When my dark clouds rise

And dirt clods fly and I try

In sheer panic to replace

Rotten fruit with dull wax fruit

And wilted blossoms with

Plastic flowers and she thinks we

Will be on yet another short-lived

But cold cycle of tightrope and

Eggshell walking . . .


She comes home

With bags filled with

Apples green & red

Peppers yellow & green & red

Grapes green & purple

Plums yellow & purplish-red

Strawberries, peaches, tomatoes

Bananas & Greek salads.

 
This usually inspires me to go

Outside and make

For this setting a centrepiece of a

Vase filled with a variety of fresh

Picked wildflowers which brings

Her more joy than two dozen

Of the overrated overachiever rose.


At times this seems like

One of  few bridges back

To a healthy & colourful world.

Pow, that's a go shot
Who to dare race a leopard?
Thumbs up, how you'll loose
Get hit by a nail, Boy?
Still breaching life insecurities
Think listening to the wise men
Put your throat out, cry out
Don't try to roar, you're never near
Crooks shoot the animal first
Pow, did you hear that?
Same **** come over again and again
Now you're wasting time
The hare in the race, you know well
Sleep if you're smart and dumb
Get rid of your comic sense, kid
You a genius, bet with real men
Kick them ***** real from their front
If you're listening to the sound
Here, hear with the another sense
Loud, voices trembling your feet
Never mind what they have to give
You don't have to give a ****
Ride across witches cursing you
Let them get the fact that
You won't surrender
Even if you're surrounded

Some would call it a back stab,
I just call it a backtrack,
Every path that was once unseen,
Is now unearthed right in front of me,
I could say that I'm wrong,
I haven't always been strong,
But in my weakness,
I always bounce back like a reflex,
A metaphor of burning ashes giving birth to a Phoenix?,
But I'm still sleeping,
The giant still grows,
Nearly 24 and not a clue of where my future is going,
2 years, countless hours, spilling out my heart,
A piece of me is out there idle,
Waiting for a spark,
Somebody to notice,
But everybody has their own ideas, opinions and motives,
Square one wouldn't scare me if I had pushed so much,
Maybe I'll be proud if I suffer enough...

Got my background *****
Never my fault, I've tried
Don't even blame my fate
Everyone littered constantly
Put my life under many sweats

Had to wake up and run
Never turning back, just trying
When hardwork pays off
To get that taste in every level
Cramps transformed to rewards

It's a risk to root down deep
Staying in that mode unshakeable
That's how I'm growing through
With all these dirts beneath me
Strengthen my stem and blossom
On the surface like a lotus

Sending me down the road
Mom said don't worry, you'll do fine
Work hard
Work honest
Be kind

The road lead me to my home
I worked hard
Worked honest
Was kind

Just as I was told, I found
Hard work moves you forward
Honesty is a must
Kindness is a friend to all

I wasted my energy
For someone
I didn't know
Until they told me
I was working for my enemies
Now I don't know
How to feel that pain
It's some un forgotten truths
They'll never see good in you
Never wish a fortune for you
They created gossips
Turned your friends to foes
Made you live alone
Die alone
Make you **** your own