it seeps in through the cracks above her veins
hate
is not a strong enough word
for the demon that lives inside her chest
the days when it dissipates
her eyes will not turn blind
but will remain wide, waiting
for the demon that lives in her chest
is lingering
and the moment she find comfort
solace
the demon will expand,
engulfing pars of her she believed she loved
a stranger in her own body
but so familiar with the parts of herself she despises

Babbling like a fool,
Proving myself a tool,
I see judgment in those eyes,
I know I am despised.

My mouth closes then,
This is not my friend.
They think I am dumb,
I feel oh so numb.

Mouth, know your place,
It is inferior, like your face.
Please, get in line,
That disdain is a sign.

Speaking is not meant for me,
I am a total freak.
They know it on sight,
My chest is so tight.

Put me out of my suffering,
Their judgment is puncturing.
Their eyes are deadly blades,
I wish that I could fade.

I saw your neck line.

I felt a wind
Being blown to my chest,

We were in a crowd when
Suddenly,
We were the only ones there;

The earth stood still
and for a moment I thought
I could hear my own breath.

The material was stretched tight
deep furrows in the red and black
pulled across your shoulder blades so severely
but you were all soft edges.
The blunt edge of a 2B pencil
gently shadowing in the crease
where stomach met hip bones
and warm.
It was lovingly done.

ROBIN REDBREAST CAME MY WAY,
HE COCKED HIS HEAD AS THOUGH TO SAY:
'GIVE ME YOUR LIFE, SO LONGER,
I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE LIKE YOU -STRONGER.'

I SAID: 'BUT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,
WITH YOUR FLASH OF RED,' SO IT'S SAID
THAT WE ENVY YOU AND THE THINGS YOU DO,
IT WOULDN'T BE THE SAME IF YOUR CHEST WAS BLUE.

PROMISE ME THAT YOU'LL LEAVE ME FOOD,
EVEN IF, EVEN IF YOU'RE IN A BAD MOOD,
YOU'LL NOTICE THAT I SAY SOME THINGS TWICE,
IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO HAVE YOU NICE.

YOU'LL SEE ME TOMORROW THRO' LEAVES AND GREEN,
THEN YOU CAN ASK ME WHERE AND HOW I'VE BEEN.

I feel warmer in your arms
I feel saver looking into your eyes

I want to hold you in the dark woods
I want to kiss you on the roads

On your chest i want to lay
Near to your heart i want to woke up everyday
And having too many children from you one day.


¤ In Shaa Allah ¤

She says: What surprised me most was that he matched me. He wasn't intimidated by my ferocity, my intensity, my deep dark desires. When our lips touched, the world filled with a silence that left only the sound of our satisfaction. I stared deep into his captivating eyes as we devoured each other, him finding places that had been untouched and he stared right back with the same power. His hands searched my skin, grabbed at my curves, kissed my body until my back arched. As he ****** inside of me and I moaned with every pleasure, we moved naturally, in sync, heartbeats racing as sweat began to fill the few crevices where our skin didn't touch. My body responds to his movements, to his breath, and every single push inside of me. Our breathing gets lost with one another until we are one body completely enveloped in a high that can't be matched. The high is delicious, *****, and euphoric. There's nothing scarier than being addicted to someone. His lips on mine, hands pulling at my hair forcing me deeper into a kiss I know will lead to our tangled bodies. Yet, within our tangled bodies we find our most animalistic instincts; we find our most wild freedom, and drunk off his lips, we reach that high.

Between our two subconscious minds
dries one cigarette
missing the lips of one another and
the sweet relief of familiarity
and bad habits.

To inhale takes focus
To exhale takes bravery
But to do neither
is nothing more than the
cast of a fishing pole
into the pond that is our ocean.
I was fishing without the flat chest
I still call home;
The happiest habit I know--

**** these tiny butterflies,
that rest in my stomach,
and expand in my chest...

like little paper knives,
i choke.  

and
ill block my lungs one day,
and ***** them up,
coughing out each wing
and eyeball and
tooth
.
.
.

even if theyve got my tongue twisted,
and my brain scattered,

like paint,
it is venom to my
squeezing, breathing heart
and
one day
ill rip out my
intestines
just to see them
gone.