To love and
To need and
Too much and you're left
too little and you bereft.
Take a deep breath
Über mein verlorenes Selbst.
Der tiefe Schmerz, das dieses 'Ich' für immer
in der Vergangenheit gefangen ist.
Denn die Zeit ist heimlich vergangen
und hat den Schlüssel mit sich genommen.
Over my lost self.
The deep pain
this 'Me' will forever be captivated
in the past.
As time has secretly passed
and with it,
it has taken the key.
The original was in german (my preferred version but I translated it for international purpose).
How can I be healing and hurting at the same time?
We all live in our own reality.
Does anyone really know what is true?
There is only one box.
One space to fit in.
If you do not fit, you do not belong.
So I must fit. I must belong.
Where else would I go?
But it feels tight and ill-fitting.
Why should I sacrafice my edges to fit into a space
I do not want to be in?
So I went.
To embrace my edges in a place where there is space.
Words about home.
I am scared of losing the people I love,
because they will find someone
someone more present,
someone more pleasant.
I am scared of people forgetting me,
of people realizing they're better off without me,
and realizing that I am actually weighing them down.
I am scared of being left alone,
of being abandoned.
(Just like many have before)
I am scared of not being worthy of love and commitment.
I am scared of people realizing they have made a mistake by being friends with me and letting me in their lives.
I am scared of being alone and unloved.
Scared to death.
This fright consumes me.
I ask myself:
"What is your ******* problem?!"
Until I achingly realize,
I do not have a problem.
I am the problem.
Galled: painfully having the skin scraped off
- Seems like I got to the underlying cause of the issue. Me. -