Reaching from my bed,
disguised as safe space,
gradually releasing its poison.
Paralyzing my mind, body and soul
and inexorably imprisoning my whole.
Eventually dropping out of bed,
I continue my daily walk to the toilet.
A gnomish little space.
No windows,
no colours,
no sink,
no outside world.
Merely three walls and a squeaking door.
Isolation at its finest.
Progressing to the kitchen,
I find a room filled with triggers and false comfort,
followed by attacks of anxiety, loneliness and failure.
Eventually ceasing back
to my seemingly soothing safe space.
Yielding into reoccurring patterns
of soul *******.
Drowning in feelings of guilt and self-harm.
Where to find forgiveness? How to find freedom?