,
revealing the human that lies within
after all.

Trailing my fingers along the weathered spines
Which one should I pick?

Alone by a wharf
Peaceful yet forlorn
Wishing I could morph
To mask how badly I'm worn
Wish I was strong
The way I used to be
But where I am, is where I belong
The pain will pass, there'll be jubilee
But first I have to crush the glass of the once before chary and elusive me