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Apr 2021 · 310
Overcome
Siren Apr 2021
To love and
to loose.

To need and
to greed.

Too much and you're left
too little and you bereft.
Take a deep breath
Feb 2021 · 395
Trauer
Siren Feb 2021
Über mein verlorenes Selbst.
Der tiefe Schmerz, das dieses 'Ich' für immer
in der Vergangenheit gefangen ist.
Denn die Zeit ist heimlich vergangen
und hat den Schlüssel mit sich genommen.
Aufnimmerwiedersehen.


Sadness
Over my lost self.
The deep pain
this 'Me' will forever be captivated
in the past.
As time has secretly passed
and with it,
it has taken the key.
Farewell.
The original was in german (my preferred version but I translated it for international purpose).
Oct 2020 · 192
Good pain?
Siren Oct 2020
How can I be healing and hurting at the same time?
Complex worlds.
Oct 2020 · 151
Illusions
Siren Oct 2020
We all live in our own reality.

What's yours?
Does anyone really know what is true?
Oct 2020 · 552
Where I am from...
Siren Oct 2020
There is only one box.
One space to fit in.
If you do not fit, you do not belong.
So I must fit. I must belong.
Where else would I go?

But it feels tight and ill-fitting.
Inhospitable.
No.

Why should I sacrafice my edges to fit into a space
I do not want to be in?
So I went.
To embrace my edges in a place where there is space.
Words about home.
Jun 2020 · 121
Scared
Siren Jun 2020
I am scared of losing the people I love,
because they will find someone
better,
lighter,
happier,
easier,
less problematic,
less worrisome,
...
someone more present,
someone more pleasant.

I am scared of people forgetting me,
of people realizing they're better off without me,
and realizing that I am actually weighing them down.

I am scared of being left alone,
of being abandoned.
(Just like many have before)

I am scared of not being worthy of love and commitment.

I am scared of people realizing they have made a mistake by being friends with me and letting me in their lives.

I am scared of being alone and unloved.

Scared to death.
This fright consumes me.
Jun 2020 · 115
Galled
Siren Jun 2020
I ask myself:
"What is your ******* problem?!"

Until I achingly realize,
I do not have a problem.

I am the problem.
Galled: painfully having the skin scraped off
- Seems like I got to the underlying cause of the issue. Me. -
Jun 2020 · 251
Too...
Siren Jun 2020
Too much. Stimuli.  
The voices. The sounds. The smells. The people. The eyes. The looks. The energy. The words. The preaches. The beliefs. The calls. The gestures. The monologues. The appointments. The requirements. The social norms. The values. The money. The rules. The expectations. The phones. The computers. The letters. The texts. The tasks. The duties. The online world. The offline world. The news. The fake news. The media. The cars. The cyclists. The trains. The planes. The traffic. The food. The drinks. The wind. The sun. The cold. The heat. The rain. The worries. The hope. The plans. The memories. The images in my head. The voices in my head. The heart stings. The cramps. The aching. The shivering. The sweating. The pain. The passing. The change. The rhythm. The routine. The hate. The love. The lies. The truth. The spending. The pretending. With no ending.
Too many people. Too many things. Too many sounds. Too many visuals. Too many thoughts. Too many feelings. Too many notions.
Too many.
Too much.
To take.
No more.
"You are too sensitive."
May 2020 · 82
1, 2, 3, ...
Siren May 2020
self sabotage.
Surprise.
May 2020 · 83
Daily walls, daily walks
Siren May 2020
Reaching from my bed,
disguised as safe space,
gradually releasing its poison.

Paralyzing my mind, body and soul
and inexorably imprisoning my whole.

Eventually dropping out of bed,
I continue my daily walk to the toilet.
A gnomish little space.
No windows,
no colours,
no sink,
no outside world.
Merely three walls and a squeaking door.
Isolation at its finest.

Progressing to the kitchen,
I find a room filled with triggers and false comfort,
followed by attacks of anxiety, loneliness and failure.

Eventually ceasing back
to my seemingly soothing safe space.

Yielding into reoccurring patterns
of soul *******.

Drowning in feelings of guilt and self-harm.
Where to find forgiveness? How to find freedom?
May 2020 · 514
Evil Queen
Siren May 2020
Mirror mirror on the wall,
who is the falsest of them all?

It seems to be,
it must be me.
Am I Grimhilde?
May 2020 · 98
I fell out of love
May 2020 · 93
Dubious
Siren May 2020
I never know,
can never tell,
if my mind and I
are at ease
with each other

of if
we are merely
fooling each other
into obliviousness
Who the **** knows?
May 2020 · 424
Roulette
Siren May 2020
I believe
deep down
I am a bad person

It just so happens to be
that the mask
I am wearing
has a good face
and seems to be covering up
my true bad self
somewhat well

Yet,
if I don't take care and watch out
it might crack
and
blow my cover
Apr 2020 · 122
Misplaced
Siren Apr 2020
This does not seem right.
Because,
this definitely does not feel right.
I do not feel right.

As if
I am a puzzle piece
forced into the wrong puzzle hole.
Losing its edges.
Sacrificing its shape.
Suppressing its whole.

I can't seem to master the control.
**** this ****.
Mar 2020 · 105
Obscure
Siren Mar 2020
I've been trying
to figure out myself
through
figuring out you.

It's not working.

Neither has.
Neither will.
Why am I like this?
Mar 2020 · 75
Used to
Siren Mar 2020
Perhaps,
I am ready
to heal.

Yet,
only
perhaps.

Healing seems frightening.
Terrifying.

These demons,
stuck inside of me
for so long,
have taken up
such a large part
of me.

Without them...
what will be left
of me?

How will I be?

Will I
be?
Healing is not easy.
Feb 2020 · 131
Incomprehensible
Siren Feb 2020
I shift

endless transmutations
infected with miff

subtle causings
ceasing in nothingness

directing
my oblivious being
towards
the inevitable
void
humanoid
Feb 2020 · 191
Head cage
Siren Feb 2020
I am
fed up

of this
game
with
you

I have
created
in my head

Fed up
with this
imaginary world

tearing me
apart

Fed up
with the
impairing
the
glaring
Make stage for the head cage.
Feb 2020 · 97
White lies?
Siren Feb 2020
"Hey! How are you?"

*Insert socially expected lie
of choice here
Feb 2020 · 136
Demise
Siren Feb 2020
As I become lesser
I feel you
progressing
taking over
the little space
that is left
devouring
my whole
overpowering
my all
The battle is over.
Jan 2020 · 306
The Devil's Dance
Siren Jan 2020
How far
do you dare
to go
about

this dance
you mask
as safe
and shout

harmless little games
can't you
see?

Overblown

Overgrown

Forlorn

Witless
you oblivious
                dupe
Eyes and ears closed shut. All signs blended out.
Dec 2019 · 115
Wicked
Siren Dec 2019
How
can I fully love
you

When being around
you
feels like suffocating

My whole being
is robbed
from within

Swallowed
never
to be found again

How
can I
be there for
you

When I can't bear
the person
I am
turning into
when I'm
around
you

Unrecognizable

Tell me
why.

Is loving
you
killing
me?

Yet
not
being there for
you
is just as
grave

Since
without
you
I would not
have been

Me.
What is unconditional love supposed to be?
All just lies?
Dec 2019 · 136
Ana
Siren Dec 2019
Ana
Nibble nibble, crunch crunch
the story of a godforsaken
hungry bunch

'What's for dinner?'
You ask me you sinner!

How dare you?
Now,
go take a bow

I demand
you take no more
otherwise
you will be sore

Don't feel annoyed
against this void
you're just like any other humanoid

So go ahead,
crawl into bed

Who knows,
tomorrow
you might already
be

Dead.
Dec 2019 · 265
Injust
Siren Dec 2019
They crave more
        demand
constantly unfulfilled
never enough

And so I cave

restless
disconnected
unstable

A never ending cycle
of reoccurring quests

stripped
left lifeless

plundered
robbed

                                                  slanted
Dec 2019 · 995
My tart
Siren Dec 2019
You are art

To be

Art

To me.
You are my all. My ****** in every aspect.
Dec 2019 · 118
No
Siren Dec 2019
No
It could have passed

You
The moments
The feelings
The love
The smiles
The tears
The fears
The heartbreak

It could have passed
Left untouched
Undiscovered

No moments
No feelings
No love
No smiles
No tears
No fears
No heartbreak

No heartbreak...
No love.

No love...
                                NO
I'd chose the fears and the tears and the heartbreak. For the smiles and the moments and the feeling. For the smallest amount of love.
Dec 2019 · 127
HE/ART
Siren Dec 2019
'Let's make Art.'
Make?
How do you make art?
I musn't just make art.
I need to live art.
                 see art.
                 feel art.
                 breathe art.
                 BE art.
What even is art?
Anything you want.
Anything that brings your heart up to
a concernable high beat.
So intense,
your whole body
is vibrating.
So loud,
it's hard to see,
                    stand,
                    think,
      ­              be
                                  without.
Dec 2019 · 142
A Perpetual glitch
Siren Dec 2019
My perspective
my situation
my view

my me
my you
       varies
       alters
       glitches
Passing through

A parallel universe

                                            You

What is what?
And who is who?
What is me?
And what is you?

Oh,
what must it be like
to see
and be
true.
Which is reality and which is perceived,
depending on you.
What is what and who is who?
Nov 2019 · 189
Mist/y
Siren Nov 2019
This clouded mass
                        mess
seems stuck
in my head
riddling my thoughts
Nov 2019 · 388
Controlled happiness
Siren Nov 2019
Seemed relief.
Let in the belief,
I'd be in control.

Hasty find,
the foxhole.
Is this foxhole safe?
Nov 2019 · 240
Doomed
Siren Nov 2019
I am constantly
on the wait
on the search
for that
something
someone
sometime
that will
make me feel better
that will finally
make me happy
for good
but I am sick
sick of
the wait
what if
that
something
someone
sometime
won't come
around
and I will be stuck here
forever
between things
between people
between times
never arriving
where I want to be
because I am waiting
for the wrong
people
in the wrong
things
at the wrong
places
to the wrong
times

                                            forever waiting
                                            forever searching
                                            forever stuck
                                            forever lost
Siren Nov 2019
I can't stand
            them
            you
            me.
They took away
the ground
I was
standing on.
                                 What am I
                                  supposed to
                                  rest on?

— The End —