today at lunch
I saw lilly -
like the flower but
with another l,
a fake -
your girlfriend
(soon to be ex
but you don't know that yet)
she actually smiled at me -
i think she was surprised
i hope so -
in response
my ****** muscles
contorted into a
smile(?) more false
than i ever believed i was
capable of producing.
it wasn't really a smile
it was
******* For Ripping Her Away From Me
it was
I Would Like To Punch You But Self Control
maybe (fingers crossed)
it scared her.

You are a lantern
And I am but a moth,
Gazing in awe at your beauty and welcoming presence.
As if in a trance, I draw near
And bask in your warm light
Too enveloped in your grace
To notice the corpses littering the floor.
You burn my once-gorgeous wings until I can no longer fly,
You sear my retinas so all I can see is you,
And yet I can’t leave, too reliant on your heat.
And just like that, a switch is flipped.
Your light goes out.
And I am left alone with only the wreckage you brought me
And the knowledge
That it’s all my fault.

You whisper
drunken promises
through red-rimmed lips,
eyes softer than the fading sun.
Like the kisses on my face
and the shattered pictures on the floor
they'll be broken all too soon.

What is reality?
What is theory?

Sometimes four
Sometimes five

Sometimes both
Of them at once

Control the future
By controlling the past

Listen here, Oceania
War is peace

First, we'll give everything its due
Then say it never happened

Again and again
Until you believe it's true

Just whisper my name
and it breaks across your lips
tongue in cheek
with a smile as fake as your soul.

Such elegant table manners
the lioness has shown again
as she wipes her ****** mouth
on the white cloth.

don't you understand?
I am happy.

but your happiness
tastes like friendship and laughter,

and my happiness
tastes like antidepressants.

We believe they
are true friends
until that day comes,
when you really need them.