Über mein verlorenes Selbst.
Der tiefe Schmerz, das dieses 'Ich' für immer
in der Vergangenheit gefangen ist.
Denn die Zeit ist heimlich vergangen
und hat den Schlüssel mit sich genommen.
Aufnimmerwiedersehen.


Sadness
Over my lost self.
The deep pain
this 'Me' will forever be captivated
in the past.
As time has secretly passed
and with it,
it has taken the key.
Farewell.

How can I be healing and hurting at the same time?

I am scared of losing the people I love,
because they will find someone
better,
lighter,
happier,
easier,
less problematic,
less worrisome,
...
someone more present,
someone more pleasant.

I am scared of people forgetting me,
of people realizing they're better off without me,
and realizing that I am actually weighing them down.

I am scared of being left alone,
of being abandoned.
(Just like many have before)

I am scared of not being worthy of love and commitment.

I am scared of people realizing they have made a mistake by being friends with me and letting me in their lives.

I am scared of being alone and unloved.

Scared to death.